Frisky

Summary: They all thought he had no hormones. They could have testified against their existence in the presence of the Holy Courts. Until she helped prove them wrong. Ryoma and Sakuno.

Two-shot

Apocalyptic Actions.

After the dress incident, this began to spin out of control for Prince Amoeba, err- Ryoma.

The resident teen heartthrob had been discovered to be as hormonally driven as the rest of them, with the way he had reacted to the sight of Sakuno, who had been forced into the dress by the well-meaning Tomoka, in a scanty red sundress that was small enough to leave almost nothing to the imagination.

Though his first reaction, or second if you count the double take, was to stare, he had instantly grown angry at every other man who dared to stare at the innocent Ryuuzaki, who was still unaware of the effect her body would have on any man dumb enough to even so much as glance (the coach's daring stare made up for a whole army of bodyguards Sakuno needed to keep the hoards of sex crazy men off of her).

With a dash that would have put a racing cheetah to shame, he was at her side in the blink of an eye and covering her in his large high school team jersey. Which, sad to say, was longer than that damn dress Sakuno was wearing at that time.

He had then dragged her to the locker rooms, determined to make her see that there was absolutely no rhyme and no reason to what she was doing until she promptly told him that her uniform was soaked, her gym clothes were missing, and that what she was wearing was all Tomoka had to let her borrow that day. After her friend hand seen her in it, she'd gone a little stir crazy until poor Sakuno had ended up looking like she was and because she had promised him a bento, she had headed for the tennis courts, then she'd gotten lost, and had ended up with a crowd of drooling students on her heels as she looked fruitlessly for the tennis courts and finally found them. Which explained the large crowd and the noise around the courts.

With a sigh, Ryoma had shoved his Seigaku pants (it was kind of cold, he justified), the extra white Seigaku polo he kept in his locker for emergencies, a pair of old tennis shoes he dug out of his bag he'd forgotten to ever remove two years ago, and pushed her into the locker room while he stood guard at the door. When she only squeaked, some habits were hard to break, he ordered her to change and to be quick about it because he was quite hungry.

That tale had instantly become an urban legend among the population in the campus and had exploded into an all new argument on Ryoma's sexuality. Had he just covered her and dragged her away angrily, no rumors would have been spread. After all, they were friends and Ryoma was known to be quite protective of Sakuno. (Sumire was the SP that safeguarded the sexy Sakuno while Ryoma was the big, black and tan mongrel of a dog that stood between anyone and his mistress. It was rumored that this was because Sakuno was just too cute and also because she cooked very, very well.)

However, before he did any of that, not only had he done a double take, he had stared. Of all things he could have done, he STARED at Sakuno like she had just grown a second head, wore a funny hat with matching clothes, and was dancing around with a large pink bear.

Stared at her like this was the first time he'd ever seen her and was thinking of something other than tennis or sleep or Karupin for once in his life.

The fan girls were just so proud.

For weeks Poor Prince Ryoma lived in constant fear that he would be jumped on and suffocated by another one of these rabid girls who would stop at nothing to try to seduce him and make the once-amoeba hers. Of course, after some near-death encounters, Ryoma had ended up arming himself up with his racket, some pepper spray, and salt to keep them away. And because they tended to pop up randomly, with no trace of a pattern or processed thought or anything in between, he was forced to carry them around at all times.

Tezuka had noticed a decrease in the Prince's reaction time during practice, especially when it came to a surprise attack, but decided to mention it since Ryoma looked as frazzled as a single mother of ten at the end of her rope.

The only other female apart from the adults in his life and his cousin Ryoma seemed to ever relax around was the source of the problem herself: Sakuno.

Many girls envied her and tried desperately to hurt her because of her relationship with the Prince of Tennis. However, thanks to her background and her large family, Sakuno was well versed in the art of pranks and could normally smell one from a mile away… normally.

This wasn't the case, however, when she and Ryoma were tricked into being in a room with a dysfunctional lock, and of all the things under the sun that could have happened… the worst did.

The door closed, and they were stuck, alone and uncomfortably hot in a tiny little room with no air conditioning and useless windows that were only there for show. Three stories up and with no way out, Sakuno and Ryoma had no hope of even asking the snickering duo (Ryoma guessed, correctly, that it was Momoshiro and Eiji) for help. And knowing how the howling hyenas reasoned, they wouldn't be getting help any time soon.

While Sakuno panicked on what to do, how to get out, and God oh God don't let the oxygen deplete, Ryoma wondered vaguely if Tezuka would force him to run laps. Knowing his stony captain, the possibility was more than just plausible. Even if he told him why he was late, the man of all hours would probably look like it was all beneath him and simply order the evil kadevil perpetrators to run with him.

And then, he would be royally screwed. He normally wouldn't fear Takeshi or Eiji, even when put together. However, there were many blind spots between their usual lap route and the courts, and two against one when both opponents were bigger (one stronger the other faster) than you were never good odds. He was vengeful, but not suicidal. His revenge could be taken in a different way shape and form, and he was willing to put his skills in tennis on the line in a bet that he would get his revenge against the in a very, VERY painful manner.

He had, after all, the whole afternoon to think vile thoughts.

"Hey, Ryoma," Sakuno interrupted his Machiavellianism-like plotting with her sweet voice. They were both far past the point of using suffixes or surnames for one another. In public, she still often called him Ryoma-kun because she deemed it inappropriate to call him so intimately in front of so many people. However, in private, she called him as she pleased.

He looked up, putting up an annoyed front when he was anything but. He could never be annoyed at her, no matter how much he tried. Not the first time he met her, and especially not now. But he didn't like the thought of breaking up their friendship if she went head-over-heels for him and started to act like the rabid mass of… things, not even girls anymore, that seemed to love following him everywhere.

Humming in response when she didn't reply with just his eyes on her like she normally would, she knew his every gesture by memory but was hesitant to speak, Ryoma watched her fidget as she sat down opposite of him against the wall.

"How… how have you been these past few weeks? Y-you don't look too good, Ryoma," she usually didn't stutter when she spoke to him anymore, unless she was saying something she thought embarrassing or he was watching her too intensely.

Ryoma smirked, she sounded as nervous as she looked, and plopped down, placing his feet against hers gamely. She smiled at the move, and pushed her legs toward him while he pushed back. "It's been annoying having all of those girls throw themselves at me and ask for the most outrageous things," he sighed as Sakuno giggled in his expense, "you wouldn't believe what some of them have been saying recently."

"Try me," Sakuno dared, buckling one of her legs and playing bicycle despite the fact that she was wearing a skirt. Ryoma's eyes stayed diligently on her face, ignoring the occasional flash of a pink panty at the corner of his eyes.

With his best female squeaky voice, he began. "Ryoma-sama, let's go on a date! Ryoma-sama, marry me! Ryoma-sama, sign my boobs! Ryoma-sama, let's make love! Ryoma-sama, I want to have your children! Ryoma-sama! Ryoma-sama!" By the time he finished, Sakuno was laughing so hard she'd fallen over.

He smirked, delighting in the fact that he was one of the few people that could make her laugh like this so openly. In the past, Sakuno would only giggle discreetly, but as their friendship grew, he realized that, like all other girls, Sakuno could fall into a hysterical fit of laughter just like everyone else, you just had to know which buttons to push.

"Ryoma, you imitate them so poorly!" she protested, speaking up for the Desperate Dogs who hunted her best friend with the determination of a blood hound while he avoided them like a plague in the Old Ages.

"No, no, I think I got them just about right," he refuted, looking quite thoughtful when in fact he was doing everything in his power not to smile as Sakuno fell into a giggling fit all over again.

She continued to laugh, while Ryoma egged her chuckles on with inappropriate comments and more pathetic imitations of the girls who wouldn't leave him alone and demanded such insane things from a fifteen year old boy who was soon to be sixteen.

Then he said it, what had been on his mind the first time he'd ever seen her laugh. He said it quietly, softly, but his mistake was that he said it in a small room where even the smallest of sounds could be heard by all. "God, you're beautiful when you laugh."

She instantly stopped laughing, and it was her turn to stare. She stared at him, of all of the things she could have done, and said absolutely nothing. She STARED at him like he'd shaved his head, was streaking, wore a sign that said 'FREE KISSES', and had a pet Iguana with Magical Powers.

Hm, he wondered, where DO you find Iguana's with Magical Powers, anyway? If he ever found one, he was totally naming it Ignacio.

Back to the future! Err- present, Ryoma only stared back at Sakuno who was busy wondering if she heard right, wondering what in the Name of all that was Tennis he meant by it if she had, wondering why her dumb old heart wouldn't stop beating so loudly when she had sworn she'd given up on her love for Ryoma long ago… when he said "we're just friends"…

Wondering why she had the mysterious urge to cry.

Deciding what would be the best course of action, as a friend, Sakuno merely smiled with enough cheek to fill up a blimp and bowed comically in her seated position. "Thank you!"

Ryoma wondered vaguely why he felt so desperately disappointed in her reaction. He also wondered what on Earth had possessed her to wear pink underwear that day. With the minimal light and the dark color of her uniform, with the way she was seated, it was all he could see even when trying to stare at her face.

Now that she was bowing, it took every ounce of willpower to force his eyes to stay where he knew her face would be once she got up.

"Sit up straight before you make a fool out of yourself, stupid," he told her pseudo coldness, and because he kept his eyes off of her, he failed to see her flinch.

She sat up and they stayed in a comfortable silence for a while, Ryoma staring at the ceiling while Sakuno stared at her hands. After a couple of minutes, Sakuno got bored of fiddling with her hands. "Ryoma, I know you're not asexual, as they say, but why don't you ever go out on dates?"

Ryoma instantly lost count of the cracks in the ceiling he'd been enumerating, and his amber eyes slid down to gaze at the only girl not in his family or an adult that he found slightly less annoying than the rest. Sure, she had some habits he found extremely exasperating at first, but after such a long time with her at his side, such habits had become endearing to him in ways he had never imagined they could ever be.

One of the habits he still found slightly frustrating, though, was her need to always be doing something… just like his mother. (She was like a shark, constantly on the move. Sometimes he wondered if she came from a fish-background, but she'd only growled at him when he had asked.) If Sakuno found nothing to do, she turned to the one thing most women found to be like their seconds nature: TALK.

He shrugged, knowing that if he didn't answer, she would either stare at him until he did or keep pestering him about the subject, even actually teasing him. Sometimes he regretted having given her a backbone in order to defend herself, it gave her the freedom of cutting him up with her tongue if she pleased.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully, gazing at his hands. "I mean, it's not like I hate girls or something, it's just that I don't see the point, the need, to be in a relationship."

"Don't you want to be loved?" she asked him, putting her feet against his again, but no pressure behind them.

"Not really," he said, shrugging yet again. "I mean, I have enough with my mother and cousin around, and they're rather tiresome. Plus, I have you, so what am I missing out?"

The dark light prevented him from seeing the slight blush on Sakuno's face, but not the slight downward twist of her pretty lips.

"Seriously, you're not ever curious?" Ryoma made a face as she repeated herself. Usually she wasn't this determined to see a subject through.

"Look," he sighed, staring straight into her eyes. "If I haven't experienced it, I won't miss it. If I don't miss it, I don't need it. What's so fun about kissing and hugging anyway?"

Sakuno snorted at his immature statement, thoroughly disagreeing for reasons she had thought she'd left behind. "It's actually very, very nice," she informed him with a matter of fact tone, and because she turned away, she missed the jealous twitch of his hands and the angry furrowing of his brow.

"How do you know?" he hissed in a low voice, annoyed with both himself and the bastard who dared to kiss her. With himself because he was getting jealous over something as trivial as a kiss… no, he was angry because he was actually jealous when he shouldn't be. And with the moron who kissed her because he touched what belonged to him and him alone.

"Hm?" Sakuno asked, turning back to face him when she didn't hear his question. She was biting her bottom lip, and for a moment Ryoma forgot what he was going to say.

Why do you do this to me..?

"How do you know?" he repeated, this time louder and gritting his teeth so he wouldn't do anything stupid that would give his feelings away, like start screaming or something equally idiotic. Or kiss her, because she looked too damn good bathed in shadows and biting her own lip saucily.

Sakuno rolled her eyes, "because I've kissed guys before, stupid." She made that one single statement both belittle him and piss him off because, first, how dare she, and two, HOW DARE SHE?

"Oh?" Sakuno was good at reading Ryoma, and she knew that cowering before him then would have been a dumb thing to do. That would have been like turning your back on and screaming as you run away from a bear. Dumb and just DUMB. She might be dense and often clueless, but she wasn't as dim as a bucket of rocks. On the contrary, most teachers would argue that Sakuno was borderline brilliant. However, at that very moment, she chose the wrong thing to do.

She nodded nonchalantly and ignored the survival instincts that told her to laugh and say "just kidding!" She might as well have bathed herself in blood and have Julius Cesar throw her into a Pit of Lions with what she had just done.

Ryoma's eyes were screaming for blood. And though it wasn't for her own, she was the only one in the room and a kiss usually takes two.

"So that means you've gotten down and dirty before, hm?" Sakuno stared at him like he'd just asked her if he could wear her bra on his head. Her eyes clearly said 'are you insane?' but Ryoma ignored it in favor for looking quite pleased with the turn of events as he got on his knees and loomed over her like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. "So that means you've got more experience than I do."

It came as more of a shock that Sakuno thought it did. Sure, Ryoma was known for his asexual behavior, but this was ridiculous! He had just said, in a roundabout way, that he'd never even had his first kiss while she, on the other hand, had been kissed thrice. Suddenly, though, as he closed the distance between them with the slowness of a tiger on his prey, he seemed much more intimidating and a hundred times sexier than normal.

"Teach me, O so Experienced One." He said harshly, preparing himself for the lunge as he caged her head with both arms.

And he descended upon her like an eagle on its afternoon meal: quick, determined, undeterred.

Hard.

Sakuno could hardly breathe as he showed her just how versatile he was with every single extension on his body, including that able tongue he usually used to cut down his opponents. She could do nothing more than just melt under his assault and let the feelings she had for him overwhelm her as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down to seat him between her parted legs, molding her body against his deliciously.

Ryoma groaned into her mouth. She was just so inviting, so soft, so hot, that he couldn't help himself and he kissed her with every ounce of fierceness he had, and if you include his tennis prowess, he had a lot of fierceness to give.

As their kiss deepened, becoming more like a lovers tangle than a childish French Kiss most girls couldn't even dream about when it came to Ryoma, the door suddenly opened and light poured into the room, along with two distinct cackles and a cold voice Ryoma could recognize anywhere.

"Feeling frisky, are we, Ryoma?" Tezuka asked, glaring down at the prodigy through his glasses. "Why not, then, put that energy to use and run one hundred laps?"

Ryoma groaned as if the Apocalypse had just arrived, gave Sakuno a look that showed a promise for lessons later on (and made her hot all over again), and set off to run his laps as instructed.

Tezuka turned to Eiji and Momoshiro, who had yet to stop laughing at Sakuno's dazed expression, "You too, Momoshiro, Eiji. Run one hundred laps."

They moaned in disdain and set out, complaining all the while: THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!

The End.

Ehe… I love you?

Also done in less than five minutes. Don't you just love rushed crap?