Hello! Once again to all the lovely lovely people who have been reading my fanfic – I'm Back! Hooray!
Please keep with this story – I'm going to continue with it now.
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Jason felt numb. Sat with his head in his hands, eyes clenched against the bright white linoleum of the hospital corridor. Despite the tension that usually existed in hospitals – the rollercoaster of emotions that were experienced here everyday – this place was vacuous. Jason didn't know how long he'd been there, just sitting, replaying the accident over and over in his head. He could have gone in and sat by Nicky's bed hours ago, but just couldn't bring himself to walk the final few steps…couldn't walk through that door and see her lying there…
He'd watched her as she'd looked at him, she'd known what was happening a split second before it did; and yet what Jason couldn't get over, was the look on her face – it had been fear. Fear, such an obvious response to the situation and yet made Jason sick to his stomach when he thought that she was terrified and he had just stood there.
It had been a delivery van, coming to drop off early editions of the newspapers. The driver had screeched to a halt, and thrown himself out the van to see what the damage had been. Jason had had him on the ground in seconds demanding who he was; when satisfied that this guy wasn't a leftover from their Treadstone days, had released him and gone over to Nicky. Blood had been pouring from a cut on her head; Jason had quickly and expertly examined her injuries – she had a few broken ribs, and a collapsed lung from the sound of her laboured breathing; other than that, nothing else appeared broken. It was only when they had been brought to the hospital that he had learned the amount of internal damage that had been done. Nicky had been rushed straight into surgery and had only been wheeled out 6 hours later.
Jason had spent the entire time staring at the wall opposite him; not quite believing that this was happening again. Sat in the empty hallway he was confronted with it – that however much he'd try to deny it, David Webb was being resurrected and along with him were feelings for his Nicky. Sat there Jason wanted to run, vomit, scream and hit something, the feelings had become so intense that he felt like he drowning.
Nicky had been out of surgery about an hour, Jason hadn't moved from his spot – couldn't bring himself to cross the threshold into her room. Something was stirring in his memory, swirling in the mists of the forgotten: this was so familiar, they'd been here before. Jason squeezed his eyes shut, for once desperately avoiding a recollection.
Then he had heard it – a small gasp. Forgetting his trepidation, he dashed into the room to find Nicky looking at him with tears in her bruised eyes.
'I'd thought…I – you weren't here. I…' tears splashing onto her cheeks. He came and sat by her. The surgery had successfully repaired her collapsed lung, but her spleen had been too badly damaged and had been removed. Her face had been badly cut and bruised, her left arm broken, a few broken ribs, and a dislocated right knee; considering the force of the impact, it was amazing that she'd only sustained the injuries she had.
They stared at each other for an age, neither wanting to speak and both knowing that they had reached the point when answers would have to come. Nicky looked away staring at the ceiling, tears rolled down her cheeks as she bit the inside of her cheek in a futile attempt to stop. Jason didn't move from his position, watching her as she cried, wanting to reach out to her but knowing they were a planet apart – he was Jason Bourne, he couldn't comfort, couldn't show compassion – he wasn't programmed for that.
So here they were, two people in a hospital room, both desperately needing each other and yet neither having the courage to reach out.
'You're the reason I joined Treadstone aren't you? Something happened between us – I remember that something was driving me through the Treadstone training.' He stared at her as she gulped in cold air, trying to control herself. Eventually she stopped hiccupping
'I can't tell you – I can't, I'm not strong enough. You'll leave me all over again and – and I-I. Oh God!' Nicky sobbed and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and she cried harder then ever. Without realising it Jason had taken her hand. He stared at there entwined hands in surprise, but didn't pull away, Nicky calmed at his touch and they stayed there for another few hours in silence, until both fell asleep – their hands clasped.
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