Birth, and Rebirth 00: My Eyes Adored You
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Kim Possible and all the characters of the show are owned by the Disney Company. The original lyrics to the songs referenced in this story and the music are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels. All other characters can be blamed on the author (he, however, is not responsible for all of their actions at all times, being barely responsible for himself most of the time).
This is a strictly not-for-profit, just-for-fun work.
Enjoy! Please read and review.
A/N Forward:
This began as a thought in both the heads of cpneb and kt (of jakt). A few phone calls, some emails, and the idea came brought forth into production.
This joint project between cpneb and jakt is the direct result of the request from a certain eleven year old; resistance was futile, indeed, as one simple question became the opening of the Birth, and Rebirth arc.
cpneb will present the main story line, while jakt will presents other major components of the story as it is told.
"Let the adventure begin."
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Chapter 1: you were fifth grade; I was, too….
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'I am never forgetting the day' (sue me, I had Kim's Dad's taste in music: I like Tom Lehrer) I went on my first picnic lunch with Kim. I was so excited to go along. She had packed a picnic lunch and had placed me inside the basket with it. It was a day that I have never forgotten.
Kim and Walter were seated up on a grassy knoll overlooking a particularly lovely stretch of Middleton Park. The picnic basket sat next to them, the contents scattered about the ground around them. I sat on top of the picnic basket.
As I watched the pair, much of the time they had eaten in silence. Every so often Kim would look up at Walter and either frown or smile. He had the distinct feeling that they were having a conversation without a word being spoken or, for that matter, without him even being fully aware of what was being said.
The statement that she now uttered broke what was just about the longest silence of the afternoon.
"I hope Daddy wasn't too hard on you."
"Nothing I couldn't handle," he said easily. When he said that, she laughed in a manner that he found very peculiar. "Why did you laugh that way?"
"Well, it's the way you responded. I asked a question about how something made you feel. And your basic response was to make it clear that the situation was something within your control. Something that no boy has ever felt like after talking with my Father and his black-hole lecture to them."
He stared at her uncomprehendingly. "So?"
"So, not everything has to be defined in terms of whether you can handle it or not. Sometimes it's enough to acknowledge that a situation has occurred and that you're aware of it."
"That doesn't seem like it would accomplish all that much, Kim."
"Why not, Walter?"
He lowered himself onto the grass, propping up his head with one hand. "Just acknowledging that a sitch exists is rarely enough. You have to deal with it."
Kim loved it when Walter used the "sitch" word. In fact he had let her use it as her trademark expression from the first time he said it to her at school. She liked it so much the word had literally become a part of her permanent vocabulary. It was now a well established 'Kim word' at school these days and he let her take all the credit for it.
"That's not true. What about our parents' rules for dating? Didn't that tell you we're not to get that involved?"
"What it tells me is the preferred way of handling a particular type of sitch…namely one involving us like right here and now. But it still boils down to the idea that every sitch must be dealt with in someway…even if occasionally the method of dealing with the sitch is to keep our hands off each other."
"I see." She lifted the napkin off her lap and folded it carefully, replacing it in the other side of the picnic basket. "Is control very important for you, Walter?"
"Not letting things get out of control is very important, Kim. There's a difference."
"And what might that be?"
"The difference is that you can have a specific sitch with specific parameters…and as long as the elements within that sitch don't go beyond those parameters, then everything is fine. You don't have to do much beyond sitting back and letting things run their course. This is as opposed to having to be in control, where you are handling every element personally every step of the way. It's a bad way to live if you do. Shows a lack of ability to command and delegate."
Kim cocked her head slightly. "Do you think of everything in terms of command and delegate?"
"Not everything."
They looked at each other for a long moment, and Walter saw something in her emerald eyes…something that beckoned to him.
He reached across, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her to him. She fell to the ground with a startled cry of exclamation. For a moment he felt her body go limp against him, and he brought her face to his, pressed his mouth against hers. He felt something electric pass between them…
And, then, he felt her knee in the pit of his stomach.
Walter gasped and rolled away, clutching his belly and moaning softly. He came up gasping, and saw Kim smoothing out her dress, looking utterly composed.
He sucked in air gratefully and tried to force the pain to go away. Kim, for her part, reached into the basket and pulled out a brownie. "Dessert?" she asked, with a smile.
"Wh…why did you do that?" he managed to get out.
"Walter, why are you asking obvious questions?" She held out the brownie to him. "I mean, I'm not asking you why you mauled me just now. I think it's fairly self-evident. I think my reason for stopping you is equally self-evident. So tell me…do you still feel in control?"
"Not…particularly." The soreness was just starting to recede.
"Now you see…that's just how I felt a moment ago. Lovemaking, Walter, is when two people voluntarily decide to give control over to the partner. I wasn't voluntarily relinquishing anything. So I needed to reclaim it quickly."
"You …could simply have said no."
She frowned at him. "I did."
"No, you didn't"
"I distinctly remember-"
"You didn't. If you'd have said no, I'd have stopped." Slowly he sat up, still rubbing his sore middle. "That I can assure you."
Kim's eyebrows knitted together, a puzzled expression on her face.
"I was quite sure I…"
"You know what?" said Walter, pointing at her. "You may have thought you said it…but you didn't. And maybe that's because you didn't really want to. For a moment there, you weren't resisting. As a matter of fact, you were pretty darn encouraging. I'll tell you something, Kimberly Ann Possible, you're so certain that you know my mind. Well, I don't even think you know your own."
"Is that a fact?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, just answer me this…"
He waited for the question. "Yeah."
"Do you want the brownie or not?"
He shook his head in confusion. "That's the question?"
Even she looked puzzled by it. "Yes."
"No. No brownie, thanks. Between the filling meal and your knee, my stomach's pretty much finished for the afternoon."
"Okay. Fine then." Never taking her eyes off Walter, and regarding him with a very suspicious air…probably because she wasn't sure herself how he was making her feel…Kim ate Walter's brownie along with her own. Walter smiled inwardly but said nothing as he watched her eat.
Finally, he stated: "it's a shame you haven't got a mind of your own."
"I have a mind of my own," Kim shot back hotly, her temper flaring with her auburn ponytail blowing a bit in the wind. "It's hardly my fault if my feelings concur with that of my father, and mother now, is it?"
"You're right, you're right. I'm the poor dumb boy who barely understands what's going through his own head, and you're the all-wise cheerleader who knows everything. Does that pretty much cover it?"
Making a sound of frustration, Kim began shoving all picnic materials back into the basket. "This was stupid," she muttered partly to herself. "I don't know why I let myself be talked into this."
"Because you wanted to be talked into it."
"Oh, nonsense."
"You know what your problem is, Kim?"
"Yes. My problem is you."
"No." Walter drew himself closer to her and hunkered down in front of her. When she couldn't look at him, he took her chin in his hands and brought her around to face him. "Your problem is that you overanalyze everything. You are so darn used to studying feelings, and thinking about feelings, and contemplating feelings, that you have no idea of how to just go with feelings."
"And, you," she shot back, pushing his hand away, "can only go with feelings. You're going to be some hotshot famous guy some day. Someone who's incapable of studying a sitch and deciding what to do about it calmly and rationally. I bet you'll never ask anyone for their opinions. I bet you'll never look for suggestions. You'll just do what you want, when you want, on impulse, because your feelings tell you to do so, and you'll just drag people along with you, and heaven help them if you're wrong.
He sat back on his heels. He stared at her for a moment, then grinned like a lovesick 12-year-old. "You must really like me if you get that worked up over me."
"Oh, you're intolerable." She shook her head and her ponytail looked like a bullwhip striking out at a target…Walter.
She picked up the picnic basket with me and started to walk, her dress swishing around her knees. Walter got to his feet and walked along side next to us.
"And I bet you don't believe in love at first sight," he said challengingly.
She didn't even glance at him. "Now you're saying you love me?"
"No, I'm not saying that. I'm asking about the idea in principle. Do you believe in love at first sight?"
He fully expected that she would say no, so he was surprised when she slowly came to a halt and turned to look at him full in the face, her eyes large, thoughtful and beautiful.
Then she turned and walked off in another direction. Puzzled, he followed her.
The terrain got more steep and hilly, and she put down the picnic basket and used her hands to help pull herself up, with me in tow. He followed her, unsure of what was happening, but reluctant to say or do anything that would possibly stop her. He wanted to see what she was up to.
Eventually Kim reached what appeared to be a peak, and she sat down with me. Carefully, meticulously, she arranged her dress and sat me between her legs. Walter climbed up next to her, and his breath caught in his throat.
It was a stunning vista. The earlier view at the picnic paled in comparison. The sky was now a pale orange as the sun started to set and the high purple mountains in the distance stood as silent sentinels guarding all that was under their gaze. Long, untamed blades of green grass sprouted here and there, on the one hand appearing random, but on the other, adding to the overall look and feel of the place as if it had been carefully planned.
"I like to come here to think. It's one of my favorite places."
"What do you think about?"
"Love at first sight." She paused, then smiled. "Yes, I do believe in it."
"Well, now I must admit: I'm surprised. That's hardly the sign of a rational, non-impulsive mind. Love at first sight is the ultimate leap of faith."
"Nothing about it is particularly rational," she admitted. "I'd suppose you'd say my rationale is more romantic than anything else."
"And what's your rationale, may I ask?"
At first Kim said nothing, as if trying to figure out the best way to put her thoughts. "I think that, to some degree, all of us are fractured souls. Cut in half. And we wander through life looking for the rest of ourselves. And sometimes we're fortunate enough to meet someone who possesses, in themselves, the part of ourselves that we've been missing. We may not realize it on the conscious level, but definitely on a subconscious level. We see in someone else…something of ourselves."
She held her hands up in front of her, palms facing each other. "That's why sometimes you meet someone and you just immediately feel comfortable with them. You feel like you've known them all your life. The reason is that they're a part of you, and you're a part of them. You're soul mates. You…fit." She interlaced her fingers. "And once you've fit together, nothing can pull you apart unless you let go." She released her grip, drawing her hands apart.
"And how did you develop this…" Walter coughed politely. "This concept?"
She smiled gamely. "It seemed the most reasonable explanation for why my parents came together. I mean, no rational person would have seen them as any sort of workable couple. Yet my mother claimed that the moment they met they just…just knew." She shrugged. "So who knows?"
"But that's kind of sad, really."
"Why?" she asked, puzzled,
"Because, since you're such a rational type, if you ever met your 'soul mate,' you'd probably intellectualize him to death. How could any sort of pure romantic notion stand up to being rationally beat to death? You'd never follow your impulse."
"Love at first sight is hardly the sort of thing that happens all the time, Walter. My attitude is different than yours. You always follow your impulse. And you have good impulses, I'm sure, by and large. You're confident, and that's a requirement in your life. But it's not the kind of mind-set I'm used to. I doubt there's any sort of future for us."
He slid closer to her and then said, "Change me."
He spoke with such conviction and such certainty that Kim actually felt an unusual sensation…her cheeks were burning.
Walter noticed the flush in an instant and then said, using precisely the right tone, "I didn't read your mind just now: I hazarded a guess. All you did, just now, was confirm my assumption."
And he looked at her with such challenge in his eyes that he took her hand and squeezed it firmly…and his lips touch hers and then it happened…
Their braces locked, and they now found themselves in a sitch that they couldn't solve.
Unable to really talk, both knew what they had to do. They carefully got up and walked, lip-locked, back down the peak. Kim kept me in her right hand. I was the only real security that she had. She wasn't going to abandon me in her hour of need and I wasn't going to abandon her.
They made it all the way to the park without being seen and, as luck would have it, they came upon a lone familiar person swinging by himself on playground with his naked mole rat buddy. Seeing Kim and Walter in this position was rather embarrassing for him, but he quickly understood their predicament and placed a well-timed call to his mother. Ron accompanied them all the way to the orthodontist who, eventually, freed the lip-locked pair.
Ron's mother dropped Walter off at his home. Walter never said another word to Kim after that day for the time his family remained in Middleton. It was a trauma that would take almost five years to get over. For Kim it was a secret and embarrassment that she would keep buried, never talk about or write about in her journal.
Ron, on the other hand, was an unknown factor, and yet Kim trusted him, implicitly. As always the gentleman, he had his mother drive them back to the park, gathered up Kim's picnic basket, and had her home before dinner.
Walking Kim to the door he smiled. "Don't worry KP. I've sworn Mom to secrecy, and I'll never tell."
"I know, Ron. You're the best friend a girl could ever have." She turned and gave him the largest hug he ever had received from her. "Thanks for everything."
He blushed and slowly walked back to the car. He no longer felt alone like at the park. She had really acknowledged his existence as a friend; that made his heart feel good.
As Kimberly Ann Possible entered her home that night something imprinted on her heart. Ron Stoppable would always be there watching her back…anytime, anywhere.
She took me upstairs and placed me on my usual spot on her bed. "Thanks Pandaroo for being with me today. You're always there for me, just like Ron." And I would be, too, as long as she needed me.
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Author's afterward:
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A quick note from the story's protagonist:
I, Pandaroo, have authorized the following:
cpneb, to tell my story, what happened to me during Kim's graduation;
jakt, to write some of my more memorable stories about Kim and me, through the years.
A couple of quick notes: Kim will never admit it to anyone, but she loves the Frankie Valli song, and I like it, as well, so you'll see it referenced by my two storytellers, cpneb and jakt.
I have been on many of Kim's adventures around Middleton, and I thought that you might find some of these tales of interest; they were to me, at least, when they occurred. So, to quote an old Cuddle Buddy friend: "Let the adventure begin."
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Next, on Birth, and Rebirth 00: My Eyes Adored You
Kim hugged me all that night as she cried
"Why did he have to be such a jerk, Pandaroo?
"Why couldn't Walter have just kissed me on the lips, with his dang mouth closed?
"I was soo embarrassed," and she shed a tear or two more, then she grew quiet.
"Ron…he protected me.
"He didn't have to, but he did, anyway. And, he told me he would keep my secret, even from Daddy!
"He's so brave," she smiled, then laughed. "Of course, he hasn't gotten one of Daddy's 'black hole' speeches, either.
"Ron, boyfriend material?" she was silent for a moment. "Justine sure thinks so; she spends as much time as she can around him at recess, until the teacher runs her off to the rest of us girls.
"And, Ron doesn't even know," Kim tittered, and she laughed as she tossed me into the air and caught me, holding me tightly against her chest.
"He doesn't even know," she smiled, and I agreed with her as her cheek grew moist with her tears of loss.
'You don't know, either, do you, Kim?
'You don't have the slightest clue that either of us would give our lives for you.
'Seriously; that's how much he already loves you, Kim; as much as I love you.'
I wanted to reach up and touch her moist cheek, but a stuffed animal can't do that.
So, I just sat there as she cried for the love she thought she'd lost, and for the love she didn't even know she had.
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Next, on Birth, and Rebirth 00: My Eyes Adored You
Chapter 3 – I never laid a hand on you
Thank you, to all of you, for supporting us on this new journey.
Thanks again for reading, and please review.
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All Rights Reserved. Kim Possible Characters © The Walt Disney Company, USA.
9/9/2007
Idea by K.T. and cpneb. Story by K.T, J.A. and cpneb.
Thanks to cpneb for the beta. His suggestions and thoughts are timely and appreciated, as always.