Fair Ain't What I'm Looking For
Chapter Five: From A Third Story Window
Jack looked to David, the two of them simply sitting at the back of the building they lived in. Staring up would only make Jack feel disappointed. There was no sky down here in The City. All this place had to offer was cold metal, glass, and even colder, slightly damaged, and strange people.
Jack looked beside him David was staring at the ground. It wasn't real grass, but it came pretty damn close. From what he understood it never grew, never died, just stayed green.
"I can't believe you told Shawn you refused to move," finally came David's voice, somewhat amused.
Jack smiled, "Well, I said I wanted to live with you didn't I?"
"I can't believe he let you stay."
"I'd hate living by myself, in a big empty place like this? I don't know how you do it, Davey," though he did understand.
"I was the one who found you, you know?" David looked to him.
"You did?" Jack stared him straight in the face.
David immediately went back to looking at the ground, "Yeah, everyone patrols, well except Robert for obvious reason. You were out cold, and very heavy."
"Carried me all by your little self, didja?" he smiled and nudged David's arm somewhat laughing.
"I'm usually on my own, so," David slightly smiled and shrugged.
The smile on Jack's face dissipated and he nudged David till he looked at him, a serious expression on his face, "Next time you patrol, I'll go with you."
David nudged Jack back and smiled, "You don't have to."
"Yeah well, Davey, I want to," Jack just decided to lean against instead of nudging him again.
David stiffened, still unused to someone so close to him his voice came out a little tight, "...thanks, Jack."
"So, Anthony's party, day after tomorrow, I don't have to bring a gift do I?"
David snorted, "Like you could afford one or even go out and get one for that matter."
"I'll just take one of your expensive looking mirrors, regardless of the weird melting around the edges on the glass," Jack sat up straight looking to nudge him again.
"Uh, I think that's called stealing," David nudged him back smiling a little brighter, some of the awkwardness of touching abating.
David was starting to get the feeling that Jack was just a very hands on kind of guy. He also seemed to talk a bit with his hands the more comfortable he got. Jack also seemed to enjoy talking he was an oddly happy guy.
"Stealing, borrowing with no intention of returning, all the same thing," they were still in a nudging contest.
"Till you borrow something from the wrong person," David attempted to swat at him and missed.
Jack caught him laughing slightly as David teetered forward, then paused upon realizing how close they were to one another's face. For a brief moment they just continued to stare at each other.
Jack swallowed and said barely above a whisper, "Ain't that the story of my life."
David seemed to catch up with reality and straightened himself up, "Uh, anyway, about Anthony's party, we just have to attend, that's all."
"Should we...bring food?" Jack noticed just a hint of color on the other boy's face.
David stopped right before he said no, then opened mouth again, "Probably, because if Ryan really is cooking, Anthony should get at least one edible dish."
Jack simply nodded.
As luck would have it, David had been sent notice that he had patrolling duty. First thing in the morning, as soon as Fletcher got back from his shift, which usually took place in the dark between morning and night. David didn't bother Jack yet; they still had sometime before light would pick up on the surface. So he decided he'd make something to eat.
They would only be out for five hours they would be covering for Christopher who had apparently disappeared for the better part of yesterday. Shawn hated it when people left without notice. Christopher had actually been doing it a lot more recently, no one really knew why. So Shawn was going to be yelling at Christopher for a few hours, then be sent to do some kind of grunt work. That's usually how things worked down here.
A noise came from the top of the spiraling stairs and David looked up moments later to find Jack in a disheveled state hitting the last step. Jack was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, scratching the back of his leg, and yawning. David found it quite comical for some reason. Like maybe Jack was nothing more then a kid, but that was probably most surely far from the truth.
"Morning Jack," David went back to finishing up the food.
Jack all but gracefully fell into a chair and rested his chin on the counter, watching David, "What're you doing up, s'early. Too early."
David smiled down at the sandwich halves as he placed them in a small wooden box, "What about all that talk about patrolling with me?"
"You kidding me? We have to do it this early?"
"Sometimes earlier Jack, you should probably go get ready," David set the wooden box aside and wiped his hands on a dirty cloth.
Jack looked like he stifled a random painful hick-up slash yawn, his body slightly bouncing in the process.
David winced, "You ok?"
Jack thumped his balled fist against his chest and cleared his throat slight color touching his face, "Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go clean up now."
David followed Jack's suit and went to change and finish washing up.
After two and a half hours Jack and David settled in on the branch of a rather large tree so they could eat. It was high enough and full of leaves so that someone walking below couldn't see them, but not the other way around. Jack was finishing up his second sandwich as David looked curiously over at him.
"Jack, can I ask you something, you said before that the reason you started running was because you had nothing left to stay for, right?"
Jack nodded, sort of realizing what he was getting to.
"Well, if that was the case that only meant you had left...So, I guess, why did you really start running?" he continued to stare at Jack, that perplexed look still adorning his face.
Jack cleared his throat and took a drink from the canteen then took a deep breath before starting.
"I met this girl," the look on David's face made Jack smile, "I was under the impression I was normal, see?"
David held back a small laugh and smiled as he took a bite of his own sandwich.
"I don't even remember her name anymore, lively little thing though. Found me ducked out in an empty house. Came to visit everyday gave me clothes and brought me food. We got along very well."
"If you got along, what happened?" David handed Jack another sandwich.
"Her brother. She took me home one day and damn he was something to look at. Didn't know that's what I was thinking at the time, caught on real quick though. Scared the hell out of me when I realized it."
He looked to David and just continued.
"So I started to overcompensate, you know what I mean? Steal nice things to give her, kiss the back of her hand, opened doors for her. She liked to say she made me. I ain't no puppet, didn't wanta be compared to one neither."
David furrowed his brows, "You did something drastic didn't you?"
Jack smiled and ducked his head, "She was furious. Yelled at me a lot. Regretted bringing me to her house where I could pervert and taint her brother."
"You didn't?" David looked shocked and surprised, but very interested.
"She said she had a feeling I was one of those people, said she should have known better rather then look past it," Jack looked a little annoyed as he kept talking, "little self proclaimed princess thought she could have it all. Got her brother in trouble in the process of trying to rat me out."
David looked slightly mortified, as he entertained the thought that this girl and his sister could probably be the best of friends, "What happened?"
"I called her a liar, plain and simple. Brother said she was making it up too. Got to thank my father for my being a very convincing liar."
"What happened to her?"
Jack shrugged really quick and continued with an equally very quick answer, "Got fined for lying to the authorities. I left that night and got as far away as my feet could take me and just kept going. Running didn't happen for months later once they found out the truth. Sort of like I'm a regular old fugitive."
David smiled, "You're definitely in the right company."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jack put on a somewhat goofy opened mouth smile as he bit into his sandwich.
-x-
The party was anything but grand. They were in a different room in Shawn and Anthony's building, a large and structurally decorated dinning room. A huge plaque above the entryway was destroyed marring the name of whom ever use to own this extravagant building, Shawn's name painted above it.
The food that sat on the table looked edible and smelled good, but Jack and David still looked a bit wary. They were sitting at a long rectangular table, Anthony and Shawn sat in the middle facing the door, no one apparently was allowed to sit at either head of table.
Ryan, Nick, and Christopher all sat across from the birthday boy and his lover. Jack was a little annoyed how no one else was sitting on the other side of the table. He was crammed next to Robert, while Fletcher and David sat at the other end of the table.
"We need entertainment, you two, sing," Shawn stared over at Christopher and Ryan.
Both looked baffled, but Ryan spoke first, "I'm sorry, I didn't take choir then drop out to become part of a singing duo years later for your amusement."
"But you and Chris were good," said Nick tugging on Ryan's sleeve.
"Seriously Shawn, that was high school," said Chris helping himself to some food.
"You act like no one can hear you two when you think no one else is around," said Shawn scoffing.
"I don't want to hear them sing, it's my birthday, I'd like to keep my hearing," Anthony smiled and shoveled some food on to Shawn's plate.
Shawn stared at the food on his plate, if there was at least one thing Shawn was scarred of it was Ryan's cooking. At least that thought amused Jack.
"WE CAN SING!" both Christopher and Ryan popped out of their chairs, hands slamming lightly on the table.
Robert flinched for a second but he stared down at his empty plate then down the other end of the table where Fletcher was at. That seemed to calm him down.
"Damn right!" Shawn smiled, satisfied he'd got his way.
Jack had to hand it to them, they were really good. After they finished, Shawn stood up and cleared his throat.
"So, another year has past and," he slapped his hand down on Anthony's shoulder, smiling, "the damn bastards still kicking. Take that fucktards."
Anthony stared up at Shawn, a strangled astonished look on his face, "Shawn, this is why I don't let you write your own speeches for special events."
"It's like our first Christmas all over again," muttered Christopher, but in a well-meaning manner.
Shawn heard him, "Fuck them and their holidays. Down here, every day's a bar mitzvah."
"You're only saying that because I'm here, and also Shawn, WOW," David couldn't help it sometimes.
Shawn shrugged, "Religion still exists, right?"
Jack shrugged, Anthony smiled, David rolled his eyes, and everyone else of coherent sanity all smirked and tried to stifle their laughs.
"What?" he furrowed his brows, but sat huffily and undignified back in his seat.
"Cake!" yelled Nick hauling Ryan out of the room and into the kitchen.
Anthony turned to Christopher, "I get cake, this really is the best birthday ever. Shawn's mad, Ryan didn't cook-"
That comment seemed to make everyone else, apparently only Christopher, Anthony, Ryan, and Nick seemed to harbor this knowledge, dig into the food.
The cake was a decent size, white whipped cream cheese for icing decorated with light blue frosting for ribbons. Everyone got a piece whether they wanted one or not. Jack was under the impression that cake was a rarity down here. Robert poked at the cake, but seemed hardly interested in actually eating it.
Jack turned to talk to him, but then Shawn abruptly shot out of his chair taking Anthony with him.
"We'll be back in a few minutes, entertain yourselves till then, I gotta give Anthony his birthday gift," he dragged Anthony out of the room a devious look on his face.
"Just a few minutes?" Christopher smiled as Shawn's indignant yell came from down the hall, but he didn't come back in the room.
Jack looked up and saw David making an odd motion he frowned for a second till he got it. He grabbed his plate and politely asked Fletcher if he would change seats with him. Fletcher happily obliged and moved to the other end of the table.
"So, what's up?" asked Jack as he sat down.
"You looked bored," David shrugged and smiled.
"Where's the bathroom in this place?"
A rather odd squawking sound came from down the hall, everyone stopped and stared for a moment. Then they all went back to their own conversations.
David got up, "I'm going to show Jack the bathroom, we'll be back."
"Actually the regular one is out of commission-"
"You mean stopped up," supplied Nick smiling.
"Yeah, that, so you'll have to use the one in the study for now," said Christopher pointing at the door to leave the room.
"Break enough toilets, Chris?" muttered Fletcher.
David lead Jack to the door and they could hear the others still talking as they closed the door.
"It was Ryan's fault this tim-" their voices tapered off the farther they walked from the dinning room.
Jack looked sheepishly at David as they entered the study also known as Shawn's room of business.
"What's wrong?" David looked worried.
"I didn't actually have to go, I just wanted to know where it was," he shrugged.
"Oh, um," David closed the door behind them, "I guess we should wait a few before going back, don't want to look suspicious or nothing."
Jack shrugged.
David for all his talk about not looking suspicious started running his fingers along the rows of notebooks. He shrugged and grabbed one at random.
"David, I don't think we're supposed to be doing that," Jack walked over to him, glancing over David's shoulder as he opened the notebook.
The words on the pages were very neatly written, extremely elegant handwriting. Jack watched as David's finger started following the words on the inked page half way through the left page...
Shawn was hardly different, but hardly the same as well. In the beginning he would randomly strike out violently, hardly ate, he was so thin. Then he got it in his head somehow that he was always being watched. It was driving him crazy. He'd locked himself away in his room and I wouldn't see him for days. Then one day in the middle of the night Shawn came to my window and woke me. My window only opened halfway, so that I couldn't leave. It had been that way since Shawn and I got caught. I had been a prisoner in my own home while Shawn had to suffer alone in that horrible place.
He told me he was leaving, that he'd be back, but at the time I honestly thought I'd never see him again. He'd taken everything of value from the home he'd been placed in and planned on selling it to find a new place. A safe place. I really thought he lost it. He'd shakily slid his hand through the space in the window and I desperately held onto it because I truly did believe I'd never see him after tonight. We stayed like that for quite a while till he finally pried his ice-cold hand from me and walked away. It would be months before I saw him again.
In the time he was gone Ryan and Nick had been found out. Ryan was in the same position as I. Nick never spoke about what happened to him, but Ryan said he could give Shawn a run for his mental strength. Chris wasn't so badly off as us, but still got punished for being a sympathizer. He was lucky. I'd heard that sometimes sympathizers got it worse then the convicted. No simple quick death or someone messing with your mind to try and fix you. It usually ended with the sympathizer being driven to kill themselves out of guilt and shame.
The next time I saw any of our group was the night Shawn came back. He and Chris and a box of tools finally got me out of that wretched room. There was little time for celebrating as we all moved to Ryan's. He'd been staring vacantly at a blank white piece of paper surrounded by torn scraps of paper with writing scrawled on it. The second he was free of his room he rushed straight for Nick's.
It had been so much harder to get him out and we'd had so little time left before we got found out. They had built a special place to keep Nick it was tall a dim light shone through the bottom windows and flickered. When we peered inside a man sat sleeping on a chair in front of an old TV. We took it as a sign and I did the sign of the cross top, bottom, left, right and I silently prayed as Chris, Ryan, Shawn, and I scaled the building.
We checked window by window, Nick's was at the top. It must have only been minutes, but felt as if we'd hit some pause in time and dragged on for eternity. Once we got the window open Ryan climbed inside, but there was no sign of Nick. The gray blue wallpaper was tearing and the bed was neatly made, like it had never been slept in. A long rope sat on the edge it had been tied into a noose. No one said anything. That's when we heard it, the rhythmic sound of gentle thumping coming from the closet.
When Ryan opened the door, there was Nick, his arms wrapped around his legs as he rocked back and forth tapping his head against the side of the closet. The look on Ryan's face was something I'd never forget. It tore at me for days, more so, because of the fact that when Ryan reached out his hand the bright smile Nick wore when he took it, never died after that.
David slammed the book shut, "I really feel like I just invaded someone's personal privacy."
"Uh, you did," said Jack.
The both of them jerked their heads in the direction of the door. The sound of Shawn's voice just outside caused a jolt of panic to course through their bodies. David quickly shoved the book back in it's place and turned to Jack.
"Kiss me!"
"What?!"
"Seriously, right now!"
David didn't wait and yanked Jack against him causing the two of them to crash into the books. David winced in pain and some of the books fell to the floor. David clenched his eyes shut and meshed his and Jack's mouths together. David realized he should have came up with a better plan, because he didn't want to stop kissing Jack when the door opened.
Though Jack had been caught off guard it didn't stop him from deepening the kiss. He may have got a little carried away as they slid down. David banged his head on each shelf as they slid to the ground.
"Wow, really not what I was expecting," said Shawn leaning against the door frame.
"Thanks for knocking the books down," said Anthony arching an eyebrow at them, "if you're gonna be doing that, go home."
David finally pulled away from the kiss and just stared directly up at Jack trying to catch his breath. Jack stared down at him doing the same, ignoring the fact that Anthony and Shawn were talking and watching them. What he knew, what he felt was so, different then all the other times he'd ever...David was different. Jack suddenly came to the realization that what he felt for David was more then just respect and friendship. A warm smile touched Jack's lips as he continued to stare down at David.
At that moment David felt like this weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. Not two seconds later the smile that crossed David's face, was real. It was obvious to him, it was obvious to Jack.
Anthony slid his hand over Shawn's mouth and whispered to him, "I think...David, just fell in love?"
Shawn removed Anthony's hand and whispered back, "Just?"
"Well..." Anthony shrugged and cocked a smile.
"I'm all for letting them have their moment, but this is my throne room in a matter of speaking."
Anthony nodded in understanding, "Okay you two, take it back to Hedos."
Anthony clapped his hands loudly breaking Jack and David out of their moment causing a hint of color to tint David's face, while Jack just grinned sheepishly at Shawn and Anthony.
Jack got up and reached out to David who took his hand obviously needing the help to get up.
"Uh, I guess we'll be going now, happy birthday Anthony," said David quickly walking out the room.
"Sorry, fearless leaders lover," Jack just mock saluted and casually strolled out.
Anthony turned to Shawn, who shrugged and shut the door behind the exiting pair.
-x-
A/N: Don't ask me why, but I desperately enjoy revealing the kind of pasts they had. So we found out Anthony's notebooks hold more then just population count and death toll.
PS. Much love to Polkadot-Sunstar for betaing this chapter!
PPS. Check out the song Driftwood: A fairy tale by Cursive. I wrote Jack and David's conversation during patrolling to this song. One of many songs in this fic's soundtrack!
Chapter Six: I Wish To Hell
How Chris met Sarah and Jack got David.