How to Get a Date

I don't own Hellsing. It belongs to Kouta Hirano.

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After Alucard left, Pip began to think over what he had said.

"Y'know, Fred, I'm beginning to doubt zat what Alucard said would be workable for our video."

"Si. It will take too long, unless you already know someone here."

"Well, zere are always ze 'ores down at ze brozel."

"I thought you told us that they're ugly, señor."

"But perhaps zey'll have to do, unless…"

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"Seraaaas! Seras! Open up in zere!" Pip exclaimed, knocking on the door with one hand and hiding something behind his back with the other.

A very pissed-off looking Seras opened the door, still in her pink-striped pajamas.

"This had better be important for you to wake me up so early in the day." She growled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Oui!" Pip grinned, using the hidden hand to pull out a bouquet of six red roses mixed with white babies' breath, presenting them to her.

Her mood lightened in an instant.

"Oh, wow, they're beautiful!" Seras breathed, taking the bouquet in her hands.

"Zey're not as beautiful as you." Pip replied smoothly, looking into Seras' blue eyes.

A hint of a blush bloomed across Seras' cheeks.

"Thank you, Pip." Seras smiled, giving Pip a hug.

She broke away from the embrace first.

"I really need to get some more sleep, though. Master usually works me into a right mess during training."

"Bonne nuit, mon amour." (Good night, my love.)

Seras smiled, shutting her bedroom door.

Pip walked down the hallway, towards the hidden camera, picking it up and playing back what he had recorded.

So the experiment worked.

Seras' image was a tiny bit grainy (nothing a little bit of re-touching could fix) and her voice was recorded perfectly.

Blood was a factor in the turning process. Since Seras didn't drink human blood, her image showed up on film.

Pip was rather pleased with himself.

"When I spoke of you getting to know someone, I did not mean my fledgling."

Pip's blood ran cold as he turned, seeing Alucard loom over him.

"Uh… B-bonjour, monsieur Alucard."

"Don't give me that, Frenchman." Alucard's upper lip curled into a snarl.

Pip's eyes grew wide as the vampire's fangs were exposed, looking like they were just about to tear into his skin.

"If you hurt my fledgling in any way, I will personally end your existence, human."

Pip gulped down air to calm his wildly beating heart as Alucard phased through the floor, the red eyes boring into his very soul.

When Pip thought that he was gone, he picked up the camera and ran to find Fred.

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Ferdinand was trying to get a nap in. He lay on his soft bed, the sheets tucked up to his neck as he began to drift into the oblivion of sleep.

BAM!

"Fred!"

Ferdinand snorted awake, sitting up quickly in his bed as Pip ran over to him, green eyes wild.

"What is it, señor?! Are we under attack?!"

"Non! I got great footage for ze video!"

Fred's right eye twitched.

"¡POR QUE EL INFIERNO DESPERTARIA ME USTED ARRIBA PARA ESO!" (WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP FOR THAT!) He exclaimed in rapid Spanish, throwing his boots at Pip.

Pip managed to stumble out of the door, shutting it behind him before something hard hit the wood on the other side.

Note to self: Pip thought, slumping against the doorframe. Never wake up Fred unless it's an emergency.

He let out a sigh before digging around in his pockets for a cigarette pack.

"I really need zis." He said, heading outside to light up.

Pip thought he could barely hear laughter coming from the basement below him.

"Se taire." (Shut up.) Pip muttered, lighting up his cigarette.

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This will be interesting. What does Pip have in store for Seras? I ain't telling you. Anyhoo, review, please!