The next day wasn't just like the one before- it was normal. Hanschen lied about in his bed for as long as he could before his father came up the stairs to get him off to school.

"Must I go?" Hanschen argued, but his father wouldn't argue back. There were many times that Hanschen thought that his father had an inkling that he was gay, but he never acted upon the hunch, "I shall go, but it will be in protest."

School was the same as usual; he went to class, sat next to Ingel and just in front of Georg. He was astonished that Ingel hadn't gotten into trouble yet for the entire week, but he knew it would come to pass soon enough. One thing that was odd about today was Otto's disappearance. Hanschen turned around and looked to the seat behind Ingel only to find that Otto was no where to be seen.

Hanschen leaned toward Ingel, "Where is Otto?"

"He stayed home, whisper has it that he caught some sort of flu from Anna" Ingel answered, "they were seen together just a week ago, and she was sick."

Great, Hanschen thought, all I need is to get the flu without any form of explanation for its existence within me. But, Hanschen moved these thoughts aside and began to do his Latin homework (a class that he found very tedious).

After school, Hanschen stayed out in the courtyard of the church where Ernst and he often met every once in a while. He was sitting upon a rock, doing homework when he noticed a shadow moving toward him.

"I would like to be left alone" Hanschen yelled, but he noticed that, whoever it was still walking toward him, "I said, go away!"

"Actually, you never said 'go away'" responded the voice of the on comer, it was Otto.

"Otto, why weren't you in school?"

"I didn't know if you were up to even see me… I can see that it is the truth…"

"Otto, please… I guess you can just sit down."

Suddenly, Hanschen felt as if he couldn't even look at Otto the same way. Inside of his mind and heart, he found himself looking at Otto the same way he looked at Ernst.

"Hanschen, about last night-"

"We do not need to speak of that."

"But-"

"Otto, I said no. I don't feel like we should even speak of it."

"If we don't speak of it, then what'll we know what's to come of it?"

Hanschen looked up at the sky, a slab of hurt went down his throat because of what he was about to say.

"Otto, nothing is going to come of what happened in your father's barn."

These words clearly hurt Otto, but he was far from just giving up.

"Hanschen, I-I don't believe you."

"Well, believe it."

Hanschen stood to leave, but Otto stopped him.

"I don't believe you. We shared a moment."

"Let me leave, Otto"

"I won't"

"You'd better!"

Quickly, Hanschen kicked Otto in the gut, flinging him backward. Hanschen was not happy with what had to happen, but he didn't want to deal with all of this crap right then.

"What the hell?!" Otto yelled as Hanschen walked away, ignoring Otto's screaming.

When Hanschen arrived back to his room, he noticed that he had a letter waiting for him from Ernst.

Dear Hanschen,

I received your letters, two in one day! Thank you.

There's so much that cannot be said in a letter. I love Berlin, but it is not any comparison to our village.

Mainly because of you and I being able to be together, I miss you very much.

When Hanschen read this, he felt a pain in his chest and tears began swelling in his eyes, if only he knew what happened, Hanschen thought. He continued reading…

I will be back for the weekend for my last visit before I return home permanently. I hope not too much has changed since my leave.

I simply cannot wait…

Love

Ernst

Instead of placing the letter into a secret box that Hanschen kept under his bed (where the rest of the letters are, including a flower Ernst had picked for him), he crumpled it up and threw it aside in anger. His anger was not toward Ernst, but towards himself. He hated what he had done with Otto and, what he hated most of all, was that he didn't regret it.

Even though it was only five in the afternoon, he was completely exhausted from all the emotional drain that had just enveloped him. So, Hanschen stood from his desk, threw his body atop of his bed and passed out, not to be woken until dinner and, even then, he'd just go back upstairs to pass out again.

The outside world, he wanted nothing to do with.

At least, for this drowsy, dreary and unhappy Wednesday.