Never Again- Chapter 3

This story popped into my mind today when I shopped at the store to buy shampoo. Its kind of a break from the intensity of "Acceptance." Please leave reviews, as I live for them.

Never Again –Chapter 3

If there was one thing Bobby Brown knew, it was that bad-asses did not go shopping. .Especially THIS badass. Ok, sometimes he'd had to go to Macys when he was guarding Steph, but that was different. Beign a bodyguard was manly, shopping wasn't.

Wasn't Ella supposed to do the shopping? Bobby and the guys smacked skips around and killed bad guys and Ella did the shopping. That's the way the world was set up. No one ever expected Ella to slap bad guys around did they ? No, that wasn't in her contract. So no one should expect a bad ass Rangemen to go shopping.

But Ella was visiting the grandkids and so the shopping fell to a Rangeman. Steph had been after a skip and somehow wound up with tar and what looked like gum in her hair. How, Bobby had no idea. He never knew how the hell Steph always got covered in shit like that. She just had a talent for it. She had tried to wash the tar and gum out so many times that she used the half bottle of shampoo that she had, and the shit still wasn't out. So Ranger had called down to the control room to send one of the guys to get some. And Bobby was the only guy not out at a security call, so he had to go. He was supposed to beat the hell out of people or stitch them up, as he was Rangeman's resident paramedic. Shopping was so fucking not in his contract. But Bobby did like Steph, so he didn't mind that much, plus Ranger had promised him a bonus for doing a non-manly activity.

He found a spot right by the door of the drugstore and scowled. He left his gun in the lockbox under the front seat so he wouldn't scare any of the little old ladies who probably shopped here. He still had his smaller piece in his boot, and his knife. Bobby was 6 feet, 200 pounds with biceps that strained the sleeves of his black Rangeman t- shirt. He walked past the carts and the baskets. He was only getting shampoo, and a Rangeman could carry a fucking bottle of shampoo. And he sure as hell wasn't carrying some pansy assed little basket . Especially not with security cameras everywhere. He wasn't sure if Rangeman did the security for this place or not, and he wasn't risking getting caught on camera carrying a gay little basket.

Bobby scanned the store, always aware of his surroundings, and immediately found the sign that said, " hair care." He swaggered over, sticking out like a sore thumb in his black Rangeman uniform, against the shiny white tiles and shelves. He got to the hair care aisle, and, what the fuck? ?? He was expecting a couple bottles of shampoo, but both sides of the entire row were FILLED with all fucking colors and shapes of bottles. There had to be a hundred different kinds here. Holy shit. Bobby stood in the center of the aisle, looking around, having no clue.

The older sales clerk saw the giant man in black and the dumbstruck look on his face and decided he needed help. " What can I help you with, sweetie?" Bobby looked up. "Sweetie?" She called him sweetie. Did he look like a fucking sweetie? Steph was a sweetie, Bobby was definitely not a sweetie. But he couldn't exactly scream at an old lady, so he just let it slide.

"I need to buy shampoo." The old lady salesclerk gave him a patronizing smile. " What kind of shampoo do you need?, sweetie"

"Holy shit, Bobby thought. Is this little old lady stupid? What the hell does she mean " what kind of shampoo? He bit back a sarcastic remark. He'd been raised not to make fun of stupid people.

" The kind of shampoo you wash your hair with," Bobby said, catching himself before he did a Stephanie eye-roll.

"Well, this whole row is shampoo. Its divided up by brand. Men usually use the brands on the end.

"Um, its not for me. Its for ,um my boss's girlfriend." The salesclerk gave him a disapproving look "No, um, its not like that. I mean, my boss sent me to buy it for his girlfriend., Bobby stammered. "its ok, sweetie. Its not my place to judge. Let me know if you need any help. I'll b e over in cosmetics."

Bobby looked at all the different colors and sizes of bottles. How the hell did he know what kind of shampoo Steph used? It wasn't like he went through her toiletries? Santos probably did that, but not Bobby. He thought about calling Steph and asking, but she was probably still in the shower trying to get the shit out of her hair.

He saw a white bottle that said " for normal hair." Bobby gasped in relief. Steph's hair was normal. Normal, regular hair. This was perfect. There is a God, now I can buy this and get the hell out of here, he thought. He grabbed the bottle and turned to go.

Then, he noticed that the bottle said, " for normal hair that's straight." What the fuck? There was a special shampoo for straight hair? He put the bottle back- he couldn't buy that. Steph's hair was normal but it wasn't straight. Bobby sighed and started to look down the row for one that said normal and curly.

One of the bottles said that it "protects and strengthens". Bobby smiled. He was all about protecting and strengthening. That was what Rangemen did . He was sure Steph would want her hair strong and protected. . He decided to buy that bottle until he saw the words "color treated hair." Shit. He didn't think Steph colored her hair, so he couldn't buy that. I mean, who knew? It might turn her hair orange or something and then he'd probably get fired.

The one next to it said it gave hair "23 vitamins and protein." Why the hell did hair need vitamins. It was dead. He had no fucking idea what to buy, and he'd already been in the shampoo aisle 15 fucking minutes. Ranger was going to kick his ass if he didn't get back soon. He didn't want Ranger to think he couldn't handle a pansy ass job like buying shampoo. Shit.

Hey! Santos would know. He knew all that woman shit. Bobby happily pulled out his cellphone and punched #3.

"Yo, Santos."

"Dude, its Bobby. What kind of shampoo does Steph use?

"How the fuck do I know?"

" You are always hanging out with woman and doing woman stuff.

" I do not do woman stuff, bastard."

" Fuck you Santos. Never mind."

Bobby hung up. He was not about to admit to another Rangeman that he couldn't fucking buy shampoo.

He was getting pissed. "Ok, Brown. Stay calm. You can do this," He said to himself.

There was no way around it. He was going to have to ask the saleslady. It wasn't in his alph-male DNA to ask for help, but was desperate to get the fuck out of there.

The saleslady gave an amused smile to the huge man in black who'd spent over 30 minutes looking at shampoo. "Sweetie, did you find what you need?"

"Um, no. I need shampoo for Steph. Um, she has curly hair, and it is normal, regular hair ,and I think she wants it strong and protected. I don't know if it needs vitamins. What kind is best?'

The salesclerk smiled. This guy was adorable. She saw a chance to make a big sale. She handed him a bottle of high end shampoo.

"This should be perfect for Steph." She said.

Oh, thank God, he thought. He grabbed the bottle out of her hand like it was a life jacket on a sinking ship. Now he can get the fuck out of there.

He grabbed the bottle and raced to the checkout counter.

The checker was a girl with an enormous bosom. Look at the size of her boobs, he thought. How the hell does she even stay upright? Bobby's eyes got huge and he couldn't help but stare.

"Do you have your club card?" the checker asked him.

Bobby finally realized she said something to him and dragged her eyes away from her stupendous rack.

" Huh?"

"Do you have your frequent shopper club card?"

"Um, no. I'm not in the club." And he sure as fuck wasn't going to be a frequent shopper.

"That will be $13.99.

What the fuck? 13.99 for a bottle of shampoo? Holy shit. His shampoo cost $2.99.

He handed the cashier a 20, waited impatiently for his change, and then got the hell out of there.

On the way back his phone rang. Shit . Ranger. "Yo. Brown."

" You've been gone an hour to buy shampoo? Steph is waiting here with tar in her hair. "

"Um, I am 5 minutes out, boss."

Bobby parked the car and ran to the seventh floor. Steph was sitting on the arm of a chair in a robe, her hair glopped together and spikey from the tar.

""Thanks, Bobby," I appreciate it. I know you guys hate to go shopping. " She said,and smiled.

"Steph, honey, you know I love you and I'd take a bullet for you. But I am never buying you shampoo again.