Okay people are asking me to carry on, so I will…

When Gibbs entered the bullpen Tony was sitting at his computer staring at the blank screen, Gibbs pitied him even though at the same time he was angrier than he had ever been with anyone before. Gibbs sighed and walked in, Ducky and Abby were there, Abby's eyes were moist with tears and McGee was feverishly trying to comfort her. Gibbs opened the letter and read it; ever pair of ears listened and remained quiet till he had finished speaking, even though he knew they wanted to speak. Abby talked first. She asked what she meant by needing help, protection, who was Ziva running from when she came to NCIS? Gibbs decided that this was not the time for secrets; he knew Ziva might kill him if she ever found out, but she could live with that. So Agent Gibbs poured out the whole story of Ari. Saying that Ari was her brother and how Ziva had killed him for Gibbs even though she didn't know him. How she came to NCIS because Ari had mentioned some rather displeasing features of her father. And how he had lied on the report to save her from her father, all this knowledge was met with stunned silence.

"Lucy in the sky with diamonds…"

Ziva stared out of the aeroplane window looking down on the Atlantic Ocean. Wondering whether they had found the letters she had left. A pitiful way to straighten her wrongs but she couldn't face Tony again, ever. She didn't know what hurt more, the fact he fell in love with "her" or the fact that he didn't tell her. Judging by the e-mail things had gotten serious. She didn't hate Jeanne, well not much. How could she? Tony had obviously neglected to tell Jeanne about her. Ziva sneered; it was obvious how much he cared about her. No one had ever cared about her, never. The rage burned fiercely inside her. Then she thought what she was going back to, would it be better than what she was running away from?

"And they call me happy go lucky…"

Abby rocked back and forth on her chair, less than two hours ago Gibbs had read out a letter that would change all their lives. It was so out of character for Ziva to run. She never ran away from life. Tony must have broken her heart, she didn't know how. Though that "how" must have hurt. She felt cold against her cheeks and reached up to find tears. Ziva and she hadn't got on well to begin with. Abby felt like Ziva was replacing Kate, if she had known about Ari and her, she would have been gentler. She looked out of her window; the world had seemed to have gotten slightly greyer…

"You raise me up…"

Tim stared at Ziva's desk; he hated to see it empty. Last time it had felt that barren it was after Kate d… He couldn't bring himself to think it. Ziva was always there for him. She wouldn't always take DiNozzo's side in an argument. On the days he felt like nothing he could do was right she would say everything was. When he thought he had shot a man she said she never doubted him. When his sister was accused of murder she spoke softly to him. Now he knew why, she had seen a sibling be wanted for death and more. She knew how much it hurt, if only he knew…

"Through the wind and the rain…"

Ducky stared at this autopsy room; so many memories had been created in this room. His mind flickered back to the day when he first met Ari. The way he shot Gerald, but most of all the way Caitlin had been totally numbed by Ari. She could have hurt him, killed him. Make it all end so the apocalypse wouldn't start. Something about his eyes was all Caitlin said. Maybe that was what Ziva feared, somebody noticing similarities in them. The same smile, or eyes, or face, the qualities siblings shared. My dear, Ducky thought. There was nothing ever similar between you and him.

"When you're empty but you're full…"

Gibbs let all the emotion out on a punch bag. Hitting it harder and harder till all the anger, grief and wrath had drained away, he blamed himself. Even though there was nothing he could have done to prevent this. He wondered how DiNozzo was taking this, hopefully he felt some lost. The rest of them were. His mind slipped from the activity at hand rested on what Ziva would face when she told her father the truth. From what he heard her Father was unforgiving and heartless. He prayed he wouldn't hurt her, and he prayed for her father's soul if Gibbs ever heard that he had hurt her.

"These words won't seem to heal…"

Tony stared at his computer, he felt numb inside and out. His mouth tasted bitter and he felt wrong. He couldn't believe that Ziva had done that, he wasn't wrong to tell her. Yet in the same way he wasn't right to tell. He felt tortured, like someone was slowly pulling every one of hairs out, one by one. Ziva had reacted much greater than he expected and now listening to that letter, he wondered if he raised a topic she wanted to forget. Tony knew everyone was avoiding him, he wondered whether they pitied him. He hoped not, for that was worse that anger.