I decided to go out into the garden. Maybe some fresh air would help me clear my head. There were so many things that I was trying to sort out.

I had just come to terms with what exactly Sebastian was starting to mean to me and was starting to wonder just exactly what I was to him. Obviously, yes, I was his Master. He served me, and accomplished anything I asked of him so long as it was within the boundaries of our contract. But was there anything else? Could I mean anything more to him? This is another thing that I had a lot of time to think about lately. I noticed that he did seem to go out of his way to do things for me that he was never ordered or required to do. Like the time he fixed the ring that Lizzie broke, or how he shielded my eyes to keep me from seeing the dead prostitute the night that we discovered that "Jack the Ripper" was Madame Red and Grell Sutcliff. There are other things too, and I am honestly starting to believe that he looks out for me in ways that are unrelated to our contract, and it would seem, that he might actually care for me.

I walked down the wide steps that led to my backyard and was upset –but not at all surprised – to find that Finny had found another way to kill half the plants on the premises and to see Sebastian trying to fix his new mess.

He was alone. Busy, but alone. If there was anything I wanted to know, now would be the perfect time to ask. It would be possible to casually – so he wouldn't suspect anything - start a conversation with him and ask him what exactly he thought of me. After all, he had said before that he wouldn't lie to me, right? But, no. I couldn't, could I? He would wonder, he would suspect what I didn't want him to know. What would he think of me then? I try not to show any hint of weakness to anyone, least of all him. Still, now would be a good time, possibly the only time, I would get to talk to him-

"SEBASTIAAANN!" I heard someone yell before getting the chance to make my decision.

Without bothering to even look up from the rose bush he was trimming, Sebastian ducked seconds before a very feminine man with long red hair who was descending from the sky could get a hold of him and went skidding into the dirt.

"Sebastiaaann!" said Grell blushing. "I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop by! I thought we could hang out! So what'd ya say? Wanna go on a D-A-T-E date?!"

"No." replied Sebastian still not even taking the trouble to look at the infatuated man. "There's too much to be done here, even if I wanted to leave."

"O-okay." said Grell looking slightly put out. But, quickly recovering he then asked, "Wh-what about later this afternoon?"

"I have to make preparations for the Young Master's dinner."

"Later tonight?"

"I have to assist the Young Master in preparing to retire for the evening."

"Later, later tonight?"

"I have to make preparations for tomorrow morning; the Young Master has a meeting with a very important client."

Grell pouted. "Awww, why are you so busy, Sebby?"

Sebastian smiled. "A butler's work is never done."

"You're so dedicated!" Grell squealed before adding maliciously, "That little brat is lucky you care so much about him."
"Grell, I ask that you refrain from referring to the Young Master in such a demeaning manner, but in regards to your last comment, I am simply a butler doing his job.

"Well, yeah . . ." said Grell hesitantly. "You're doing your job, but you seem to always go the extra mile for that kid."

"Nothing but excellence is to be expected by a butler serving under the Phantomhive family. Where would we be otherwise?"

Grell regarded Sebastian skeptically as he continued to trim the rose bushes. "What exactly does he mean to you then?"

Was this it? Was I about to have the question that had been weighing on my mind for some time now answered? I waited anxiously – but warily – for his response.

Sebastian was quiet as he snipped the rose bush. At first I thought he was ignoring Grell, but after a few minutes he spoke.

"The Young Master and I have a contract. According to that contract I am to be what I am now, his humble servant. And I am to serve him until he has accomplished what he has set out to do. Its as simple as that."

"You say that, but you still do things for him that in no way benefit you and put you in harms way." Grell said jealously. "You can be rather selfless when it comes to that boy."

Sebastian laughed. "You forget what I am, Grell. It is true that I serve my master selflessly; however, I do have something to be gained from it all. There truly is no such thing as altruism; no one acts on selfless terms without regard to how it will affect themselves. My situation is no exception to this. I am but a tool to be utilized by my master, as he is but a means to my end."

So that was it.

Despite what I had been starting to see him as, nothing had changed for Sebastian. I felt like a complete fool for believing for even a second that it was possible for someone like him to feel anything, least of all, toward me. Still, it hurt. As if someone had just slapped me hard across the face, I walked back inside dazed, his words still stinging.

I locked myself in my office for the next couple of hours, trying to occupy my mind and keep myself from thinking about what had occurred this afternoon. I went through my mail, handwrote a few invitations to other aristocrats I was acquainted with, and went over the Funtom Company's inventory list at least five times, but it was no use. Like a broken record, I could still hear fragments of what Sebastian had said earlier this afternoon echoing over and over and over without end.

He was- He still is, the only thing in this world that I can truly depend on, but after all that he had said I didn't know if I could ever face him again. Surely I would have to sometime, but not now. Not if I could help it. I looked at the clock and realized that it was almost time for my evening meal and that Sebastian would come to call me soon.

I quickly decided to go to my room and lock the door before he could get me, if I pretended to have fallen asleep he would probably leave me alone, for the rest of the evening at least. I gathered the envelopes that were strewn across my desk, threw a couple of books on a shelf (whose proper place was much too high for me to reach), and was about to leave but I only got as far as unlocking and opening the door because blocking my only exit was a tall man in a black tailcoat.

"Ah, there you are, Young Master." he said. "This evening's meal has been prepared."

"I won't be eating tonight." I said trying to get around him. I had lost my appetite quite some time ago.

"Oh? May I ask why?" he asked pretending not to notice my attempts to pass him.

"I am retiring early this evening. I've been working all day and I'm tired."

Sebastian looked concerned, though it probably was for the fact that his cooking was about to go to waste since it couldn't have been meant for me. "But, Young Master, a growing young man needs to receive the proper amount of nutri-"

"Sebastian I order you to not press the issue any further." I snapped shoving passed him into the hall.

I started walking in the direction of my room, all the while expecting to hear the usual "Yes, my Lord," or "As you command," instead he asked, "Young Master, if I may be so bold to say, you seem upset with me. Is something the matter?"

"No. Its nothing."

"I don't believe that to be a fact, master. It does not appear to be, as you have said, 'nothing'."

"What's it matter to you, anyway?" I snapped.

"As your butler, I wish to know if I have done anything to upset the Young Master. Is there a problem in the way I have been performing my duties?"

"No." I responded irritably trying to walk away.

"Has my cooking been unsatisfactory?"

He was really pushing it.

"No."

"I can't keep trying to guess." He said with a pleasant smile. "If I have been insufficient in my work or have done something to upset you, I wish to know. So why don't you tell me?"

"I SAID ITS NOTHING, DAD! STOP IT!"

Damn!

Sebastian had a look of utter shock on his face. "D-Dad?"

I slipped up. I needed to get out of here.

"I will be retiring early this evening," I repeated. "Don't bother to come help me."

With that, I ran off.