First thing first, thank you to CrewsZen. She is the fabulous editor, beta, cheerleader who is a fabulous writer herself. Go check out her story, The Kitty Kat Killer. It makes me very jealous that I am not that creative. No seriously go read itandreview it people.

Full disclosure, I miss Tidwell. God that was painful. There is a companion piece to this chapter. It is called "Life is to Love as the Captain is to Death" I wrote it because Tidwell deserves his own final say, with one of my other favorite heroines of fiction.

Also there are bad words, some salty language.

Don't own Life. Also I hope everyone has Tweeted to get Life on USA.

Greed

Charlie never thought of himself as an idiot.

But at this moment he decided to pretend that the woman he was sitting behind was his and that they were going to have a baby. That she had not lost her fiancé three months before, that Tidwell had not died in her lap while trying to free her. That she did not almost have a nervous breakdown in the days following his death. That the man had made him godfather of his child, minutes before his death. A man who he should have knocked out or fought back harder against when it was obvious he was going to do anything to be in that house. Yeah, he was slightly an idiot.

The substitute Lamaze instructor walked over and grabbed Charlie's hands.

"You should really be touching your wife. Let her feel the love and the baby will feel the love."

Charlie gave a strained smile and nodded his head. At the same time his eyes tried to warn the woman that she should back away. Dani does not like new people and she just got used the instructor. He hoped his eyes expressed the fear she should feel. The instructor gave a strained smile and walked away, maybe he was telepathic.

Forty minutes later Charlie was helping Dani up from the floor. That's when the substitute instructor walked up again. Hopefully she was coming up to just say good night.

"Hello, I know I am intruding and we've only been together for this one session but well I could not help but notice how tense the two of you seem. I just want to recommend that you do something together to help relieve all this stress."

"Thank you," said Charlie. "We're just all new to this."

"Oh that's wonderful, well it can be a nice warm, not hot, but warm bath, a sensual massage or an orgasm."

Charlie was right; this woman was insane, had a death wish and he had not gained any powers. He looked over to see if he needed to restrain Dani, her face was completely neutral.

"Well thank you for those suggestions we'll take them under consideration," she said.

"Oh okay well have a good day."

The substitute instructor walked away. They both just sort of looked at one another, Dani shook her head and walked away.

They got into Reese's car and she started driving. Charlie pulled out his orange juice and was drinking it when Reese did something he rarely heard, she initiated conversation.

"Well that was interesting, what the sub said. I mean I can't do the baths thing, I can barely get up from the couch. A massage is really not my thing; however an orgasm does sound good."

Charlie forgot how to swallow in that moment and started coughing on the orange juice.

He turned to look at her, she was smiling. Was she teasing him? She then smiled. She was teasing him.

"Well I could help you out," now it was her turn to look at him, "Not with the last thing, I mean I could and it wouldn't be a partner issue since you're gone and you are still very attractive Reese, more than ever in fact. I could still help though I wouldn't have a problem with it, I'd be more than…" he was babbling, he needed to just make his point and shut up.

"Dani, if you need anything at all," he said, finally collecting his thoughts. "I'm always here for you and the little guy."

"Thanks, Crews. And really…anything?"

"Yeah…yes?" Wait was she serious about the last thing? Would he look a little to eager if he got nude right there in the car? Play it cool, Crews.

Twenty minutes later, Charlie was on his knees making Dani Reese moan, pant and ask for more.

"Oh yeah right there," said Dani.

"Hold on a sec my knees are starting to hurt," said Charlie readjusting his position. "So do you want me to—,"

"Just harder but remember no talking."

Charlie looked back down at her feet, they were so small, with high arches, but according to her they were swollen and disgusting. He continued kneading the arch of her foot, going back to the heel and then her ankle which was prickly with hair, he paused briefly.

"I can barely get up do you think I can shave my legs?" said Dani to the unspoken question.

Charlie looked up to see that Dani was staring at her belly, her hand resting on the top. It was the most beautiful sight he would ever see, for the second time that night he was a slightly an idiot.

-----

With Dani's due date approaching, Charlie was getting more nervous and except for that day a few weeks ago when he pretended to be the husband and father, he was just the supportive partner.

He talked to Ted about it but he was somewhat occupied by Olivia who had shown up one day and seemed to have never left.

So one day while on a fruit run for Dani he called the man who he blamed for this predicament he found himself in.

"Bodner."

"Hello, this is Charlie Crews."

"Hey Detective Crews, it's been awhile."

"How have you been?"

"Good thanks for asking. How about you, how's the wife and kids?"

"All good. So how's your partner doing with everything?"

"She seems to be doing as well as can be expected."

"Good. So how can I help you, Detective?"

"You told me that you and your wife used to be partners, right?"

"Yes."

"So what happened there? Did you ask her out or—"

"How long have you been in love with Detective Reese?" asked Bodner.

"Am I that obvious?" Charlie was not just asking Bodner but himself.

"Um, Charlie?"

"Probably since the day you told me about how you met your wife and it got me thinking about Dani."

"Yes and you have never said anything?" said Bodner.

"No, there was Tidwell after the Roman stuff and I thought maybe for a second. Then the baby, then he died and now I'm doing all the stuff that he should be doing and it's really hard not to just keep falling into this. You know?"

"No, I don't, what you have there is a very strange situation. And I thought sitting in the back of my mini-van watching cartoons while hunting down a living dead man was strange. Is your life always like this?"

"Yeah not really helping."

"You were calling for advice?"

"It would be appreciated."

"Hell I asked Alice out for drinks and that was it. It was hard enough and with you living in, 'One Life to Live' world well really I… I think you should tell her but I have no idea, each situation is unique. And yours is really unique."

The FBI agent was silent for a few moments. Charlie checked to see if he lost the signal.

"The best thing I can tell you to do is…"

Bodner's advice was cut off by an incoming call signal. Charlie looked down to see it was Dani.

"Hold on one sec, it's Dani."

"Hey, Reese."

"Crews, get the fuck over here with your high powered car, I'm having contractions."

"Yeah sure, but I'm at the stand so it'll take me 30."

"Are you a cop? Use the fucking siren!"

"I'll be there in 20."

"HURRY!"

Crews clicked over to Bodner as he ran out of his house.

"Listen she's going into labor I have to go pick her up. What were you saying?"

"I was just saying to watch for the signs, this is delicate. Also which hand do you write with?"

"My right."

"Give her your left otherwise she might break your hand. Good luck."

"Thanks," he said getting into his car and hanging up.

He managed to get to her house in 15, with the siren going and pushing the limits the engineers had probably set up when they designed the car.

They made it to the hospital in 10 and her water broke as they were signing in. There was going to be slight delay until Dani went through a contraction that caused the Boy and Girl Scout Troops that were taking a hospital tour to ask their leaders what the words, 'cocksucker', 'douchebag', 'insufferable cock' and 'shit faced fucker', meant.

Charlie with the wave of a checkbook got them a private room; where Dani was currently berating him.

"Crews, if you look below the belt, I swear to God I will find my service weapon and shoot you. NOW GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!"

Charlie looked straight ahead, took his position on her right side making sure to give her his left and started encouraging her.

"Yeah, Reese you can do this, you are doing great."

"Shut up."

"Come on lets breathe, hoo hoo hee remember hoo hoo hee."

"Fuck you, shit for brains. Let me know when your penis is expanding to push out a fucking watermelon."

"They all say that," said the tall nurse.

"Really that?"

"Well something along those lines."

"Alright now let me see Dani," said the doctor.

The contraction had passed, Dani Reese started groaning and crying, not in pain but in sadness. Shit. Charlie had no idea what to do, he was prepared for the anger, hell he was sort of amused. He was not prepared for doubting Dani.

"I can't do this Charlie," said Dani.

The last time she had called him that had been during the days after the wake and funeral. She had not picked up her phone so Charlie went to go check on her. She was not at home, he called Puryer, she gave him the coordinates. Dani was sitting on a beach crying and said, "I can't do this Charlie," as soon as he walked up.

He called in sick and just sat with her on the sand. She leaned into him, she was so warm against his side and ended up falling asleep. They lay curled up in the sand; he eventually wrapped her up in his suit jacket and carried her back to his car. He had one of Puryer's guys drive her car back.

When she figured out that she had Puryer's team as her shadow she got pissed off and had him take the security detail off her back. Her anger made her sadness take a backseat. He was trying to figure out if he could piss her off again like that.

He was back in the moment. He tried grabbing her hand again.

She avoided his hand and grabbed the rail.

"What can I do?"

"Just get me some water," she said, her voice sounding defeated. Charlie walked away from her bedside to the sink across the room. He filled the plastic jug and turned around just in time to see something he had never seen. Ever.

Charlie Crews had seen many things in his life, but for some reason in his private high school they had never chosen to show 'The Miracle of Life' to boys. He had seen blood, at first when he was a beat cop, his own; quite a bit of his own when he was in prison and a lot as a detective. So when he caught a look of what, 'The Miracle of Life' really looked like he thought he handled it pretty well until he tried to walk.

He went down like a ton of bricks.

He would have been happy to know that by accidentally seeing her below the belt, Dani Reese had snapped out of her sad mood back to pissed off at him.

Charlie woke up to a nurse holding up her hand, a wet cloth across his forehead.

"Alright, Mr. Crews, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two."

"Mr. Crews, do you know where you are?"

"The hospital, because Dani is in labor."

"That's right," said a voice by the doorway.

Charlie turned his head and saw, Dani who was just outside the room.

"Should you be up?"

"I'm trying to move the labor along. I've walked up and down this hallway a few times," she said. "You've been out for awhile."

For a second there Charlie could have sworn she sounded concerned.

"Besides, jackass, I told you not to look."

And now it was gone.

"Trust me it was purely accidental," he said.

"Sure, Crews…oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, another contraction, shit, shit, shit," said Dani as she doubled over in pain.

"Dani, I'm going to need you to get back in bed," said the doctor.

"Give me a second doc!" said Dani from the doorway.

"Sherri, could you help Dani?"

"I'm fine, I'll do it," said Charlie who got up and felt a slight head rush.

"Are you sure? That's not such a good idea." asked the tall nurse, Sherri.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm so glad you're fine but could someone get over here and help me?!" said Dani still in the middle of a contraction.

"Oh yeah," said Charlie.

"Mr. Crews," said the doctor.

"I'll be fine," said Charlie and gave a look that was perfected in the yard.

"We'll I'm— oh shit! I don't care just get over here," said Dani.

Charlie looked around his eyes dared anyone to protest. He walked over then swept her up carrying her across the threshold.

The next thirty minutes would be some of the most vivid and memorable of Charlie Crews's life.

He can briefly remember parts of conversations, joking, ahhing, ohhing, cooing. But the main thing he remembers is the feeling of love when he met Kevin Jayne Reese. Something that when later asked about by Kevin he would only be able to say was the feeling of everything good in one moment. That he loved him immediately.

The moment was broken when later standing at the nursery viewing room he looked in seeing Kevin sleeping peacefully.

A man stood there chewing on a cigar.

"Here man," said the guy pulling out another cigar from his front pocket. "So boy or girl?"

"Boy. Kevin," said Charlie pointing at the little guy fourth row center.

"Girl. Veronica," said the guy pointing at a little one third row. "She's my second."

"First. Actually my partner…"

"Oh you did surrogacy? My younger brother and his husband just did that, twin boys. I don't think they really sleep anymore."

Charlie couldn't help but smile.

"No," he said, "I'm a cop, my partner, this is her kid, I'm just the godfather."

"Hey, godfather is still an important role. We pick the kid's godparents based on who would I want replacing me. But that's just me and the wife."

Besides you get the best part, all the fun parts of raising the kid with none of the dirt. Just have fun," said the man.

Charlie had to get away from this man.

"It was nice meeting you," he said shaking the guy's hand.

Charlie walked down the hall and knew he could not see Dani like this, he walked into the stairwell and let the door shut behind him. He started pacing like a caged tiger. He was not sure how he felt. He was happy that Kevin had arrived safe, healthy and wonderful. He was happy that Dani seemed happy, healthy and wonderful. But that not being there for the dirty part tore into his heart more than he thought it would. He wanted to be there for the dirty parts. Not just because of Dani anymore. He loved this kid.

Shit, he had told Dani just before her final push as she was yelling, sweating, angry about the pain, he had told her how platypus and echidna were the only mammals that did not have live birth. How they produced eggs. She had only given him one of those looks she saved for him and then swore as another contraction hit. He had forgotten about saying that, his fact he would save for his wife. It was so natural to say that then. For that moment he was the husband, he was the father and that guy back there with the cigars, a real father, had broken that.

He really hated the man who killed Tidwell at the moment. If Tidwell had been here for the past few months Dani would not have been on the beach curled up in his arms, Kevin kicking Charlie. He would not have done the midnight runs for sherbet and mangos. He would not have been there for hundreds of other little things, which built up to make Charlie want to be there even more for the dirty parts. If only Tidwell was here. Charlie would have nursed his heart, he would have let it go, he would have been fine, they would be a family, he the loving godfather looking forward to the fun stuff and he would not be in this mess.

You lying bastard, said a sly voice. Keep telling yourself that, Chuckles. You would still want her, you probably set it up. You knew Tidwell had to get in there and yet somehow you, who killed Roman in one blow, could not restrain one loudmouth out of shape pig? You want it all and you let the guy die. Really did he have to die, Chuckie Boy? Couldn't you just let the man have his family? You are not just a liar, you are a greedy bastard. You fucking sicken me.

He had to get out of there, so he ran, he felt his legs burning, his heart was pounding in his ears, he would probably be sick once he stopped. He saw the door and pushed hard, the door flew open into the night air, he emerged onto the hospital roof looking up at the night sky.

"FUCK YOU!" he yelled up at the night sky, yelling at himself, the voice, god, God, Tidwell, the universe, he was pissed off.

Charlie turned around and punched the heavy metal door he just ran through. The pain bringing him back to his reality he could hear footsteps approaching.

"Hello?"

Charlie turned around to see the tall nurse, Sherri, standing there.

"Um…well fancy meeting you here?" she said with a weak smile, looking briefly at his hand. "Do you need me to take a look at that?"

Charlie held up his hand and could see blood was coming out of two cuts by his knuckles.

"Yeah, thanks."

She walked forward and picked up his hand looking it over, "How about we go back to the OB-GYN floor and I'll fix it up there."

"I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I think you hurt the door more," she said nodding to the slight indent left in the door. "Come on follow me."

She opened the door and Charlie followed her down and into an empty room next to Dani's. His fingers were starting to throb.

She patted the bed and he sat down, she pulled up a stool and started looking at his hand.

"Do you mind if I ask why you decided to yell into the night and assault a door?"

"Do you think the universe is making fun of us?"

"All the time, Charlie," she said not looking up at him. "So?"

"Why would the universe make fun of us?"

"I don't know, maybe it's just the universe. Once again, Charlie what caused you to curse the night sky and punch an inanimate object? Does it have to do with Dani?"

She looked up and Charlie tried to school his face into something indifferent.

"Nurses know all the stories of our patients, that's why I like being a nurse, I get to know my patients. Yeah like now I have to pull the occasional double like today but other than that the connections are nice. By the way I think two fingers are out of place.

"Let me guess… you feel guilty that the father is not here. Knowing cops you guys always blame yourselves. That's not just it though; you're in love with her."

Charlie did not have to say anything. He knew his expression gave him away. Then a sudden searing pain went from his hand, traveling his arm, to his mouth, making him yell, "Sonofabitch!"

She shushed him, "Don't wake up everyone on the ward. Sorry had to distract you while I put your fingers back. But hey whaddya know? I was right."

"You're the third person to guess."

Her watch started chirping and she looked at the face, "Well just in time, my break is up. Good luck, Charlie."

She got up and was leaving the room.

"So why were you up on the roof?"

"To find inner peace with a menthol," she said and walked out.

Charlie walked into the next room to see Dani was asleep; he sat down next to the bed and fell asleep. He awoke the next morning to a stiff neck but a blanket was draped over him. He opened his eyes and saw Dani was putting Kevin back in his crib.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Crews."

"So what are we doing today? I don't know about you but I feel like after all that we could climb at mountain. Let's visit Tibet. We couldn't meet the Dali Lama, we'd have to go to India for that, but we could visit a llama farm. Maybe I should buy one, then Kevin could ride one."

"Crews," said Dani trying to get him back to the conversation at hand. "Thank you."

"Reese, you never have to thank me for anything."

"Still," she said and held out her hand.

"What?"

"Months playing birth partners, seeing everything after I asked you not to and now you're confused? Just get over here."

And she did something that she said was not her thing by giving him a hug.

Still it was not enough. Charlie wanted it all.

He was an idiot.