Thanks for your nice reviews! :-)
Has it really been only 10 days since the season finale? It's gonna take forever until September... :-(
Just to make sure her kid was save Cuddy followed them and watched them through the half closed door. While Wilson took the baby out of its bed and tried to appease it House rolled his eyes to announce his annoyance about the crying.
Two minutes later Wilson was still busy calming Rachel down. Cuddy was about to interfere when suddenly House took over.
"You are doing it all wrong!", he grumped and took the baby carefully in his arms.
Wilson and Cuddy both watched amazed and surprised when the diagnostician mumbled softly and calmly to the bundle in his arms. Slowly the crying changed into a whining sound.
"Maybe we have to change her diaper", Wilson suggested.
"Shh!", House told him and shook his head. "She's fine."
He turned back to the little kid and while he carefully rocked her back to sleep he sang her a lullaby.
This was the moment when Wilson and Cuddy both were sure they were dreaming. They had never seen House this pleased and caring. Five minutes later Rachel was back asleep and House laid her down carefully into her bed.
He gave Wilson a nod and they left the room. Cuddy awaited them already.
"That was so sweet, House", she told him and smiled.
"That was necessary and nothing else!", he snapped and turned to Wilson. "Now let's find some dinner please!"
Cuddy finally showed some mercy and ordered dinner for the three of them.
Half an hour later they were gathered around Cuddy's table and enjoyed their hard deserved meal. Cuddy enjoyed it more than the guys since eating with chopsticks was even harder than eating with cutlery in the wrong hand. House and Wilson finally gave it up and got a spoon each.
"I'm really surprised you are still both alive. I thought you would kill each other after one day."
House shook his head. "You won't see me dragging his dead ass around all week long. I'll wait until I got my freedom back."
"Well at least you can keep the handcuffs in that case. Your freedom won't last long."
Wilson joined them. "Don't worry about him. I'll be the first one to pull the trigger, don't worry."
Cuddy looked amazed. "I always wondered how you can stick up with him voluntarily but seriously how can you be with him 24 hours a day? He drives me nuts after two minutes in my office."
Wilson grinned at House. "See? I told you so."
"He told you what?", Cuddy wanted to know.
"Nothing. Shut up, Wilson", House grumped and opened another food container.
"No, I want to hear this", Cuddy insisted.
House sighed. "Wilson took another trip to Fantasy Land this week. Don't listen to his drivel."
"Oh no!", Wilson objected, "House is a coward and not ready to face reality!"
House laid down his spoon.
"We need to go! It's late", he said and got up.
Wilson looked at Cuddy and shrugged. "See? Quod erat demonstandum! Thanks for dinner, Lisa."
He joined his friend and they left the house.
"Are you out of your mind?", House yelled as soon as they had closed the door behind them.
"What? You think you are only allowed to screw with me?", the oncologist smirked.
"This is beyond funny. I don't want anything from her. This is just your crazy fantasy and your obsession with saving the entire world."
"Yes, sure. She's just your boss", Wilson said sarcastically.
"Oh cut it off, Wilson", House shouted and shot him a glare. This was so pissing him off.
Wilson had left the discussion anyway. He looked around confused.
"How do we get home?"
It was a good and appropriated question. They had Wilson's keys but the car was still at House's place. And they had their money back but caps were not often seen in this quiet neighborhood. Especially not at half past eleven in the evening.
"We could ask her to call a cap for us", Wilson suggested and pointed at Cuddy's house.
"That won't be necessary", House smirked and pointed at Cuddy's car in the driveway.
Apparently House had planned this from the beginning.
"Quit pro quo!", he announced and brought out Cuddy's keys.
Wilson smiled. Usually he would have objected but Cuddy deserved a little revenge.
It would have been too easy, just to take the car for the ride back home. Instead House and Wilson put up a nice little paper chase for the next day. Luckily the dean of medicine had a good sleep that night because she didn't find out about her missing car until in the morning.
Thursday, 7.30 am, Day 4
It was Wilson's annoying cell phone alarm clock that woke them up again. Somehow this turned into a daily routine slowly. The alarm went off, waking up Wilson first and House about two minutes later. House would curse the damn thing and swear about it before even opening his eyes. They would collect some clothes, put on some jeans and head to the hospital to get their beloved shower and their five minutes of freedom.
At the end of the week they would have to collect much dirty laundry from the hospital. Actually, every day they used a fresh t-shirt for the night since their used ones got lost in action somewhere in the hospital.
Right when they were about to leave they ran into Cuddy in front of the house.
"Where is my car?", she yelled when she approached them.
House shrugged. "I have no idea. Princeton is not what it used to be these days. All those criminals, it's a shame!"
"Give me my keys and my car!", she ordered them.
"Oh but that wouldn't be any fun", Wilson smirked.
Cuddy glared at him. "You too, Brutus? Hanging around with House is not good for you."
Wilson raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm sorry, Lisa. But you can't blame anyone but yourself for this."
Cuddy took a deep breath. "I have no time for this. Just give it back. You had enough fun with this."
Instead of her keys she only got a sheet of paper from House.
"Here you go. It'll help you find it."
Cuddy unfolded it and found something like a map.
"Let me guess, an x marks the spot?", she asked annoyed.
Both of them nodded.
"If you'll excuse us now, we have a shower waiting for us", Wilson explained.
House grimaced at that comment. "Stop sounding that gay!", he whined while they walked towards the silver Volvo.
"I could call the police and charge you with car theft", Cuddy yelled after them.
"Sure, you could. Or you could stop being such a bitch and enjoy our little game for once", House suggested while Wilson climbed into the car.
Cuddy looked at the map again. That was ridiculous. Fortunately she did not have to play along. She would send Lucas instead. She couldn't know that House and Wilson had taken care of him as well.
8 hours earlier
Of course House and Wilson knew that Lucas followed their every move when they borrowed Cuddy's car. They also recognized the car that followed them inconspicuously. When they arrived at House's place they walked over to the other side of the street.
House knocked on the window and smiled at the PI.
"Hi guys. Fancy meeting you here", he greeted them.
"Save it. We just came to offer you a deal. We need a private inspector and we need him now."
Lucas smiled. "Sorry, that's a conflict of interests I guess."
"That's really sad. We hired another one but all he could come up with is this."
He handed the man inside the car an envelope. Lucas opened it and he nearly freaked when he saw the contents.
"Everyone has secrets. Even the people whose job is to find them", Wilson smirked.
"What do you want?", Lucas asked and showed his surrender.
Wilson and House threw each other a satisfied look.
"Well, it includes this car and that list of instructions. Talk to Cuddy about it and this will end up at the right person."
House handed over a sheet of paper and Cuddy's car keys. Then the two doctors went inside.
Cuddy had a good time after her two employees had left. She couldn't get the picture of House and Rachel out of her head. He had been so nice and caring just for a moment but it was there. Maybe it had been just the sound of his voice that had appeased the little girl but Cuddy didn't care. There was this nice part in House and she fell asleep that night with the thought in her head that probably it was worth exploring House's character to find more of it.
The feeling last exactly until she walked out of her house in the morning. She didn't even think for a minute that her car had been stolen. She knew immediately where to look for it. There it was, the bad side of House. And she knew it was definitely worth kicking his butt for that newest stunt. So she called a cab and drove over to his place.
In the hospital Wilson and House entered the doctor's locker room.
"Could you please shave for once? This turns into a real beard, so please?'", Wilson asked.
"I told you I was allergic to razor blades. Sorry."
"This is ridiculous. I haven't seen you unshaved in 5 years and still you have to trim your stubble every now and then. This isn't a styling thing you are just lazy. So if you shaved your face clean you could go without another one much longer."
House starred at him for a while before answering.
"When do you have all the time to come up with this shit?", he wondered. They got uncuffed and Wilson undressed himself.
"What's wrong? Hurry up. We have a clock ticking here", he told House but the diagnostician didn't move.
"No thank you, I'm not in the mood today", he announced.
Wilson threw him a confused look. "What do you mean? We had a long day yesterday and actually you don't smell like roses right now."
House grinned. "Exactly. Only three more days and you haven't given up, yet."
Wilson was upset. "No, House. That's very childish and totally unappropriated. I have patients to see."
House shrugged. "You are wasting time here", he said and cuffed his friend's hand back to his own.
"Now go have fun."
Wilson showered and their hands rested on the edge again but this time House stood in front of the shower cabin. He checked his right armpit with his nose. Yep, that plan would work and he hoped it was true what they said about not recognizing your own odor.
Ten minutes later they were both dressed and ready. Wilson wore some fresh and ironed clothes, House wore yesterday's again. He would never admit it but he felt rather uncomfortable.
"So what are we going to do today?", House asked him.
Wilson wanted to inform him about his schedule when Cuddy came in. Without another word she walked over grabbed Wilson's right hand and chained it to her own left hand.
"What the hell?", Wilson asked but didn't come any further.
"If I go on that lunatic paper chase you guys will come along", she ordered them in a very upset tone.
House shrugged. "Fine, sounds like fun."
But Wilson had a different opinion. "No! First of all I want at least one hand for myself and second, I have patients waiting for me."
"Well, I guess you have two choices then. Tell me where my car is or find a replacement. You skip work half the time anyway."
"That's not true. I haven't seen a single case file this week, thanks to him. It'll take me forever to catch up."
House shook his head. "Oh don't worry. Just let them lie around until one of your employees starts working them over. But back to Cuddy here. She would never invite us to join her. She doesn't even know what to expect so why taking the risk of having us witnessing her embarrassing herself? You really thought it would work, didn't you, Cuddy? That he would rather tell you immediately. Well, sorry, now you have to drag us along."
Cuddy nodded. "Well, then come along."
But she knew he was right. With House and Wilson working together this would become the most embarrassing day in her life.
But logistics with three people chained together is even harder than with two. They decided it would be easier to go with a cab.
How big were the chances that they caught the same cabbie as the day before? Whatever the odds, it was him.
"Seriously people, what is it with you?", he asked them and rolled his eyes.
House smirked. "I told you we are setting a trend here. It already is spreading around."
"Whatever. But show me the content of your wallet now!"
Satisfied he started the car half a minute later.
Cuddy brought out the map or whatever it was supposed to mean.
"Where do we have to go?", she asked.
"Hey, we are just the hostages here. No help included", House told her.
Cuddy rolled her eyes but concentrated on the sheet of paper again.
"Well, street names would come in handy but "House's biggest pleasure" is definitely helpful. If only I knew which of the brothels/sex shops you are referring to here."
House closed his eyes and smirked. "Oh, there are so many to choose from. Feels like heaven."
"Oh God", Cuddy groaned disgusted. "And what is this something you draw here? Is this some sort of animal? How am I supposed to read this stupid map if you can't even draw? After all those years you've been scrabbling on that white board."
"It's not an animal", House snapped. "Sorry, differential diagnosis doesn't include artwork very often."
"But this thingy will give me a hint for some nasty place?", she wondered.
Wilson gave her an encouraging nod.
"Why is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about my biggest pleasure a nightclub/brothel?"
Cuddy glared at him. "Yeah, how could that happen?"
House shrugged. "It won't help you anyway."
"You mean this has nothing to do with hookers or something?"
"You guys want me to drive all the way to Trenton before you make up your minds?", the driver interrupted them.
"It's a piano!", Wilson finally told her and received an annoyed look from House.
"What? I got work to do", he apologized to his buddy.
"The Jazz Club on Franklin Street!", Cuddy announced and was happy about her idea.
House nodded and told the driver to go there.
Cuddy chuckled. "Well, seriously House. That's not your biggest pleasure!"
THe diagnostician raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not the one who keeps two pairs of handcuffs in his desk."
Five minutes later they arrived at their destination. After they had climbed out of the car, Cuddy looked around. "So, where is my car?"
House and Wilson both laughed. "You think that's it? So far you haven't even the keys."