Hello again! I bring you another chapter, and believe it or not, this one is longer than the last one. Seems to be a trend, eh?

A quick thank you to my beta Barbellenel, Vivienne Grainger and RubyGirl12345 for reviewing, and everyone who reads this story. Thank you all for your support! :D

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

Disclaimer: It pains me to say that I do not own Bleach or its characters, but I do own the idea for this story, the drunken Renji phrases and Yumi's... fetish. :)

Things Get Steamy

As the bathroom door opened, thick steam billowed out and surrounded the surprised shinigami. The four in the other room didn't dare move for fear of stepping on someone, or in Hisagi's case, sitting on Renji more.

A voice could be heard through the steam. "I really wish I had some windows in here. Sorry about this, guys."

"You'd better be sorry, Izuru!" Yumichika snapped, trying to save his precious feathers from the steam by swatting at it with his hands. "If my feathers melt off because of your shower gases, so help me, I'll shave your head!"

"Yumi, that was a fib to keep you out of my bathroom," Kira sighed from the shadows. "Your feathers won't melt. They'll be a little damp, but otherwise fine."

Outraged, Yumichika shrieked, "Of all the dirty, underhanded schemes! If I could see the way to the bathroom, I'd strangle you with your own towel!"

Ikkaku grinned. "Nice one, Blondie! Your creepy captain would be proud."

Kira scowled in what he hoped was Ikkaku's general direction. "Don't insult Captain Ichimaru, you bonehead. We're in the third, remember? He could be walking by here right now and hear you." He took a couple steps forward into the fog.

"OW!!!" Hisagi screamed. "Kira! You're on my ankle!!!"

Kira jumped backward. "Sorry, Shuuhei!"

"LLLLoud noisesh!!!" Renji yelled.

Kira jumped again. "I didn't step on him too, did I?"

"No, I think he's yelling just to yell."

Ikkaku, a believer of the "if you can't see, yell" policy, shouted into the steam. "Why isn't it clearing up?"

Kira cringed at the volume and spoke calmly from the shadows. "Keep your voice down, genius. It is night, after all."

"Innndoor voicesh!" Renji hollered.

Hisagi looked at what he believed was Ikkaku's figure. "We're in the middle of the barracks, so there aren't any windows for the steam to escape."

"Someone open the door. That should do it," Kira stated.

Hisagi turned his head. "Yumi, you're the closest to the door."

"Oh sure, make Yumichika do it," the fifth seat muttered, crawling his way along the wall in search of the door while swatting at the steam. "He's not doing anything important, like saving his feathers from water damage and mold. Not at all."

Reaching the door frame, Yumichika sat up and pushed the door open swiftly. The sudden pressure difference quickly sucked all of the steam out of the room and sent it into the hallway just as fast. It blasted the wall opposite the door, smothering two of Kira's subordinates in the process. As it cleared, the two squad members turned towards Kira's room to see the source of their steam bath but soon decided against it, making a hasty retreat to hide their laughter.

"Did they see something funny?" the four shinigami heard Kira ask behind them.

They each turned to look at their friend and had to hold back their amusement. Kira had scrubbed all of the hair gel out and it was obvious. His face was entirely obscured by his hair, which was partially hanging and partially plastered to his cheeks from the humidity. Drops of water journeyed down the rest of his stick-straight hair before running down his back. He twitched at the sensation, glad that he had refrained from putting his uniform top back on but even more glad that he had put on pants. Dropping the upper half of his uniform, he dried off his back, all the while wondering why his friends hadn't answered him yet.

Meanwhile, the others were trying their hardest to suppress their laughter. All previous hostility forgotten, an amused Yumichika snapped his eyes shut, smile creeping up his face as he tried to erase the mental image. Renji noticed the difference too, and in his drunken state had no inhibitions, so he was laughing hysterically, flailing his legs randomly. Luckily Ikkaku had clapped a hand over the redhead's mouth just in time. He also covered Hisagi's mouth, since the dark-haired man couldn't do so or the giggling drunk would get loose. Ikkaku himself had somehow managed in his awkward position to rest his forehead on the floor, eyes closed to try and hold back the merriment. The only thing he couldn't hold back was his mouth.

"I'm surprised they didn't scream," the bald man snickered, sending Hisagi, Yumichika and himself over the edge, all three giving in to fits of laughter as Renji had.

Kira tried looking at the others but his hair rendered him basically blind. "What? What's so funny?" he asked, completely oblivious.

The four laughed harder at the innocent question.

"Really, guys," Kira pressed, raising an unseen eyebrow, "What are you all laughing at?"

Hisagi tried to calm himself down enough to respond. "Y… Y… Y-Your… h… h-hair…"

Kira grabbed some of the hair obscuring his face. "You mean this, right? My hair always looks like this after I shower."

Yumichika held his stomach. "Now I know why you use all of those hair products!"

"No wonder the guards ran away! You look like a sheepdog!" Ikkaku blurted out, resulting in another bout of laughter.

Kira turned his head toward Ikkaku's voice. "Guards? What do you mean?"

"A… A couple of your… s-subordinates went past… as the d-door opened," Hisagi gasped, trying to regulate his breathing again.

"Oh, my sides!" Yumichika winced under the laughter. "They saw your monstrous wet mop of hair and ran-"

"-laughing their asses off!" Ikkaku finished, rolling onto his side. "The looks on their faces!"

Kira sighed. "I imagine I'll hear this buzzing around the Third tomorrow. I usually keep my door shut when I shower."

Yumichika raised an eyebrow, finally calm. "But what about all the steam? Surely you wouldn't leave the door closed afterwards. It's the only way to clear out all of those evil feather-ruining vapors."

Hisagi turned toward Yumi. "Exaggerate much?"

"You're right Yumi, but I don't need to see my room." Kira carefully made his way to the door and shut it again.

Hisagi gaped. "Impressive."

"I do fine without vision. I've memorized where everything in my room is so that I don't step on anything. You guys, however, don't know my room so I thought it would be best if you could see your way around. Just try not to move too much. I don't know where all of you are but I assume from the lack of yelping that I didn't step on anyone this time."

Ikkaku propped himself up on his elbow. "You know what happens when you assume. It makes an ass out of Yumi."

Yumichika crossed his arms indignantly. "It does not. You said it wrong, genius. The correct way is 'it makes an ass out of you, not me.'" The fifth seat pointed to Ikkaku.

"Actually, you're both wrong," Hisagi interjected. "The phrase is 'it makes an ass out of you and me.'"

Yumichika scoffed. "That can't be right! Who in their right mind would lump themselves in with someone who considers him- or herself an ass? Not me, that's for certain!"

Renji opened one of his captured hands as if he were raising it. "Pickh meh! Pickh meh!"

Kira groaned and leaned against the door. "Can we get back on topic here? What are we going to do about my hair?" He looked down at the fifth seat. "Yumi? Any ideas?"

Yumichika turned his head away, grudge returning. "Oh, now you want my help."

"Come on! I'm a grown man. I don't need another man helping me shower!"

Hisagi cleared his throat. "Okay, we've already been down this road once tonight. The shower is done, so let's move on, okay?"

"Alright, fine," Yumi relented. "But you owe me!" He poked Kira's chest.

"Ah! Stop, I'm ticklish!"

"As retribution, you will allow me to give you a hairstyle of my own creation. You will wear it and you will like it!" Yumichika poked him a couple more times for emphasis.

Kira squirmed, trying to escape the poking. "Alright! I'll do it! Just call off your finger!"

Yumichika brightened immediately, clapping his hands together. "Wonderful! Now let's get started, shall we?" He narrowed his eyes at Kira momentarily, poking him in the side. "That's the consequence for requesting your safety blanket of hair products back."

"GEH!"

Hisagi looked over at Ikkaku. "Can you put the sake away so I can get up? Until he sobers, he'll leap at anything alcoholic."

"Fine," the bald man grumbled, scooting over to the special spot and putting the bottle back under the floorboards. "I didn't even get a drink…"

"Too muj dwink'll make ya twinkle like a zeberrr," Renji grumbled, waving a finger at the spot where Ikkaku had just sat.

"Sure. Whatever you say, Drunk Dynamo," Hisagi chuckled, getting off of the redhead, picking him up off the floor and setting him in the corner again. He pointed a finger at Renji. "Stay."

Renji moved his arm to attempt a salute but brought his arm in too fast and successfully karate chopped his face, knocking himself out.

Hisagi shook his head and hoped the man sobered soon as he joined the other three in the middle of the room. Kira sat on the floor in between Ikkaku and Yumi, who were facing him and contemplating ideas. Hisagi sat down in the circle, effectively trapping Kira in the middle.

Yumichika clapped again. "Gentlemen, and Ikkaku, our first order of business is to comb the beast on Kira's head. If we comb it out, then it will be easier to see what we can do with it." He quickly got up and flitted into the bathroom, returning a second later with a comb and sitting back down. "Wow, Izuru. For having so many hair products, I would think you would have more than one comb."

"I'm the only one living in here. Why would I need more than one?"

Yumichika dismissed him, waving a hand. "It's okay, no need to fret. I have extras." He pulled three combs out of his sleeve. "Everyone take a comb."

Hisagi's eyes bugged. "Why do you have all of those?"

Yumi shook his head disapprovingly. "Shuuhei, you should know better. Any good Sarah Tay consultant always carries hair and skin care products and accessories (1). If you meet a potential client, a consultant must always look his best. Plus, it's nice to be prepared in case of unexpected breezes. I keep my favorite comb in my other sleeve. Her name is Sadie and she has a special case that she sleeps in."

Ikkaku gaped. "I thought your girlfriend was named Sadie!"

"She is," Yumichika replied, raising his arm and nuzzling his sleeve, "and she's the most beautiful being in the world, aren't you dear?"

Hisagi was dumbfounded. "That's the weirdest romance I've ever seen…"

Kira turned his head toward Hisagi's voice. "I'm glad I can't see it."

"I have to go now, darling. I'll come see you later," Yumichika cooed, kissing his sleeve and lowering his arm. He looked at the others. "She doesn't like leaving without a kiss."

"Later, Sadie," Ikkaku waved. Hisagi and Kira gave him weird looks, though only Hisagi's was visible. Ikkaku crossed his arms. "What? Yumi's told me stories. She sounds fun to be around."

Hisagi looked at Kira. "What kind of weirdos are they raising in the eleventh?"

"Now, back to business," Yumichika announced. "Everyone take a comb."

They all did as instructed. Kira reached for his comb but the fifth seat slapped his hand away.

"You don't need one, Izuru. We'll handle this. Besides, you'll probably just comb it into the same position again."

Kira slouched and exhaled sharply, sending a small portion of his damp hair flying momentarily.

Yumi raised a comb in the air. "Alright fellows, commence combing!"

The three shinigami scooted closer to the blonde and set to their task. Yumichika was thoroughly enjoying himself, imagining that he owned his own hair salon and that Kira was a client. He took great care to assure that Kira was being well serviced.

Hisagi was working a lot slower than Yumichika was since he had very little experience working with hair. He was as gentle as possible, since he didn't want to hurt his friend.

Ikkaku also had no experience with hair, especially since he had none of his own. Unfortunately for Kira, he approached the knots like he did an opponent – harshly.

"Ow ow ow ow ow! You're going to rip my hair off!"

Ikkaku yanked harder on the knot. "Why. Won't. It. Come. Out!"

Hisagi held back a chuckle at Ikkaku's expense.

Yumichika reached over and grabbed the bald man's arm. "Stop. You have to be gentle with it. I know it's a stretch for you but that's the only way it will come out easily."

Hisagi laughed behind his comb-free hand, trying not to jerk the comb through the knots.

Ikkaku raised an eyebrow. "Gentle? There's no such thing as gentle."

Yumi slowly took Ikkaku's comb from him. "I'm revoking your combing privileges." He put the comb back in his sleeve, much to Kira's relief, and continued to work on the blonde's hair.

"So what am I supposed to do then?" Ikkaku grumped.

The fifth seat thought a moment. "Hold him down if he starts to struggle."

Hearing only the first three words, Ikkaku happily jumped at the opportunity, grabbing both of Kira's arms in a vice-like grip.

"He said 'if,' moron!" Kira yelped at the pressure on his arms. He tried to shake Ikkaku off, but the bald man only tightened his grip more. Kira sighed. "Fine. If you're not going to let go, can you at least relax your hands a little? My arms are already sore from my shower. Lousy high pressure shower heads."

"High pressure? Was there a dying cat squeak?" Ikkaku asked excitedly.

Hisagi snorted. "The only thing dying in here is your brain."

Yumichika gave Kira a questioning look. "Why are you cursing shower heads?"

"The shower heads in the Third have very high water pressure, so if you're injured, like I am, taking a shower is torture," Kira replied. "I'm surprised you didn't hear me yelling in there. It hurt pretty badly."

Yumichika scoffed. "With these morons bumbling about, I would've been surprised if I had heard our Captain pick another fight with Yachiru."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they were jumping and running around the room trying to keep Renji from some sake-"

"No," Kira interrupted, "I meant about the other thing."

"Oh. You should've specified. The Captain and Yachiru are very loud arguers, and they fight all the time, mainly because she likes to eat his taffy-scented bath soaps. She hiccups bubbles for several days after, and he reprimands her constantly because he often ends up eating bubbles with his oat bran."

Hisagi laughed. "Captain Zaraki has taffy-scented soap?"

Kira grinned under his hair. "No wonder Yachiru clings to him all the time. She thinks he's a walking lollipop."

Hisagi finished combing the last strand in his area and set the comb down. "I'm done over here, Yumi, so whenever you're ready to proceed…"

Yumichika sighed. "Oh darn, and I was just getting to the perm, too…"

Kira tensed. "WHAT?!"

Hisagi put a hand on Kira's shoulder. "Relax, he didn't mean literally. Yumi's in his own little world right now."

Eyes glazed, Yumi pulled away from Kira and turned to the side, mimicking stirring a bowl. "This magic perm solution will turn your brown curls into straight blue strands in no time…"

Kira turned to where Yumichika's voice was coming from, reaching out a hand as far as Ikkaku would allow and snapping his fingers. "Yumi. Yumi!"

Yumichika's reverie bubble instantly popped. "Huh?"

Hisagi smiled. "Glad to have you back in the Seireitei. We're ready for the next step when you are."

Yumi waved him off. "Oh, Shuuhei, I've been done. I've just been combing for the sake of combing. I don't think our subject minded, either."

"Nuh uh," Kira answered. Despite Ikkaku's hold on his arms, he was quite relaxed. Though it wasn't the manliest activity ever, having other people comb his hair was very calming.

"Alright, Kira," Yumichika announced, "now that the main combing is done, let's comb that hair back so Style Guru Yumichika can look at what he has to work with. Stay back, Hisagi. Your inexperience is a hazard to my mission."

Hisagi scooted back, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you say, Yumi."

Yumichika moved over so that he was directly in front of Kira. He placed the comb in the middle of his head and combed any strays backward. He then moved the comb to the front of Kira's head, slowly parting the long strands in the middle. With utmost care, he slid the comb under the hair and combed both portions up and back so that they were out of Kira's face.

"Behold," Yumi proclaimed, shifting back to his original position, "Izuru Kira's entire face!"

Ikkaku released his grip on Kira's arms and moved to his front as Hisagi scooted in again to get a better look.

Hisagi nodded. "Not a bad look for you, Izuru."

Ikkaku gaped. "Holy crap, there's actually another eye behind there!"

Hisagi pushed him over. "He's not a Cyclops, you know."

"Wow, it's so bright in here," Kira said, raising an arm over his forehead. "How do you guys stand it?"

"Well, we don't hide behind our hair, so we're used to it," Ikkaku taunted.

Hisagi raised an eyebrow at the bald man. "What hair, Ikkaku?"

"Shut up! I recently got it dyed invisible!"

Yumichika waved him off. "Let the man dream, Shuuhei." He turned to Kira, examining his face and complexion. "Well, there's good news and bad news."

"Uh oh," Kira sighed. "Alright, good news first."

"You have a very versatile face shape, which means practically any hair style will suit you."

"Okay, what's the bad news?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it bad news, at least for me…"

"Just tell me!" Kira blurted out impatiently.

Yumichika leaned in closer, leaving only a hair's width separating their noses. He smiled a schemer's smile. "The only way to find the right style for you is trial and error, which means…"

Kira gasped in horror. "No!"

Yumichika's smile deepened to an almost evil level. "Yes. Style Guru Yumichika is now your personal hair stylist, and whatever he says goes!"

Kira's eye twitched. No way! This can't be happening! I'll never be free from his clutches! If I thought the shower thing was bad, I can only imagine what he has in store for me now... Why is my head so light all of a sudden? Oh no, I think I'm going to…­

With a slight head wobble, Kira's eyes rolled back into his head and the blonde fainted, falling over onto his side.

Yumi blinked. "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting THAT reaction."

Hisagi gave him a level stare. "Maybe if you hadn't brought out your evil grin…"

"He's right, dude," Ikkaku added with a shudder. "That look creeps even me out."

"I guess he just couldn't handle the excitement of having me style his hair," Yumichika stated, shrugging. "Ah well, it's in the past now. This works to my advantage, anyway. Shuuhei, Ikkaku, if you two would pick him up and keep him upright, I'll get to work right away. Better to start now before his hair dries."

With nothing better to do than agree with the feathered man, Hisagi and Ikkaku lifted the unconscious Kira into a semi-seated position. Each man took an arm and held him upright.

Yumi moved forward again to begin his project and paused. "I can't work with his head rolling every which way. Is there some sort of rope we can use to pull his head up?"

Ikkaku looked around and grinned when his attention focused on a particular corner. He turned back to Hisagi. "Hold him for a minute, I got an idea."

"Prepare for failure in three, two, one…" Hisagi muttered under his breath.

The third seat jumped over to the corner where Renji lay, still passed out from drunkenly hitting himself in the face. Even though the redhead's hair tie had snapped during their escape from the rogue guard, the white bandana that often adorned Renji's head had remained in place. Ikkaku lifted it off of him and returned to the circle, trying in vain to untie the knot.

"This thing must be glued together!" Ikkaku growled as he wrestled with the fabric.

"Knot, one. Ikkaku, nothing," Hisagi tallied. "Oh, make that two, three, four…"

"Shut up! I've almost got it!"

"Oh, give me that!" Yumichika snapped, yanking the bandana from Ikkaku's grasp. He lightly tugged on the end of the knot and it quickly unraveled, to Ikkaku's dismay.

Ikkaku paled. "I knew to do that."

"Sure."

Ikkaku held out his hand. "Give it back. I know what to do with it."

Yumi handed it over skeptically.

Twisting the ends of the bandana as if he were about to flick a towel, Ikkaku placed the middle of the bandana in Kira's mouth, pulling it tight and forcing Kira's head to rise. He brought his hand back and down a little bit, bringing the blonde's head to the perfect level for Yumichika to work.

Yumichika was impressed. "Wow, Ikkaku. Good thinking. This might actually work."

"A harebrained scheme by a hairless twit," Hisagi stated with a smirk. He shifted Kira over so that Ikkaku could grab a hold of his arm again.

Yumichika nodded in understanding. "So that's where his hair went! It all receded into his brain! Makes sense. I always thought Ikkaku's thinking was a little fuzzy."

Just as Ikkaku had gotten a firm grip on the arm, Kira's head rolled backwards, coming to rest on Ikkaku's fist. The third seat shoved Kira's head forward and pulled back on the bandana, bringing his head to rest in position again.

"Dude!" Hisagi warned. "Be gentle with him! We want to hold him up, not take him down."

Ikkaku frowned. "I already said, there's no such thing as gentle."

Hisagi's eyes narrowed. "Fine then. Just behave."

"Damn, you take the fun out of everything."

"Alright, I know exactly what I'm going to do," Yumichika announced. He got up and skipped into the bathroom, emerging a minute later with a curling iron. "I'm so glad he had one. Otherwise I would've had to bring out Charmaine, and she doesn't know about Sadie."

Ikkaku gasped. "You cheater!"

"Shh, not too loud! Sadie's right next door to Charmaine and it would be a disaster if the two ever met." Yumichika pointed to both of his sleeves in succession.

Hisagi sighed and covered his face with his free hand.

"Now, let's begin." Yumichika held the iron out. "Shuuhei, would you mind heating it?"

Using low level kidou, Hisagi heated the iron to a high enough temperature that would curl the hair but not burn it while still damp. Thanking him, Yumichika turned to Kira's hair. He took a small portion of it and curled it up from tip to top.

"Hold this for a sec, Shuuhei," Yumi said, quickly rummaging through a sleeve and pulling out a can of hair spray.

Hisagi gave him a questioning look as he relinquished the iron. "You're using your own hair spray?"

"Helena deserves it," Yumichika said stiffly. "She cheated on me with a fellow squad member's lighter. Fiery relationship, that was." He glowered at the can as he sprayed the hair around the iron, pulling the tool out to show a strong blonde curl.

Ikkaku glared at him. "And you deserve it too, for betraying Sadie like that!"

"I've made my choice and stuck by Sadie!" Yumichika snapped. "Charmaine is a summer fling. During the year, she runs off with my toaster."

Ikkaku's face dropped. "Sorry, bud. Didn't know."

Yumi focused on the next piece of hair. "It's alright. Gregor has it coming to him, too. I still have a bone to pick with him over my burnt English muffin."

Hisagi hid his face in his hand again. Why did I even ask?

Yumichika curled and sprayed his way around Kira's head until the blonde was covered in tight curls. He scooted back to examine his work. "Hmm, not bad, but it needs more… poof."

"Seriously?" Ikkaku groaned. "My arm's getting tired. His head's heavy! It's like holding up a watermelon with one finger."

Hisagi leveled his gaze at the bald man, pointing to Kira's head. "Imagine if that melon were still covered in hair gel. Your hand would've been numb in five minutes."

"Puzzling," Yumichika stated, touching a finger to his lips. "Unless I stretch out the curls, there's no possible way I can get the height that I want. How troublesome!"

Hisagi's eyes widened. "I know of something else troublesome, and he's waking up!"

Movement from the abandoned corner grabbed their attention as Renji stirred.

"Dammit, what are we gonna do?" Ikkaku wailed. "We can't stop him while we're supporting Curly here, and Yumi's too busy playin' hairdresser!"

"Maybe if I put toothpicks in it…"

Hisagi nodded nervously. "Plus, Yumi would kill us if we dropped Kira and ruined his work. All we can do is wait…"

Renji slowly opened his eyes, groaning. He rubbed his face to try and wake himself up, wincing when he touched the part that he had hit. Shifting his position so that he was sitting a little straighter, he looked up at the circle of shinigami in the middle of the floor and blinked a couple times to try and clear his fuzzy vision. "Nnnhhh… Hey guys… howzit goin'?"

"Alright," Hisagi said warily. "How are you feeling?"

"Meh, been better," Renji groaned. "M' vision's blurry, m' face feels like it was cut'n half, an' I think 'm still partly drunk."

Ikkaku smirked. "That's because after you drank almost the entire bottle of sake, you karate chopped your own face and knocked yourself out."

The redhead shook his head slowly. "I don' remember any o' that."

"You were pretty drunk, Renji," Hisagi stated. "By the time we left the office, you were babbling incoherently and smacked my ass on more than one occasion." He shot Renji a sour look.

Renji rubbed his face again to try to clear his head. He pulled his hands away and glanced down at them, doing a double take. "Why's there ink on m' hands??"

Ikkaku grinned. "You said before you started drinking that you wanted to 'drink until your tattoos fell off'. Well guess what?"

"AAAAAH!!!" Renji wiped off his hands as best as he could and patted his forehead rapidly.

"Relax," Hisagi called, "it's 'moustache' ink. Your tattoos are still there."

The redhead panicked even more. "Yeah, but m' banada- badada- bananda- headband isn't!" He patted the area around him. When he didn't find it, he pulled his legs up and hugged himself. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No no no no no, this can't be happenin'! 'At's my fav'rite bananda!" He opened his eyes and looked over at the others, vision finally clearing. He saw Yumi pondering, Hisagi holding one side of something, and Ikkaku holding the other side, along with…

"MADARAME, WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH MY BANANDA?!" Renji screamed. He thrust a hand out and sent a Red Flame Cannon at Ikkaku, hitting the third seat in the head before he could react. Ikkaku fell to the floor, stunned, releasing his grip on the bandana and Kira's arm.

Hisagi quickly manipulated Kira's arm so that the elbow locked and he could control the blonde to a certain extent. Kira's head, still unconscious and now freed, rolled side to side as Hisagi tried desperately to stop Kira's body from swaying. With his mouth unknowingly holding the bandana hostage, Kira's head rolled backwards toward Renji's direction.

Renji was furious.

The redhead shot off another Red Flame Cannon just as Hisagi pulled on Kira's arm, rolling his head back to the front. The blast hit the back of the blonde's head, creating a bunch of smoke.

Yumichika gasped, interrupted from his thought processes. He scooted forward. "No! My hard work!"

A small groan cut through the smoke. Yumichika and Hisagi waved it away to find Kira waking up. The fifth seat leaned in closer to look at the damage Renji caused.

"I don't believe it. It's… It's… It's perfect!"

Not only had the blast awakened the blonde, it gave Kira's hair the body that Yumichika had wanted while leaving the curls intact.

Yumi backed away. "Well, my work here is done. Thank you for your help, Hisagi."

"Oy, what about me?" Ikkaku asked from his position on the floor.

Yumichika stuck his nose in the air. "I was addressing the gentlemen in the room, but considering that one was the subject and another was down for the count, only Shuuhei was left and I didn't want to leave it so impersonal."

Kira, still reeling from the blast, wobbled around, bandana still held captive.

"Bad- Bana- Headband!!!" Renji whined.

Ikkaku peeled himself off the floor. He grabbed the bandana out of Kira's mouth and walked over to Renji. "I'll give you bandana!" He attacked Renji's mouth with it, trying to shove the fabric in as far as it would go.

Renji fought him, disgusted. "Thith hath Kiwa thwobba on id! Gwoth!"

Yumi grabbed the swaying blonde by the shoulders. "Shuuhei, one last favor? Help me get him in bed. He's not going to last much longer."

The two shinigami picked Kira up and shuffled him over to his pallet. Under Yumi's instruction, they set him down on his stomach. As a last touch, Hisagi pulled a blanket over him.

"With him on his stomach, his hair will stay intact," Yumichika stated, smiling. "Now, fellows, let's take our leave and let him sleep."

Hisagi walked over to the corner, where Ikkaku and Renji were locked in bandana battle. Ikkaku kept shoving it in the redhead's mouth, and Renji kept trying to use it to spit shine Ikkaku's head.

"Alright, alright! That's enough!" Hisagi said, separating the two. "Time to go."

"Speaking of," Ikkaku interjected, "can we stop by the bathroom again?"

"But there's a bathroom in here."

"Yumi's in that one."

Hisagi rolled his eyes at the bald man, then turned his attention to Renji, holding out a hand. "Think you can walk, or should I carry you again?"

Renji took his hand, standing up slowly. "I'll be 'k. Jus' watch for me in case I fall b'hind."

Yumichika emerged from Kira's bathroom after replacing his hair care items. Together, they left Kira's chambers and shut the door behind them, allowing the blonde to drift into the dreamy abyss.

A minute later, the door creaked open and a hand appeared in the crack. "It was risky to sneak away, but it's a risk I had to take. This will keep my beautiful creation safe. Bakudou number sixty three, Sajo Sabaku, Locking Bondage Stripes."

Gold chains wrapped around Kira, preventing him from moving. However, the blonde was unfazed and continued to sleep, lightly snoring. Satisfied, the hand retreated and the door closed again, leaving Kira to discover his surprise come morning.

(1) Shout out and shameless plug for Sarah Tay at the Seireitei by Barbellenel.

I'm still taking ideas for hairstyles to subject Kira to. :)