I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS

No Deal

Kabuto travels through a forest.

Kabuto: I can't believe Lord Orochimaru and the two immortals were defeated so easily and with Sasuke leaving, I don't have any back up if the Virtues were to target me.

Kabuto stops at an entrance in the forest.

Kakashi: Stop right there.

Kabuto turns around to find Kakashi and the Virtues staring right at him.

Kakashi: I know exactly what you're thinking right now.

Kabuto: And what would that be?

Kakashi: What's the cause of all this? Well, I'm sure you remember our previous encounter at the hospital.

Kabuto: You can't seriously hold that against me, after all I was a young and impudent follower of Orochimaru and since you four have eliminated him we don't have to worry about that anymore.

Kakashi: Save your talk, this isn't about Orochimaru, The Akatsuki, or the Leaf Village. This is about you and me.

Kabuto: So, I take it that there isn't any other way we can resolve this, is there?

Kakashi: Look, the least you could do is to die like a true shinobi. Now, get ready.

Kakashi pulls out a kunai, Kabuto begins to slowly back away.

Kabuto: He has the edge as far as combat goes but I can heal myself just as fast as he inflicts damage, if not faster. If I play my cards right, I could be able to stalemate with him until I'm able to figure something out. Are you, sure we can't talk about this?

Kakashi charges and Kabuto was barely able to pull out his own kunai and block Kakashi's slash at his neck. Kakashi punches Kabuto in the face, sending him flying into a nearby tree and attempts to stab him in the chest but Kabuto is able to dodge it and escape to from the tree and regain his bearings.

Kabuto: I might be able to make it if I just focus on avoiding the attacks on my vital points and quickly heal the minor injuries.

Naruto, Jiraiya, and Konohamaru watch Kakashi's assault on Kabuto.

Konohamaru: I don't understand, why's he only using taijutsu?

Jiraiya: I don't think he wants to end this too quickly.

Naruto cackles.

Naruto: Yeah, Copy Ninja's gonna make him suffer. He's not even using his sharingan yet, I love it.

Kakashi's attacks are proving too much for Kabuto to handle.

Kabuto: He's much better than Tsunade at taijutsu, she was just strong. I've gotta mount some sort of offense.

Kabuto releases a smoke bomb and gets some separation from Kakashi.

Kabuto: This should be good enough. Temple of Nirvana Jutsu.

Feathers fall on the battlefield and Kakashi falls asleep as the other Virtues watch on.

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei can't be falling for this.

Jiraiya: He's too good for that jutsu to be effective.

Konohamaru: He must be luring him in for a trap.

Kabuto takes this moment to heal some of his injuries.

Kabuto: There, now that that's taken care of, time to end this.

Kabuto approaches a sleeping Kakashi and takes out a kunai, he stabs Kakashi in the neck. Kakashi's body changes in to electricity and nearly shocks him to the point of death.

Naruto: A Lightning Clone, when did he learn to do that?

Kabuto makes it back to his feet after electricity's paralyzing effects wore off. He scans the battlefield for Kakashi but is unable to find him.

Kabuto: Damn it! Where could he be? He can't believe that I'm dead, he would've come and checked the body after our last encounter, so where is he?

Naruto watches Kabuto's situation and remembers his first training session with Kakashi.

Naruto: He's underneath.

A pair of hands reaches up from under Kabuto and pulls him into the ground by his feet until the only thing exposed is his head.

Kabuto: What?!

He looks up and finds Kakashi looking down on him.

Kakashi: Pathetic, I didn't even have to use my sharingan. It seems that the only thing that you're good for is picking up Orochimaru's skin after he sheds.

Kabuto: Wait, Kakashi!

Kakashi: What for? With all those experiments that you and that snake perform, you aren't fit to live in this world. I say that since you had such fun with dead bodies, it's time you become one.

Kabuto: I could give you information on the Akatsuki.

A hopeful Kabuto looks up at Kakashi towering over him.

Kabuto: Well?

Kakashi: I haven't killed you yet, have I?

Kabuto: Right. I was, at first, a spy for a member of the Akatsuki. You may know him, a former Sand shinobi known Sasori of the Red Sands.

Kakashi: My father killed his parents during the Second Great Ninja War.

Kabuto: Exactly, he defected from the Hidden Sand Village and joined the Akatsuki as their source of information, he has spies in every village under his mind control. I was his spy from the Hidden Leaf village until he sent me to spy on Orochimaru after he left the Akatsuki, but Orochimaru discovered me and released Sasori's hold over me. If you let me live, I'll tell you where I'm supposed to meet with him and vital information on the other members of Akatsuki.

Kakashi turns his back to Kabuto for a second to mull over his decision.

Kakashi: No deal.

Kabuto: What?

Kakashi turns around with a fully charged Lightning Blade in his hand and stabs Kabuto in the head with it, a cackling Naruto watches in delight.

Naruto: Cool.

Jiraiya: Good, we can concentrate on Akatsuki now that Kakashi's gotten what he wants. Let's go.

The Virtues regroup and head back to the village. Back in the village, they, without Naruto, stop at the hokage's office to debrief Tsunade.

Kakashi: That punk got what was coming to him, it was out of my hands. The minute he forgot his place in the shinobi world, this ending became inevitable.

Jiraiya: And now, we can show the Akatsuki that it takes more than S-class criminals to be known as the greatest force in the world.

Tsunade: Good.

Tsunade looks around the room and notices the absence of Naruto.

Konohamaru: He said that he had something important to take care of.

Naruto's apartment.

Hinata: NARUTO UZUMAKI!!!

A nude Hinata falls on Naruto's bare chest, both breathing hard with their bodies glistening from sweat.

Naruto: And don't you forget it.

Back at the hokage's office.

Tsunade: This issue with Danzo is starting to concern me.

Jiraiya: What do you mean?

Tsunade: Now that Danzo has a hard-on for Naruto, he's not gonna let this thing go.

Kakashi: So you think he'll try to make trouble for us.

Tsunade: Not you, Naruto, he seems to have a problem with him. He wants his shinobi to be controlled and Naruto has proven to be uncontrollable to say the least.

Jiraiya: Tsunade, Tsunade, Tsunade, he can try but that all he can do because as we and everyone out there know, the Virtues are the best thing around. We've already managed to take out three members of Akatsuki and there's more in our sight, so the best thing he can do is to just sit back and take in the fact the Virtues are here and we're gonna be here for a long, long time.

Naruto walks down the streets with Hinata arm wrapped around his waist and his draped over her shoulder with his hand down her shirt and cupping one of her breasts.

Voice: Get your hand off of my daughter!

They locate the voice which belongs to a visibly upset Hiashi Hyuuga.

Naruto: Hey, everyone, it's the World's Worst Father.

Naruto cackles as Hiashi burns a hole through his with his eyes.

Hiashi: I said get your hands off of my dau…

Hiashi's eye is caught by Hinata and her appearance.

Hiashi: Why are you wearing such a skimpy outfit?

She kisses Naruto on the cheek.

Hinata: Does it matter?

Hiashi: I will not sit back and let you defile a member of my clan, particularly my daughter.

Naruto: Defile her? You should see the things she makes me let her do to me, I just want to cuddle most of the time. I'm guessing that she has a lot of repressed desire, just like any other Hyuuga. I mean, come on, when's the last time any of you people ever cut loose?

Hiashi: That's it! Byakugan!

Naruto barely dodges an attack from Hiashi and starts running through the crowd while tossing innocent bystanders in his would be assailant's path.

Naruto: I must've been right. Hey, Hinata, we'll hook up later.

Hiashi: Over my dead body.

Naruto cackles at the usually calm Hiashi's display of emotion. Not looking where he was going, Naruto gets trapped in an alley, he turns around to face Hiashi closing in on him. Naruto drops to his knees and extends his hand apologetically.

Naruto: Hey, man, I'm sorry.

Hiashi: You can't talk your way out of this.

Naruto looks around him on the ground at a green glowing circle with eight symbols.

Naruto: No, the Eight Trigrams.

Hiashi: You will pay for your insolence. Eight Trigrams Two Pa…

Naruto punches Hiashi in the balls, effectively ending his attack.

Naruto: I call that my No Trigrams Ball Punch, just created it.

Naruto begins to leave Hiashi in the alley but thinks about how Hinata would feel about him leaving her father like that. He goes back and gives Hiashi a blanket and a pillow.

Naruto: Here ya' go, you're gonna be here for a while.

He cackles as he leave the alley and a slightly more comfortable Hiashi.