Hey, you always seem to catch me when I'm lying about the stupidest of things.
Okay, sit here while I stab you in the back. I never, never, never should have taken this so far.
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink because you know you're deserving of it,
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep and think how you hate me so bad.
Believe Me I'm Lying-Forever the Sickest Kids
Chapter 6-- I Never Should Have Taken This So Far
Harry was laying a few feet away from the large fireplace in Blaise's living room. His head was resting in his boyfriend's lap, while Blaise's fingers were running lazily through his hair. It didn't seem possible for life to get any better than this. He had the perfect love, and finally after seventeen years of waiting it seemed as if his life was finally falling into place. The thought of Draco professing his love for him had not crossed his mind since the incident and in that moment with his gorgeous boyfriend staring adoringly down at him, Draco Malfoy was the last thing on his mind. Well, maybe second to last. Harry couldn't help but wonder what had changed between him and Draco that deluded Draco enough to think that he loved Harry.
Nobody had ever told Harry they were in love with him. Blaise said that he loved him, but had never said that he was in love with him. Draco's feeling so strongly about him couldn't help but hold a place in Harry's head. It was rather a fetching idea, he didn't know Malfoy cared, and he did seem different. At the same time, six years of history didn't go away quickly. He was finally happy where he was, and had no intention of changing it. Blaise's voice interrupted Harry's thoughts.
"Harry?" Blaise began tentatively, "Could I ask you something, without you over thinking it or being offended"
Harry lifted his head off of Blaise's lap and turned over to rest his head in his arms and knees bent behind him. "Okay?" Harry prompted
"You know I love you right?"
"Of course I do, that was the question?"
"No, do you love me?"
"I think I do, was that the question?"
"No, just one more before I ask you, do you think you're in love with me?"
"I think I could be." Harry said seriously.
"I think I'm in love with you," Blaise started, "No, I don't think, I just want to say it, so that you hear it, I love you."
"Could I tell you something?"
Blaise nodded.
"I think, I'm ready for, you know." Harry said blushing.
"You mean?"
Harry nodded.
Blaise kissed him. It wasn't how he normally did. It was soft, but at the same time urgent, if not needy. He grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him onto his lap. He put one arm around the small of Harry's back and the other threaded through his hair. Blaise slowly trailed his tongue over Harry's bottom lip before biting down softly, harry gave a soft moan. Using it as an opportunity, Blaise slipped his tongue into Harry's open mouth and put his hands on either side of Harry's face, cradling it.
"I love you" Blaise said staring into Harry's eyes.
Harry kissed him; Blaise could feel the smile stretch across his boyfriends face as Harry whispered, only inches away from Blaise, "I love you too."
Harry stood up, stretching and held his hand out to Blaise. Grinning like a Cheshire, Blaise accepted Harry's hand and followed as Harry began to walk towards the stairs. Half way up, Blaise snaked his arms around Harry's waist, and whispered in his ear, "come on, lover boy." He scooped up Harry into his arms and practically ran to his room before throwing Harry onto the large bed and crawling on after him.
Harry reached his arms up pulling Blaise down on top of him. Their bodies flush against each other; Harry kissed him, his hands roaming up and down Blaise's side, down his back, anywhere he could reach. Blaise shifted off of him, "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered and pulled Harry with him so that they were facing each other kneeling on the bed. "You won't" Harry assured his eyes shining. Blaise reached his hand out to stroke his hand across Harry's face before reaching for the hem of Harry's shirt and pulling it slowly over his head, "you are so pretty" Blaise said, kissing Harry, as he unbuttoned his own shirt. They were both shirtless; Blaise laid back and pulled Harry down on top of him, kissing his way down Harry's neck, stopping to suck on the spot above his collarbone, leaving a bright red mark as he continued to ravish Harry's neck. Harry was moaning, and Blaise wasn't sure he had ever heard a sound more arousing. Harry was keening, rubbing his lower half against Blaise's aching for more contact than just their cocks rubbing through their jeans. Hesitantly he reached down, and began to undo the loops of Blaise's belt.
"Wait," Blaise said breaking off from Harry's neck, and pausing to stare at him.
"What!" Harry cried, louder than he had intended to.
"Are you sure about this, I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
"I trust you." Harry said confidently, not sure if he had ever said anything with more truth and conviction.
Harry picked up one of Blaise's large hands and held it in his own. He guided their hands down to Blaise's belt and finished undoing it, Blaise got on his knees momentarily to slide his jeans off before doing the same to Harry. They both sat there, now only in their boxers staring at each other breathing heavily. "I want this," Harry said surely, "I want you."
Harry crawled over and kissed Blaise removing their boxers, he grabbed Blaise's cock and held it in his hand, moving his fist up and down the length of it, his other hand lightly fondling his balls, whilst Blaise was holding and kissing him sensually.
Blaise grabbed his wand from the bedside table momentarily and muttered a charm. He laid Harry down on the pillows again the headboard and using two of his fingers, slowly pushed into Harry. Harry cried out in pain for a split second before closing his eyes, with his mouth slightly open, sighing. "I hope I'm not hurting you too badly." Blaise said, "It'll get better in a second." He moved his fingers in and out searching for the spot he was looking for. His fingers curled, and guessing from the loud "OH" Harry let out, he was guessing he'd found it. He angle again, and Harry let out a louder moan, "Are you okay?" Blaise asked. "I'm amazing" Harry said, his voice low and husky. "I want you, all of you,now." Blaise pulled his fingers out and casting another lubrication charm he slowly pushed into Harry. At first, the burning sensation Harry felt was almost unbearable. His face was etched in pain, Blaise stopped, "Harry, love, are you okay?" "I'm-fine-"Harry breathed, "Just don't move yet please." Blaise still leaning over Harry, his arms on either side of his head, waited for what seemed like an eternity before Harry whispered quietly, "I'm okay, go." Blaise began to move slowly pumping in an out of Harry. The heat surrounding him felt unreal. Harry felt amazing, "ugh, you're so fucking tight, baby, you're so amazing. I love you so much." Harry could do nothing but moan in agreement, after the initial discomfort he got lost in the feeling of being so close, so intimate with Blaise, he couldn't get enough. He pulled Blaise closer, kissing him his tongue weaving in and out of Blaise's mouth, his fingers threading through his boyfriend's long locks, never wanting to let go. "I don't think I can last much longer," Blaise said, rocking his hips back and forth. "You're just so amazing," he said with a grin, kissing Harry quickly. "I don't know how much longer I can last either", Harry said arching his back and moving his hips up and down to match the timing of Blaise's thrusts. Moaning, he ran his fingers through his own hair, as his breathing labored and came in harsh sighs and pants. They came at the same time, both shaking, letting out short breathy gasps and moans.
Blaise rolled off of Harry, laying face up on the bed his hair pressed damply to his forehead. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and curled him into his chest. "Are you alright?" He leaned forward and whispered into Harry's ear. "I'm fine," Harry said stifling a yawn.
"Blaise laughed, and kissed the side of Harry's neck, "I wore you out, I'm sorry," he said, but he was grinning from ear to ear.
"I'm not sleepy." Harry said indignantly, but Blaise could hear his breathing become slower as Harry drifted off into sleep.
"Love you." Blaise said, as he flicked his and to shut the curtains.
"I love you too," Harry said sleepily.
They both drifted into sleep, Harry's mind racing with memories of Blaise, he'd never felt more content than in that moment.
HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHP
I've never told a lie and that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet, but we gamble with desire.
I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire,
But recently the flames are getting out of control.
Jasey Rae- All Time Low
HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHPDMHP
Harry woke up to a light shining across his face. Sitting up blearily and rubbing his eyes, he looked to the drawn curtains for the sources of the light. In the crack between the curtains he heard a small tapping noise. An owl sat perched on the balcony walls tapping its talons against the window. Harry got up and stretched, not realizing how sore he had been before. He winced as he stood up and pulled on a pair of sleep pants before walking towards the window to let the owl in. Harry reached out to unlock the window when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist causing him to jump back in fright.
"Jesus, you scared me" Harry said, swearing under his breath. He turned around to stare into the gorgeous eyes of his gorgeous boyfriend his heart skipping a beat.
"What are you doing up so early." Harry playfully pushed Blaise back a few steps, "Go back to bed, I'll be there soon."
"Why are you up so early" Blaise murmured into Harry's hair, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pulling him in closely.
"There's an owl at the window, you look exhausted love," Harry chided playfully, "Go back to bed."
Blaise turned around and crawled back into the large bed, settling himself underneath the covers and resuming his rest. Harry turned and let the owl in, it swooped down and dropped a thick envelope at his feet. The handwriting looked familiar, but he couldn't seem to place it. Harry opened it up and read.
Harry,
In writing this letter I hope that you could even capture a glimpse of how sorry I am. For the past seven years whether or not I acknowledged it my life has revolved around you. I hate you so much when we first met. All I ever wanted was to be your friend and you turned me down, it had never happened before. I created seven years worth of hate and drama because I was a snobby little brat who couldn't get over myself. I never really hated you. I loved everything you stood for, the fact that you made me want to be a better person than I was. You made me want to not follow in my father's footsteps. To try and be for once, a good man. It took me a long time to admit it to myself, but I've always wanted to be near you. Even if it meant hating you, to have that connection was always a constant in my life. I could never imagine hurting you, the thought of hurting you as I used to kills me. I'm afraid that before I can be totally honest with myself and you, there's something you need to know. I'll be the first to admit to anyone that I'm selfish. I want what I want and I get what I want. Unfortunately, I wanted you. While I love you, and love the fact that I want you as badly as I do, I hate that I was selfish enough to do what I did. I thought that at the beginning of the year, you didn't want anything to do with me. I doubt you would have taken my professing my love to you well. So I needed someone, something to get close to you. Blaise has been my best friend since we were in nappies. However, recently it's gotten to the point where he's wanted me in ways that I haven't wanted him. Harry, this is so difficult for me to say, and I can deal with the fact that you will never speak to me after this, but I used Blaise to get to you. I wanted you so badly, I told him that if he grew close to you, and gained his trust then I would finally give him what he had been wanting, me. He could never care about you in the way that I do. I thought that if he seduced you, then you would have to get along with me, and maybe one day we could evolve into something more. I never expected you to become so infatuated with him. And every day that I see you together, you looking at him with adoration in your eyes, it kills me to know that he doesn't feel the same way. In a way Blaise and I both used you, you were the ticket to what he wanted, me. I never was going to let him win, and it killed me to seeyou want him the way you did. And the way that he used you. And then the other day when I saw how much you loved him, and how you were considering sleeping with him, it killed me to know he would never feel the way you did. It killed me tenfold to know that you didn't care about me the way you cared about me. I hope you know now how I feel, and I'm sorry I took you for granted. When we get back to school I will never speak to you again, if that is your request. I hope you make the right decision concerning Blaise, as he'll never care about you as much as I do. I'm sorry I let this get so far, I love you, and never wanted any of this to happen. It kills me to think of how hurt you are after reading this letter. I was selfish, and wanted, and always will want you as my own using whatever means necessary. I love you.
Love Always,
Draco
Harry saw red. His face grew hot, then seemed to ice over. His hands clenched at the letter in his hand as he turned slowly to see Blaise.
Harry couldn't even speak, he felt disconnected from the rest of his body. Part of him felt the tears running down his face, the other was just there floating. He felt as if he was having an out of body experience. Harry held out the letter,
"Read" he said, shaking now his eyes directed pointedly to the floor.
Blaise took the letter his eyes scanning the pages slowly, when he finished he looked up his expression unreadable.
"I don't really know what you want me to say," Blaise said grinning sheepishly.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WANT YOU TO SAY. HOW ABOUT HE'S WRONG, IT NEVER WAS A BET! THAT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME AND NOT JUST HAVE DONE ALL OF THIS FOR FUCKING MALFOY, MAYBE THAT YOURE NOT A FUCKING LIAR?!"
Blaise stood there, staring at a very fascinating spot on his rug, "Harry, I am so sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I shouldn't have used you."
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE. YOU NEVER WANTED ME DID YOU? I WAS SOME FUCKING TOY TO KEEP YOU BUSY WHILE YOU WAITED FOR DRACO"
Harry dropped to the floor hugging his knees to his chest, sobbing into his hands. "How could you do that to me? I loved you, how could you stare at me every day and hurt me so badly."
"I didn't want to hurt you, you wanted me and who was I to refuse?"
"A NICE GUY WOULD HAVE REFUSED, I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU" Harry screamed his eyes wild, face bright red with tears running down his face, "I FUCKING SLEPT WITH YOU ZABINI, AND YOU FUCKING PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL. DID THESE PAST 5 MONTHS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?"
"No' Blaise said coolly, finally meeting Harry's eyes, unperturbed by the anguish etched across Harry's face.
"I slept with you," Harry said shaking his head, "He told me not to, I should have listened to him. You fucking asshole, you never cared about me. All those times you told me you loved me meant nothing to you did they?"
Blaise didn't answer. "DID THEY!?" Harry asked again.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you feel ANYTHING for me." Harry asked, his anger subsided leaving tears still streaming down his face.
"I can't. I don't. I never did. I used you and I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say. Draco wanted you, and I used you to make him upset because he NEVER wanted me. What the fuck do you want me to say Potter? That I loved you? Get over it, you were one of those games Draco and I liked to play, and you lost."
"I slept with you." Harry said sadly, shaking his head. "I can't believe I fucking wasted myself on you. I slept with you"
Blaise smirked, lifting his hand and tracing the outline of Harry's jaw. He leaned in closely to Harry, his mouth almost brushing Harry's lips, "It's okay, you weren't bad, for a virgin anyways."
"Fuck you," Harry spat, reaching his fist back and slamming it into Blaise's jaw, sending him flying back to hit the wall. Harry grabbed his wand and flicked it in Blaise's direction, causing Blaise to scream loudly, as angry slashes appeared on each of his forearms. "I can't believe I ever wanted anything to do with you." Harry said sadly, he took off the bracelet Blaise had given his for Christmas and handed it back to him, "take it back, it's no good to me." Harry studied Blaise's face for a moment. It was void of any emotion. Blaise stared back at him unable to speak. "Harry, I'" Harry held up his hand, biting his lip to stop the tears from coming "Save it Zabini, I don't want to hear it. I really hope those games you play are worth it." That was the last thing Harry said, before turning on his heel, and walking away.
We had it all in front of us, you were the one
I was in love, but you always hurt the one you lost.
I couldn't get enough. You were everything that's bad for me
Make no apologies, I'm crushed....black and blue
But you know I'd do it all again for you
All Again For You-We The Kings