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After their lunch break Wilson had an appointment with the parents of one of his cancer kids. The boy was close to be terminal and Wilson's last hope was a new therapy that was still in try out.
On his way back to his office the oncologist thought about House's behavior in the morning.
He had been a jerk but at least he didn't insult any patients, only colleagues.
But this was different. So he stopped his friend in front of the door.
"House, we need to talk", he started and his buddy already rolled his eyes.
"I know this is a bet and we obviously forgot to put up some rules. So you can do whatever you want to compromise my dignity or whatever. But there's one thing that is sacred to me. Don't take this out on my patients, alright? This kid will probably die. After he fought 5 of his 11 years against his cancer he will die. So behave yourself for once!"
House raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure you want to trust me here? It's the perfect opportunity for me to screw you. I don't know if I can let this pass by."
Wilson took a deep breath and looked at the floor for a moment.
"House, even you couldn't be such a bastard, right? And if you can then there's no need for this bet anymore because I don't want to be friends with such an asshole! Got it?"
"Of all the things I've done this is where you draw the line? I mean, I killed your girlfriend, I made you lie to the cops for me and I constantly insult you. Some people think I ruined your marriages as well and this is where you draw the line?", House wondered.
"Just shut up and don't make me proof it, alright?"
House realized how serious Wilson was about this.
"Ok", he mumbled eventually.
Wilson was so good in his job especially in the taking care part. House didn't really envy his buddy's skills because he didn't want any contact with his patients anyway but it impressed him how Wilson gave this family new hope although their son's live was in the balance. He was competent even with the guest on his left hand.
The oncologist explained the therapy and informed them that they had to do some minor surgery first.
The boy looked scared. He was used to hospitals and all sorts of procedures but surgery was still frightening the hell out of him. His mother tried to calm him down.
"Will you be chained to that guy in the OR as well?", he asked now nervously.
House smirked.
"Don't worry. You know Dr. Wilson for so long. Has he ever screwed up anything?"
The boy shook his head.
"See, plus I'll be there and make sure he finds your liver instead of your kidneys, alright?"
This time the boy nodded and smiled.
Wilson looked surprised at his friend.
"Ok, I think we are done so far. I see you guys in the morning", he finally said and left the room with his buddy.
"That was very nice of you, House", Wilson said when they walked down the hall.
"The boy nearly cried. That would have been annoying and we would have never gotten out of there", House mumbled.
Still Wilson smiled. He knew it was just an alibi.
Unfortunately it was time for their clinic duty now.
"You want first or shall I?", Wilson asked when they entered the clinic.
"What?"
"We got two hours, one for each of us. You can treat patients now or in an hour, what do you want?"
"I want you to do both hours. You have to be there anyway and you care for them. I could bring my little TV."
Wilson chuckled. "Nice try." He handed him a file. "You go first."
House rolled his eyes.
Cuddy watched her two department heads when they showed up in the clinic at 2.05 pm. Only 5 minutes late. Impressive. But obviously they had a disagreement about something. House looked annoyed and Wilson finally shoved a file into his hand.
Cuddy really had fun watching those two.
Now Wilson spotted her and walked over dragging House behind him. But House still had that file in his hand together with his cane so he dropped his wooden friend.
"Hold it, idiot!", he yelled and stopped forcing Wilson to do the same.
Cuddy shook her head. Slapstick comedy for the entire clinic.
Eventually the two arrived together with House's cane and the file.
"We need to talk", Wilson told his boss.
Cuddy grinned.
"Thanks for the entertainment, boys."
House looked annoyed and gave her his pissed off smirk.
"I have a problem with this bet", Wilson went on.
"Only one? Is it 6'3'' and unshaved?", Cuddy wondered.
"I have to do some minor surgery in the morning. I'm gonna need both hands."
Cuddy raised her eyebrows. "Then maybe you should give up."
House laughed. "Way to go, sister. See, that's why I don't do procedures myself."
"Because your boss could come up with a lunatic bet that puts you on a leash for a week?", Wilson wondered.
"Exactly. Why don't you send one of your genius residents? So we could sleep late tomorrow."
Cuddy interrupted them.
"Ok, Wilson. I see your dilemma. Do the procedure but House stays in the OR with you. When you scrub he will stand right next to the sink and when you do the surgery he can assist you", Cuddy offered.
"Oh come on, Cuddy. Make him give up and we can all have a life again", House whined.
Cuddy turned to Wilson. "Tell you what. Take your time tomorrow."
Then she got out the keys for the handcuffs. "Just in case you want to give up, House. But remember, I got eyes and ears everywhere."
"You mean that lousy PI that follows us around? Tell him to improve his skills, we see him all the time."
Instead of the PI House and Wilson finally saw their first patient.
"What's the matter with you guys?", the old lady asked them when they entered the exam room.
"I want a real doctor not a bunch of crazy people."
House smirked. "Fine", he said and turned around but his better half stopped him.
"Believe me, Ma'am. We are doctors. This is just a little experiment."
House interfered.
"Wilson, the lady obviously wants to see a colleague so let her. We are out of here."
"Wait a second", she told him. "I don't have time all day. I've already waited 2 hours. If you guys went to a med school I'm satisfied. See, I have this rash on my back. Goes down all the way to my... you know what I mean."
"Sure we do, Ma'am. Dr. Wilson will take a look immediately", House told her.
Wilson gave him an annoyed look but inspected the nice lady's back.
There was already some puss developing. It was definitely a weeping rash.
"Hmm, I'm not sure. What do you think, Dr. House?", Wilson asked him and forced him to take a look as well.
"I think it's disgusting!", he just said.
"House!", Wilson said shocked but the old bird fought her own fights. Without hesitating she turned around and slapped him across his face.
"Where are your manners, boy?", she yelled and raised her hand again but Wilson held her back.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am. You got that all wrong. What my friend here meant is that it is frustrating that a nice woman like you has to suffer from such an annoying rash."
She looked at him really skeptically. "Are you kidding me, son?"
"No, no. Let me just write you a prescription for some antibiotics and a lotion and it'll be fine in no time."
He wrote it down and handed it over.
The old woman got up and shook her head.
"These young people are really crazy nowadays. And you really should watch your language", she told House and got out.
As soon as she closed the door behind her Wilson couldn't held it back. He burst out laughing.
"I can see the shape of her hand on your cheek. That was terrific."
"It's frustrating to see her suffer from such a rash??? What's the matter with you? Damn old lady!", House mumbled and rubbed his cheek. She might be old but she still had power in that arm.
"Actually I wonder this doesn't happen more often", Wilson said. "Come on, next patient. Maybe I can watch a nice punch."
But Wilson got disappointed. The other patients didn't get violent although House had some snappy comments for them.
Half an hour later Wilson was convinced that they could spend their time more useful around that place. So House got his little TV and they occupied an exam room for the rest of their clinic duty. They did this often enough anyway so why not today when they had to spend their time together anyway?
Finally they returned to the department of diagnostic medicine.
"How are you guys doing?", Taub greeted them.
"We are fine, I think", Wilson told him.
"The patient is still alive?", House asked him.
"Of course", Thirteen told him, "but his kidneys are failing now. Maybe we shouldn't just concentrate on his heart."
"What did the neuro test say?"
"Nothing. We still couldn't find the cause of his tachycardia", Foreman explained.
House browsed the file again. He must have missed something, anything. Maybe just some minor information nobody would care about. But often enough these are the things that made the difference between life and death.
"Take care for his kidneys, keep them alive as long as possible", he told his team, grabbed the file and got up. He looked at Wilson.
"Now I need to do some office work."
Wilson knew House spent many nights in his office pondering about his cases but he never got an inside look because usually nobody was supposed to disturb him.
First they sat behind the desk while House took one more look at the file. Next he inspected the MRI files again and stood in front of the screen for half an hour. Wilson got bored after 5 minutes. He couldn't find anything unusual on those images.
Finally House gave it up, too and went on playing with his red ball. He threw it again the wall over and over again. Now Wilson was bored and annoyed about the repeating sound of the ball bumping against the wall. For the oncologist this was a mixture of fascination and boredom.
He was amazed about the way House was sucked into his thought process. How much effort he put into this case. But he was bored when House didn't move at all for a while.
House didn't say a word until he got hungry two hours later and they ordered some pizza.
Of course Wilson paid for it. They ate while House scanned some books.
"How long is this gonna take, House?", Wilson finally interrupted him an hour later.
House shrugged. "No idea. Usually until I have my epiphany."
"Is there any chance you get it now? I'm tired and I need to go to the bathroom."
House got out the key for the handcuffs. "Feel free to leave anytime."
"Are you really pondering about this case or is this just some other lunatic game of yours to drive me nuts?", the oncologist asked him.
"Luckily I can do both at the same time", the diagnostician told him.
"House, you can do this everywhere. Can we go home now?"
"Can you shut up, please? I'm thinking here!"
"Yeah, and I get bored to death here so let's go."
"I'm sorry there are doctors who have real work to do. My patient can't be helped by sitting at his side and holding his hand."
Wilson got upset. "What are you saying here?"
"I'm saying that nobody cares whether you do a good job or not. When a patient dies nobody comes and blames you because they died of cancer. It's not the doctor's fault when someone dies of cancer, right?"
Wilson couldn't believe it. "Are you out of your mind? I'm trying to help these people. Yes, I give a crap about people and I won't apologize for it. At least I don't treat only one patient a week."
House didn't know why he did this. But Wilson annoyed the hell out of him right now. It had only been 30 hours and he was already pissed off. It wasn't Wilson's fault and he knew it but still he wished he could have some time for himself. Taking the bike for a ride or something. But that was off-limits 5 more days.
And this case got to him as well. They had this patient for 4 days now and still they had hardly found out anything. Usually an all-nighter would solve this or at least bring up some new information but Wilson disturbed his thought process although the oncologist wasn't even aware of it.
House rubbed his forehead now.
"Right, I'm sorry you wonder oncologist. My department is ridiculous since we only save 4 people a month, right? Thank God you cleared this one out."
"Oh shut up, House!", Wilson yelled now. He jumped up and grabbed House by his arm.
"It's bad enough to listen to all that crap but I won't do it here!"
House was surprised when Wilson suddenly got violent
"Hey, relax buddy", he said but Wilson was furious now.
"I'm not your buddy right now", the oncologist said and shoved House's cane in his hands.
"We are leaving now!", Wilson said and dragged him behind him.
House gave it up. With his handicap he couldn't really resist against Wilson's effort.
They entered the parking garage and found Wilson's car.
"Open it up", Wilson ordered but House just shrugged.
"I have no keys."
"You had them this morning. What did you do?"
"They are on my desk. I didn't know we were leaving now."
Wilson rolled his eyes.
"Tell me this is a joke!"
But House smirked and shook his head. "Sorry. What can you expect from a dump diagnostician? We can't be all as smart as you."
"You know, there's something I can do really good with my right hand", Wilson said now.
"Yeah, you proved that in the shower that morning you nasty pervert", House chuckled but without another word Wilson punched him in the face. House went down and due to their cuffed hands he took Wilson with him. Finally they lied next to each other on the concrete floor in the garage.
House checked his right cheekbone. Wilson didn't say anything. He hated violence but right that moment he felt better.
Finally House chuckled.
"The old lady hit me harder than you did", he told his friend.
They both just laughed for a moment.
"Can we please go home now?", Wilson finally asked.
House groaned. "I doubt it. I will never get up again."
He searched for his cell phone and called his department.
"Taub, get Wilson's keys from my desk and get them down here in the parking lot", he ordered his employee and hung up.
"I doubt it I'll still be awake when he gets here", Wilson said and yawned.
"No wonder. With his short legs it'll take him forever."
It took Taub 5 minutes to find his boss. Mostly because he didn't expect the two department heads lying on the floor. He looked surprised but didn't ask any questions.
The two men got up and into the car. Their unique technique of climbing in was a routine for them now.
Before House started the car Wilson looked at him.
"Will you stop telling all that shit now, please? You are not winning this bet that way but you'll lose a friend if you go on like this."
House didn't listen to him. He was already pondering about the case again.
This night Wilson slept like a baby. House on the other side lied there awake and still thinking about his patient. There had to be a rational explanation for his symptoms. There always was one. The diagnostician sighed and looked at his sleeping friend.
No wonder he couldn't concentrate on his case. There were hundreds of things he would have preferred doing right now. His motorbike was collecting dust outside, his piano stood in the wrong room and being alone for 5 minutes would have been paradise right now.
The knock on his door was a welcomed interruption.
Wednesday, 3.30 am, Day 3
House looked at his watch. It was half past three. Time to wake up Wilson.
"Hey, we need to get up", he said and shook Wilson's shoulder. He only received a groan. The knock on the door got louder and slowly the oncologist woke up.
"What is it?", he wondered after he had realized that his nightmare had not ended and he was still chained to House.
"We got a visitor", House explained and sat up.
They opened up and found House's entire team outside.
"I do have a phone", he snapped.
"We felt pity for Wilson and thought we come by instead of forcing you guys back to the hospital", Thirteen explained.
"And you left the patient alone because the wellbeing of our oncologist here is more important than the regular pulse of our patient? Do you ever listen to me or did you switch off your brains the day you got that job?"
"He will never have a regular pulse again. He died an hour ago, his heart gave up again", Foreman mumbled.
House starred at the floor for a moment and sighed. Wilson looked shocked. Finally the diagnostician turned to his employees again.
"Why are you here?", he asked.
"We thought you want to know this", Taub explained.
"I want to know why he died! So why are you not in the morgue cutting out his heart?", he yelled and slapped the door in their faces.
Foreman looked at his coworkers. "Go home, get some sleep", he told them.
"What about the autopsy?", Taub asked.
"You think he's gonna die again? We'll do it tomorrow. Good night."
Wilson starred at House. For a while they just stood there next to the closed door.
"Are you of your mind?", he finally interrupted the silence.
House didn't react.
"They worked their asses off during those past few days and now you let them do an autopsy in the middle of the night?"
"If they had worked that hard, the guy would still breathe!", House shouted.
"You are pathetic, House! You just hope they come up with an answer that tells you that you couldn't do anything to save him."
"Yes, you are right", House shouted and hit his fist against the door. "It's not their fault. It's yours! If it hadn't been for you I would still be in my office doing my job. I would have solved that one days ago if it hadn't been for your annoying presence!", House let all his anger out now. Wilson couldn't believe it.
"Oh yeah? Well, I tell you something. With all that shit coming out of your mouth lately I wonder how you can even think about medicine. Aren't you busy drowning in self pity as always? Wondering why life screwed you up? You egocentric maniac bastard!"
Without another word House dragged Wilson behind him in the bedroom. He found his pants and got the key for the handcuffs.
"This is over. Get the hell out of here!"
But Wilson pulled away his hand.
"Oh no, it isn't! I'm not gonna clean Cuddy's house just because of your asshole attitude!"
"Well then chain yourself to one of your brilliant residents. I'm out of this!", House told him and tried to unlock it again.
"And then what? Everything is gonna be alright? The guy lives again? Oh no, I forgot. You throw me out of here and you can breed all by yourself again with some lousy TV program, a bottle of Scotch and your damn pills, right?"
"At least I won't have to listen to your crap any longer."
Wilson laughed and tried to calm down. He took a deep breath.
"Ok. You can either unlock these handcuffs now and you'll win your freedom but you'll lose your dignity for the next 8 Saturdays and you'll lose a friend. Or you can get a clear head now and we go to the hospital and we find out why this poor guy died."
House looked at him for a moment.
"My team covers this", he just said and weighed the key in his hand.
Wilson chuckled. "No they don't. I bet you 100 bucks they went right home."
"Yeah, sure. Mutiny in the diagnostics department. Happens all the time. I'm a lousy boss."
"You are but that's not the point. They got brains. First thing they did was going home to get some sleep."
House looked skeptical but also challenged.
He laid down the key on his nightstand.
"100 bucks. It's a deal."
Wilson sighed. They would definitely need a talk at the end of that week if their friendship still existed by then. At the moment he just wondered how he could be stupid enough to not end that crazy game. But they were not done, yet.
Whenever he lost a patient without a diagnosis it followed House until he finally got his answer. He would be a huge pain in the ass if they couldn't figure that one out.
Wilson checked his watch and promised himself to go on a vacation as soon as possible. He would use it to sleep for a week. Four o'clock in the morning and they left House's place just to cut open a dead guy's chest. Wilson would have paid the 100 bucks immediately because it meant that House's team was busy with that autopsy already and he could have gone back to bed.