HEY! so..another one! Sorry for the long delay, I'm going forward with this as the mood strikes me, and it doesn't seem to strike me that often. So basically this chapter is only to torture you for a few more months until I can come up with another chapter. IF I can come up with another chapter. lol. This has not been looked over very carefully so I apologize if it's a little sloppy. If there are mistakes, don't be afraid to let me know. :)

In other news, I've opened a new account on here, in which I am writing - also very sporadically- Law and Order: SVU fics, and a few others...all femslash. I'm trying to leave this one behind because most of the fics I've done under this name are, in my opinion, rather elementary. So besides this one and a few others, I'm not a fan of the fics on this name. ANYWAY, if any of you wish to know my new name, message me and I'll direct you. Why? Because I like to be sneaky.

Xedra - okay, here's the thought for a video from a million years ago: the song, "Still Holding Out For You" by Shedaisy... in Gabby's POV during the whole "The Quest" problem when Xena is being stubbornly dead. OR, even, post-FIN or even Ides of March/Fallen Angel. Whatever you think, my dear. But we thought it would be a good song for them.

On to the torture-I mean story.

Love to the lovers. :)

Gabrielle woke in the dark just before dawn. The fire had died almost completely, and it was nearly black in the room. She reached for Xena and found only the mattress, and looked around confused before she made out her silhouette in the darkness. The warrior was perched at the very edge of the bed, her elbows on her knees, the fingers of one hand resting over the knuckles of the other, her mouth tapping non-rhythms on her fingers. Thinking. Gabrielle knew that posture, and it did not sit well with her that Xena was in it right now, just hours after their first time as lovers. She swallowed hard, willed her voice not to shake and failed as she whispered for an explanation.

"Xena?"

The warrior turned her head at the sound and smiled, but didn't turn far enough to meet Gabrielle's gaze or to have tried. To the wall in front of her, she said, "I didn't mean to wake you," and to the floor, she said, "I was just thinking."

"How long have you been awake?" Had Xena turned, she would have seen the bard's eyes illuminating in the deep blue light streaming through the crack in the shutters. Her blonde locks spilled about in haphazard waves, she looked in that moment more like an Amazon queen than ever before.

"Not long. Maybe an hour. You should sleep, it's not yet dawn."

When Gabrielle realized the warrior had not dressed, but sat thinking thus completely naked, she wanted nothing more than to slide up behind her, wrap her arms around Xena's waist and rest her head on her shoulder. Her injuries prevented her that small joy. Instead, she reached out and trailed a finger down Xena's spine. "Why don't you tell me what's troubling you?"

If Xena had been chewing on something, like she sometimes did when they were camping and she was thinking this intensely, she would have thrown it aside in that moment, loosely frustrated. "I would if I knew what it was," she said, showing herself vulnerable and confused like she never had before. "It's just a strange feeling I can't get rid of."

Gabrielle frowned, worried she may be the cause of the feeling. "What kind of feeling?" She asked carefully, as if expecting and fearing the worst from the reply.

The warrior paused, considering it, then answered just as carefully. "Like I'm being played." Curious as to her thoughts, Xena chose that moment to finally turn around and face her lover, just in time to see fear washing openly over Gabrielle's face. Xena gasped silently at the sight of the bard before her, her skin illuminating in the late moonlight, her eyes sparkling like a goddess.

Misinterpreting the intensity of Xena's gaze, all the color washed from the blonde's face. "Xena, I wasn't...I would never..." Gabrielle stammered, flabbergasted. Xena kicked herself when she realized what she'd inadvertently implied, and stopped Gabrielle's frantic protests with a kiss.

"I know," she said, kissing her again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was you. That's not what I meant."

The fear gone from Gabrielle's face, but not the concern, she asked, "What did you mean, then?"

Xena sighed and shifted to get more comfortable on the bed. She brushed a few locks of hair off of Gabrielle's shoulders. "I just wish my memory would return." She smiled warmly at the bard reclined below her, drinking in the sight of her. Now was not the time for talk of danger or fear. Gabrielle found Xena's hand in the dimness, laying her own warmly over it as she had countless times before. Xena was sitting in the reality of something she hadn't dared to dream, and if she'd believed in any gods, she would have been thanking them at that moment for the gift of the queen she was touching.

Gabrielle watched in quiet wonder, seeing new things in Xena she'd never been privy to before. And judging by how free-falling her new expressions and emotions were, Gabrielle thought that perhaps Xena had not felt them before. That thought crashed over her like a blast of hot air.

"Xena," she began, hushed. "It's hours yet before dawn now, and I'm very tired."

Xena brushed the hair from her forehead. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you, I'll go out and let you sleep."

"No," Gabrielle caught Xena's other hand. "Stay with me. Please?"

Xena's eyes widened briefly when she realized what Gabrielle wanted. "You know I don't usually like to...uh, cuddle."

Gabrielle grinned at her, and came the closest to laughing as she had since she'd woken from her fever. Her reply was a song. "Oh, yes you do."

Xena frowned in response.

"Xena, every morning you turn over in your sleep and throw your arms around me."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do." When Xena made no move to speak or to lay down, Gabrielle gripped her forearm and tugged. "Lie down," she ordered, still smiling. "You'll see."

Xena smiled to herself as she curled up against the bard, their bodies fitting together perfectly, just like they did every morning. This was her favorite thing in the world - having Gabrielle in her arms, and to have her now like this, embraced finally in non-secret love, was enough to make Xena want to laugh in delight, were she the laughing type. She closed her eyes as she breathed in the warm scent of Gabrielle's hair, and before she had time to fight it, she had fallen asleep.

Gabrielle lay awake, listening to Xena breathe. She took the warrior's hand and put it against her lower abdomen, willing her child to know those hands, to know the calloused yet satin touch that had saved her life countless times. The bard closed her eyes and spoke in her mind to her child, explaining who this was, introducing them, promising them they'd never be apart. She wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes and found Ares standing beside the bed on her side, looking down at them.

The god of war held out his hands in a cocky gesture to show he was waiting for something.

Gabrielle's face took on a look of stern resignation as she met his eyes with cold detachment. She mouthed a single word. "After."

Ares dropped his pompous stance, looked at her for a split second with respect, and nodded. As the bard closed her eyes and sank further into the body behind her, Ares made his silent exit.