A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, everyone! I was so busy playing catch up with homework and I needed to plot the next chapter so my brain has been verrrrrrrry busy:). Anyway, here we go, I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. BOO!

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I stopped in my tracks, completely confused as I tried to reassess the situation. Bella had been the one to break up with Jake for cheating on her, but she wasn't still in love with him. What did that mean? My mind was busy trying to digest all the possibilities when I snapped back to reality, realizing I was still standing outside my sister's door like a creep and listening to their conversation. I quickly walked back to my bedroom, shutting the door quietly.

I had to think about this. The hope in my chest was warring painfully with my sensible side. I was completely torn between running back to Alice's bedroom and dragging Bella away to kiss her senseless and staying holed up in here until she left. I didn't want to look like a desperate puppy following her around; I knew I would have to come up with some sort of plan.

Three weeks later…

EPOV

I had been avoiding Bella again. I just didn't want to run the risk of getting her alone only to ruin everything by being a complete idiot. Therefore, we were spending a lot of time with my family and I was perfectly content to let things unfold.

We were finished with the EP for the record label, and now we were getting things together for the next tour. We would be going on tour by ourselves in the next couple weeks, and I was really torn. I wanted to spend as much time with Bella as I possibly could, but I was having an increasingly difficult time staying away from her.

Yeah, because that makes total sense, you idiot, the voice in my head said sarcastically. I knew Bella was still getting her life back together after everything with Jake. She wasn't likely to respond well if I tried to make a pass at her. I sighed, trying to push away my impatience. Bella was worth the wait, and I just had to keep reminding myself of that.

I was currently sitting at the kitchen table at my house, trying to work on some lyrics for the Volturi album. I just wasn't satisfied with some of the songs I'd already written, and I wanted to try and do a better job on them before we recorded them. The idea kept shifting in my head, and now the plot of the back story was focused on a human girl falling in love with one of the good vampires while the evil vampires tried to keep them apart. I had to resist the urge to name the main bad guy "Jake." Too obvious, I reminded myself.

I looked up as I heard the front door slam. I could hear voices, and I immediately identified Alice and Rosalie's excited tones. Their footsteps came closer to the kitchen and I pushed aside the pad of paper I'd been working on.

They stepped into the kitchen carrying a ton of shopping bags, and that's when I heard Bella griping about Alice buying her something or other at the mall. I just grinned, knowing that Alice couldn't help herself when it came to shopping. She was seriously addicted, and we should probably have an intervention one of these days but nobody really took it to heart. Alice was just Alice, and we were all too used to it by now.

They turned and spotted me sitting at the table, and I sat patiently while Alice showed me every single piece of clothing she'd bought. I knew that if I just kept the polite interested look fixed on my face, she would get her little fashion show over a lot quicker. I nodded when it was required of me and commented when she expected me to. I knew the drill.

Finally, Alice and Rose stampeded up the stairs to go put their stuff away and I watched as Bella dropped herself into the nearest chair like a rag doll. "Tired?" I asked with amusement.

"Ugh, you have no idea. Alice is like a tornado with that credit card," she groaned.

I laughed as I let my eyes roam over her. Bella had finally moved back in with her dad after her and Jake broke up. I was sorry to see her go, but I knew her dad wanted her to be at home with him. I still missed being able to find any excuse to see her whenever I wanted to, though. Even if she was always running around with Alice and Rose, I never really saw as much of her these days. The only time she and I were together consisted of silly group activities, like bowling or going to see movies.

I watched as she set her bag down before sliding a backpack off her back. Bella had enrolled in the local community college for the spring quarter about a week after breaking up with Jake. While I was glad that she was moving on with her life, I was disappointed that it meant she wouldn't be joining us when we went on tour soon.

"So, what classes are you taking?" I asked, interested.

"I've got a philosophy class, English, and a creative writing class. I'm also taking photography, but I'm not very good at it yet," she said.

"So do you like being back in school?" I inquired.

"Yeah, it's a lot different than being in high school. I have more freedom and a lot less homework with only having four classes, but I guess I'll kind of miss all the traveling I did with Wolf Runner," she replied.

"Well, you know you can always join us on tour if you wanted to. I'm sure we could make room for you," I said before kicking myself internally. I wasn't really doing a very good job at not acting like a lovesick puppy. I tried to get myself in check before I said something even dumber.

She looked up at me, an expression of surprise on her face. "Well I don't think I'll be able to, since you guys are leaving soon. Maybe after the next quarter…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought I'd offer. I know Alice and Rosalie will miss you a lot while we're gone," I said quickly, trying to cover up the wistfulness in my voice.

"I'll miss them, too," she said, looking down at the tabletop.

I decided to change the subject, so I got up and walked over to the refrigerator. My mom had drilled manners into our heads from the cradle. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?" I asked.

"What do you have?" she asked, standing up and walking over to where I stood. She peeked over my arm into the fridge, examining its contents.

"Let's see, we have some leftover pizza, some leftover fried chicken, some apples and anything else you can see," I said.

"I'll have a Coke if you don't mind," she said politely. I dropped my arm from the door and went to grab her Coke, and my arm brushed her side in the process. She jumped back quickly.

"What, what did I do?" I asked, alarmed.

"Er, nothing, I'm just really ticklish, that's all," she said, blushing.

I grinned as an evil idea popped into my head. I set the Coke down on the counter and advanced, stalking her toward the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Oh really?" I asked, my smile a mile wide.

"Oh, no you don't Edward! EDWARD CULLEN, YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" she yelled with a terrified look on her face. "I hate being tickled!" She huddled into herself, wrapping her arms around her waist.

I just kept advancing, my arms reached out toward her with my fingers wiggling in anticipation. I was chuckling as I finally had her pinned against the island. My fingers dug into her sides and I laughed uproariously as I tickled her. I could see her lovely blush spreading across her cheeks as she squealed, trying to arch away from my merciless hands.

When she arched her body into mine, my mind went blank and I forgot what I was doing as all the blood immediately pooled in my groin. I gasped and my pupils dilated as I looked down at her. She was still laughing, trying to avoid my hands. When she noticed I'd stopped, she looked up at me, her face glowing with mirth.

My hands dropped to the counter on either side of her hips and I stared down into her beautiful eyes, getting lost in their deep brown depths. I saw them widen as she inhaled sharply, realizing what I was about to do.

"Bella…" I sighed, before dropping my head down slowly. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights as my eyes drifted closed. My lips brushed against hers softly, and I immediately felt the jolt of electricity zing through my veins. I tried to deepen the kiss, but I felt her small hands come up and press against my chest. I reluctantly raised my head and looked back at her.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I can't," she said, looking panicked. I felt a crushing weight land on my chest as I hurriedly released her, stepping back to give her some space.

"No, no, it's okay Bella. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry," I replied, feeling like a complete idiot. I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated.

"I really like you, Edward. I just don't think I'm ready to start dating again. I mean, I just broke up with Jake less than a month ago and I still have a lot of stuff I need to sort out before I move on," she said sadly.

"It's okay, I understand. I just got wrapped up in the moment, I guess," I said, my eyes downcast.

I heard her sigh in relief before she said, "So, are we still friends?"

"Yeah, friends," I said, quietly. I tried to ignore the disappointment and regret pulsing through me with every heart beat.

I could see her turning to escape in my peripheral vision. I felt my determination rise and I couldn't stop myself. I still needed to get something off my chest, and maybe now was the perfect time to do so.

"Hey, Bella?" She turned around and looked at me, curiosity in her expression.

"I just want you to know that we're still friends, but I really like you and I think you should know. When we leave for tour, you'll have plenty of time to figure things out. I'll wait for you to be ready. All you have to do is say the word, and I'll be here. I like you too much to give up on you," I said.

Her eyes widened in shock and I watched as the blush spread to the roots of her hair. I had my heart in my throat as I waited to hear her response.

She finally nodded and said, "I'll write to you."

With that, she turned around and ran out the front door.

BPOV

The Cullens had been gone for three months. I missed them terribly. Well, okay, so I missed Alice and Rose but the person I was really missing was Edward. I sighed in frustration as I threw down my pencil, realizing I wasn't going to get any homework done.

My eyes drifted over to my computer, where the latest email from Edward was still sitting open on my desktop. We had been writing back and forth, talking about anything and everything but never the one thing that was sitting there between us like a snake coiled to strike.

Of course, I wanted to tell him everything that was going on inside my mind. I wanted to tell him how amazing it felt when his lips brushed mine in the kitchen that day. I wanted to beg him to come home and really lay one on me. I wanted to live out every single one of the incredibly hot and sexy dreams I'd been having about him.

I slammed my head down on my desk, trying to relieve the frustration building inside. I was such a fool for turning him down that day. I could have had all of Edward Cullen, but instead I had to push him away and run away like a little girl.

I knew my problems needed time and I was definitely working on them, but I couldn't help but be afraid that he would meet someone else before I would get a chance with him. My heart froze as I thought about what had happened with Jake and that girl while he was on tour, and I felt pain claw at my chest. I didn't want Edward to meet someone else!

I felt pathetic. I'd been spending a lot of my free time trying to figure out what I wanted now that the Cullens were gone. Not only was I still sorting things out with Jake, but I also had some pretty old issues that I needed to deal with and now was definitely the time. After my mom left my dad when I was a baby, I knew that love wasn't necessarily enough. Moreover, people could convince themselves they were in love when they really weren't. After all, wasn't I living proof of that?

Edward was amazing, and if I did get the chance to be with him, then I didn't want to mess it up. I had to get past all these issues that kept me from being in a real relationship. I felt trapped by the fear of rejection. So many things could go wrong, and I was just so afraid of anything coming between us.

What if Edward and I got together, and he went on tour and met someone else? What if he cheated on me? When Jake cheated on me, I wasn't that hurt because I was already planning on breaking up with him. If Edward cheated on me, I could already tell that my heart would be destroyed. I wasn't prepared for that.

Edward could also break up with me. Maybe he would think I wasn't good enough for him. Right now, we were just friends. We'd only ever shared that practically nonexistent kiss. There was no guarantee that we would be compatible when it came to the physical stuff. I'd only ever had sex with Jake, so I was relatively inexperienced.

All the worst-case scenarios continued to run through my head as I stared out my bedroom window. The sun was dropping behind the trees, leaving long shadows on the back lawn. Charlie was on a call for work and I was just sitting here, trying to finish my essay for English.

Finally, I shook myself out of my reverie. I was beginning to get depressed, and that wasn't good. I decided to put on some music to lift my mood.

I got up and stretched, walking over to my record player. I was in the mood for some Velvet Teen, and my favorite record was already queued up and ready to go. I dropped the needle and went back to my computer desk to re-read Edward's email.

From:

To:

Greetings from the Great Lakes!

I am sitting in the back of the club, waiting for sound check to start so I thought I'd finally write you back. I was thinking about you yesterday as I listened to Sufjan Stevens. His album for Michigan is probably my favorite. That guy is crazy, I swear. I wonder if he's really going to finish his plan to write an album for every state?

Anyway, I'm in the process of making you another mix CD of all the bands we've played with so far. It's probably going to be pretty epic, considering we've already played thirty or so shows. I promise to weed out the crappy stuff, though.

How's school going? Alice tells me you're getting really good at photography. Maybe you can be our official band photographer, eh? That would be awesome!

In response to your last email, I have read a lot of philosophy and I have to say that Neitzsche is probably my favorite philosopher so far. He has many fascinating things to say. I know when you study him, you'll see why. Look up his idea called "amor fati." It means "the love of fate." The idea is that everything is as it should be, and "that one wants nothing to be other than it is, not in the future, not in the past, not in all eternity. Not merely to endure that which happens of necessity, still less to dissemble it... but to LOVE it." Basically, it's the idea that people should embrace their fate and love it as opposed to fighting it.

Anyway, I thought you would enjoy that. I should probably get going, Emmett is trying to start a belching contest and I am not going to be roped into it.

Everyone really misses you.

Edward

I closed my eyes after I finished reading his words, trying to picture his face in my mind. I mentally traced the lines of his jaw and cheekbones, running my fingertips over his eyebrows and down the tip of his nose. I indulged in a fantasy where I let myself run my hands through his messy bronze hair, feeling its thick silkiness between my fingers.

The delicate music coming from my record player drifted over me as I continued my imaginary exploration of Edward's beautiful face. The violins and piano swelled in a melancholy wave, and my heart splintered as I came back to reality.

My eyes focused on the clock and I realized I'd been fantasizing for the last twenty minutes. I was always able to get lost in my head for hours at a time, so I wasn't really surprised.

I heard my phone beep and I got up to check the display. There was a text message from Alice saying that she was going to call me tomorrow to catch up. That must mean that they were done playing.

Silence filled the room as the record spun toward the hidden track on the album. I waited to hear the frantic beat of the song. This was my favorite on the album, and it was the only reason I had bought an inconvenient record player in the first place. It was only on the vinyl release, unfortunately. This song was definitely worth it.

The beat filled my ears and I sat on the edge of my bed, getting lost in the lyrics. Judah Nagler knew how to write a love song like nobody's business. His words never failed to touch my heart, and now was no exception. The next verse of the song began and I felt my heart pound in my chest as a moment of clarity slammed into me.

"They say the rules for fools who rush in
are the same as Russian roulette
life, if you choose an empty chamber
or a bullet in the head
and you can say that you won't play
or go shoot something else instead
either way, the last thought that you think
will be the first that you forget
but lest the fear of your own life
cause you to live like you'd met death
know love while you still can, fill your lungs
let me hear your quickened breath
sing like you were suicidal
tremble atop the treble clef
to hell with this life, if without
love, let your eyes roll back to heaven…"

I needed to be brave. I didn't want to let someone as amazing as Edward slip through my fingers without putting up a good fight. It may not work out, but I couldn't let that stop me from trying. I had to give it a chance. I may end up with a broken heart, but I could live through it. What I couldn't live with was the regret of letting him go.

I picked up my phone, my hands shaking with nerves. I could feel the cold sweat breaking out between my shoulder blades as my heart stuttered in my chest. I opened the phone book and scrolled down to Edward's name.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, I hit "send."

He answered on the second ring. "Bella?" he asked as his smooth voice caressed my ear.

"Hey, Edward…" I said, feeling some of my bravado slipping.

"Hey! This is certainly a pleasant surprise. What's up?" Okay, he sounded happy to hear from me. I could do this, I told myself.

"Well, remember when we talked before you left for tour? Do you remember what you said?" I asked, feeling like an idiot.

There was a moment of silence. Finally, he said, "Yes…"

This was it. I breathed deeply and responded, "Well, I'm ready."

A/N: Oh! Slam! I hate cliffhangers but I really wanted to leave this at a breathless moment to keep the tension going. The next chapter is going to blow your everlovin' mind and I can't wait to write it. In all honestly, I probably won't wait. I hope you guys liked this chapter, it certainly took long enough for me to plot out. Things will be picking up speed from here on out, so don't worry your pretty little heads. Oh, please please go and check out the Velvet Teen song used in this chapter. It's amazing. They are my favorite band. The song is titled "No One Gets the Best of Me." -HIE