After lunch they went back to House's department. Wilson was still mocking House about the way the diagnostician looked at Cuddy. "Seriously, man. You were smiling!", Wilson grinned.

"How dare you? No shut up about this", House snapped and entered his office to meet with his team.

Another round of diagnosing before his team left for some tests and the two department heads decided it was a good moment to call it a day. So they left the hospital. Wilson insisted on going grocery shopping again.

"Maybe you should cook a nice dinner for Cuddy", Wilson suggested while he filled his caddy.

"Good idea. Hey, Cuddy, how about dinner? Just you, me and the moron oncologist on my hand."

"Well, not this week then."

"Maybe we should find you a woman. It might stop your matchmaker ambitions. Plus you are my wife this week, you'll do the cooking."

"Then stop throwing out the ingredients all the time. I need that stuff."

"Then you change your recipe. I hate this shit", House complained and got rid of a bunch of parsley.

Wilson sighed. "At least let's have some salad please. My stomach needs some vegetables for a change."

House shrugged. "Whatever. Now let's go find a steak."

Finally they agreed on their menu de jour and went back home. Like usual Wilson did the cooking while House complained every time he had to move around in his kitchen since his buddy was searching for something.

"You can deal with the steaks!", Wilson ordered him and shoved a pan in his free hand.

"Rare, medium, English? What's it's gonna be, Sir?", House asked him.

Wilson was confused for a moment. He had expected another round of complaints.

"You really gonna do it?"

"Sure. You think I leave my beloved meat in the hands of a vegetarian?"

"I'm not a vegetarian, House!", Wilson complained.

"Tell that to all the green stuff in my kitchen!"

Wilson went for medium as did House and finally they settled at the table and enjoyed their meal.

The steaks were really tasty. House could do so many things if he wasn't such a lazy dog most of the time.

After dinner it was the first time this week they did the dishes. Not because they both got finally annoyed by the growing pile but simply because they ran out of everything. And soup plates made lousy replacements. House thought it over and decided it would be best to do this chore as long as Wilson was still living with him. It took them nearly an hour since most of the food debris was dried up.

"I told you we should have done this immediately", Wilson complained when he scrubbed another plate. Suddenly he startled.

"Damn it!", he yelled and checked his watch.

"What? You are developing washerwomen's hands here?"

"I forgot about the board meeting this evening. It starts in 30 minutes."

House rolled his eyes. "Forget it! No hospital stuff for at least 2 hours after dinner. Mummy taught me so."

"House, I have to go there", Wilson insisted.

"Call in for a sick day then."

"Yes, I just showed up in the hospital completely healthy this morning but other than that it's a perfect plan."

House shook his head. "I won't come along!"

Wilson sighed. "You are an ass."

House gave him a nod.

"Thank God for that. So I can spend my evening on my couch."

Wilson gave in. He got his cell and wrote a text message to Cuddy. He was not in the mood for a discussion with her right now. At least that's what the oncologist told his friend.

So House was rather surprised when his doorbell rang half an hour later.

"Come in!", he yelled. He was tired of dragging Wilson behind him only to open up his door for some unwanted guests.

He was really surprised when the eight members of the hospital board entered his apartment.

"What the hell?", he yelled and got up.

"Good evening, House. So nice of you to invite us over for our meeting", Cuddy cheered and winked at him. She had immediately agreed after she had read Wilson's message. It took her some effort though to convince her fellow board members.

House glared at Wilson but the oncologist just shrugged.

"Mohammed didn't want to go to the mountain", he told his buddy.

"Terrific!", House mumbled.

It took a while for everyone to get seated. Cuddy sat next to House on the couch. The other members occupied every possible seat available including his piano bench.

"Now let's get started with the first topic", Cuddy started.

House leaned back and looked over her shoulder down at her neckline. Actually he had a good angle from his position.

"At least a seat with a view", he mumbled. Cuddy followed his eyes.

"House!", she yelled and hit him on his leg. "Stop this!"

The diagnostician rolled his eyes. "Well, then you stop this!", he said and pointed at the bunch of people in his living room.

"This is your fault!", Wilson interrupted them. "Now, shut up and we can get this over with! Besides there is always the option of giving up."

"Great idea. There would still be 9 people in my apartment."

Finally they could start their meeting. The longer it took the more bored House was. An hour later they were still discussing the possibility of a new lab for the genetics department. They had to find some benefactors for that one.

"If I pay for it would you guys get out of here immediately?", House interrupted now.

"Sure. It's only 2 million dollars. You write us a check?"

House turned to Wilson. "I need to borrow some money!"

"Shut up", his buddy answered.

"No, seriously people. How can you meet every week just to talk about such drivel for hours?"

"Because this drivel makes sure you have such a smooth time in your job. Because there are people who take over responsibilities and take care for things", Cuddy snapped.

"Oh thank you guys so much. Next time I'll bake you a cake!"

Cuddy sighed. "Tell you what, since I'm here and I can have an eye on both of you maybe we should release you for a while so you can go to your own room."

House looked pissed. "Thank you so much. Great idea. There's just one reason for me to go to my bedroom. Sleeping. Why don't you guys go in there and I stay here together with my TV, my piano and the rest of my interesting toys."

Cuddy grabbed the key from his jacket pocket, unlocked the handcuffs and shoved him the cane into his hands. "Just go!", she told him.

House looked around. His colleagues looked annoyed. Eventually he got up and walked over to his own room. "Tell me when you are done occupying my living room!", he yelled and slammed the door shut behind him.

The board went on with the discussion until they heard the door bell rang twenty minutes later.

Wilson got up and opened the door. He couldn't believe it.

"Are you Dr. House?", a young, hot woman asked him shyly.

She looked past him and saw the bunch of people sitting around.

"Hey, you are planning something nasty here?", she asked angrily.

Wilson looked confused. "No, I'm not Dr. House. But I know where you can find his dead body in a minute", he mumbled and turned around.

House was leaning against the wall in his hallway and smirked.

"Where are your manners, James? Ask my lovely guest inside."

Cuddy finally realized what was going on and shot him a glare that needed a gun license. She hurried over to him.

"House, what are you doing here?", she whispered.

He shrugged. "I told you I was bored all alone by myself in my bedroom. So I invited some company."

"You are an ass! And a pervert", she told him now.

He smiled. "Are you jealous? I could send her home."

Cuddy turned around.

"Why don't we call it a day? It's late. I see you all next week in our usual room. Thank you for coming and the nice work", she announced and the rest of the board members didn't hesitate for a second. They grabbed their stuff and were out of the place within a minute.

"Have a nice evening with your guest I hope she likes threesomes", Cuddy snapped at House and held out the handcuffs. "I'm out of here and you both are back in the game."

Then she left. The poor woman was still standing at the door.

House walked over and handed her 50 dollars. "Thank you for coming!", he said and slammed the door in her face.

"Well done, House!", Wilson mumbled and sat back on the couch.

"What now?", the diagnostician asked annoyed.

"You pissed Cuddy off completely. Now you'll never get her", Wilson explained.

House was upset. He hit his cane against the wall.

"God damn it, Wilson! Shut up! Do I have to make a commercial for the Super Bowl first? I'm not interested in her!"

"House, you are pathetic! And a coward. Admit it! You have feelings for her. And the only reason you are upset right now is that you know you pissed her off tonight!", Wilson yelled.

House swallowed a Vicodin and picked up his cane.

"Just one more day and we are out of this. Why don't we spend that day in total silence?", he mumbled and went into his bathroom.

It was half past ten when they both settled on the couch. Wilson worked on some files while House just relaxed.

But pretty soon the oncologist got tired and so he closed his files and leaned back.

Half an hour later Foreman called to inform his boss about the latest development and House was relieved since he could stay at home this time. The patient was still sick but at least not about to die that night.

In the meantime Wilson yawned for the third time in five minutes. He stretched his arms and got House's attention since the diagnostician lost his right arm for a moment.

"Can we please go to bed?", Wilson asked him.

House just looked at him but stayed silent. Wilson rolled his eyes. "You can't keep your mouth shut anyway."

The diagnostician concentrated on the TV again. Wilson was upset. He took the remote control switched off the TV and threw it out of reach. House didn't even blink and kept his eyes on the now black screen.

"Well, if you don't want to speak then you won't at least interrupt me this time. So where were we? Oh yeah, I was just explaining to you why you are such a moron who chickens out every time Cuddy comes in sight."

Wilson wasn't sure if it was just imagination but he could swear House' s neck artery was pulsating heavily.

But House stayed silent while Wilson went on analyzing about his recent behavior.

Instead of talking he inspected the handle of his cane sharply. Then he looked at Wilson's forehead and back at his cane a few times as if he was watching a tennis match. Wilson got the message.

"Oh yeah, hit me with your stupid cane. Great plan. Violence, great strategy. But be aware of the fact that Cuddy would never forget or forgive this."

Suddenly House looked over and smirked. "You know what, I doubt it I won't go to sleep tonight."

"What?", Wilson asked surprised.

"I should have come up with this four days ago. Lack of sleep is a powerful weapon."

Wilson shook his head. "No, forget it! You'll go to bed and you'll sleep. You can't do this! I have patients, you have a patient. We got a responsibility here!"

House shrugged. "It's not my problem you can't handle a sleepless night."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch enough sleep during the last 4 nights!", Wilson yelled.

"So you already got used to it. No problem then", House said and put his feet on the table.

Wilson sighed. "I don't care. I can sleep here as well."

"That's what you think!", House mumbled.

A few moments later he got up and pulled on the chain. "Come on, I have to go to the bathroom first."

Wilson looked suspiciously. "That's a trick. You are up to something."

House rolled his eyes.

"Look, my leg hurts. I can't sleep here on the couch again. So please!"

Wilson agreed and followed him. But on their way to the bathroom House stopped in his hallway.

"What is it?", Wilson wondered.

"Nothing. "

"Then go on."

House looked around. "No, I like it here. I just realized I hardly spent any time in this part of my apartment."

"Because it's a hallway!", Wilson yelled.

"So what? It's nice here."

Wilson shook his head. "This is ridiculous. Let's go!"

But House didn't move an inch.

Wilson usually never used physical violence that could damage House's damaged leg in any way but right now he didn't care. He pushed House with his shoulder and tried to force him into the bathroom. House had a serious problem with this. He couldn't use his right leg to fight against his buddy and he also missed his right hand to hold up against the wall.

"Stop this!", he shouted but it was too late. He put all his weight and some of his violent friend's as well on his right leg which gave in immediately. So House struggled and went down. A sharp pain ran through his thigh. He clenched his teeth and tried to prevent a groan.

"Are you out of your mind?", he yelled eventually and punched an elbow in his buddy's ribs. Wilson had gone down right after him but managed to end on his knees next to his friend instead on top of him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would put up a girl's fight here."

"You hit me below the belt here. Where is my Vicodin?"

He searched his pockets but the orange bottle stood on the couch table.

Wilson smirked. "You are right, this is a lovely place. Let's stay here."

House looked pissed. "You call this fair play? Damaging my already crippled leg and keeping me away from my pain meds? That's torture!"

"So is sleep deprivation", Wilson objected.

House sat up and leaned against the wall. Wilson settled down right next to him.

The oncologist checked his watch. It was half past eleven.

"So, violence. Great strategy. I doubt it that Cuddy will like this", House snapped.

"So what now?", Wilson finally asked.

"You won't give up, I won't give up. I won't ask out Cuddy and I'll keep on going with my canned soup diet. That's it. Tomorrow evening we are out of this", House explained.

Wilson shrugged. "That's the only thing that matters for you?"

House sneered. "Sure, what else?"

"Maybe our friendship and how we damaged it during the last week?"

House sighed. "If it makes you happy I can ensure you everything is fine."

"No, it isn't. I said bad things you did. We have to talk about this."

House rolled his eyes. "We were annoyed. Totally nerved by each other. Forget it."

Wilson looked sadly now. But he was tired of having these discussions.

House starred at him. "That's it? No lecture?"

"If there's something I learned that week it's that you are too stubborn for my lectures", Wilson admitted.

House hoicked his arms and nearly dislocated Wilson's shoulder.

"Yeah! Hello Nirvana! Took you only 10 years to learn this lesson!", the diagnostician cheered.

"Still, I have to tell you…", Wilson tried but was interrupted immediately.

"And I'm back in hell."

"Actually I wanted to tell you that I need to pee urgently."

House chuckled and nodded. "Alright."

They got up. House stretched shortly and caused a crackling sound in his back.

"Wow, somebody is getting old here", Wilson smirked.

"So you gonna break my back next since you discovered my other weak point?", House snapped.

"No, but maybe you should hurry up a little. Cuddy doesn't fall for old men."

House sighed and sobbed sarcastically. "I knew it. Analyzing and lecturing is your Vicodin."

"Doesn't hurt my liver though", Wilson objected.

"But our friendship!"

They went into the bathroom finally and Wilson relieved his bladder.

House unlocked the handcuffs so they had a chance to put on their pajamas. They met at the sink in the bathroom to brush their teeth and collapsed on House's bed eventually.

Wilson fell asleep after a few minutes. House yawned and thought about the past few hours. Wilson was right, again. Tonight he had pissed off Cuddy completely. And that bugged him. Damn it, that really annoyed him. How could he be so stupid and invite a prostitute when Cuddy while Cuddy was present? He only had called her to get rid of his uninvited guests but nevertheless he had annoyed Cuddy. He should have been a good boy for once. Play along with that stupid prank of hers, let them have their stupid board meeting and showing her that he could be serious. House took a deep breath and shook his head. He had to get rid of these thoughts. He was about to turn into Wilson. Now he just had to make it through the last day and everything could go back to normal.

So, will they make it through the last day? Who should win this bet? Tell me what you think! :-)