Here's the next chapter. I thought I didn´t have it here but it ended up I had it in here in the Document Manager thingy! XD

So, this chapter goes for the two persons that love me and review. You two, girls, you know who you are.. You rock my world!

Love!

XVII

When I was little, I never wanted to be a princess like any normal girl. No, I wanted to create havoc and chaos and the like. When we played house (and not Doctor House), instead of accepting the dignifying role of the younger sister, I always opted to be the twister that destroyed everything – I had just seen the movie, so blame it on that.

I loved to be impulsive and unique and a freak and see people surprised by my antics to the point of almost being scared. I hated girly girl things and I was a tomboy until my long legs, my stupid family, and my body's development made it weird and impossible for me to play with the boys. Well, at least like a child would.

But, all that set aside, I had never experienced on my own flesh what havoc and chaos and surprise and fear it felt created by one person.

My world was trembling with the force of a great typhoon.

And my knees gave up on me, causing me to almost fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry!" James exclaimed while catching me. It was amazing that that was the first thing going trough his mind instead of something much more…. I don´t know, hurtful? That would probably help me feel better, by the way.

But being kissed like that after I told him I had kissed and shagged a different boy –a boy that was his friend, too- was something I didn´t expect at all.

"Why?" I snapped, being held just inches away of the floor by his arms. My voice sounded more angry and harsh than I expected it to.

"Because I took you by surprise and-…"

"Now, not that. Why did you kiss me?" I clarified. In my world it made no sense at all.

"Because I wanted to." James stated, shrugging.

That seemed easy enough.

"Because you wanted to?" I insisted as he held me up. I wanted to protest and tell him to let me fall to the fucking floor, but I decided against that because my brain couldn´t think properly about anything else than what James said and I needed an answer.

"I don´t mind that you slept with Harry or with that moron getting married to your cousin. I mind that you're telling me and I mind that I like you and you like me too." He stated with his hands on the top of my arms, standing so close to me I could feel his breathing in my face. I liked his mint, sandalwood smell and I wanted to hug him and buried my face on his neck.

"I like him too." I added. Maybe sewing my lips together wasn´t that much of a bad idea, in the end.

James nodded once, and shrugged, pretending it wasn´t important. But I could see that it really was. "So?" He said in a calm tone as fake as Pam Anderson's boobs. "I like Angelina Jolie."

"It's not the same." I insisted. I was starting to think that maybe I had tendencies of self-destructiveness because what I was doing wasn't normal. Maybe I was suicidal and had never noticed it?

"I know. Tallulah, believe, I know. But there must be a reason for you to tell me this, and it means you trust me enough to confess something like that."

"Or that I trust you to hate me after hearing it."

Really.

Where can I get a fucking sewing machine NOW?!!

"… Oh…" James looked really sad for once. I don´t know why I kept trying to make him understand what really was happening when I hated to make him suffer like that. I'm more stupid than the most stupid person in the world. "… That's why you told me?"

"No." I answered, because it wasn´t. "No, it wasn´t because I want you to hate me. I don´t want that, at all. I just… I… I'm confused. I don´t understand why the bloody hell I'm confessing this. Seriously. Just…. Just keep guns and razors away from me. Just in case, you know?"

"Wait. What that does have to do with anything, Lula?"

"I don´t know." I shrugged.

James smiled softly at me and hugged me. Even when I was kind of expecting it, it surprised me how much I wanted him to hug me. The fact he didn´t hate me and still liked me was marvelous to me, and his hug reassured it. I buried my head on his neck and bit my lips so as not to cry. I Didn´t know why would I cry.

"It's ok, babe. It's really ok." He whispered softly in my ear, caressing my back. I felt shivers up and down my back and my skin burning everywhere he touched. "James, I…" I started, but he interrupted me.

"No. Enough of your words. Do you really like me?"

I nodded, because I didn´t trust my voice.

"Then that's enough. I'll make you only think of me, I promise." He assured me grinning. It was hard not to reply with a smile too. "Well… If you let me."

I started nodding out of reflex –and because no matter what I said or think, I really did liked him – but I stopped brusquely when I looked over toward the stage.

Harry had his eyes locked on me and James, his arm too close around me to be a friendly hug. He was fuming, and he missed the next two hits of his drums. I could read in his eyes that he wanted to go there and… kill me.

It was suddenly hard to swallow and I contemplated the possibilities of running away. Being the obvious answer 'not so many and not so good,' I stood where I was. Well, it wasn´t as if I could move, anyway.

"I… I think I…" I started, but I wasn´t sure what to say. I wanted to fly away, and at the same time it was as if I was tied down there and I couldn´t run. James looked at me oddly, but he didn´t realize I was staring at Harry.

"Are you ok?"

Not really.

"Want to go to the hotel? The show it's a bout to end, anyway. You look pale." James offered.

About to end? ABOUT TO END?!

If I was paling before, now I was probably transparent, and I clutched to his arm. "Ye-… Yeah… Let's go to the hotel. Take me to the hotel." I pleaded. He didn´t make me wait for an answer and started walking toward the door of the venue, sensing the tense atmosphere. I didn´t turn back to look at Harry, and all I wanted to do was to run far away.

But that proved to be a bad idea because as soon as James and I reached the special garage for workers of the venue and the stars, I heard Him yelling my name.

Bloody fuck.

I stopped abruptly and took my sweet time turning around. By that time, Harry was already next to us, and I moved so I was standing between both boys. I don´t know why I did that – it was an impulse or something weird like that.

"Harry, look. I…" I… couldn´t finish.

Harry ignored me completely and clenched his fist. I hadn´t thought it was possible, but since I wasn´t able to fully react, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact.

It never came.

At least, not to me.

When I dared to open my eyes, James was taking hold of a car to gain his balance and Harry was almost jumping over him with his eyes firing. I squealed in the same moment that Harry collided with James and James retaliated and punched him back. I wasn´t able to fully react in that moment, too surprised and… well, scared. They were having a major fight in the floor of a garage!! What if a reporter saw them? What if Fletch saw them?!! That was worse.

I could only stand there, watching them roll around on the floor in slow motion and void of sound, hitting each other and kicking and punching whatever they could take a hold of. As stupid as it can sound, I had never seen a fight this close and this… hard.

It took me some time to react and by the time I did it they had already done as much damage as possible without an external weapon. I knew I need to intervene and separate them, because that was the right thing to do. But between knowing it and actually doing there's a lot. I had to forced myself to moved closer to them.

When I finally stepped near them, everything, sound, color, movement, came back to me forcefully. I leaned fast to clutched Harry's arm –he was the one on top at that very moment – and tried to push him away, but that only got me knocked to the floor when he pushed me back quite harshly.

But now that I had made a decision, I wasn´t going to give up. So I leaned back, determined, and to grabbed him again, yelling whatever I could think of to make them stop.

They ignored me, but now that the shock was gone, I could hear some of the things they were yelling to each other.

They were fighting over me.

Me.

And even when it should have been obvious and I kinda suspected it… it was a shock too.

I had always thought how great and sexy would be to have two boys wanting to kill each other over you. But it really wasn´t.

I wasn´t feeling great and fabulous for having them fighting.

I felt guilty.

It was all my fault. I had completely ruin a friendship because… because I'm a spoild brat that it's used to do whatever she wants.

I had never thought of it that way and it was quite a revelation for me. It shocked me even more than the fight itself.

It was my fault.

It was my fault.

Oh, fuck…

That made me even more determined to stop them so I took off my heels and tried to stop them again. Even when Harry was the one clearly owning, James was not giving up and he wasn´t weak enough to let Harry own the fight completely. And he was just as difficult to stop than him. In my quest for the Stopation of the Stupy Fight, I was thrown to the floor at least five times, two of which were caused by my slipping over some oil in the floor.

Eww!

I didn´t worry about the punches I could receive or the bruises I was going to get. I needed to stop them.

Did I mention I was feeling guilty? Because I was.

…. And I also was at the verge of tears, but we'll just ignore that.

Desperate as I was, I was seriously contemplating putting my heel in the floor behind them to see if a pierce bum was enough to get their attention. But I figured that would make me feel even worst, so I declined.

"Stop this, for fuck's sake!!" I yelled getting tired of the situation.

Of course, it did nothing good at all.

No, wait.

It did nothing at all.

"Come on, guys! Just stop! You're… You're…" I couldn´t think of anything good enough to finish my phrase so I decided on something else that would hopefully work. Because even if I went for the dramatic and stormed off…. Well, that would give them a free pass to kill each other. "Oh!" I exclaimed way too dramatically to be taken seriously. I was thinking Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean. "Oh!! I just remember I don´t have any underwear on!"

And that did the trick.

… Ok, no.

I had to repeat it like four times and only when I yelled it loud and clear for the entire bloody world to hear it and actually kick Harry because he was the closer to me, they stopped.

If only to look at me as if I had just announced there was a fourth party in the situation and it was Big Foot.

And I do mean the mythological creature, not the McFly boy with that tattoo.

I took the opportunity they had given me to kneeled in the floor and make my way between them to stop them, pushing them apart.

… That had so many possibilities to turn into a sexy scene…

"Now, can we please act like civilized people? Please?" I asked, trying to sound less desperate and awful than I felt.

Slowly, Harry got to his feet first, forcing me up too by grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me protectively behind him. James didn´t take so long to stand up too.

"Dude, what the fuck? What's wrong with you?!" He exclaimed angrily, glaring at Harry. I tried desperately to observe the situation with an objective bias.

It didn´t really work, but it was nice to dream.

And it helped me to focus on something else than them.

I tried to moved apart from Harry, but his grasp on my arm was too tight to do so.

I wished with all my might to… be away.

Because I had just realized that what I needed to do was to get away of both of them…. And I knew I wasn´t able to do so.

Harry was like a drug.

And James was… like the guy in Chasing Amy to my Amy? Or like ice-cream in a hot day.

"You! You're my problem. Stay the bloody hell away of her!" Harry demanded, breaking my reverie. "She's mine!"

I turned to glare at him –well, at his back, actually-. What the fuck? I wasn´t his at all! I wasn´t nobody's! But for once in my life, I refrained myself from interrupting, knowing that this conversation was way too important for me to interrupt.

…. Well, And I was feeling like shit too so I figured it was better to stay away.

Happy?

"Are you hearing yourself, man?!" James demanded. He was visibly angry, but he was also confused and surprised. He clearly hadn´t expected that reaction from Harry. "She's not your girlfriend!"

"She's not your, either! And you fucking punch me, mate!" James declared just as angry as Harry. I wanted to be in the middle again to pervert any more hitting to happen. "Stop acting like she belongs to you, man!"

"She does!" Harry snapped furious. His fingers were burring in my skin and it hurt, but I ignored that, I wanted to kick him.

"What the fuck?!" James yelled, too confused to really comprehend the extent of what Harry was saying.

I felt awkward.

I felt guilty –but you already knew that-.

I felt bad and sad and… awful.

"Dude, you're fucking mental!"

"You just stay the fuck away of her. She's bloody mine!" Harry ordered in an even, vicious voice. It was kinda scary. But in a way… I know it was completely psycho and insane, but did he cared that much about me to fight with James? And that brought me back to my dilemma. Could I stand there like the Joker?

"You're being ridiculous! She's not a piece of meat or an object to own!" James snapped furious.

…but… I like to be own by him…

I think I blushed after thinking that and the Peter Cricket that wasn´t a pervert came to hit me in my mental head.

"She's not something you want and grab!" James continued, his face was red and his eyes shined angrily. I had never seeing him so angry before. It was somewhat scary. It made me think he could be as bad as Harry.

"You're only saying that because you can´t stand the fact that I shagged her more than once and you didn´t even got close to that!"

And then I really blushed. That was way too much information.

I think knew what was going to happened before actually being conscious of it. I saw James' face changed fast and his fist clinching viciously and violently, furious and angry. I took a step back, closing my eyes in the exact moment when James' fist collided with Harry's jaw, making him stumble back and push him to me, making me lose my balance. I didn´t fall to the floor because Harry, despites it all, didn´t let go. In my sick and twisted mind I thought… that it was a signal. Not sure of what but it seemed good enough to be considered in that moment.

"You seriously think she's just an object you can fuck!" James snapped as Harry regained his balance and closed the grip in my arm even more. He was trembling. That was how furious he was. "Tallulah." He said, turning to me. I was too surprised to do anything else but look at him. "You deserve so much better."

I wasn´t sure of that and I was about to tell him that, but Harry interrupted me.

"Like a pillock that can´t even give her what she wants?" He said coldly.

"The only reason I didn´t fuck her was because I didn´t think The Circle Club was a good enough location! But if you're so dying to know, she has an amazing mouth!" James blurted out rabid.

Harry was shocked, he even let go of my arm for an instant, but I didn´t move. He glared at James. "And you're telling me I think she's a piece of meat?" He laughed bitterly.

"What we have, whatever it is, doesn't need sex to make it last. What would you do if you can have sex with her? Probably just get another toy." James spitted.

That hurt, because he was probably right. I was only a living sexdoll for Harry, right? Nothing else, nothing more. And even when I deeply enjoyed it…

"Ok, stop!" I interrupted before Harry could answer anything. Both men looked at me as if they only remember there that I was still in the room -garage-.

Good to know I'm that forgettable no matter how much they can fight over me…

"This… this is stupid, ok?" I said, looking at both of them. "You're supposed to be friends. And you're fighting over a girl! Believe me, I'm not that good to be fighting over."

"Tallulah, stay out of it if the only thing you're going to do is say stupid things." Harry snapped, turning me around so he could look me in the eyes. His gaze was so powerfully lustful that I felt my knees gave up. I only remained standing because he was holding me up.

"Don´t treat her like that!" James demanded, standing closer to me.

"I'll treat her like I want, ok?! If she doesn´t like it, she can say it herself! She's not your stupid babydoll! She can fight her own battles, believe me!"

"Stop it!" I interrupted again. "This is enough of this stupid game of who's playground is bigger."

"You're the one who put us in this situation!" Harry snapped at me. By the way his hand was closing on my arm, tomorrow I was going to have it completely purple.

I nodded slowly, because he was right. "I know. And I'm sorry. I can´t see you guys fighting like this when even you say I'm not worth it! It doesn´t makes sense."

"It's not your fault, Lula." James said softly.

"I didn´t say you're not worth it." Harry muttered so low I almost didn´t hear him. What was he trying to say with that? I looked up to stare back at his eyes and the temptation to kiss him was too strong.

"It is my fault. Even when I wasn´t aiming for this… I caused it. And I'm sorry. I didn´t want to hurt you because… because I really cared for both of you…"

By then, I was already crying.

Harry's hand lessened the grasp on my arm, but he didn´t let me go. "Both?"

Oh, fuck…

I nodded, ashamed of myself. Was I really that much of a whore? I probably even deserved what Emily did.

"And if I'd forced you to choose…" He trailed off, already knowing the answer.

I couldn´t choose.

"You don´t need to, that's even more stupid." James said with a hurt expression in his eyes.

"I wouldn´t be able." I accepted, sobbing a little. "That's why this is not going to work. Nothing. I… I need to… I can´t be with any of you because that's completely mean of me and I would be hurting one of you and probably both because you two are friends." I said, emphasizing the last part.

James sighed, and nodded slowly. He understood my decision and I could tell by the look in his eyes that even when he hated it, he wasn´t going to fight it. Harry, however, was a totally different case.

"You're breaking this off? You can´t!" He demanded, shaking my arm. I sobbed harder, sad. And the fact that he acted like that was confusing. I was just a sexdoll. He shouldn´t care. And that's why I said the next words, despite the fact they… broke my heart.

"You'll find a new girl almost as good as me, Haz."

As soon as I finished that dreadful phrase I knew I shouldn´t have said that.

Harry glared at me with piercing hurt in his eyes.

"So that's what you think of me, then? I'll make things easier for you." He spitted, and then he turned around and walked away. I called after him, crying, but he just ignored me, entirely.