Thought I'd get another chapter out while I have the chance. Idk if this is any good, but it's a chapter none the less. Goes to show that not all Spashley encounters are perfect, that they still have their problems.
I got a lot of feedback about the whole Spencer/Felisha thing and I just want to say that I don't believe in cheating, no matter the circumstances, and as much as I wanted to write that Spashley got back together in that last chapter, where would that leave Felisha? She's a twist in the story that makes it a little more dramatic. Plus, she hadn't been in the last couple chapters, I did state that Spencer and her were having problems, but just because they are doesn't mean that Spencer should cheat with Ashley, plus it's not a really great way to start of their new relationship with each other. Spashley rules, no worries, good will prevail. I wouldn't write a South story that was not pro Spashley.
Disclaimer: I don't own South, and I made up Tipped, so if there is any coincidence there I don't own it either. I do however currently own my laptop, my sweet new bed and bed set, my new apartment, and the rogue pop tarts that are currently sitting in front of my face.
Ashley had been sitting in the back room of Tipped for the past thirty minutes. She hadn't moved from the seat that she had collapsed in, she hadn't even tried to.
Felisha had shown up. Felisha had shown up with Spencer. Felisha had shown up with Spencer and had her arm around her.
When she had asked Spencer to come hang out, not once was Felisha's name mentioned. She was more than a bit confused. Usually when one asks somebody to hang out it's common courtesy to let the other person know if somebody else is going.
She was brought out of her thought process by somebody knocking on the door. She didn't have to hear her voice to know that it was Spencer.
'Hey, I've been waiting for you to come back out. Is everything okay? You just kind of rushed off stage.' Spencer asked as she closed the door quietly.
'Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking. I'll be out in a minute. I just need to clear my head.' Ashley said distractedly. She didn't want to talk to Spencer right now, the last thing she needed was to have word vomit and say things that she so desperately had been trying to keep in.
'You're lying, you think I don't know you, but I do.' Spencer said as she took a seat next to Ashley.
'I'm not lying. Spencer, look, I'm not really in the mood for this right now.' Ashley said as she rubbed her temples.
'Not in the mood for what? You asked me to come here and hang out and all of the sudden your mood has changed and now you don't want to hang out.'
'That's exactly it Spencer! I asked YOU to come and hang out. YOU and YOU alone, it wasn't an open invitation for anybody to come!' Ashley said, frustrated with the woman in front of her.
'So this is about Felisha?' Spencer asked, confused.
'It always seems to be Spencer. You know how important my music is to me, I told you not even two minutes before I went back onstage that I wanted to share it with you, not anybody else.' Ashley said as she stood up out of her chair and walked over to her bag.
'What was I supposed to do? She asked if she could come, I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't know that you were going to be performing tonight, you didn't tell me. I wouldn't have said it was okay for her to come if I had known that you didn't want her here.' Spencer explained.
'Why would I want her around us when we hang out Spencer? Don't you think that it hurts me to see that?' Ashley said as she frantically started shoving her things into her bag.
'What is that supposed to mean?' Spencer asked.
'Nothing, it means nothing, just forget I said anything.' Ashley said dejectedly as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and began walking to the door.
Spencer grabbed her arm before she could open the door and stopped her.
'No Ashley, this isn't how it's going to work. You don't get to just run away from your problems again. I thought you had changed, but here you are running from them again, running from me.' Spencer yelled.
'What do you want me to say Spencer? You wanna hear the truth? Fine, I'll tell you the truth. I asked you here tonight to listen to my music, to share something special with you. I want you, I always have, I've always loved you Spencer, and I've never stopped. You seem to forget that it was me who was ready to give my whole being to you. That doesn't just disappear, love like that doesn't disappear Spencer. Do you not see that it hurts me every time I see you with her? Don't you see my heart has been breaking ever since we broke it off?'
Spencer stood in the dressing room, her hand still gripping Ashley's arm, not knowing what to say.
'Ash, I, god I don't even know what to say.'
'You're like this fucking virus! You're in my head all of the time, you're in my head and you're in my heart and you're fucking eating away at me until I'm nothing! I need you, I'm addicted to you, but you don't seem to notice it.' Ashley exploded, yanking her arm out of Spencer's grasp.
'You think I don't feel this either?! You think I just stopped having feelings for you the minute you stepped out of my house?! Ashley, it's not that easy, I've tried to move on. You know I have, but you're always that false sense of hope in the back of my head. I waited for you for two years now, and now that I have somebody and am trying to move on with my life you come back and expect everything to be fixed? That's not how it works Ashley, you can't just come into my life and shake it up and then expect to leave like it was absolutely nothing.' Spencer yelled back at Ashley.
'Who said I was going to leave? There you go, being Spencer, assuming that I'm not adult enough to stick it out. I was willing to stick it out two years ago when you were ready to run!' Ashley shouted.
'Would you stop throwing that in my face?! I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was without you. You were ready to stick it out so much that when I asked you to, you decided that it was too much distance and that it was all or nothing. That sure sounds like sticking it out to me Ashley. What it really is is a coward move. You were insecure in our relationship. I trusted you a hundred percent in our relationship, but you couldn't trust me at all when you had no right to distrust me!'
'You were asking me to let you move across the fucking country for Christ sakes Spencer! You were asking me to let you move across the country for four years, without me, and live your own life. That sounds like a cop out of our relationship if you ask me. If you didn't want to marry me, all you had to do was say no. Instead you played with my emotions, letting me think that you actually wanted a future with me, and when I finally start planning our future you back out. Who the fuck does that Spencer?!'
'Somebody who has to figure themselves out before they can truly be with the one they love. I loved you Ashley, I really did, but in order for me to be with you I had to figure out who I was without you. You were always the confident one, you knew what you were going to do with your life, you had it all mapped out, and if your plans fell through you always had something to fall back on. I didn't Ashley; I had nothing to fall back onto.' Spencer screamed.
'Bullshit! You knew I would have taken care of you Spencer! There was never a question about that!' Ashley defended.
'Exactly! I didn't want you to have to take care of me. I wanted to find myself, to do something with my life, find my career and have a life, a life with you in it, but you couldn't understand that. You were too damn stubborn; you still are too fucking stubborn. I wanted to marry you so badly, but I wanted to make sure that I knew who I was before I did. I've never been the overly confident girl, like you. I had to figure things out for myself, you know that. You just couldn't deal with me having a life outside of you!' Spencer yelled more.
'You got what you fucking wanted, a life outside of me! Tell me Spencer, how's it been? How've these last couple years been, pretending that everything is just fucking peachy with Felisha, when you and I both know who you are supposed to be with? Does she know Spence? Ha, does she know that she'll never have your heart the way that I do?' Ashley asked aggressively as she moved towards Spencer.
'You don't know what you're talking about.' Spencer said as she felt her back hit the door of Ashley's dressing room.
'Oh I don't? I'm not naïve Spencer; I know that I have your heart, just like you have mine. I know who I belong to, and I'm done denying it.' Ashley said.
'What makes you think you're so right? I'm with Felisha now, and have been for a while. What makes you think that she doesn't have my heart?' Spencer asked.
Ashley moved to grab Spencer's hand and placed it on her chest as she placed her own on Spencer's.
'Because Spence, nobody makes my heart beat like this. Nobody has ever made me feel like an idiotic four year who can't put intelligent sentences together. Nobody has ever made my heart jump like this. Nobody has ever made my heart ache like you do. Not one single person Spence, you're it for me. And from the rhythm of your heart, I know that I'm it for you too.' Ashley said quietly as she stared into Spencer's eyes.
'Ashley…' Spencer trailed off.
'Spencer, just tell me to leave, tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that everything I'm feeling is felt by me and me alone, tell me that you aren't still in love with me and I'll leave you alone. I'll go back to being out of the picture so you can live your life without me and move on.' Ashley challenged.
'Don't ask me to do that. That's not fair.' Spencer pleaded.
'Tell me Spencer, tell me that Felisha is all that you've ever wanted. Tell me that she makes your heart beat out of your chest. Tell me that you can see a future with her with little blue eyed, blond haired kids running around. Tell me you're in love with her and I'm gone.'
'I-I'm in love with her.' Spencer said with tears running down her check.
Ashley let Spencer go and stepped back to let her move around her. She heard the door open and close and she knew that Spencer had left.
She had been standing in the same spot, she wasn't sure how long, but she finally moved to the small mirror/desk to grab her bag. When she reached it she stared at herself in the mirror.
What had she become? Ashley Davies had gone from a crazy promiscuous teenager, to a teenager in love, to a young woman with a fiancée and a future, to a young woman with nothing left in her life, to a young woman starting to get back on track, to a young woman who put her heart on the line for the person she loved, to a young woman crushed.
She took one last look in the mirror before she swung her fist and smashed it into the mirror.
As the glass fell to the floor, Ashley grabbed her bag and walked out of Tipped and off into the dark L.A. night.
This time, without her heart.
Review?? I know, it was drammmmmma. Lol. But let me know, and no worries, this fic is pro Spashley, is there any other way to do it?