I'm on a roll, it seems, and I've got something horrific brewing. Sorry this is getting so dark. Hard not to with the subject matter and all. But I promise we'll get some comic relief soon, but first there are unanswered questions and holes in the plot to deal with. This is a two-parter. Question for the masses: Are you seeing Gabrielle with long hair or short? I can't make up my mind which this is.

Love to the 'verse. ... Oops I went a little Firefly there. ...Love to the Known World!

I don't own... I dominate.

Joxer came running from the stables at the sound. He found Gabrielle had kicked off the blankets and was fighting in her sleep. This wasn't that uncommon. The bard often acted through her scrolls in her sleep, and both Joxer and Xena had been walloped in the middle of the night by a sleeping Gabrielle in fierce combat. The longer he listened, though, the more he realized this was not one of those dreams. This was a nightmare.

"No," she said, thrashing, then screamed it, "No!"

Joxer was at her side in a flash, his horse brush and hoof pick clanged to the ground, sharply forgotten.

"Don't touch her," she whispered. "No, Xena! Xena!!" The last cry sent her sitting straight up in bed. She panted as tears ran down her cheeks, still not coherent enough to notice Joxer kneeling by the bed, completely beside himself for lack of how to help her. Gabrielle crumpled with the memory of the images in her head, turning away from Joxer and falling back to the pillow, she hid her face in her hands and cried.

This was starting to bother Joxer. Every time he saw Gabrielle it seemed she was crying. Neither woman had broken down and told him exactly what they had been through. He was invisible to them as always, but had collected his own information from eavesdropping and making notes of their injuries. This was torturing him, not knowing for certain, and this final incident made him realize it must have been something horrific. Something more than just a bad beating.

He thought she probably would recoil from him like she always did, but he couldn't help the compulsion to comfort her. His hand lightly touched her shoulder and Gabrielle went very still, startled, until he flattened his palm over her arm and rubbed gently with his thumb. She tensed as she identified the touch, then covered his hand with hers as she shook with sobs, needing the release his compassionate gesture allowed her.

After a few minutes, Gabrielle started to calm down. Joxer got up and sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her for a moment before he spoke up. Gently, he whispered, "Gabrielle, what happened to you out there?"

She took a long shaking breath and held out her hand for him to help her sit up, which he did without taking his eyes from her face. Once she was up and sitting beside him, she reached up briefly and touched his face, almost as though she were apologizing for what she was about to tell him. She dropped her hand and took a deep breath.

"Xena and I were captured by a group of men," she began, fiddling with the blanket across her lap.

"Why?" Joxer asked. He was childlike in his inquiry, yet honorable in his drive.

She hadn't expected him to interrupt. "They, um, they thought Xena and I were sick somehow. I don't know, I'm not really sure I understand myself."

Joxer nodded, clearly not understanding, but wanting her to go on.

Gabrielle couldn't look at him. "They drugged us. I'm not really sure about all that happened with Xena, because we were separated. I was kept in darkness, beaten, um..." She stopped and looked up at him. "Joxer are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Why? I mean yes. What happened?" His heart was pounding. He didn't really want to hear this, but he had to know. Involuntarily his hand had found her forearm and was resting lightly there, though he was oblivious to it, too wrapped up in the turmoil behind her once-joyful green eyes.

Again she dropped eye contact and fussed with her blanket. She didn't want him touching her when she told him this, but at the same time it was a welcome comfort. It took her a minute to swallow back tears and regain her calm composure. "I, uh, was raped," she said quietly, a rogue tear falling onto Joxer's hand. "Repeatedly."

He felt the tear hit his hand and took it off of Gabrielle's arm to wipe it off. But she interpreted it as a rejection. She brushed her tears away and cleared her throat. "Where's Xena?" she asked, not looking at him.

Joxer was shocked and confused as her body and voice had turned suddenly cold. He was about to pull her in for an embrace, but let his arms drop beside him at the sudden change in energy. "She went to the baths just after you fell asleep." He told her, "She thought she'd be back before you woke up." He allowed himself to squeeze her shoulder gently as he stood up from the bed and went to the fire. Grabbing a bowl and spoon from the mantle, he fixed her a hearty helping of stew and handed it to her.

"There's one thing I still don't understand," Joxer said as he shamelessly let his hand linger under hers as she took the bowl from him. She flashed a tiny smile of thanks that didn't go to her eyes. "How did you two get out?"

She shook her head at him. "I don't know. I remember falling asleep in the cell one moment and then the next, I was in the forest. "

Gabrielle wasn't telling a total lie -- that is what she remembered, but there was a lot more before that she wasn't telling him. A lot more she knew that she was never going to share with anyone, because in a way, it would be like betraying Xena, and that was simply something she would not abide.