Chapter 10- Daddy Issues
"What's going on?" asked Phoebe as she materialized along side Paige in a swirl of bright orbs. "I thought we agreed that I could spend the day at work since I took off yesterday."
"Yeah, well that was before a demon attacked," said Piper, giving her sister a meaningful look as she bounced Wyatt on her lap to keep him happy.
"What? Is everyone okay?" she asked worriedly, surveying the group that was seated around the living room. She could see that the room had sustained some damage, but nothing they weren't used to cleaning up.
"So to speak," Piper replied, looking not quite herself. She brushed her fingers through Wyatt's hair, trying to calm her nerves. "Did you tell her?" she asked Paige.
"No."
"What's wrong?" Phoebe asked, feeling all of the tension in the room. She slid onto the couch beside Piper and Leo trying to make sense of the myriad of feelings that were bombarding her, despite the empathic blocking potions her family had taken. "What's happened?"
When no one spoke, Paige said, "Maybe Chris should tell you."
"Tell me what?" Phoebe asked, looking to Chris now.
He was seated with his arms crossed protectively across his chest. He looked away and muttered, "It's really not that big of a deal."
"Well, I think it is," said Piper, almost angrily. "And I don't understand why you didn't tell us earlier?"
Phoebe looked back and forth between them. "Tell us what? Something about the future?" she asked hopefully.
"Just get on with it already," Paige said, rolling her eyes as she sat down on the edge of the couch. "Phoebe is about to burst with curiosity."
Phoebe nodded growing frustrated that she was apparently the only one that wasn't in on whatever Chris had to tell her.
Chris sighed and finally said, "I'm your nephew."
"Huh? What?" said Phoebe, absolutely dumbfounded at this revelation. "Could you say that again?"
"I'm Piper and Leo's son," he said with a shrug.
"Really?" Phoebe's mouth fell open and she looked back and forth between Chris and the couple sitting beside her. She then glanced atthe toddler on Piper's lap. "So that means you're Wyatt's little brother?"
He nodded.
"I get to be an auntie again?" she squealed excitedly.
Chris nodded again slowly, clearly amused by his aunt's behavior.
"I bet you are going to be the cutest little baby," Phoebe said high pitched voice, squinting her nose and trying to imagine a younger version of Chris while she simulated pinching a pair of chubby baby cheeks. "I can't wait! Wyatt, your little brother is going to be so cute. I just know it!"
"Phoebe, he's twenty-two not two!" Paige chided her.
"I know, I know… but this is huge! Everything makes so much more sense," said Phoebe, sounding relieved. "Of course only family would travel through time to change something this big. Don't you think?"
She turned to Piper and Leo and she could see that they were clearly not amused. This information was staggering to say the least and apparently they were not taking it well. And judging from the way Chris was acting, he wasn't faring much better.
Piper sighed and stood up with Wyatt. She quickly dragged the playpen into the living room and set Wyatt in it with a few toys and the bottle she had prepared earlier. Wyatt clumsily picked the bottle up, still learning to feed himself, and happily began to slurp his formula. Piper then resumed her position next to Leo on the couch.
"I take it Chris didn't just come out and tell you, so how did you all find out?" Phoebe asked.
LEO cleared his throat and said, "Chris called me 'Dad' when I was about to be attacked by the demon. He pushed me out of the way and saved me, only to get injured himself."
"Oh." Phoebe smiled knowing how much Chris was probably beating himself up inside over slipping like that. He looked perfectly fine now so she assumed that he had already been healed by Leo.
"So when will you be born?" Paige asked Chris curiously.
When Chris refused to answer, LEO said, "A little less than a year from now."
Paige's eyebrows rose in surprise. "So Piper…. anything you want to tell us?"
"I'm not pregnant," she said firmly. "There is no way that I can be. Leo and I-" she stopped there when she realized how personal this was getting.
Paige seemed to ponder this. "Did you think about your own existence when you split them up?" she asked Chris.
Chris shook his head and softly said, "I didn't know that would happen."
LEO put a comforting hand on his son's arm and looked to Piper and Leo sitting across from them. "Things can change, you know. Piper and I made it work when I became an elder… you can still too."
Piper and Leo nodded at LEO, grateful that at least they knew there was a chance. They then looked to one another, but neither seemed to be able to say anything. Leo hesitantly reached down and grabbed Piper's hand in his own and she smiled at him warmly. It wasn't much, but at least it was a beginning.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Piper finally asked her son, looking a little sad and a lot less angry now.
Chris shrugged. "You weren't supposed to know."
"But why?"
Chris sighed in frustration. "You know why… you've been to both the future and the past. Too much can change if you're not careful. There can be consequences."
"A lot can change," Piper agreed wistfully, still remembering the future they had seen with Prue in it.
"I still wish I had known," said Leo, looking as though he was upset with himself. "I've treated you awfully… I'm sorry that I didn't trust you…"
Chris tried to shrug indifferently, but it was easy to see that it had bothered him more than he care to let on. "It's okay. If I were in your position, I probably wouldn't have trusted me either," he said.
"I know I haven't been that kind to you, but am I… was I a good mother?" Piper asked.
Chris' eyes began to shine and he swallowed thickly. "You were the best."
This made Piper smile and her own eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you growing up. I know how hard it is to not have a mother…"
Chris nodded and but seemed unable to say anything else. He looked uncomfortable and LEO knew enough to change the subject.
"So did you find anything out from the Elders?" LEO asked his younger self, though he knew from Piper that he hadn't.
"Not really…" said Leo.
Paige threw up her hands in aggravation. "Well that is completely unhelpful! Shouldn't we just assume that some future Source is the one that comes after us? That's usually who wants us dead."
LEO shook his head. "I thought of that too, but there was no Source at the time you were all killed. The Charmed Ones had just vanquished the last one and another had yet to rise to power."
"What else do we have to go on?" Phoebe asked, rubbing at her temples in frustration.
"The Elders seem to think that the demons responsible for the Charmed Ones deaths haven't come into power yet or that they haven't assembled as a clan yet," Leo offered. "I know it's not a lot, but it's at least something."
"Wait, I thought that demons are born into clans?" she asked, sounding confused.
"Usually they are," Leo responded. "But occasionally a band of demons from different backgrounds will come together to form a new clan in order to gain power."
Phoebe shook her head. "But we've never come up against a clan like that. It seems like there would have to be a lot of different demons with a lot of different powers in such a clan. The only clans we've met all shared similar powers."
"I think Leo is right," said LEO, looking contemplative. "In the future the Charmed Ones will be killed all on the same day by different demons with different methods of killing."
"Couldn't that have been a coincidence?" asked Paige. They all looked at her in disbelief. "Alright, alright. That would be quite coincidence. So how do we find these demons?"
"It almost sounds like they would be trying to organize the underworld," said Piper. "But I never heard of that happening without a clear Source."
"It's possible that would a clan would try," said Leo. "All of the recent Sources of evil have had relatively short terms. If the clan was built slowly over time, they could organize the underworld by gaining numbers and eliminating any opposition."
"All the clans we've been up against so far had a leader of some sort. Maybe if we figure out who it is we can stop them from ever assembling," suggested Paige.
"Any ideas how we figure this one out?" asked Piper, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I tried to do some research at magic school but I didn't find anything useful," said Leo, looking disappointed.
"What about you Chris? Did you learn anything from your underworld contacts?" Paige asked.
"No. I poked around as much as I could without being conspicuous, but I haven't heard anything," Chris said, sounding disappointed.
"Maybe you should try going in disguise and infiltrate a demon bar or something," Paige suggested.
Chris gave her an incredulous look. "How do you think I find my contacts?" he said in a mocking tone. "It's not like they're going to spill their secrets to a witchlighter."
"Witchlighter?" she said looking amused at the term.
"Future slang," he responded with a shrug. Paige only raised her eyebrows in response.
"Have you tried looking for the cave you were taken to when you were captured?" Phoebe suggested. "If this is a clan we're dealing with than it's reasonable to assume they might-"
"God, what do you people think I'm trying to do!" Chris suddenly shouted, standing up from the couch angrily. "Of course I'm doing all of those things! Do you have so little faith in me?"
"Well, we're just trying to help and it's not like you've found anything out yet. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places," Paige countered.
"You're unbelievable…" he muttered. They were acting as though he weren't even trying.
"What? What did I say?"
"I'm not taking this anymore," said Chris in frustration. "I'm out of here."
"Don't leave," said Piper, who had been rather quiet all this time.
"Sorry," Chris responded softly, before disappearing in a swirl of orbs.
"Where is he going?" Piper asked Leo as her new found son orbed away once again.
Leo closed his eyes and reached out with his senses. "He must have gone to the underworld because he is off my radar."
"Seriously, what is with him?" Phoebe asked. "Any time we get remotely close to a serious conversation with him he takes off."
"It's hard to explain…" LEO responded, feeling just as frustrated.
"Well, try," Piper said, her arms still crossed over her chest.
"He's trying his best and you just gave him the impression that it's not good enough."
"I didn't mean to do that," said Paige looking as though she felt badly about snapping at her nephew. "I just want to get to the bottom of this."
"We all do," said Phoebe. "But it's going to be hard if Chris isn't willing to work with us."
"He's trying to."
Paige rolled her eyes. "Doesn't seem like it."
"You need to remember how hard this must be for him… he witnessed his mother's death and his aunts were taken from him on the same day," LEO said slowly.
"Not to mention that he was captured as well," Leo added thoughtfully.
LEO nodded. "And it isn't easy being the past with you all, especially because when he goes back to the future you may not be there."
"But we're going to change that," Paige protested.
"It doesn't make this any easier," LEO said. "Whether we change the future or not, he's still left with a lot of painful memories… I should know…"
"I'm sorry," Piper said softly as she rose from her seat and sat down again beside him. She then reached over and taking his hand into her own. "I never thought of it that way."
"I think he's afraid to get too close because subconsciously he doesn't want to be hurt again. It's hard for him to open up… to me especially. He's just been through so much," he said, squeezing Piper's hand.
"But you're his father, why does he have such a hard time opening up to you?" Piper asked.
LEO sighed. "For a lot of reasons, really…" he said, remembering some of the difficult decisions he had to make in order to save his son.
* * *
Leo walked into Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute in San Francisco and checked in at the main desk. By now he was used to their procedures and signed his name under the list of visitors after saying hello to the receptionist. She was a pretty girl named Sara and she seemed to have taken a liking to Leo and his family. She buzzed him in and he quickly made his way down the corridors to the bank of elevators at the far end.
He rode the nearest elevator to the third floor. When the doors opened, he saw Chris's doctor standing at the nurse's station writing in a patient's chart. The small woman had salt and pepper hair cut in a simple bob and wore a pair of horned rimmed glasses.
"Kim…" he called out to his former charge. She was one of the potential whitelighters that Leo had to give up years ago when he decided to focus his attention solely on the Charmed Ones.
The older woman turned when she heard someone call her by her first name and saw that it was Leo. She smiled sadly. "It's good to see you again so soon, Leo. I thought you might have given up for awhile."
"I can't… Do you think he will see me today?" he asked hopefully.
"I don't know. He's still pretty bitter that you brought him here."
Leo sighed and ran a tired hand over his face. "I know… but I didn't have any other choice. He needed help..."
"You're right, he did," she said simply. "I know it's hard that he doesn't want to see you, but at least he still seems to respond to Wyatt."
"Yeah…"
Things had seemed to be a little better after Chris had recovered from slicing his arms open, but looks were apparently deceiving. After his second suicide attempt (using alcohol and pills) Leo realized that Chris needed more help then he and Wyatt had to offer. He had brought Chris to the only person he knew that could help him without revealing his magical heritage, Dr. Kim Stevens.
Leo had admitted his youngest son to Langley Porter a few weeks ago. Chris had been understandably upset about the whole ordeal and had refused to see his father since then, though he did allow Wyatt to come visit him. Because he was a minor, Leo technically did not have to give in to the teenager's demands, but abided by them anyway assuming that Chris needed some space.
Kim reached out and patted Leo on the shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry. You did the right thing bringing him here."
Leo nodded. "I just need to get through to him somehow."
"You will find a way. I'm sure of it."
"How's he doing with the therapy?" Leo asked.
Dr. Stevens looked pensive for a moment. "Better, I think. He's talked about his mother's death and the suicide attempts, but not what happened to him. I don't know if he ever will… we keep getting close and he's been acting out a bit because of it… I guess this is where I should tell you that there's been a new development…"
"What is it?" Leo asked worriedly.
"He's picked up a new habit," she explained, knowing that Leo would understand what she meant.
When he was first brought here Chris had refused to eat in protest, hoping that his father would eventually spring him from the hospital before allowing him to starve. When that didn't happen, he had reluctantly begun to accept the meals that were brought to him, though Chris never ate much in spite.
"What?"
She looked around to make sure they were alone and said, "He's been attempting to self mutilate his body?"
"What!"
"Shh… it's okay. We're monitoring him by live video feed now, just in case. He hasn't really been successful. He used his nails to claw his skin first and then began to use the plastic ware that came on his meal trays. He barely broke the skin, but the wounds he did sustain are healing with minimal scarring. We're addressing it in therapy…but I must tell you that when we discovered this issue we had to sedate him that evening and place him in restraints to prevent him from harming himself any further. The episode was pretty bad, but I think the worst has passed."
"But why? Why is he doing that? Is he trying to kill himself again?" Leo asked exasperatedly.
"No, it's not like that. It's a coping mechanism. I can give you some literature on the subject if you'd like?" she asked.
Leo nodded, feeling more and more drained by the second. "Yes, thank you… could you please ask Chris if he will see me?" he asked, growing tired of his son's attempts to destroy himself.
"I just came from his room and he's asleep now, so I am unable to ask him."
"Oh," Leo said disappointedly.
"You misunderstand me," Kim explained. "He's currently unable to refuse, so it won't hurt if you sneak in to see him."
Leo smiled at her deviousness. "He'll probably be mad at me."
"Oh well," she said indifferently. "You are his father and you have a right to see him. Now go… and I will get you those pamphlets I mentioned."
Leo nodded and turned towards Chris's room at the end of the long white hallway. He paused outside the door, peeked through the window, and saw that Chris was indeed asleep. He quietly slipped inside and sat down across from the bed in one of the visitor's chairs.
Staring at Chris's slight form dressed in blue and white striped hospital pajamas, Leo couldn't help but feel the pain of guilt radiate across his chest. He felt like such a failure. How had he let things get so out of hand? Why wasn't he there the day of the attack? Why didn't he find his little boy sooner? Why had any of this happened?
Leo sat there, grateful to just watch Chris sleep, for a long while. He noticed that Chris's breath seemed to quicken slightly and he began to move in his sleep. He then suddenly began to thrash about and begging some unseen attacker to "stop."
Having already witnessed some of these nightmares, Leo knew how disoriented Chris usually was when he awoke and approached with caution. He gently reached out and shook Chris's shoulder to wake him, calling his name repeatedly.
Finally Chris shouted, "NO!" and quickly shot up into a seated position and moved against the headboard protectively.
"Chris, it's okay. It's just me… Dad…" Leo said softly, reaching out to him.
Chris's tear filled eyes sought out Leo's own searchingly. He then scanned room and seemed to realize that he was in the hospital and not in some dark cave. His face crumpled with a mixture of despair and relief and he brought up his knees to his chest as he began to sob.
"Shh… it's okay," Leo said lovingly, taking a seat beside the distraught fourteen year old. "It's okay now… everything will be alright…"
Chris shook his head forlornly, but didn't respond otherwise. Leo took a chance and reached out to Chris, pulling him in an embrace. Surprisingly, Chris allowed this small gesture. Had this been any other time, Chris may have pushed him away in anger, but for now he accepted the comfort.
"What was your dream about?" Leo asked hesitantly.
Chris still didn't respond and continued to cry, a little more quietly now.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Leo tried again, clutching Chris closely.
"You didn't come…" the fourteen year old mumbled against his chest.
Leo was confused. Did Chris have a dream about him? "What's that?"
"You didn't come. I kept calling for you over and over again… but you didn't come… why didn't you come? Why?"
"I couldn't hear you…" said Leo, his chest radiating with pain once more. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't hear you. I would have come had I known, I swear it!"
"You didn't come…" Chris moaned piteously, as he buried his head in Leo's arms. "I was so scared… still so scared… you still don't come…"
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" Leo pleaded over and over again, his own tears falling onto Chris's mess of brown hair as he held onto him tightly. He was beginning to realize now how mistaken he had been to stay away from his son. "I'm so sorry…."
* * *
"I guess you could say he's afraid we're going to reject him or leave him behind somehow. So if he doesn't get close then that can't happen," he began.
"You mean he has abandonment issues?" Paige asked.
He nodded. "Because I was an elder, I wasn't always home a lot when the boys were younger," LEO explained. "I did my best to make time for the boys, together and separately, but it wasn't always enough. Chris has held some resentment against me for that and for some reason thinks that I favored Wyatt over him."
"Did you?" Piper asked curiously.
"Of course not," LEO said firmly. "I made sure I spent equal time with both of them, but Chris still believed I spent more time with Wyatt. I guess it was because I had to miss some of his school events and baseball games because of my Elder duties. I tried to make it up to him but he was always disappointed. He was young… and he missed his dad."
"I thought you said we made it work. It sounds like you were absent a lot of the time," Piper said aloud, though she didn't mean it the way it sounded.
"I did my best," LEO said sadly. "It just never seemed like enough… and then I was unable to hear him call when the demon's attack. First because I was up there and Jonas had put me on mute, and then because Chris was in the underworld. I guess in some ways he thought I had forgotten about him… Anyway, after we found him…"
LEO paused as he became choked with emotion and it was all he could do to try and swallow the lump that had formed in his throat.
"You said he wasn't the same," Piper added, encouraging him to go on.
LEO nodded. "Chris wasn't handling things well. I tried to get him some help, but he-" LEO had to stop again and wipe away his tears. "I don't want to say anymore… Chris would be upset with me for revealing too much… Anyway, he resented me for some of the difficult decisions I had to make."
Piper squeezed his hand again, trying to reassure him.
"Later, when things began to deteriorate between us… I agreed to let him go live with his Grandpa Victor."
"Chris lived with Dad?" Piper asked in surprise.
LEO nodded wearily. "I thought I was doing what was best for him, but I think in some ways Chris was trying to test me… and I failed him."
"He thought you would have fought to keep him with you," Phoebe said knowingly.
"I would have too had I known that was what he really wanted. I figured he was still upset with me and needed some space, but I stupidly gave into a teenager's wishes… When I was finally able to reconnect with him again, we were ripped apart."
"That's when Wyatt held you captive?" Paige asked.
"Yes, Chris thought I was dead. After that his big brother became evil, the world went to hell, and our family fell apart…"
"That's so sad," said Phoebe, feeling LEO's pain. "I can't imagine all that he has been through. He's carrying around a lot of baggage, isn't he?"
LEO nodded again. "More than you know…"
A/N: The family's reaction to Chris's identity wasn't how I originally planned it to be. I like things to be pretty angsty and dramatic, and I think the scene kind of fell short. But at least fits with their personalities and their canon reactions. Piper ended up being much more subdued that I had anticipated, but that is only because she's still trying to understand it all. There will be some bonding moments in the coming chapters.