How to Get a Date

I don't own Hellsing. It belongs to Kouta Hirano.

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The next day, Pip couldn't believe his luck. The whole day, he floated through the hallways as if he was on a cloud.

Alucard was off on a mission, and Seras would be all his. As soon as sundown came, he picked up the camera. He trained it on himself.

"Zere are many ways to impress a women. Wine 'er. Dine 'er. Be sensitive. Today, I will be taking Sera out to a chick flick." He put on a jacket, sticking the camera in a pocket.

He knocked on Seras's door, all primed and ready to go to the theater.

"Mon amour!" Pip greeted when Seras stood in the doorway.

"Hello, Pip."

"Mon amour, would you like to go see a movie wiz me?" He rose his eyebrows twice in quick succession.

"I can't tonight. Integra has me on standby while Master is gone."

"Iz zat so?" Pip cringed.

Fuck shit, then.

"But 'ow about tomorrow, zen?" Pip inquired.

He WOULD NOT be continued to be foiled. He needed the money! He needed the video! He needed Seras to cooperate! If this didn't work, he'd be forced to take drastic measures.

"Maybe." Seras replied. She was silent for a moment. "It's just that… Oh, never mind."

"Quoi, mon amour?" Pip inquired.

Seras decided to unload on him.

"It's just that… It's getting harder and harder to stay human… Well, human-ish, anyway. I mean, human food hurts when I swallow it, and when I'm on the field, the scent of blood makes me thirsty." She paused. "And I'm not sure if I'd be able to have a real relationship with you. I'm really sorry, Pip."

Her blue eyes were cast to the tiled floor, a frown on her face.

"'Ey. Police Girl."

Seras looked up at Pip from under her lashes.

"You're gonna be okay." Pip held her shoulders at arm's width; offering his gesture of comfort. "Just because you ain't human doesn't mean a zing to me. Not a damn zing."

Tears threatened to spill out of Seras's eyes, and her eyes got glassy as she stared into Pip's emerald gaze.

"We are going to go out tomorrow, and we are going to 'ave ze best fucking time in ze world. Got it?"

Seras nodded, grinning.

"Thank you, Pip." She said quietly, pulling the captain into an embrace.

Pip smiled into Seras's golden hair, wrapping his own arms around her.

This was the closest he had ever felt to Seras. Surely, once he had submitted his video, he would continue to get closer.

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"Fred! Fred! Oh, Fred, Fred, Fred!" Pip opened his companion's door and practically floated through, shutting the door behind him.

"I am in love, and it feels so, so magnifique!" He exhaled in a monumental sigh as he plopped down in a chair by Fred's bed.

"Love is a beautiful thing, Señor. I remember how I felt when I first met my wife. She was-- and still is--hermosa (beautiful)! She sends my heart en llamas (ablaze)!"

Pip nodded, listening to Fred's poeticism, little tendrils of Spanish that floated through his ears like gentle music.

However, the nagging fact that Seras was a vampire remained. Seras would outlive him, his chances of becoming a creature of the night had already passed him a long time ago. And Seras would remain young forever while his earthly body would age and become decrepit.

And after he died, Seras would remain. Untouched by time and utterly alone through the rest of her existence, waiting for a violent act that would finally end her.

It was depressing. Pip tried to think of something more positive--anything, but he could not ignore the facts that were plaguing him.

"Ya know, Fred, I zink I'm goin' to go out for a beer. Do you want to join me?" He asked, interrupting Fred's little rant.

"Si, Señor. I would very much like to do that." Fred smiled.

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I'm alive! Sorry about the insanely long pause. It's been what, four months? It was a mix of writer's block, groundings, and just being busy in general. Anyhoo, hoped you liked this chapter. It's kinda fluffy, ain't it? Review, please!