X

The week after my date with James was fantastic. I had seen him all the three days we spent in Manchester, and a last time when we went to visit Danny's parents when we were in Bolton. He left after that, promising to meet me in Glasgow ten days later. It was fun having a sort of real boyfriend.

The tour was starting to look better for me, and I like it more than when I started. I knew the boys more, I knew Gioo and Maggie enough to actually consider them friends, and I had James.

Maggie was staying with us now, but seeing as we were so close to Bolton, almost every day she went there to visit a friend of hers and the Jones' family. So I didn't really see her and I was saved the trouble of actually explaining why I had lied.

McFly were occupied with shows, three in Manchester and two in Bolton. That was how I was safely avoiding Harry. He went to sleep real late, and only once we shared a bed, only to sleep.

Danny, however, was another thing.

"Girl, you're something." He said. We were in Preston, doing the first concert. After ten songs, Danny's jeans had gave up and the button holding them up (if that was what you could call up) broke. He had tried to keep them in place for the last six songs, but he took advantage of the intermission to get someone to fix it. And, lucky me, that someone was moi. Maggie wasn't able to sew for her life, and they didn't even think of asking someone else because they were all SELFISH BASTARDS!!!

So I had his jeans in my hands, trying to fix them while he paraded in boxers around his dressing room.

I stared at him when he said that, thinking he talked about his jeans. "It's not really that important."

"Believe me, it is. Maybe is the hair." Danny said as an afterthought.

"The hair? You are not talking about the jeans."

"Why would I?"

"I… don't have the foggiest. What are you talking about?"

"Harry." I was about to say something when he added. "And James."

I opened my mouth surprised. "You know?"

"Of course. What I don´t understand – and my wife doesn't either – is why you ask us to lie. You're not dating Harry."

"If I knew why I did that, my life would be much easier." I stated, sighing.

"Well, I can offer you Maggie's theories, if you want. But I'm sure you don't. So I'll tell you mine. You're on the verge of falling in love with both."

Ok… How could he say something like that so normally?

"This is how you know someone's a songwriter." I stated. "I don't fall in love."

"Me neither." He said with a wink. "But I'm married and I love my wife."

"You're older than me." I added.

Danny laughed. "You're that desperate to find an excuse?"

"Yes." I admit. "Do you really think that?" I added some seconds later.

"It's my opinion, anyway. I'm only saying, take care of what you do. Because if you don't fall in love, you don't want others to do so, right? Just be sure of what you want." Danny said, suspiciously calm.

Oh, god. He KNOWS something.

I handed him the jeans while I looked at him curiously. Ok, girl, play it cool. Cool… You know you can. For once in your life don´t be so straightforward…

"What do you mean by that?"

Great! You disappoint me again, brain. At least you weren't that straightforward, it could've been worse…

Danny grinned mysteriously. "Nothing at all, darling. I have to leave you now." He laughed, walking out of the dressing room after buttoning up his jeans. I ran after him and finally caught him while he was about to get on stage.

"You better tell me once this show is over!" I stated, pushing his arm.

"Bye, Tilly." He waved, too chirpy to be real. When I turned, I found Maggie – and all the people in the backstage - staring me a little confused. I smiled. "Sorry."

The music started blasting trough the speakers in every part of the arena, giving me a headache. Before this job, I wasn't really a gigs person. I'd went to just a few – like Paul McCartney, Stone Roses, Franz Ferdinand, Guns 'n Roses, The Rolling Stones, Regina Spektor and a few others - and it wasn't like I went to a show every month, much less a week. So having to go to a show practically every single day, arranging interviews and photos I would like... I was about to be hospitalized.

Thank god, Maggie didn't follow me, because with Danny's words, I so wasn't ready to confront another interrogation. And yes, I knew that… somehow, it was because… maybe… I was starting to believe what they said.

Oh, god.

… Was I… in love with James?

Or even worse... Was I in love with Harry?

Suddenly, I was about to cry and I wasn't sure why. Because I was falling in love, because I was about to hurt someone, because I was going to need to stop my non-commitment life…

I walked to one of the tour bus that was near – we didn't stay in a hotel this time around – and jumped inside. We had two buses. In one of them we had Danny, Maggie, Tom – and Gioo when she went with us - Dougie and Fletch and two bus drivers. Harry was supposed to be in there too, but seeing Maggie was tagging along, he left her his place in that bus, so in the other he, Mike, Nicky, and myself traveled along with a photographer and two bus drivers.

I had decided against my bed, using it as wardrobe, and instead, I took the sofa on the upper floor as my room. No one really complained. I went there with my ipod, blasting The Clash – London Calling, one of the best CDs EVER-, and my laptop on, so I could finish chapter four and five of the book. Can you believe it? Chapter four and five!!!!! I was starting to really love that part of the job, at the same time I was disliking more and more the show part.

Reading back, I slowly had started to change my way of seeing things on tour. The first few pages of the first chapter were almost cold, when I didn't even know them and I was just the new girl with a crazy job. Then, it changed to been warmer and nicer. The interviews were better, my writing was better, my opinion on them was better, the jokes, even. And, as I re-read the last couple of pages, I realized… I was very subjective.

Harry was the one I named the most. He was at least once on every page and I wrote as much of him as I could without really noticing and without really wanting to. Even James was there, since he was officially on the tour with McFly as so-and-so –I really didn't pay attention-.

It was like my diary, almost, since I hadn't written in my blog since forever.

I sighed, feeling frustrated. I was crazy. Yes, that's it. Crazy. And that was why I couldn't decided something as easy as who I liked more.

As I thought about that, and wrote, I must've fallen asleep because I woke up some time later with the weight of a body falling next to me, crashing it's head on my laptop, and pushing the computer to the floor carelessly.

"Beware!" I exclaimed trying to grab it, but all I did was crashed my breast on his face.

Harry smirked, with his eyes close. "Thanks for your way of cheering me up." He said. I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything, and just relax against the back of the sofa, taking my earphones out. Harry snuggled up on my lap, putting his arms around my waist. "You left." He muttered against my leg. Harry sounded sleepy.

"My head hurt. It was too loud." I stated, caressing his hair slowly, absentmindedly.

"It sucked, this show." Harry stated. "I made some stupid mistakes that were horrible."

"No, you didn't. It wasn't notorious. I heard it from here." I said softly. That was an oximoron, but I didn´t really realized it.

"So you notice. See? It sucked."

"Harry, I noticed it because I notice when Dougie's bass is out of tune just by one note." I snorted. "You started the drums of That girl instead of Smile, big deal."

"It is a big deal if you noticed it like that. I thought you didn't hear us before."

"Well, yes, but I did hear 5 Colors in Her Hair and I'd been hearing your music for the past six weeks."

Harry didn't answer that, and he yawned. We stayed in silence for some minutes after that, until he spoke again. "You left…" He whispered, about to fell asleep. "Don't do that again…"

And I did the most stupid thing I've done in my whole sexually-active -or driven, depending who was talking- life.

"Ok."

I accepted.

It was like a promise.

And I would feel terrible for braking it because he wasn't my cheating lying bastard boyfriend and I actually… didn't want to break a promise to him.

I was freaking out.

Yep, freaking out. Completely.

And Harry had to go and make everything worst.

"I'll… write you… a song…" He whispered. Harry was clearly asleep.

And his voice gave me shivers all over my body.

I sighed to myself when he stopped talking completely and his even breath started to hit my skin. Harry was sleeping, and I needed to… get away. Far away.

Like Tokyo.

Yes, I could go to Tokyo, that seemed like a great idea.

But when I grabbed Harry's hands to take his arms off of me so I could get up, he hugged me closer.

"Don't go." He muttered. "Sleep with me."

Now, I would want to have you saying no to that.

"Fine, fine. Just move a little."

Harry grinned sleepy like a little child, laying again in the sofa, moving toward the edge to leave me space between his body and the back of the sofa. He opened his arms to hold me, and I complied quickly, after grabbing a blanket and covering ourselves. Harry hugged me to his chest, snuggling my neck.

"I missed you the past week." He said.

I winced. "… Yeah…"

I liked him like this. It was weird to see sexual, dominant Harry cuddling and saying he missed me, and making me promise him I wasnt going to leave one of his gigs ever again.

And I liked it.

I'm deranged.

"I like you a lot." I blurted out, feeling myself blushing.

His soft chuckle vibrated on my skin and trough my body.

"I like you too." Harry said, lowering his head to me and kissing my forehead.

I smiled at the gesture. But just as I was about to added something, James face appeared on my mind.

Can you see how deranged I am?

I'm crazy.

Harry's soft breathing took me out of my reverie, and made me concentrate on sleeping and not killing my head with worries.

But I didn't. Sleep, I mean. I stayed wide awake all night, just feeling his breathing against the top of my head. He muttered some things during the night, but I didn't understand anything. I forced myself to leave my mind blank, and once I did it around seven in the morning, I finally fall asleep.

… To be waken up half an hour later by Mike and his loud electro music.

Harry fell off the sofa because of the surprise, and I winced.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered, forcing the blanket over my eyes.

"Michael Hart!!" Harry complained when he managed to sit on the floor and react.

"Hi, lovelies. How are you this lovely morning?" Mike asked grinning. He looked us over, noticing the same clothes that yesterday, and smiled proudly. Probably thinking that if we were clothed, then it was because we were just sleeping. Or something like that.

Mike has this awful concept of me. He thinks I'm some kind of… sleeping-around bitch…

"What did you find out?" I muttered, taking the blanket out of the way. Harry moved up the sofa, already completely active –which was a miracle, mind you-, and I leaned toward him, closing my eyes.

"Me? Nothing!" Mike stated, but too chirpy to believe him. "I have the pictures! Nick brought them so we could choose the bests!"

That was enough for my sleepiness to disappear. "Really?!" I exclaimed happily, jumping from my place toward Harry. Mike didn't wait much, and put the DVD in the plasma screen –now, who the hell has a plasma screen in a bus?-.

After kicking Harry out –the book was supposed to be a surprise until it was finish for the guys-, Mike and I expend at least four hours laughing and choosing pictures. When we finally finished, we had already arrived to Lancaster, the arena show for that day. Seeing as it was 12 o'clock and the gig started at 10 at night, Mike offered –actually, he announced I didn't have a chance- to take me shopping for longer pants. In deference to him, I wore my longest blue skirt, barely reaching my knees, and a white tank top, and my purple pumps.

We barely said good bye as soon as the bus stopped, and Mike dragged me to Dorothy Perkins first. Shopping with Mike was as fun as it was annoying. He never let you observe enough if you like it or not. He was always deciding for you –and yes, he always decided right- telling you what to wear and what not to wear. But when you were done, you couldn't find a single piece of clothing –from underwear, jewelry and accessories to trousers, shirts, dresses and customs- that didn't look good in you or with the rest of the clothing. He was a genius, a god, a…

"Master. That's what I'm going to call you from now on. Master Mike." I laughed, as we moved toward Wallis Fashion.

He looked at me surprised, arching an eyebrow. "Oh, yes, you're so cute."

"Not only that." I announced, stopping in the middle of the walkway. Seeing it was lunch time, almost everyone was inside having lunch, so I had the whole street for my self. "I'm sexy, I'm cute. I'm popular to boot!" I sang, doing the routine exactly as it was in the movie. What?! I'm a Bring It On fan, thank you very much.

Mike laughed as he watched me dance around the walkway because he hadn't another choice –I mean, I was cheering on the street-, but I knew he wasn't a big fan of my antics. He enjoyed them nonetheless, so I didn't stop doing them.

"Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest. I'm rocking, I smile, and many think I'm vile! I'm flying, I jump, you can look but don´t you hump, whoo!" I jumped in that part. I didn't mind I was catching more attention than ever, and I kept dancing and singing. "I'm major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore!!" I sang really loud, ready to finish my routine. "We cheer and we lead. We act like we're on speed! You hate us 'cause we're beautiful, well we don´t like you either!! We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!"

And I finish with a great jump to Mike's back. A group of boys sitting in one of the pubs clapped at me, and I smiled widely and winked an eye at them. Mike tried to get rid of me, but he didn't managed to do so.

"Piggy back!" I exclaimed happily, and after some meters, he sighed, giving in. "Yay!" I celebrated.

"Ok, fine. I'll give you a piggy ride and also carry your bags, BUT, you have to tell me what the hell is going on with Harry. And why did you lie to him and didn't tell him about your date with James."

I paled. I knew I paled because I felt the same you feel when you stand up too quickly after hours sitting.

But I played it cool. "What are you talking about, Harry doesn't know? Huh?" I demanded that guy to explain himself, not really paying attention. I just wanted to keep his attention in other part.

Of course, it didn't work. "You know what I'm talking about."

"It must've slipped my mind. I was quite sure he knew. Oh, well…"

"Not so fast, darling! You like Harry." Mike stated.

I gaped at him. I really did. And while doing that almost drooled because I was so shocked I didn't mind to close my mouth. "What?"

"What I said. You like Harry, Tallulah. You can't fool me. Now what I'm trying to figure out is way you're with James."

"Because I like him too." I said easily, shrugging.

As long as the word like didn't turn into love, then I was ok with everything. Really.

"You know what I mean, Tallulah. Don't play fool with me."

I sighed. "Mike, I like them both." I announced.

My friend stopped talking. I knew that had surprised him a lot, because I wasn't the kind of girl to just blurt that out. And with liking… I could actually mean something really close to all the people named love.

"I see." Mike said slowly, calling a cab. Once we were inside, he turned to me. "You have a gift, my friend. But I can understand you. I would love to have them both in my bed…" He grinned.

"I didn't sleep with James… yet." I clarified.

That was even more shocking for James than whatever I could've actually do. "Wow.. I didn't expect that, seriously. You too deep into him, then?"

"But I can´t stop thinking of Harry when I'm with James. And vice versa." I confessed.

Mike nodded thoughtfully, but didn't say anything, and ten minutes later, he was on shopping-high again, dragging me to a shoes store. But I knew better than that, and I was sure that was only to keep me occupied. He was not going to leave things like that, it was in his nature.

Mike Hart was planning something.

Yeay! I have one more old reader back! I'm so happy, this is slowly starting to work again, and if I'm lucky enough, I'll get a lot of reviews again! XD But don´t feel jealous, I love all my fans the same! -Oh, shut it, let me think I have a fans, please??? Let me think I have a loooot of fans and a lot of shy fans that don´t want me to know them XD- But, really, thanks to all! You own XD

And my new beta owns too! She's amazing. Thanks Hope-Change!! I love you and I promise to kidnap him for you! -if only for the ice-cream factory XD-

Well, that's all of my crazy ramble for the moment.

Love!!

XOXO

Odd.