Okie dokie artichokies. I'm being generous with the updating today.
I have no classes, no work, and i'm in the mood to write. So here's another one.
You can thank me later. jk jk.
It's what a couple of you have asked me for. So I hope I did it some justice.
Anyways, here you go.
oh! and today is the day of silence. 4.17.09 just in case you didn't know.
if you don't know what that is, educate yourself. www(dot)dayofsilence(dot)org
Disclaimer: I own nothing, no Spashely, no South, no Kyla, no Athlete, not even stupid Aiden. Just my crazy cool checkered glasses. So please don't sue. I'd probably cry.
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Ashley and Spencer had been staring at the small bundle of joy for, what seemed like to Ashley, and eternity. In reality it had been about five minutes, and in those five wonderfully excruciating minutes Ashley had managed to stay on her feet and not pass out.
It was a strange thing what Spencer Carling could do to a person, with a two simple words. She's beautiful. That's all that it had taken for Ashley to fall completely heels-over-head in love with the blond again. She found it completely ridiculous that after all of this time, this girl could still make her feel like she was the only one in the room, even in a crowded, tiny, hospital room with her sister passed out behind her and a baby in her hand.
The silence had begun to get to Ashley, as well as Spencer. Something had to be said, and fast. Ashley didn't want Spencer to just up and leave, this was progress, and she didn't want to take those two steps back.
'They asked me to name her.' Ashley said softly.
Spencer turned her head to look at the older girl. 'Yeah? Got any ideas on the name you like?'Spencer asked just as softly.
'I don't know, I mean it's a big deal, naming a kid is a pretty big deal. She's gonna be stuck with it for the rest of her life. It's going to be so much a large part of her life. What if I give her a horrible name?' Ashley thought, more to herself than to Spencer.
'Ashley, I have no doubt that you'll give her a great name.' Spencer said politely while staring at the side of Ashley's face.
Ashley could feel her eyes burning a hole into the side of her face, it was uncomfortably welcomed. She had been waiting for this day for close to two years now. She had been waiting for the day that she could be in the same room as Spencer and not have to see her with anybody else, to just be.
'Spence, look, I-' The door swung open as Glen and Felisha came inside.
'Hey, how's she doing?' Glen asked quietly, realizing that Kyla was knocked out on the bed behind them.
'She's okay, she fell asleep about two minutes after handing me the baby.' Ashley explained.
'So what's the verdict?' Glen asked, curious as to what his daughters name was going to be.
'I'm not so sure yet. I'll let you know when I know.' Ashley smirked at the older boy.
Throughout this whole ordeal with her and Spencer, Glen had been great. He hadn't hated Ashley, and he hadn't sided with Spencer. It was a relief to know that her best friends boyfriend, and the father of her niece, didn't hate her guts.
'You know, I always like the name Cynthia.' Felisha chose that moment to speak up.
'Cynthia?' Ashley and Glen snorted at the same time. Who was this chick?
'I happen to think Cynthia is a great name.' Spencer glared at the two who were causing trouble.
'Come on Spence, she can't be named Cynthia. This girl is a Carlin-Davies; she has to have a unique name, one that will match her amazing personality.' Glen explained.
'It can't be plane Jane, it has to be perfect.' Ashley said softly as she looked down at the bundle in her arms. 'And I think it's time for daddy Carlin to take over here.' Ashley said as she passed baby Carlin over.
'I'm gonna go get some air, maybe some coffee. I'll be back.' Ashley explained as she headed towards Kyla's bed to give her a kiss on the forehead.
She had to get out of that room, it was suffocating in there. Everything she had wanted and everything she had given up was inside that room. It would have been only a short amount of time before she broke down.
She made her way down the hollow, empty, halls that this hospital was full of, and out into the sun. That sun that had always made her smile no matter what, it was the only thing that was able to make her smile in the months after everything had happened.
'What do you want me to say Ashley? Do you want me to say that I'm sorry?' Spencer asked angrily.
'I want you to consider it, consider us. Did you even think about us when you made your decision?!' Ashley screamed.
'Of course I did. What kind of stupid question is that? I constantly think about us, put us first. It's my turn Ashley; it's my turn to do something for myself. It's your turn to be the supportive one.' Spencer pleaded.
'How am I supposed to be supportive of my girlfriend moving across the fucking country?! How am I supposed to be supportive of you asking for space and time? What the fuck is this space and time bullshit Spence? I can come with you, we can live together, and you can go to school. We'll work it out.' Ashley begged.
'Ashley, it's my time now. It's my time to do something for myself, to find myself. I'm not saying that we stop talking, or dating, you know I love you. I love you so much, I'm asking for space, space for me to find myself. I need my autonomy!' Spencer shouted.
The girls had been going rounds for days now. Ashley couldn't understand how it was possible that Spencer was making this decision. This decision to move to New York and go to college and the decision to leave Ashley behind, so she could find herself.
Spencer on the other hand couldn't understand how Ashley couldn't see how important this was to her. She had gotten into NYU and wanted to find herself, herself without Ashley, so she could be with Ashley. She didn't know who she was without the girl right next to her, and that scared her. She needed to find out.
'Autonomy?! You need your fucking autonomy?! Fine, you got it. I'm done with this bullshit Spencer. It's all of me, or none of me. I'm not going to play this game. I asked you to marry me; you tell me you want space. I can't do it Spencer. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I know what I want, who I want. You obviously don't know who you want or what you want. I can't wait around and watch you break my heart, I can't and I won't.' Ashley screamed.
'So that's it? You're just done with me? I accepted your proposal Ashley, I just need some time. Please, just a couple more years.' Spencer begged quietly, her voice breaking.
'I can't Spencer. I can't take that change of separating from you. I know how this goes. I give you your space; we do the long distance thing, until you meet somebody, somebody better than me and then I'm left in the dirt wondering what the hell happened. I won't do it Spencer, don't ask me to.' Ashley had begun crying by then.
'Don't do this Ashley, don't.' Spencer pleaded again.
'I'm not doing anything, you are.' Ashley said as she walked away.
'Ashley, wait.' Spencer said as she walked towards Ashley who had paused in the frame of the door.
'Spence, please, I can't do this right now.' Ashley sniffled.
Spencer slipped the silver band off of her left hand and held it out to Ashley. Ashley stared at the band. The band that was supposed to symbolize the beginning of their life together, the band that was slowly starting to symbolize their demise.
She grabbed the ring out of Spencer's fingers, took one last look at the girl who held her heart, and walked out of the room.
Ashley had been sitting on the sidewalk for twenty minutes now, thinking about everything that was said on their last day. She was fiddling with the necklace around her neck. It was a silver chain with a silver ring around it. The silver ring that Spencer had given back to her so many months ago, the silver ring that symbolized the demise of the one good thing in her life, the ring that symbolized her broken heart.
Review? Let me know what you think about the Spashley background.