Chapter Two: The Psychiatrist
At the Bleeding Hearts Medical Center, Bugs and Wile E. took Daffy up to the man at the counter. Daffy had a grim look on his face.
"This poor fellow needs a psychiatrist," the coyote explained. "He's not himself lately."
The man studied hard. "Hmm… this is serious. You three go sit in the waiting room and I'll go check for available doctors that could help your little friend here."
…
After waiting 43 minutes, the man reentered with a nice-looking lady in a dark magenta suit and a purple skirt. He introduced the woman, "OK, I found a good psychiatrist that might be able to help. Daffy Duck, meet Dr. Isobel C. Spots."
"It's a pleasure to be working with a well-known former cartoon star," Isobel said.
"Excuse me?" Daffy asked. "FORMER cartoon star?! I prefer 'struggling cartoon star!' I've still got what it takes."
Dr. Spots laughed. "I think I'll have a lot to discuss with you."
So she led the three 'toons into her office. It had a desk, a big couch for the patient, a bunch of books on a shelf and a punching bag in one corner. Dr. Spots began, "I can meet with your duck for an hour every Monday and Friday."
"How much will it cost?" Wile E. asked.
The psychiatrist smiled and said, "I can go as low as 20 an hour."
"That will be fine," Wile E. said.
…
A few minutes later, Bugs and Wile E. left, and Daffy was alone with Dr. I.C. Spots. She got out her clipboard and began the session. "Daffy, therapy is nothing to be ashamed about. Many people need therapy once in a while."
"OK." Daffy asked. He then noticed the books on the shelves. "That's a lot of books. Have you read all of them?"
Isobel smiled and said, "I've read most of them. You have to read a lot of books like those in order to be a psychiatrist."
"Ah. Shall I start from the top?" Daffy said.
"Go ahead."
Daffy cleared his throat. "OK, doctor. Picture this. At the beginning of this decade, I was a very popular and well-liked cartoon star. Many of my films were on video, and were still being rerun on TV. They were still making merchandise of me. They sold like hotcakes! I even appeared in a new made-for-video movie, 'Tweety's High-Flying Adventure!' OK, even though it was a musical, I still enjoyed working for it."
"Did you have any anxiety at the time?" Dr. Spots asked.
"Yes," Daffy said, "I was still angry at Bugs Bunny for always hogging the spotlight. Plus, ABC and the WB Network stopped airing my cartoons, but no matter, since Cartoon Network was still showing them."
Isobel said, "Wile E. told me you have sort of a grudge against Pixar Animation Studios…"
Daffy interrupted, "I didn't get to that yet! But I will. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah. Starting in 2002, a very mean man named Sander Schwartz stepped up as president of Warner Bros. Animation, and that's when things began to go downhill. He made us star in 'Baby Looney Tunes,' which was nothing but a 'Muppet Babies' rip-off. What they did was use a 'baby' machine that made copies of us as tykes. That's how they did those other 'kid versions of classic cartoon character' shows back in the 80s and 90s."
"Who was this Sander Schwartz guy?" Isobel asked.
"He was the worst president of Termite Terrace ever to run the studio!" Daffy complained. "Not only did he mess us up, but he also messed up Scooby-Doo and Tom and Jerry, and he also shifted the company to focus more on action cartoons!"
Dr. Spots noted, "You sound angry."
"I am NOT angry!" Daffy insisted. "Just suppressing bad memories I will tell you about later. And if that wasn't enough, also in 2002, Chuck Jones died. Bugs and Wile E. and the rest of the Looney Tunes and I went into a long three-month depression and were filled with grief and sadness due to the passing. But then we got over it. Then the following year, things started to look up a bit again. I starred in a new show, 'Duck Dodgers,' based off my timeless classic short! It was my biggest role in a TV show. It ran for two seasons on Cartoon Network before being canceled due to a reason I will describe later. And if that wasn't enough, a new guy came into the studio named Larry Doyle, whom offered to produce some new Warner Bros. cartoons with Sander Schwartz, starring us Looney Tunes, and we were going to star in a big-budget movie!"
"Would that happen to be 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action?'" Isobel said.
"Yes!" Daffy answered. "Only in pre-production, they called it the Untitled Looney Tunes Project. Doyle wrote what might've been my greatest performance ever! And you know what? I was practically the star! OK, maybe the co-star. And the script would've been perfect, if it weren't for the constant pop-culture references and the cheesy ACME Chairman. Warner Bros. was heavily promoting it, though Cartoon Network did nothing to help promote the film. Instead they began reducing the airtime of my classics. And this was a bad time they chose to release and make the film, what with Pixar and DreamWorks starting to dominate the animation market."
"I hear you mentioning Pixar again." Isobel interrupted.
"Right! And I'll tell you why," Daffy said. "The film was released to the public in November 2003, and things would look up. Unfortunately, the movie was a FLOP! It sank to the bottom of the barrel in box-office performance, faced stiff competition from that Will Ferrell Christmas movie and that one about the hideous Cat in the Hat, and got mixed reviews from the critics. And as if that weren't bad enough, they only made one new short with me in it. A Duck Dodgers short about me cloning myself. It didn't look very professional or well-made. And it made me look bad. Then again, NONE of the shorts that Schwartz and Doyle made at that time made us look good! Then our movie was nominated for an Annie Award, which was designed for animation. We never have gotten an Annie before, and this was to be our first time. The Annie society invited Bugs and I to come to the awards. We got there, and were we nervous! Unfortunately, we LOST! To a stupid computer-animated Pixar talking-animal movie called 'Finding Nemo!' I practically exploded! I tore up my seat. I tried to steal the trophy. I even tried to break the fish tank that the fish were in! The guards took me away, and sent me to prison for a month."
Dr. Spots said, "I am hearing your anger again."
"I'm GLAD you hear my anger!" Daffy snapped. He went over to the punching bad, which looked like a clown. Daffy imagined it looking like Marlin from "Finding Nemo" and punched it a few times as he spoke. "I'm angry because that STUPID Pixar, and their STUPID Marlin and his lesbian friend, and that STUPID film's overrated popularity and STUPID perfect animation, and that STUPID CGI talking animal trend, greatly contributed to my downfall in popularity!" He panted heavily.
Isobel smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere," she said as she wrote something down on her clipboard.
"Whew… I feel good getting that out," Daffy said. "Shall I tell you a bit more?"
"Go right ahead," Isobel said.
"OK, so anyways, here's where the bad stuff began," Daffy continued. "Production on the new Looney Tunes shorts ceased due to poor performance of the Back in Action movie. Then in October 2004, Cartoon Network showed their very last Looney Tunes line-up. The last cartoon they showed ME in was one of my worst performances, in 'Speedy Ghost to Town.' It was one of those cartoons where I was forced to pair up with that stupid rodent, Speedy Gonzales! Just thinking about those cartoons gives me goosebumps! But Bugs had it easy. HIS last cartoon they showed was that 'Bewitched Bunny.'"
"Oh, I can see why," Isobel said. "That ending with him going off with the girl rabbit wanted kids to thing that Bugs Bunny had a happy ending." She giggled.
"Right!" Daffy agreed. "Stupid Cartoon Network. Then they pulled us from their schedule, and replaced us with that stupid 1990s cartoon 'Dexter's Laboratory!'" He socked the punching bag again. My friend Bugs Bunny also got kicked out of his mansion, and the Kids Next Door moved in! He was tossed out in the street! Then they canceled 'Duck Dodgers' as well. As of this time, the Looney Tunes would most likely never be popular again. The public didn't seem to like them anymore, and wanted to prefer computer-animated movies, or anime, or action cartoons! It was awful." He slumped down in his seat and sighed. "I've got lots of information about my current state for you."
"I can see that," Dr. Spots said. "Well, that wraps things up for now. The session's over."
"ALREADY?!" Daffy was surprised. "Time went by so fast!"
"Well, we can talk again on Friday." Isobel smiled. "I think it's going to be great working with you, Mr. Duck."
Daffy blushed. "Aw, shucks!"