Disclaimer: See chapter 1
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Linda regretted the words the moment they'd left her lips. Reid stepped back like he had been slapped. "Spencer, I didn't mean anything by…"
"Of…of course I've done things I knew would hurt me, I'm a drug addict, remember."
"Spencer, I didn't mean…" Linda pulled her kimono around her. How had such a sensual moment suddenly gone so bad? "I was talking about, you know, in college when you have bar night and you drink way too much. You know better. You know you're going to pay for it the next day in class but it's so much fun you do it anyway."
"No Linda, I don't know anything about that. I was completing my third doctorate before I even became legal. I was a skinny geeky nerd with glasses and I never got invited to bar night."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's nobody's fault. No one at Cal Tech wanted to hang out with a thirteen year old kid. The only time girls ever paid any attention to me was when they wanted help with papers or something. It was a lonely life. There were no bar nights."
"Spencer I didn't mean to…"
"So after Georgia, I turned to Dilaudid to take me away from my pitiful life. It was wrong then. It's the same with what happened here. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. You'd obviously been upset and I should have realized that, but no, I let my desire for you overtake my judgment. It was wrong then and it's wrong now. Now, because of my selfishness, you're in pain. I'm not going to add to it."
"Don't you dare blame yourself," she tried to stand but failed miserably without her crutches. "I wanted you as much as you wanted me, maybe more. I knew our lovemaking would probably cause me pain but I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to avoid the pain."
Her appeal seemed to fall on deaf ears as he backed up still further and turned away. "I should go," he said sitting on one of the chairs near the bay window to put on his socks and shoes. He gathered his vest, jacket and glock. "You need to rest. I'll…uh…see you." With his head down he headed for the door while Linda, finally standing on her crutches, tried to catch up to him.
"Spencer, please wait."
He turned the knob on the door. "Let's call it a night. Anyway, I need to charge my cell phone." He was out the door and had closed it softly behind him by the time Linda reached the door.
"Damn it!" she said as she pounded on the door with her fist. "Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?" She turned and headed back to the living room, grabbing her cordless phone off the ottoman. She hit speed dial and waited for the call to be answered. "Connie, oh good, I need you to do something for me."
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Reid slammed the door of his apartment, throwing his go bag and messenger bag on the floor just inside the door. "Damn it," why had he let her words get to him? He'd probably scared her away for good. He removed his glock and set his cell on the kitchen counter to charge, heading for the bathroom and a quick shower. He came out of the bathroom his wet hair slicked back. He now wore a tee shirt and plaid sleep pants. He didn't think he'd get much sleep if he went to bed. He surveyed the bookcase and eyed the television trying to decide which would take his mind off the disaster he'd made of things with Linda when the buzzer roused him from his musings. He glanced at the clock on the wall, 11:18, who came calling at this hour? "Yeah," he said into the box, unaware of the annoyance in his voice.
"Spencer," her soft tones came through the speaker.
Linda! What was she doing here? "Linda," he said into the microphone.
"In the flesh," the voice in the speaker said.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"No offense Spencer, but since I'm standing in the vestibule of your apartment complex ringing your buzzer, it doesn't take a genius to figure out I came to talk to you."
"How did you know where I live?"
"I got it from your file at the hospital. Spencer, you have a woman on crutches who just let her cab go standing down here. Are you going to let me in or should I push one of your neighbors' buzzers?" She looked at the other names. "Perhaps Mrs. Greeley?"
Oh God, Reid thought, not Mrs. Greeley. She was the biggest busybody in the whole building. He couldn't leave her standing down there on crutches. He pushed the button.
Reid was standing at the elevator when it opened. Linda stood there leaning on her crutches thinking he looked so damn good in just a tee shirt and sleep pants. She gave her head a shake and told herself not to think about that now although it took all her willpower. In place of her kimono she now wore olive green cargo pants with a matching tank featuring embroidered leaves around the vee neck. She'd slipped her feet into a pair of flat brown Mary Janes.
"Are you okay?" he couldn't hide the concern in his voice.
"I'm fine," she said, finally stepping out of the car. They walked down the hallway towards Reid's apartment and as she stepped through the door she surveyed his home. The door opened between the dining area on the left which consisted of a small round oak table topped with smoked glass and four oak chairs upholstered in cream tweed combined with an oak hutch against the nearest wall and the kitchen on her right. It was galley style with a centre island. The oak cabinetry was complemented by beige and grey speckled countertops. The appliances were stainless steel.
Further to the left was the living area. A cream colored sectional sat on the hardwood floors. In front of it on a cream and brown checked area rug sat a square glass coffee table with intricately carved oak legs. A matching end table sat beside the sectional next to the wall. A large plasma screen TV sat kitty corner opposite the sofa. The wall to the right of the television held a large bookcase that was full to overflowing and the wall to the left featured a beautiful window that would allow the morning sun to stream in during the day but now was covered with wood blinds that added style to the room. Under the window was an oak entertainment centre with a CD player and, from what Linda could see through the smoky glass, a large collection of CDs and DVDs. A couple of pictures graced the top of the entertainment centre. One was a picture of the team, the other a thin middle aged blonde woman.
"I love it," she told him as she entered and headed for the couch. "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here," she said as she sat on the sectional and laid her crutches on the floor.
"Look, if this is about before, I…" Reid began.
"Spencer, I never meant to hurt or demean you in any way. I'm sorry, I should have chosen my words more carefully," she said before Reid got a chance to finish what he'd been about to say.
"No," he insisted, "you shouldn't have to choose your words carefully or censor your conversations. What kind of a relationship do we have if we can't talk openly. I don't want to be with you just for sex, although it was pretty great, and I don't want you to have to worry that I'll take offense at everything you say."
"So you forgive me?" she asked.
"There's nothing to forgive, I overreacted. It's something I'll have to bring up at my next meeting. Maybe the group can suggest a better way for me to deal with those kinds of things."
"I'm sorry, I mean I knew about the Dilaudid but I never stopped to think that your entire life has never been exactly normal," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "my bad."
"Linda, it's not your fault, I…"
"Hey," Linda broke in. "Are we going to sit here and debate this or are you going to offer a girl some coffee or hot chocolate?"
"Oh, uh…sure," he got up and headed for the kitchen. "You should move to the middle so you can put your foot up."
Linda moved as she was told, "Got any of those Star Trek DVDs?" she asked.
"Yeah, there're some in the entertainment centre," he replied as he returned with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "I haven't had this in forever," he said as he handed her a cup.
"Hand me the DVDs and I'll pick out an episode while you pop some popcorn."
Reid handed her the DVD set and again went to the kitchen, this time to return with a steaming bowl of popcorn. He put the DVD she handed him in the machine and selected the requested episode. He sat beside her on the couch.
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The clock on the stove said 3:19 am. The TV screen shone a bright blue light into Reid's living room, the Star Trek episode long over. Two empty cups and an empty bowl sat on the coffee table. Linda slept with her head on Reid's shoulder. His arms encompassed her as his cheek rested on her head, his deep and steady breathing making wisps of her hair stand up. Morning would find them with stiff necks and limbs but rejoicing in possibly the best night's sleep either of them had experienced in a very long time.