How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you, I know you want me to want you
I want to, but I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

Three Cheers For Five Years - Mayday Parade

Chapter 5 - I Know You Want Me To Want You I Want To

"Maybe this is a good thing?" Harry said not believing the words coming from his own mouth. How could this be a good thing! Going on holiday with BLAISE was a good thing. Good enough that for the couple of days he had been there he hadn't minded Draco's presence.

THIS was in no way good. Being locked in a huge villa alonewith Draco Malfoy, the boy he hated since his first year at Hogwarts was not a good thing. The worst part of it was Malfoy seemed content in destroying Harry to a bundle of nerves, smiling at him, and faking being civil just to keep Harry on guard. Harry wasn't about the be taken for the fool, he wouldn't let Malfoy catch him off guard then kill him in his sleep.

Draco watched amused as the expression on Harry's face switched to that of great horror, to a small toddler trying to figure out a very difficult algorithm. As much as he enjoyed messing with Potter head, he knew that he needed to take advantage of the time alone he had with Harry. While Blaise was his friend, he did want Harry first and it seemed ludicrous that Blaise had taken this claim, or right, over Harry when originally the plan had been to use Blaise to get to Harry.

While Draco knew that if Harry was informed of what the plan was he would not appreciate that Draco had been using Blaise, and had used devious plans in order to get to Harry, Draco knew and accepted that was not a saint. He was in Slytherin after all. And it wasn't as if he was doing it to be cruel to harry, no that was the old him, he was doing this because as much as it destroyed his pride to admit it, he was in love with Harry Potter.

"Potter," He drawled, "I'm not going to bite you. I agree, we're not in school right now there's no reason why we can't be civil. Besides, Blaise manages to tolerate you, so I should be able to I suppose."

Harry was stunned, it was probably the nicest thing Malfoy had ever said to him, "Well right then, just, before we decide to let bygones be bygones, there's one this I need to know." With a nod from Draco he continued, "Why is it that you asked to be my friend? Remember? In first year on the train, besides Ron no one had ever wanted to be around me and you stunned me in asking, so, why me?"

"I thought it was obvious" Draco said contemplatively smiling to himself, "Ever since I was a little kid you were a household name, every parent wanted to have you as a kid, and every kid our age wanted to be you. At first I was incredibly jealous, thinking that you took away from my glory, which it made me less of a person because I never could do what you did. You cheated death, and it was never something anyone did or has since accomplished. But then I realized, having you as a friend would be equal. I grew up, while my father supported the dark lord, everyone around me idolized you. I did the same. So the first day I met you in Madam Malkin's I tried to give you my best first impression. I realize looking back on it I did the opposite, so when I offered my hand to you on the Hogwarts Express, it was my way of trying to compensate for the way I acted. I ruined any chance of us being friends. Besides the whole power, chosen one thing, when we met I really liked you, I wanted to be your friend." Draco finished, looking puzzled at his own words. "Why did you say no?"

"Because the only people that had ever liked me, Ron and Hagrid, you had managed to insult within five minutes of meeting me. All I saw was a snobby little boy. I had no idea you really felt that way, if I had known, I wished things had gone differently we might not have spent these years fighting and getting each other into shit." Harry said laughing in spite of himself.

"Yeah yeah, Harry don't get all sappy on me. Hakuna Matata lets put it behind us shall we?" Draco held out his hand,

"Of course" Harry reached out and clasped Draco's hand in his own. "Did I just really hear you correctly?" Harry's brain catching up with his ears, "ignore the fact that you called me by my real name, did you just say "Hakuna Matata" I didn't know you were a closet movie fan, it's somuggle and an American movie at that. It seems I've missed a lot in the past seven years." Harry couldn't help he began to giggle, soon progressing into outright laughter.

"Oh shove off, there isn't much to do while your parents are out building society" Draco said trying to sound affronted. Despite himself he began to laugh as well, it didn't help that Harry happened to have an adorable laugh. He just couldn't top grinning whenever he found himself talking to the dark haired boy.

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LATER THAT DAY:

The afternoon came, and Harry and Draco found themselves walking around the enormous vineyard situated in the backyard of Blaise's property. While Harry had always thought the Dursleys came from money it was clear things were different in the Wizarding World. If you tried you could fit nearly ten of the Dursleys houses in the vineyard alone, ignoring the rest of the land the house sat on.

"Can I ask you something? It's rather personal." Draco said, nervously tousling his hair.

"You just did ask me something." Harry said jokingly, grinning cheesily at Draco.

"Prat, Can I?"

"Mhmm"

"How involved exactly are you, with Blaise I mean. In terms of you know, sex and stuff? You don't have to answer, but I was just wondering"

Harry choked on air momentarily. He certainly was not expecting that. Why on earth would Draco be asking him such a thing? He couldn't be interested in BlaiseHarry thought. He didn't want to come between them since he was new to the picture, and Draco and Blaise had been friends since they were toddlers it didn't seem right.

"Uhm, well" Harry said still red in the face, "I haven't slept with him if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, Good...well I don't think you should"

"Why not"

"He's a slut"

"Draco"

"He uhm has herpes?"

"Wizards can't get herpes, how do you even know what that is pureblood?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea"

"Give me one good reason"

"Why? You weren't thinking of actually sleeping with him?"

"So what if I was? What's it to you"

"You cant!"

"Give me one good reason"

Draco knew he had reached the end; he needed to stop avoiding what was right in front of his face, and face his demons.

"I don't want you to sleep with him because of me."

"What about you? I'm not going to sleep with him in front of you"

"No it's not that don't you get it?"

"No, please explain it to me"

"It's me, I don't want you to sleep with him, its because of me."

"It has nothing to do with you, you and Blaise haven't slept together have you?"

"Are you fucking stupid Potter?!"

"I don't understand what else it could be! Why don't you wnt me to sleep with him? I understand you guys are friends and everything, and it might become weirder than it already is but I really thought we were starting to get along well, am I doing something wrong I just want us to be friends and I want to be with Blaise and I just don't get it what does it have to do with-"

Draco couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Harry by the shoulders and kissed him.

For a second, time stopped. Neither Harry nor Draco knew what was happening. Both stood frozen shell shocked as they tried to fathom, process the feeling of their lips against each other. It was unreal. Draco couldn't imagine anything being better than this.

The feeling of Harry's lips moving against him was like all emotion whirled together, and then exploding. Harry couldn't move at first, but when he snapped back to reality he tangled his fingers in Draco's hair and kissed him with a fervor that he'd never done with Blaise. Kissing Blaise was great, but kissing Draco could not even compare. Kissing Draco was like when he rode a broom for the first time, thrilling, exciting, and unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Harry knew it was wrong, but he didn't want it to end.

Eventually as it always does, time caught up with them and everything began moving once again.

"Because I'm in love with you, you idiot"

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"You're WHAT?" Harry asked stupidly, mouth agape. Harry had sworn Malfoy had said he lov- no, impossible. Why in a flying fuck would Malfoy EVER say he loved him, it didn't make any sense. Malfoy and Potter, they fit together perfectly- as ENEMIES.

Harry couldn't believe the thoughts racing through his head. How in the hell could Malfoy possibly sit there with that serious look on his face and expect Harry to take him seriously. The nerve of him, they had been friends for barely a day, and already Malfoy was back to his old tricks. If this was some plan to embarrass him it wouldn't work.

"Malfoy if this is some kind of sick joke it isn't going to work!" Harry said, I'll show himHarry thought, I'm not about to be played the fool by Draco Malfoy

Draco blushed embarrassed. This wasn't going the way he wanted at all. Potter was supposed to want him to, not take him as some sick fuck that would play a cruel joke on him, where on earth would Potter get that idea- Oh,It suddenly hit Draco, he still doesn't trust me. Why can't he accept that I want him that I'm in love with him?

Draco couldn't even meet Harry's eyes, "I said I love you, I'm not joking, and I do"

"How do you expect me to respond to that? What do you want from me?"

"I want you to want me; I want you to be with me, and not Blaise." Draco said mumbling under his breath.

"Draco," Harry started, "That's really sweet and all, but I'm with Blaise, and for the first time I feel genuinely happy. He's everything I could ask for, and more. I don't think of you as that. And, right now at this point in time, I'm happy and I don't really know what you want me to do..."

"I love you, Blaise doesn't deserve you"

Harry was starting to become slightly annoyed, "And you do? Even if Blaise and I didn't talk before this year he didn't TORMENT the past six years of my life. And I hate to say it's true, but Draco, you did. Six years is a long time, and what makes you think you can erase those six years, and think that you deserve me as much as he does?"

"He doesn't care about you how I do!" Draco said, becoming exasperated. "He doesn't want you like I do, he doesn't think about you, and love the person who you are like I do"

"And who are you to judge that Draco, I hate to do this, but I'm not going to be some competition going on between you and Blaise, and if you can't handle that then I don't really see how we can be friends anymore."

Harry stood up, and began to walk away, when Draco shot his hand up and grabbed Harry's wrist. "Wait" Draco pleaded, his silver eyes shining with desperation.

"You're right, I should be supporting you're relationship. I don't want to lose the work I've done to repair six years of wasted time, by being stupid because I care about you, a lot. I still want to be your friend, and I won't become you and Blaise anymore."

"I'm not going to make this easy for you Draco." Harry said, his voice firm, but something in his eyes made Draco know Harry forgave him. "I want you to mean this, our friendship. If you want to be my friend I want you to work for it not just pretend to."

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The Next Day:

Draco lay on his bed at Blaise's house moping. Blaise had come back earlier that day, taking any chance of him and harry spending time together and crushing it. Since Blaise had returned Harry and he had spent the entire day together, in the gardens, sitting on the couches together, in Blaise's room. Draco didn't even want to think about what was going on in the last one. He felt so stupid, embarrassed.

Draco knew that the reason Harry and Blaise were together was because Draco didn't have the courage to talk to Harry on his own. Thing's could have been so different if he hadn't gone and made that deal with Blaise. Blaise could never care about Harry the way Draco did. Blaise didn't want him he was doing this to piss Draco off. Blaise knew that when Draco saw Harry and Blaise together, the jealously that consumed Draco was overwhelming. That was the real reason he wanted Harry, and Draco knew it. It wasn't right.

If Harry had any idea what Blaise was doing to him, things would be so different. Then, like a ton of bricks it hit him. He could tell Harry, why would Harry want to be with Blaise when he knew that Blaise was just using to him to get to Draco. It was perfect.

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'Cause it's too hard, too hard. When you have lost control.
It was never as easy as it was, before you and I lost touch.
This might sound crazy, but I don't know
How to let you go. It's hard to keep on fighting,
When all you know is losing.

Assurance, Closure - Artist vs. Poet