A.N. thank you very much for your reviews(: They're lovely! And I'm glad the songs fit(((:
My Junk-Company
S P R I N GAWAKENING
Chapter 3
Ernst came into school with a huge smile on his face. He was simply radiant. And everyone took notice of his sudden change in demeanor, especially Hanschen. In the back of the room sat Hanschen, back against the chair, arms folded over his chest, with a knowing smirk on his face. He knew he'd be able to wiggle his way into the timid Robel's life. He also had anticipated it would be fairly easy.
With his beaming new appearance, Ernst had not paid any attention to the awkward boy on the floor trying his best to tie his shoelaces. So, he tripped.
"Ernst?! I-I'm so sorry!" cried Moritz, completely embarrassed for causing his friend pain.
"No, Moritz, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking." Ernst smiled happily, for the first time. This had been the first time since he was 7 that Ernst had smiled naturally, and smiled wide, teeth showing. His last memory of smiling so widely was when he received two chocolate cakes for his 7th birthday when his parents, through miscommunication, ordered two separate cakes for him.
"E-Ernst? You seem quite happy today."
The two boys stood up together and Ernst nodded back, "I am. I'm not really sure why though."
In actuality, Ernst did know why, he just didn't know how to cover it up with a lie. It concerns one fateful afternoon with a certain boy in the same room.
Moritz walked Ernst over to Melchior's desk where he was preoccupied with reading. The book itself was one of many banned novels that he had found disposing of trash in the dumpster in the alley behind the town's market.
"Melchi, doesn't Ernst seem different to you today?"
He looked up from his book only to be awestruck. Ernst was smiling. The smile was so bright it had caused The Melchior Gabor to become flushed in the face. He immediately looked back down and buried his nose in his novel, "Why, yes, he does seem different. Did you cut your hair?" What?
Ernst gave a quizzical look, one only Moritz could see, "No."
"Oh, then you've changed the way you comb it?" Melchior recovered. Stop it, stop this instant!
"Melchi," Moritz started, "he didn't change ph-ph-physically."
"Oh, then I must be blind." Melchior wanted to mentally slap himself.
In truth, the self-proclaimed philosopher had always fancied Ernst. Ever since he found the book of Greek and Roman Mythology, he had become fascinated with the idea of a man being with another man. It certainly did arouse interest in him. Though, he's never told anyone, not even Moritz. Yes, he loved speaking his mind, but SOME things are best kept secret.
Ever since then, he's always thought of Ernst as the ideal boy to which he could experiment the whole 'homosexuality' thing with. He was docile, modest, and had a certain cuteness to his whole being. Melchior was certainly a softy for a softy. But this was just not his day. He was caught so off-guard by Ernst's newfound smile that his brain had no time to function properly.
Ernst on the other hand, was clearly disappointed, if not hurt by Melchior's seeming disinterest in him. For a split second his smile faded back into the lonely, grimace his face once bore, but it quickly rejuvenated.
"Well, I better sit down."
Ernst turned on his heel and sat down at his desk, masking the hurt he felt in his body.
S P R I N GAWAKENING
"Girls! You'll never believe what I saw on my way here this morning!" Thea exclaimed as she ran into the classroom. Frau Mueller had made a fast recovery and became annoyed with Thea's vivid outburst.
"What was it, Thea?" Wendla asked softly.
"Ernst Robel!"
Anna, Martha, and Wendla all looked to each other before unanimously asking, "What?"
Thea continued, "I know, I know, you've seen him to, but not like this!"
"How did he look like?" asked Anna, evidently intrigued.
"He looked…appealing!"
The three girls gasped as Thea covered her mouth. Without warning, Frau Mueller approached Thea's side, "What looked appealing?"
Thea looked up and smiled innocently, "Oh, my bed."
Frau Mueller dropped her jaw in shock, "Excuse me, young lady?!"
Thea shook her head vigorously, "I meant, it looked so comfortable when I tidied it up this morning, I just wanted to go back in and sleep some more!"
Frau Mueller, obviously buying into the lie, frowned, "Well, over-sleeping when one is not ill is not proper etiquette. Especially for a young woman still growing, who will later be married off to a man who will expect a diligent upkeep with household chores."
With that said, she walked away in a huff. The girls all sighed and looked to Thea, bothered by the fact that they were almost written up for a demerit because of her, again. Gossiping is one thing, but to speak of such 'sinful' thoughts, such as which boy was cuter, aloud in front of an adult is an outrage.
"Thea, please, control yourself." Anna tried her best to coax her.
Thea whimpered, "I'm sorry! I try, really! It's just, oh! You should have seen him, smiling so brightly! He lit up the street!"
Thea:
In the midst of this nothing, this miss of a life/
still there's this wanting just to see you go by/
"Well, boys do have a way of getting to us," Martha replied dreamily, "like the eyes of that sad, soulful, Moritz Steifel."
"Moritz Steifel?!" Thea shrieked.
"I will not warn you again, young lady!" Yelled Frau Mueller irritated.
Martha:
It's almost like lovin', sad as that is/
Wendla:
May not be cool, but it's so where I live/
"I don't know about Moritz Steifel, but certainly Melchior Gabor is one to swoon over." Anna replied.
Anna:
It's like I'm your lover, or more like your ghost/
I spend the day wond'ring what you do/where you go/
Thea:
I try and just kick it/but then what can I do?/
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you/
Girls:
See us winter walkin' after a storm/its chill in the wind/
Anna and Thea:
But it's warm in your arms/
Girls:
We stop all snow line/may not be true/
we've all got our junk, and my junk is you/
Melchior, Melchior. In all honesty, THIS is when you choose to become tongue-tied? Speak your mind for anything that will cause pain, and once the opportunity presents itself to cast praise at Ernst Robel, you fail. Fail miserably. The boy could not get over his horrible incident. He wanted nothing more than to huddle in a corner by himself. He even preferred to be hit by Herr Sonnenstich's switch if it meant calming his nerves.
The smirk on Hanschen's face never faded. Desdemona, you're going to have to take leave for tonight.
Melchior:
Well, you'll have to excuse me/sorry I was off/
your beauty shot through me, your smile was enough/
Hanschen:
I'll go up to my room, turn my stereo on/shoot up some you,
and the you is some song/
Wendla:
I lie back just driftin'/and play out these scenes/
I ride on the rush of all the hopes, all the dreams/
Anna:
I may be neglecting the things I should do/
but we've all got our junk, and my junk is you/
Girls & Boys:
See, we still keep talkin' after you're gone/
you still with me then/
Hanschen and Melchior:
Feels so good in my arms/
Girls & Boys:
They say you go blind/maybe its true/
we've all got our junk, and my junk is you/oh!/
It's like we stop time/what can I do?/We've all got our junk,
and my junk is you/my junk is you/you, you, you//
Then it dawned on him.
"He's a…different kind of person."
Could it be that Melchior was warning Ernst to steer clear of Hanschen because he knew of Hanschen's attraction to men? Could it be that Melchior was not into that sort of thing? Then it hit him again. God. Ernst had remembered the lecture about so-called 'homosexual' relations. They were wrong. Melchior was trying to protect Ernst from Hanschen's evil and corrupt way of thinking. At first, Ernst smiled at the thought. After thinking it over some more, it hurt. As immoral as it was, Ernst had liked it when Hanschen kissed him. In fact, Ernst wanted the same action from Melchior himself. But if what he thought was correct, then Melchior would condemn him, as would his family, and worse, the Church. As he contemplated the subject further within the confines of his mind, Ernst sunk lower and lower into his chair.