Wilson got disappointed when they arrived in the dark morgue. He could not return to House's place to catch some sleep.
"Hand it over, House!", he smirked however. "You owe me a hundred bucks."
"These idiots!", House said and shook his head. His team would definitely pay for this.
House looked at his now former patient on the table in front of him.
"Can you cut with your right hand?", he asked Wilson but the oncologist shook his head.
House raised an eyebrow and got his cell phone.
"Good thing I am blessed with a team", he smirked and dialed Foreman's number.
"Let them sleep, House. We can do this"
House shook his head. "I don't get this. His heart was the only functioning organ left. His kidneys shut down, his liver was close to giving up but his heart was fine. It must have been something we did to him."
"Or something that took some time to develop. Maybe an infection", Wilson suggested.
"We tested him for infections but his heart was clean. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it."
"Maybe it was just too weak with all the other organ failures", Wilson went on but that didn't satisfy House at all.
"Then what was the underlying cause? What screwed up his kidney and his liver?"
"Maybe it wandered. First stop kidney, next stop liver and finally….", Wilson didn't finish the sentence but it didn't matter. House didn't listen to him anyway.
"You got it, right? You know what happened?"
House shook his head. He stepped forward and opened the patient's mouth to check his teeth.
"Nice patient history", he mumbled when he found what he was looking for.
"Nobody told me he had obviously a dental problem", he said when Wilson checked the teeth, too.
"It's not important. He had some toothache, so what?"
"It is important if that infected root of the tooth screws around and let the infection go on a ride. Spreading infection in this one", he pointed at the moral on the upper side, "can make you blind. This one on the other hand causes infections of the pericardium which weakens your heart and makes it stop in bad cases, like let's say if you have already lost two organs."
"So that explains the heart but what about the rest? Why did he die?"
House looked back at the patient.
"I have no idea."
House and Wilson did not cut open the chest in that night. They decided to let House's team do that in the morning. Instead they looked for a spot to find a couple of hours of sleep. Not really easy but finally they settled on the couch in the doctor's lounge.
"You sure this works for your leg?", Wilson asked when House put his feet on the table.
"Hurts anyway", he mumbled and swallowed a pill.
"Good night!"
Two hours later Cuddy found her two sleeping employees. One of the nurses had told her about House's patient and the whereabouts of the department heads. She felt already pity for them. Wilson would definitely keep a stiff neck for the day and House would have a tough one for his leg given their current positions on that couch.
Cuddy also could imagine that they had a hard time and they were probably driving each other nuts. House's black eye was a good indicator for that.
"Good morning, boys!", she finally yelled and woke them up.
They startled and needed a moment to realize where they were. Wilson was the first one to groan.
"Oh my God", he whined and rubbed the back of his aching neck. House massaged his thigh and therefore he pulled on Wilson's left arm.
"Careful!", Wilson said and got his hand back. House stretched and yawned loudly before he finally opened his eyes.
"Good thing you are here, Cuddy. I quit. I need to sleep for a year", he finally announced.
"How are you guys doing?", their boss wanted to know.
"Oh we are fine. Piece of cake!", Wilson told her.
"Sorry, Cuddy. We are far away from giving up", House added.
"That's not why I asked. You lost a patient, House and Wilson, you have that surgery this morning. You sure you can do that?"
House shook his head and pursed his lips.
"See, we are nothing but work slaves for her. All she cares about is our work. That's just sad."
Cuddy chuckled. "You guys better get in shape. You look like a bunch of hobos. I'm sure you are keen on taking a shower."
"Maybe we should chain you to Dr. Cameron for a week. And then I show up in the shower room. You think I would survive that?"
"That'll be a question for the ages. I would never be stupid enough to participate in such a nut job game", Cuddy explained and left the room.
Wilson looked at House.
"You know, even if you don't lose that bet you should ask her out. She has the hots for you."
House chuckled. "You don't get enough sleep lately, buddy. Let's get that shower."
They did it the same way like the day before. There was just one slight difference. Actually two because Cuddy didn't visit them this time. But that was not necessary since they were able to make fools of themselves this time.
Which came as a surprise because they were both very smart guys, actually brilliant minds and both very well known in their specialties and it should have occurred to them that some fresh clothes would come in handy after the shower.
"So get your old ones for the moment. I have some clean laundry upstairs", House said and turned around to get his pants.
"Hmm, that's interesting", he mumbled and cocked his head.
"What?", Wilson asked irritated.
"I could swear I was wearing clothes when we came here."
"So?"
"Where are they now?", House asked and pointed at the now empty bench. Only the key for the handcuffs was still there.
"That bitch!", Wilson yelled and caused House to laugh.
"Oh my God, Wilson. That was a nasty word from you. Boy, you must really love these pants."
"Call your team. They can get us some clothes", Wilson said.
"Good idea. Let me get my phone", he snapped sarcastically. "Oh look, here's the number. 0800-you're an idiot."
"House, I will not run around the hospital only wearing a towel around my waist and you on my hand", Wilson complained.
"Right, it would rather be a slow walking thing. At least I have my cane."
Wilson sighed and looked his friend in the icy blue eyes.
"Tell me you have already an idea for the revenge of the century! Tell me we will get her for this."
House was amused about this sudden anger coming from his friend.
"We could just wait here. Sooner or later someone will come in and we can use his phone", he suggested.
"I have to be in the OR in half an hour. We must go. Let's just pray there are not too many people around."
House opened the door carefully and popped his head out on the floor. It was only half past seven so the floors were nearly empty.
Slowly they moved forward always checking for witnesses. First they met the janitor.
"Morning, Lou!", House greeted him as if nothing was going on. Wilson blushed immediately.
"I knew it!", Lou announced. "Now Joe from nightshift owes me 50 dollars."
"We better take the stairs", Wilson suggested and caused an amused expression on his friend's face.
"I thought you wanted to hurry up. And no we will not!"
"But we can't go into the hall like this only to catch an elevator."
"And I can't take the stairs. Sorry, my crippled leg beats your reputation anytime", House explained and so they entered the hall in front of the clinic.
It only took a few seconds before the nurses saw them and since both of them looked pretty good shirtless some of them started whistling and clapping.
"Wow, wow. Good thing there are doctors in the house. I might faint", one of them smirked.
"Thank you girls. But I told you nothing special for my birthday", another one yelled. Wilson shut his eyes and wished himself far away. House on the other hand pushed the button for the elevator.
"Thanks ladies. I see you all have excellent taste. If only you evoked the same reactions with me. But those uniforms definitely turn me off!"
"Oh shut up, House!", Wilson yelled and pushed him in the open elevator. They reached their floor. Wilson took a left turn while House went straight down the floor.
The chain between their hands stopped them finally.
"What are you doing?", Wilson asked annoyed.
"Going to my office, what else?"
"No, no. My office first. I won't meet your team like this. Please, I have a shirt for you as well."
"What about some shorts? I never wear foreign underwear."
"What? Yesterday you didn't care about your boxers. So please."
Actually their discussion got more and more pointless since House's office had windows and his entire team was already observing them. Foreman finally stepped out on the floor.
"You guys need some help?", he smirked.
Wilson rolled his eyes. "Brilliant. This is your fault, House!"
"Oh relax. Where did you go to college? Never had a bet like this with your room mates?"
"No. And there's a difference between running around naked in your dorm or here at your working place. I have a reputation to lose."
House nodded and observed two passing nurses.
"The way the chicks around are checking out your butt you'll also have Mrs. Wilson five on your hands very soon."
Wilson looked around ashamed. "Let's please go now!"
Since they had to get changed for the OR anyway they skipped the clothes in their offices and went over to the surgery ward. On their way there House suddenly stopped.
He stepped back and looked into the room on his right. A male nurse was just checking the infusion of a patient.
"What is it, House?", Wilson wondered but his buddy didn't answer him. Instead he opened the door of that room.
"Hey Lucas. How are you?"
The male nurse turned around.
"Dr. House. Hi, how are you doing? What a coincidence to meet you here."
"Right, I saw you at least five times yesterday. Twice you looked through my windows at home. Lots of coincidences. Feel free to leave our clothes in my office."
The PI shrugged. "Sorry, I just do my job."
"Right, we'll see how that works out", House mumbled. "Keep away from the patients. If you need to go undercover me and my cane, we can help you with your disguise. You will look like the perfect patient."
While Wilson scrubbed his hands House talked to his team.
"House, you should have clean hands as well. You can assist me."
"Do I look as if I went to nurse school?", the diagnostician complained.
He turned to his team. "Do the autopsy. Find out what killed him!", he ordered him after he told them about his tooth spreading infection theory.
Finally he returned to the sink and got a brush to clean his hands.
"Does this kid even have a chance to survive?", he asked his buddy.
"What, you got something better to do? Sorry, that I take your time."
"No, I just wonder. Maybe he has suffered long enough."
Wilson looked confused and surprised.
"You think we should just let him die?"
House shrugged. "Maybe you should have asked him instead of his parents."
Wilson sighed. "That's funny. Usually you are the one you who tries everything even if everyone else already called time of death. What's your problem?"
"Nothing. I just wonder if it is worth the effort. And no, I don't mean mine or yours but the boy's. He'll be dead in two years anyway."
"Yeah, and two years are of course very short for a 12 year old. You think that's just about him? I got an oncology ward full of dying kids. Maybe he won't survive this but he will help us to save others just by participating in this trial. See, there is a difference between healing what comes around the corner and fighting cancer. God, I wish I had your job."
He left House behind at the sink and entered the OR. The boy was already asleep and five minutes later they were ready to start the procedure.
House took a seat on a stool in the corner of the OR. He was not in the mood to help.
"Can you hurry? My soaps starts in 20 minutes", House mumbled after 5 minutes.
"Shut up!", Wilson said and turned to the nurse.
"I need more suction here, there's too much bleeding."
"Maybe you should let a surgeon do this surgical stuff. After all, that kid has two more years to live. Would be a shame to kill him today."
Wilson got nervous. He couldn't control the bleeding. "Shut the fuck up, House!", he yelled and asked for another sponge.
House whistled and turned around on his stool.
A beeping noise signaled them that the blood pressure dropped suddenly.
"Damn it, where is it?", Wilson mumbled and checked the liver still for the leak.
"House, get over here. I need help", he shouted.
"Of course you do!", House said and stood up. The nurse helped him with the gloves and finally he helped Wilson searching the cause.
"Hang another bag of O negative", he ordered the nurse on his right.
"I can't see anything", Wilson said and asked for suction once more.
"What did you do? That's a mess! You worked with a blender here?", House wondered while he tried to get a better look.
Wilson rolled his eyes but kept silent.
"There it is!", House finally announced. A little blood vessel on the back of the liver. Wilson saw it and together they could fix it. The nurse sucked the remaining blood and the blood pressure improved hence to the donor blood.
"I think we got it", House said when he saw that no new blood showed up.
They finished and left the table so that the resident could close him up. In the scrub room they got rid of their masks, gloves and gowns.
"I want my own pants", House announced. He hated those hospital clothes.
"Well done, guys", they heard a voice behind them. It was Cuddy. She was leaning against the door frame and smiled at them.
"I wonder why you even pay Lucas. You are stalking us all day long anyway", House said. "Can't you really live without us?"
"Actually, I came to make sure you remember the rules", she said and held out the handcuffs.
"Can we first change, please?", Wilson asked.
Cuddy looked around. "Did you guys bring fresh clothes?"
"No. They are upstairs in the office."
Cuddy cocked her head. "Well, then I guess no. Leave this room separated and you lose."
"You could go upstairs and get them for us", House suggested.
Cuddy laughed. "Good idea. Can I get you something else? Lunch, drugs, 100 cc of reality maybe?", she said and left the room.
House watched her leaving and smiled. Wilson observed his reaction and looked surprised.
Finally he grinned. "Oh you are so into her, House!"
House threw him a pissed look.
"I'm hungry. Let's find some lunch. In fact, let's take the rest of the day off."
"I can't. I have my patients", Wilson objected.
House grimaced. "You have an oncology ward full of doctors. When will you finally realize this, you are the boss in there. So tell someone else to deal with your patients today."
Wilson was still skeptical about that idea and House could see that.
"Come on, buddy. I bet there are plenty of things you would like to do now."
Wilson nodded. "Being alone for a year would come in handy."
"Ok, anything but that", House told him.
"What could we possibly do, House? Want to go bowling? Playing pool or minigolf?"
"How about sleeping? Watching stupid things on TV?"
Finally Wilson agreed.
"But we can't go out dressed like this", he objected.
"Why not? This isn't fashion week, nobody cares."
They were still wearing the scrubs.
"We look like a bunch of convicts. They'll arrest us."
House cocked his head. "Now that would be interesting."
This time they had fortunately access to a phone and so House called his team. Since they were not busy with a patient they could be the laundry delivery service.
"What do you mean, you won't do it?", House asked Foreman after he told his request.
"Cuddy told us to stay out of your game", Foreman explained.
"I'm your boss and you refused to do your job last night. You better play along for a while", House threat him.
"Cuddy is also my boss and yours as well so that's scarier. Sorry, House."
Foreman hung up and so House handed Wilson the phone.
"Call your oncology colleagues. There should be someone who can help us."
Wilson got disappointed as well. Obviously Cuddy distributed a memo amongst her employees.
"This is ridiculous. We go upstairs get some pants and then we go home", House finally decided.
And so they got chained to each other again. They went upstairs, changed their trousers in Wilson's office and left the building at half past twelve.
An hour later they were both snoring in House's bed and spent a rather unspectacular afternoon.
When they woke up around 7 pm they were both starving. House's answering machine told them they had five new messages. It was a good thing House had put it on mute before they collapsed on his bed.
House pressed the play button.
"You two are idiots. You know I have you following around by Lucas so of course he informs me whenever you leave the hospital during work hours. Get your asses back here immediately. House has his clinic duty at 3 pm", Cuddy grumped.
The next message came from Taub.
"House, this is Taub. You really should come back. Cuddy is very angry. Please come back in here. See you."
Then Cuddy tried once more.
"Wilson, I'm so disappointed. I just hope he blackmailed you somehow or forced you with a gun to leave work like this. Get him back here immediately!"
House pressed the stop button and deleted all the messages. "It's definitely that time of the month for her", he mumbled.
"We are in trouble", Wilson stated. "She's gonna kill us."
"Forget it. I need something to eat."
They entered the kitchen and opened the fridge only to find out that Cuddy did a little bit more than calling them during the afternoon. The fridge was empty. So was the rest of his food section.
"Did I miss the part of the bet that said she has the right to annoy us constantly?", House wondered.
"That's actually theft. You should call the police", Wilson joked.
"I'm hungry. Chinese or Italian?"
"I don't care, just hurry up."
House looked around and searched for his wallet. "I don't know how much money I have left."
"Why do you care? You don't pay anyway. I think I got a fifty. Where is my wallet?"
They searched their pants, Wilson's briefcase and House's knapsack. They couldn't find them.
"Maybe in the car", Wilson eventually suggested.
House shook his head.
"She's starving us", he explained.
"What?"
"Cuddy. She took our food and our wallets. No credit card, no money, ergo no food."
"Well, it's a good thing every sane person has some hidden money in their place, right?"
House chuckled. "In my place you won't find anything but pills. I don't hide money, why should I? I have you."
Wilson groaned. "Great, House. Now what?"
"Do you have money at your place?", House asked him.
"Sure. Let me get my keys."
But they were gone as well. So no food, no money and no car.
They sat down on the couch. House rubbed his forehead.
"She's mean", Wilson spoke out.
"She's clever", House added. Wilson looked at him and smiled.
"Oh House, you are in trouble. You are in love."
House sighed and took a deep breath. "She leaves us here hungry and without money. That is mean. I just stated the obvious."
"No. You like that she plays those games with us. And you like the fact that she can actually win against you. You respect her."
"Oh my God", House groaned. He got up. "Let's visit Cuddy. She owes us dinner."
"And how will we get there?"
"I have a motorbike."
Wilson shook his head. "Never!!!!!! Forget it, House!"
Two minutes later the two doctors stood in the pavement and looked at House's bike.
"This is not working, House!", Wilson repeated for the 10th time.
"Joykill. There must be a way."
"No, there is not because I won't do this in 100000 years. Where is your car?"
House pursed his lips. "Inspection. I don't get it until Friday."
Wilson shook his head. "This is ridiculous!"
He stepped forward and waved over a cap that was passing in that moment.
"You found some money?", House wondered.
"Cuddy will pay for this!", Wilson told him annoyed and opened the back door.
The driver looked confused.
"What's the matter with you guys?", he asked them.
"Nothing. We are hungry!", House snapped and got in. Wilson followed him.
"What's with the handcuffs?"
"It's the latest rage in Paris. Believe me, everyone is doing it now", House told him.
The driver shook his head. "Do you have money?"
"Sure!", House yelled and brought out his empty wallet. It was good enough to convince the driver and so they drove over to Cuddy's place.
They were lucky. Their boss was already at home.
House knocked on the door with his cane for less than two seconds before the door opened up.
"Shhh!", Cuddy hissed at them immediately. "Rachel just fell asleep."
"Oh I'm so sorry, Dr. Cuddy!", House shouted when he walked past her into the house making it hard for Wilson to follow.
"House, shut up", Cuddy whispered but the diagnostician didn't listen to her.
"Mhh, let's find the kitchen, Wilson", he went on and now even Wilson tried to calm him down.
"Ok, you had your fun, House."
"You will take care for her if she wakes up", Cuddy threatened him.
"You sure you want this?", House wondered and his boss thought it over.
"What do you guys want?", she asked annoyed.
"Well, let's see. How about our money, his keys and our food?"
Cuddy grinned. "Oh, sorry to hear this. Did you guys get robbed while you were asleep during work hours? I called you four times."
"Thank God we put the phone down", House snapped sarcastically and entered the kitchen.
Suddenly the door bell rang again. Cuddy groaned and opened up. It was the taxi driver.
"Somebody owes me 18 dollars", he said angrily.
"That would be the young lady", House yelled from the kitchen.
Cuddy glared at him but got her purse and paid the man.
In the meantime the boys inspected the fridge and even for the oncologist the contents were too healthy.
"I think we settle with money", Wilson suggested and earned a nod from his colleague.
"Oh yeah", he turned around. "Cuddy, give us our money or I'll make sure your kid stays awake the entire night."
She would probably not scream the entire night but right that moment Rachel woke up and started crying.
Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Well done, House! Now go and clear that one out."
"You really want me to take care for your baby? Do you even know me?"
"Wilson will be there as well. Now go!"
House sneered. "I will certainly not look after your child. Not after everything you did to us. Good night, Cuddy!"
They walked towards the door.
"That homeless shelter on Libertystreet called us today and requested two doctors for a health check of their inhabitants. And just now I made up my mind who I'll send there."
Wilson turned around.
"Nursery is upstairs on the left side, right?", he asked her.
"Just where the crying comes from. You can't miss it", she smirked.
She watched them walking upstairs. "You are such a sissy, sometimes", House complained and shook his head. "Nursing that little spawn instead of dinner. Great!"