~.~.~.~.~
A week later, six normal high school girls sat at a table, sharing their lunches with each other, laughing and joking. A small dark-haired girl took a picture with her camera while her friend stuffed her face with French fries. She laughed as she showed it to another dark-haired girl next to her.
"What are we doing this weekend?" a redhead, Allison, said.
"I don't know. Are we all doing something together, or does someone have a date?" Hallie, a glamorously dressed blonde said. Five of the girls went silent, looking to the dark brown-haired girl sitting at the end of the table, paying no attention to the conversation. Or pretending not to.
She looked up from the book she was reading and at the surrounding girls. "What?" she asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"Got a date this weekend?" Jessica asked from her right.
"No, look's like the guys aren't interested in me anymore," she said shrugging. The girl's looked at her in shock. Several of their mouths hung open.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding," Hallie laughed, still shocked.
"Yeah, Anouk, you could have any guy here with the snap of your finger!" Jessica exclaimed. She leaned forward, speaking more quiet. "I bet you could even get one of the Cullen boys to ask you out."
Anouk snorted and took a bite of her apple. "That's ridiculous. Besides, who says I want to date anyone?"
Jessica shook her head and dropped the subject. Any one of these girls would kill to look like Anouk, but she didn't pay much attention. She just went about her days, politely turning down the guys that had worked up enough courage to ask her out. In fact, most of the male population of the school knew she was off limits. It suited her just fine.
"What math are you taking?" Georgina asked Anouk as she flipped her black hair behind her shoulder. She was almost as pretty as Anouk. Almost. They both went to the same dance studio, and had similar interests. Though Georgina would never admit it, she was jealous of Anouk, and did everything Anouk did, so that maybe she could be just like her.
"Calculus," Anouk said. "Why?"
"I thought that was a senior class?" Georgina said leaning forward. "Are there any other juniors in that class?"
"Yeah," Anouk said, shrugging. She had always been in an advanced math class. "Madison Redfield, and Jasper Cullen."
"Speaking of whom, why Jasper Hale-Cullen staring at you?" Lauren blurted out at Anouk.
Anouk didn't look up from her tray as she took a bite of food. "I think he goes by Cullen. Not Hale-Cullen."
"Whatever," Lauren said. "Why is he staring at you?"
As Anouk had predicted, every girl at the table turned to see if what Lauren said was true. Anouk sighed and glanced over to the Cullen table, but returned to her meal seconds later. She could care less if he was staring at her. She was getting very sick of him; he was so cold and distant whenever she tried to talk to him.
"So . . .?" Jessica prodded.
"What?" Anouk asked.
"Why is he staring at you?" several of the girls said at once. Anouk looked at Jasper again. He was indeed staring at her, but quickly looked down as she looked over.
Anouk turned back to her friends and shrugged. "I don't know. He's weird. I sit next to him in Calc."
"And does he stare then, too?" Jessica said asked, grinning.
Anouk shook her head. "I don't think he likes me very much. Whenever I am around him, he get's all stiff."
"Oh, I think all guys get stiff sitting next to you," Lauren muttered to Allison. Anouk gasped and laughed, astounded. She threw a grape at Lauren.
"Gross, Lauren."
"You know it's true!" Lauren sang. They all laughed. Anouk rolled her eyes.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"I'm asking Carlisle if I can drop out of school."
There were different reactions from everyone as Jasper said this. Alice was smirking. Emmett's mouth was hanging slightly open. Rosalie looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Edward had dropped the keys to the Volvo as had been trying to lock the door as he said it.
"What are you talking about, Jasper?" Emmett said, shaking his head.
"It's because of that girl," Edward said.
"What girl?" Emmett and Rosalie asked looking from Edward to Jasper, though they were clearly asking Edward for the answer.
"The girl from school, in his Calculus class."
"Anouk van der Clare," Alice piped in.
"She's the best looking human I've ever seen. Except maybe for Eva Mendes . . ." Emmett said. Rosalie glared and slapped his shoulder forcefully. "Just kidding . . ."
"Yeah, right," Rosalie said, still glaring. "Wait, so what about her?"
"She's got a hot body," Emmett teased Rosalie. Rosalie tried to glare but smiled instead as she entwined her hand with his.
"And Jasper likes this girl, Edward?" she asked him.
"He likes her blood," Alice said, nodding.
"It's the sweetest smelling blood in the school," Edward said. "According to Jasper."
"Wow," Emmett said, smirking. "Funny how she just happens to sit right next to him."
Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, sighing.
"You can't give up. You have to try Jasper," Alice said, putting a hand on his shoulder as he was finally acknowledged. "I know you can do it."
"I did try, Alice." They walked into their house, going straight to the living room and sitting on the couches clean, white couches. "And I have decided that I can't do it. Today I felt like I was just going to. . ." he trailed off, not wanting to alarm the others. "It's safer for everyone if I just stayed away from humans."
"And what, stay locked up in this house all day?" Emmett asked, amazed. "There will be humans everywhere you go. And the longer you are away from them, the harder it will be for you to control yourself around them."
Jasper stood and began walking out of the room, not looking at anyone's face. "I'll just lock myself in my room, then." He said as he stomped up the stairs. He walked into his room, slamming the door behind him, but it made no sound as it closed. He spun around. Alice had caught the door, and was now smiling at him as she came into his room, and sat on his couch.
"We'll help you," she said, smiling.
"No, Alice," he said, sifting through the books on his shelf instead of looking at her. "It's obvious I can't be helped. I've been with this family for how many years now? And I still can't control myself."
"It takes time," she said softly. "You've improved so much, Jazz."
"No, I haven't!" Jasper said a little louder, and a little more frantically as he spun to face her. "Most of the time I just hold my breath!" He turned away again, ashamed. "Face it, Alice, I'm just a liability to this family, to this town. I'm dangerous."
Alice's hand was on his shoulder then. She squeezed it gently. "You've got to have some faith in yourself, you know."
Jasper let out an amused breath. "Faith, right."
Alice sighed and let her hand slip from his shoulder. "Well, I have faith in you. So do the others. Know that." She gracefully walked out of his room, closing the door without a sound.
He sat in his room, watching the wind blow in the trees outside his window for about an hour. He knew he couldn't drop out of school, and even if he did, Emmett was right. The longer he was away from humans, the harder it would be to control himself.
The others just don't understand how horrible it feels to not be able to control yourself.
But he was going to try. He had to. For his family's sake.
He reluctantly went to the school the next morning. He went straight to class when they arrived. He wasn't the first one in class, but it was nearly half empty. He silently sat in his seat.
The girl in front of him was wearing a lot of perfume, which made Jasper feel a little more at ease; maybe it would drown out the smell of blood. Maybe. She wasn't there yet. Which was fine with Jasper; he could prepare himself for her arrival.
As if on cue, she walked through the door and down the aisle to her seat, putting one black boot in front of the other as her grey skirt swayed side to side. Jasper was excited to see that almost every inch of her body covered; thick leggings, and a long jacket over her sweater in addition to the perfume made her scent less noticeable than usual. But he could still smell it.
She set her bag down, but did not sit. Jasper panicked with every step as she walked closer to him. Barely glancing at him, she walked in between his desk and the one in front of him, grabbing the latch of the window and twisting it so it was unlocked. She leaned forward as far as she could, putting her left leg up slightly to reach farther, and opened the window as far as it could.
"What are you doing?!" Jasper said angrily, and somewhat frantically as the breeze blew past her, carrying her scent straight to his face. Jasper inhaled it deeply and leaned forward a little onto his desk, gripping the sides tightly. She leaned back inside with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm opening the window," she said, unsmiling and annoyed. She had finally come around earlier in the week, and responded appropriately to Jasper's behavior. She mostly ignored him now, but Jasper still felt her annoyance.
"No! Keep it closed!" he said quickly as he reached to close the window. She blocked his way. Jasper stopped his hand immediately before he touched her.
"Are you out of your mind? It's stuffy and stifling in here!" she pointed out angrily.
"But it's cold outside, and the wind is blowing." Jasper reached passed her (tensing as he nearly touched her) and closed the window.
"But without the window open, the air won't circulate and the room will get too hot," she explained, opening the window again, and then crossing her arms across her chest defensively. "And Madison Redfield is very intolerant of heat; she breaks out in hives."
"I'll catch a cold," Jasper said reasonably, shutting the window.
"I'll smother in the stuffy air."
"The wind will make it hard to hear."
"It'll be an oven in here once the heater really kicks in."
"Something will blow into my eye."
She opened her mouth to retort, but quickly closed it. She was amused at the conversation they were having, and she smiled though she wasn't happy. "Fine. The window stays closed."
"Thank you," Jasper sighed, sitting in his seat. She sat down in hers.
"Yup," she said, crossing her legs facing the opposite direction of him, almost turning her back to him.
For the entire class, Jasper felt her annoyance and anger toward him in waves. She glared at him once, even. Jasper didn't like that one bit. Though she was human, and he avoided her at all costs, he wanted her to like him. At least for her to be amiable towards him.
When the bell rang she hurriedly shoved her folder into her bag, dropping her pen on the ground. Jasper picked it up. He set it on her desk. She grabbed it quickly and stood up.
"Have I offended you in any way?" Jasper asked her, surprised at even himself for asking the question.
She faced him. "I could be asking you the same thing. You are cold to me for the whole week, no matter how nice I am to you, and when you do speak to me it's to argue about a window. I don't get it. I never did anything to make you angry, did I?" She didn't look angry, but curious. She shook her head at him.
Jasper sighed. He was definitely going about the whole 'don't act weird around people' thing all wrong. "I apologize. You've done nothing wrong."
"Then why?"
"I . . . don't know."
She cocked her head to the side, looking at him curiously. "You're weird." She said it like it was a fact, not an insult.
"I'm . . . sorry?" Jasper said, not quite knowing how to respond to that.
She smiled and laughed a little. "See you later," she laughed as she walked away from him and out of the classroom.
Jasper took a few breaths. She was alive, right? He hadn't done anything harmful, had he? He grunted to himself. Maybe he could do this.
Through all of his classes, Jasper was feeling more and more confident that he could make it through the year, but he still wasn't convinced. Sure, he could talk to Anouk without attacking her, but maybe he was just having a good day. Although, he was surprised how well he coped when she was standing in the window. . .
Before he knew it, Jasper was sitting at his usual table at lunch, next to Edward. He was staring at Anouk without knowing it, watching her listen to her friends' conversations with little expression. He wondered why she wasn't really involved with the conversations, or even really listening; it was easy to see that something else was on her mind.
"She's thinking about how she is going to survive school next week."
Jasper turned his attention away from Anouk and towards Edward. "So . . .?"
"You looked like you wanted to know, again."
"I didn't, again."
Edward smirked at Jasper and leaned away from him. "You shouldn't lie to people who can read your mind."
Jasper rolled his eyes. Edward needed to stop invading his privacy. It was his mind; he should be able to have private thoughts. "You shouldn't talk about that here. Someone could hear you," Jasper said, nodding his head to Edward.
Edward scoffed. "No one's listening." Jasper looked away from Edward and, careful not to look at Anouk again, watched people walk in and out of the cafeteria. "Don't you want to know why she is thinking that?" Edward pressed.
"I don't know, you tell me," Jasper said, not looking at Edward. Edward inhaled, but did not speak. Jasper watched a girl nearly trip as he waited for Edward to say something. When he didn't Jasper turned towards him. "Well, aren't you going to tell me?"
Edward's eyebrows pulled together. "It's something that I don't think I should tell you . . . it's private."
Jasper laughed. "And that bothers you now?" Jasper shook his head at Edward, amused, but did not press him. He turned his attention back to her as she tried to look like she was paying attention to a girl named Jessica. Jasper focused in on her emotions. He was surprised to feel a mixture of sadness and anger in her so he focused even more, trying to make her a little more calm and content, but she seemed to be too far away for it to have much of an effect on her.
She looked over at him curiously then, and gave a look that asked why he was staring at her. He didn't look away immediately, and they stared at each other for a few seconds. She smiled awkwardly at him, obviously not knowing what else to do.
"Now she is wondering why you are—"
"I know," Jasper said looking away and smiling at Edward. "I know."
"Why don't you go talk to her?" Alice suggested in a sweet voice.
Jasper chuckled and turned to Alice. "Would you like this to turn into a bloody feeding frenzy?"
Alice giggled. "Good point." She walked so she stood behind him. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "I told you that you could do it."
"Well, let's see how the rest of the week goes," Jasper told her back. She grinned and swiftly kissed his cheek before skipping away.
He looked back over at the table Anouk sat at. She was picking at her food unsmiling. She turned to him and again they did not look away from each other. He concentrated on her, trying to make her feel less troubled. He saw her face relax a little, though she did not look away. Neither did he. She slowly let her head cock to the side as she watched him. He looked at her unblinkingly.
Her friend tapped her on the shoulder, trying to get her attention. She shook her head and looked away. Jasper looked down at the table as he folded his pale hands together in front of him. He glanced at her without looking up completely, and was surprised to find that he was disappointed that she wasn't looking at him anymore.
Jasper took a breath. Maybe it wasn't that he wanted her blood that made it so dangerous for him to be around her. Maybe he wanted her. Maybe. . .
"That's a bad idea." Jasper looked at Edward as he spoke.
"Stop that," Jasper said, standing. "It's very irritating." He took his tray of untouched food and dumped it into the trashcan as he walked across the room. Anouk and he made eye contact briefly as he walked out of the cafeteria.
Edward was right. That was a very bad idea . . . but he wasn't sure if he could help thinking about it . . .
~.~.~.~.~
Hi, um. Yeah. I hate this chapter. But I had to have it so that the future ones don't seem so abrupt. I promise you, the next chapter will be better, and then after the next chapter will be good chapters. I promise that none will be as retardo as this one is. I swear. And BTW I know the time is passing very fast. It will slow down after next chapter I think :) So stay with me, please!!!
Oh, and comment. Please. I want to hear what you have to say so I can avoid chapters I hate like this.