AN - I own nothing! I'm just borrowing from J.K. Rowling!

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Chapter 19

Hermione leaned against the doorframe that opened out to the balcony as she stared up at the stars. The night was still young and there were a great many stars twinkling above. When her eyes quickly caught sight of a shooting star, she gasped in surprise. With a hand on her stomach, she thought about Severus.

Where was he? What was he doing? He had most likely changed his name and moved. Even though she had given her word and promised not to reveal that he was alive, he most probably hadn't taken her word and trusted her. It was hard to gain his trust and who was she to him anyways? She knew where she stood. There was no point in changing that. Regardless, she still loved the man, and he would never know it.

Before the star had vanished and moved elsewhere, she made her wish. Wherever Severus was, she wished that he would find his happiness, whatever it was, and whomever it may be with. She loved him, and let him go when she knew there was nothing between them. Wasn't that the way it was supposed to be? If you loved someone, you have to learn how to let them go?

"I said I wasn't hungry," Hermione sniffled when she heard the door open behind her. Earlier a house elf had come to tell her that dinner was served, but she was in no mood to eat. There was no doubt in her mind that it was one of the Malfoys asking her to come down.

"I brought you all your favorite Chinese takeout," Severus said as he closed the door behind him. When he saw the small dining table for two not far from Hermione's bed, he glided towards it, setting all the paper bags down.

Hermione stiffened as she stopped breathing for a moment. No! Her ears had to be deceiving her. She recognized that voice all too well. Slowly, she turned around, and soon saw Severus standing there.

"Lucius said you hadn't been eating well," Severus said, unsure of how he was going to apologize to her. Was she angry? Was she going to explode at him?

"Severus, I swear, I didn't say anything," Hermione explained. She knew how he could get angry. "I didn't tell anyone you were alive."

"I know. It was Lucius who found me." His eyes then saw the roundness of her stomach. He still couldn't believe it. Hermione was carrying his child. "He would've joined us up here, but now, he's tending to his wife. She and Draco were too shocked to see me, and Narcissa fainted to the floor."

Hermione saw Severus' gaze travel to her stomach. Nervously, she crossed her arms over it, covering it up. There was a look in his eyes that she never saw before, as well as a softness in them. There was no impassiveness about him, so she tried to read what emotions she saw. One of them was concern, but she wasn't too sure.

"Hermione… I'm sorry." There was a certain amount of uneasiness in his voice.

"For what?" she sniffled. She was still teary eyed.

"For pushing you away when you needed me. Lucius and I went to Greg. He told us about everything." His feet were firmly planted on the floor. However, he wanted to rush towards Hermione and pull her into his arms. Severus never knew exactly how much he had missed her until now. Still, he remained at his spot, not sure how she was going to react.

Hermione shook her head. "It's not your fault. It's mine."

"What?"

"It's my fault," she repeated. "The last time you were at my place, we fought. You warned me, and I said things. Things that made you angry and caused you to walk away. Things that… made me regret.

"Even though you warned me, I still went. Stupid me for trying to look for comfort with Adam, when I should've known better. Obviously, we know how things turned out. So, I've been trying to live with my mistakes.

"Every night, I have nightmares about him. Even some in which he's actually raping me. And every night as well, I think about you. You holding me close, keeping me safe. I should've taken your warning into consideration."

"Then why didn't you tell me right away when you came to me?" Severus asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I tried, I really did, but you pushed me away. It's like you said, we were just fuck buddies and nothing more."

"Do you really think that I don't give a shit about you?!" Severus asked in anger, raising his voice.

Hermione flinched by the way he reacted. Then she shook her head. "At first you did, and later on, I realized my mistakes fully. You didn't want me anymore, and pushed me away. Then again, maybe you never really wanted me at all." Hermione brought her arms up and hugged herself, turning away, looking outside. She couldn't look at him, feeling more tears flow out of her eyes. "I meant what I said Severus, every word of it. I want you to be happy in your life—the unconditional type of happiness. All I know is—I'm not good enough for you."

"How could you say that?" he asked in shock.

Hermione turned to look at him. "We never made any commitments Severus. We never said that we were anything. Husband and wife at the top of the list. Friends somewhere in the middle. Lovers above that. And at the bottom… fuck buddies. Like you said, that's what we were." She bit her lip and turned away. She could feel herself wanting and needing to cry, but she remembered Severus' words to her before, so she refused to.

Severus slowly walked towards Hermione. When he was right in front of her, he first placed his hand on her arm, testing to see if she would push him away. When she didn't, he moved closer, until their bodies were touching.

Hermione closed her eyes, liking the feel of him next to her. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but was afraid that in some way, she would look too clingy, and she didn't want to cross that line. Instead, she kept her hands on her arms, gripping herself tightly.

"You are too stubborn for your own good, you know that?" Severus murmured softly into her ear.

"Then say that I'm stupid, and that you don't want me. You always seem to complain to me anyways."

"What do you want Hermione?" Severus asked. "Tell me."

"You know what I want. And it's something that I can't have."

Severus cupped a hand beneath her face, and made her face him. "Tell me."

"I want you…" she finally answered as she looked up at him. "But it's wrong for you to just be with me because I'm pregnant. I don't even know if you want this baby. I will not force you into anything that might make you unhappy. I can take care of myself and the baby. You shouldn't feel obligated." She pulled her face away from his grasp, and turned to look outside again.

Severus slowly moved his arms around Hermione, and pulled her against his body as he embraced her. He planted a small kiss on temple and then asked, "What if everything that makes me happy is in my arms right now?"

Instantly, a chord was struck inside Hermione. She broke down into tears immediately and wrapped her arms around Severus, burying her face into his chest. Everything in the world seemed to fall right into place for her. She felt safe in Severus' arms, and most of all, her wish came true.

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AN – More sweetness to come. Please give me some in return and review!