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--in which Casey experiences a confrontational conviction--
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She's never been one for seeking a confrontation, at least not actively. She's scared of it cause the last time she actively confronted someone, especially in her old school, she got shoved inside her locker and avoided the hallway for the next to weeks. You see, she learnt her lesson. However with Derek, it's a different thing as is every other thing. With Derek, confrontation is a given.
He does something, she confronts him, he snaps sarcastically, looks oh so handsome, tries to confuse her, sometimes does confuse her, and she yells, storms out of his room and then slams the door of her room. It's a very well established pattern and sure as the earth revolves around the sun, they do their thing.
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It's been a week and she hasn't even heard one peep from him, not one word at all. And it annoys her and worries her cause this silence is deafening and annoying and so oppressive because it sits on her chest and weighs her down and cutting off her ability to breathe. She hates it and it's all his fault because he never ever let her have a moment of silence and she's just so used to him talking and filling the silence, even when he's not talking.
She sits on her bed, chews through her nails, until all the remains are a mangled mess if neatly manicured nails and then makes a decision.
She's going in and if not words come out of her mouth, she'll just bolt out of there like a bat out of hell and take on a vow of silence which she will never break for all her life and then she'll join a cloistered convent and never see the outside world and sit in her tiny little boxy room with it's sparse furnishings and weep over him and have everyone think that she's weeping for all the suffering and evil in the world in the world.
Whew.
Her imagination just ran away with her there with no one to nip it in the bud. She doesn't want it to come to that but it would definitely make his insides churn with guilt if it came to that.
It's a very satisfying feeling.
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She tentatively knocks on his door, doesn't wait for him to answer and enters anyways. He's lying on the bed (and she thinks that these days, at least this part week, that's all he does because her room is right next to hers and the walls are thinner than paper and all she can hear is him breathing in and out, slow and rhythmic.
It soothes her and terrifies her, alternately.)
"Derek." This isn't her voice so scared and timid and she can hardly believe she's even standing upright, let alone breathing because doesn't he know, the silence is crushing her.
He still doesn't reply and she can feel the sweat beading on her lip, tiny little drops and the blood rushes in her ears, thundering and churning. Okay, she is not a wimp but she is kind of feeling faint now. She wonders if she falls, will he spring up and catch her or will he just leave her on the floor in a crumpled mess. Knowing him, it could be any of the two. Because it's Derek and he makes his own decisions.
He stands up and dear lord, he's coming closer and closer and he's taking up her oxygen space, dammit. She inches backwards and he inches closer and she can see a faint stubble around his jaw and suddenly she drops into a chair—because he weeks knees are protesting and wont hold her up any longer and he's looming large over her.
"Yes, Casey." His voice is silky and smooth and the ground is fast slipping out from under her feet, metaphorically because she's sitting and all. But it's time to take it back and be all Casey –like. Meaning, even if she's shit scared she's not going to show it and let him feed of her fear, like some weird...alien? She's not sure that's the word she's looking for but what's in the details?
"Derek." She counters firmly, pushing him back, standing up and backing him all the way into his own bed. Surprise is evident on his features but he masks it quickly lest she sees it but she sees it anyways and she smirks because she learnt from the best and now the student is teaching the master or something like that.
"Why are you not hijacking the bathroom anymore?" she demands and she can tell that the question has thrown him visibly off kilter and he doesn't really know how to reply.
"Because you said so." He hazards vaguely not sure of what the hell is happening. He just wants to protect his balls, just incase he's in danger of having them chopped off and one can never really be too safe as far as the junk is concerned.
Casey's mouth purses in a grim line. By the time she is done, he'll know damn well what is happening. She's going to make sure of that.
"Since when do you listen to whatever I have to say?" she asks skeptically and you really can't blame her because when has Derek ever done something that doesn't involve him benefiting in some way or the other. She'll tell you, almost never.
Derek sits up and Casey draws his computer chair nearby and sits down. It is evident that they have shifted into the territory of Serious Business.
"Well, you've been whining about it only forever, so I thought, for the sake of my sanity, I should take you up on it." He responds smoothly, gaining back lost ground. Casey stares at him askance. Boy, does he really know how to put on a show and act like everything is fucking okay.
"Then you would have done that years ago. Don't disrespect my intelligence and lie to me." She says politely all the while feeling like a crumbling cookie inside.
"You want me to be a brother, so I'm trying." He says, and even though he looks her in the eyes, and all of a sudden, she can see fours years' worth of weariness in there. There's no sparkle and glint, there's just dull brown eyes, looking back at her.
"We both know, we'll never be siblings." She says quietly, finally voicing the truth that has been plaguing them both for the past four years, beginning from when George said that they would all be one big happy blended family to until today where they are anything but happy and still working on the blended aspect.
(See, the thing is everyone else is happy, except for them and everyone else is blended, except for them. But the most agonizing part, no one even notices.)
"But you asked, and that's why I'm trying." Her eyes fill up with tears over that because is that what this was all about, this stupid stalemate, this limbo, all because she asked him to be like a brother?
She asked it just so that he at least couldn't hate her for being there. Not because she wants him to be a brother. She has Edwin for that. Brothers and sisters don't hijack bathrooms and brothers and sisters definitely don't take a much too personal interest in the dating lives of their siblings. And most of all, brother and sisters definitely do not have a weird unresolved tension between them, the existence of which scares the shit out of her.
He sighs in this tiredtired manner and comes closer and wipes away her tears. His voice mechanically tells her that he's too hard-hearted to be swayed by tears but his fingers tell a different story as they gently wipe away the tears from her cheeks.
"I don't want you to be a brother." She hiccups and then tries to wipe away her tears and stop her nose from sniffling. He politely offer her a box of tissues and she takes them, mumbling watery thanks. God, this is embarrassing. She didn't need to breakdown like this in front of him. She just wanted to do it in a calm and collected manner and she could away, with at least her dignity intact. Instead here's she sitting in her, sniffling and blubbering in a chair, while he sits across her, all calm and composed.
(For once couldn't have God answered her prayers. Really, she's not asking for a lot.)
"Are you sure?" he asks in a strangled voice and she looks up quickly to see a slow blush beginning to spread across his face. And through her tears she smiles, glad that she's not the only one being stripped of her dignity because Derek Venturi does not blush, except he's blushing now. Ha!
She nods furiously and suddenly before she knows it, he's shepherded her out of the room, tears and tissues and all.
"8 o'clock tomorrow morning, see you in the bathroom." He says cheerily, before shutting the door on her. And though she's a bit bemused, she smiles widely, tears stained face and red nose and all, forgotten.
The balance of things has finally been restored.
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She goes to the room and she lies on her bed, trying to go to sleep but she can't because, someone in the next room is hopping around and wait, she can even hear squealing. She smiles before shutting her eyes and drifting off into dream land.
These walls really are much too thin.
Sorry for the late update and the slight OOC'ness. Real life caught up and stupid ff. net didn't help either with its lameness. See, I sorta got out of the limbo, even though not fully. It's better to have one foot in rather than two right? And no offence is intended to anyone with the views of the characters. They are merely plot devices and I in no way mean any disrespect.
Anyhow, I think there are at the most two more chapters to the end. :)