A/N: The overwhelming majority of you voted yes, so new chapter! Sorry this took so long to get up. I'm really satisfied with this one though, and I think the wait was worth it. This entire chapter is loosely based on some drabble I wrote when I first started this story. Oh, and despite the fact that Kutner is dead on the show, I'm keeping him alive in this fic and all fics I write in the future. So, enjoy!
Love and Angst
Thirteen gazed through the glass into Brock's room, contemplating him as he slept post surgery. Natalie sat by his bedside, keeping a protective vigil. When she saw Thirteen, she gave her a sad smile and gestured for her to sit beside her. The doctor did as bidden, plopping down in the adjacent chair and running a tired hand through her hair. The pair rested in silence for several minutes, and after a while, Thirteen spoke. "How do you feel about all this?"
"I'm not entirely sure," Natalie replied. "I guess I'm scared. But I'm going to ride it out with him. He needs someone, and if I left him now, it'd crush him."
"It's normal to be afraid," Thirteen said. "I'm always afraid. Afraid that my life in the end will wind up lacking all meaning, that I won't have any impact on the world, that I'll leave everyone regretting that they wasted time with someone whose mind had deteriorated enough that they couldn't even hold a conversation." Thirteen found herself shocked. She had just confessed her deepest, most private emotions to Natalie, emotions that she hadn't even shared with Foreman. I'm getting desperate for someone who really understands.
"Why do they call you Thirteen?" The question was completely irrelevant and off topic, and caught Thirteen by surprise.
"When House's old team left, he hired forty new fellows and planned to weed out the best doctors by means of a game. Each of us wore a card with a number on it around our neck; we all looked ridiculous walking around the hospital like that. It was sort of funny. But anyway, my number was thirteen."
"But Dr. Kutner and Dr. Taub both go by Kutner and Taub."
"Yeah. I was extremely…secretive then. By the time we were narrowed down to I think seven fellows, everyone had learned each other's names. Except mine. I wouldn't tell them my name. When House asked, I told him it was in my file. I didn't want to get close to people because of the disease. I didn't even know I had it then. I guess I was trying to prepare myself."
"And eventually it all came out?"
"I was an enigma. In a way I still am. House likes enigmas because he can solve them. He went to work on me like a Rubik's Cube, and all he came out with was that I'm bisexual, a piece of gossip that spread through the hospital like wild fire, and that my mom died of Huntington's."
"You're bisexual?" Natalie gave her a questioning look.
Thirteen sighed. Is that all people care about? "Mmmhmm. But that's not relevant."
"After you tested yourself, how did you cope?" Thirteen knew all these questions and exploring her history through them was Natalie's was of asking advice, so she complied despite her reluctance.
"I did lots of things that I'm not proud of. I alienated people even more than before to make it easier on me. I told myself that it was to avoid hurting them, but really I was just being selfish." Thirteen put her head in her hands and took a deep breath, remembering the dismal time. Images of dark clubs, shots of alcohol, ecstasy tablets, and empty sex flashed through her mind. "In short, I self-destructed. One hostage situation and a near death experience later, I realize that I don't want to die. I turned my life around, began to form actual human relationships. It occurred to me that I couldn't go it alone. And then I fell in love with Eric." Natalie nodded in understanding. "He needs you now more than ever. Brock's lucky to have you. He won't end up like I did."
The room fell into quiet as neither felt there was anything left to say. Thirteen leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Even though Brock had been diagnosed and it was over, she couldn't shake the sensation that somehow, this was only the beginning. She found herself and Natalie becoming unlikely friends, but friends nonetheless. She recognized that the more time she spent with the other woman, the more time she spent with Brock, and the more time she spent with Brock, the closer he came to repenting, and the closer she came to forgiving. The young doctor decided not to dwell on it for too long before getting up and walking out to the nurses' station. She reached behind the counter and liberated a notepad, much to the disdain of a certain Nurse Brenda. Thirteen strode back to Brock's room, removed a pen from the pocket of her lab coat, and scribbled a set of numbers down. She tore the page from the pad and handed it to Natalie. "We should keep in touch," she said, trying to smile.
"We should," Natalie replied, mimicking Thirteen's facial expression.
"Bye." With that she exited the room, made her way over to the nurses' station again and returned the notepad.
"You could at least ask before you take things," snapped an unhappy Brenda. "You're a regular kleptomaniac."
"Not really," Thirteen replied smugly, knowing that her arrogance would annoy the nurse. "Kleptos don't usually return things." She gave a faux smile and walked off to diagnostics.
Foreman sat in the cafeteria with Chase and Kutner, all three sipping their coffee after a long day. The room was dark and empty except for the three doctors and the janitor who wears his pants backwards. "So," Chase began. "You and Thirteen in the surgical gallery?"
"We had a moment," Foreman replied. "One of those moments that really deepens a relationship and betters you as a person."
"If you say so. After seeing that though, I can guarantee that you'll get some at home." Foreman simply rolled his eyes at the comment before listening to what Kutner had to say on the matter.
"You're both lucky that you're girlfriends aren't afraid of public displays of affection. If we're out, mine wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole."
"You have a girlfriend?" Foreman asked.
Kutner's expression changed from one of sad jealousy to one of confusion. "Yes. No. Sort of." At this, the other two laughed.
"How can you not know?" Chase mocked.
"It's complicated. And weird. But that's beside the point. I guess I'm just trying to say that you're both lucky to be with someone you love."
"You've got that right," Foreman sighed, his eyes far away and a look of excited knowing on his face. He got up from his seat and tossed out his coffee cup.
"Where're you going?" Chase called after him.
"To see Remy!" was all he gave in reply, leaving his colleges dazed and wondering, brushing past Taub as he ran. Out of the blue, Kutner broke the silence that had settled upon the cafeteria.
"Who's Remy?" Chase smacked his forehead and even the janitor looked up. "What?"
"You can't be serious," Taub and Chase said simultaneously.
"I am. Who's Remy?"
"Bisexadrine," Taub stated, remembering something House once said.
"Oh!" Kutner exclaimed in realization. "So that's her name." Chase and Taub just shook their heads at the other doctor's antics, both laughing quietly to themselves.
Thirteen sat at the table in Diagnostics, reading over a file. Her head shot up when she heard the door open, but a smile settled upon her face when she saw who it was. Foreman walked over to where she sat, and pulled up the chair next to her so that they were face to face. "Hi," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"How's everything with Brock and Natalie?"
"They're handling things well," Thirteen replied. "Well, at least she is. He was asleep. I gave her my number, told her to keep in contact."
"That's good."
"Yeah. Everything really is changing. I actually get along with Natalie really well." The couple sat in silence when Thirteen finished her statement, both thinking separately about their future together, Thirteen about he imminent death, Foreman about what he was preparing himself to do at that very second.
"Earlier, you said that change would come to us. What'd you mean?" Thirteen asked.
"This," Foreman replied. She watched intently as he reached inside the pocket of his lab coat with his left hand and took the back her own hand with his right. He drew his fist from his pocket and her fingers around it. Thirteen gasped when she felt something cold and round and metallic being pressed into her palm. Foreman removed his hands, allowing Thirteen to fully digest the moment. She felt her face twist into an enormous, beaming grin as she stood and threw her arms around Foreman. She began to sob tears of joy into his shoulder and grip both him and the ring tighter.
When she finally let go, Thirteen kissed him, rested her forehead against his, and whispered a single word: "Yes."
A/N: So, whatdijya think? Remember, not everyone reviews, so YOU need to! I'll curl up in a fetal position in some dark and dismal place and refuse to write anymore unless I get a significant number of reviews. So for the sake of my dignity as much as your entertainment, press that button!