Finally Chapter 3!

Title: "Warm"

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!

Note: Sorry for the wait, everyone!

……………………………………………………………………….

Even though I was trying to run towards the meat-vendor that Alice was already bludgeoning for price-cuts before she even reached his counter, I was actually stumbling backwards.

Somebody was tugging on my arm.

His hand felt really familiar…

I whipped around to face him.

But he was running with his back turned to me.

"Gil?!" I called out, trying to keep up with him, staggering along the way.

His legs were longer than mine, he was going too fast.

He didn't seem to hear my voice… I tried to call his name again, but we were suddenly turning a sharp corner.

Everything was darker now.

He still wasn't letting go of me.

"Gil?!" I called his name again as he dragged me down this narrow alleyway.

He stopped suddenly; we were right in the middle of the alley.

He was quiet… I could only hear my breathing, and the bustling crowd dozens of feet behind us.

He didn't turn around, his hand on my wrist squeezed a little tighter.

His palm felt really hot.

I noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves today.

The feeling of his hand reminded me of last night…

I shook my head at myself…

I can't be thinking stuff like that…..

"Gil, what's going on?" I asked a little quietly.

He didn't say anything… I felt his hand tug my arm abruptly.

I stumbled forward, almost losing my footing. He turned towards me at the same moment.

We were facing each other now.

He was really close to me.

Too close.

I backed up; my back hit the bumpy brick wall.

He was staring at the ground.

"Oz…" His voice was quiet.

"What?" I asked, only a little confused.

"What happened last night…" He started up. "I didn't mean for it to get that far… but I did mean what I said..."

I listened… feeling a little fidgety.

He was so close to me, I was feeling a little weird… but it wasn't bad.

"I apologize for doing that to you… I know you probably hate me …."

His voice got even weaker… cracking a little. That voice… I could hear the slight traces of the Gilbert I knew a long time ago.

I couldn't bear hearing his voice like that.

Even though he was already 24, and acted like it most of the time… every time he talked to me like this, he seemed 14 again.

"I-I don't hate you, Gil." I mumbled a little. "I would never…"

His sharp, golden eyes flashed down to mine. It was different, looking up into his eyes now. Especially when they were only inches from mine.

His hand fell against the brick wall, next to my face.

"I'm just… trying to figure out…."I answered vaguely, feeling a little enclosed. "About last night… why that happened between us…" I elaborated absent-mindedly, not even meaning to say it. But it was true.

I haven't stopped wondering why Gilbert would do that… even if he was drunk, he was still capable of talking and acting normally…. For the most part....

So why would he have done that unless there was a part of him that... wanted to...

"Oz…" His voice was even softer. I heard his boot take another step towards me, his body inched closer.

His hand on my wrist loosened, lifting upward, his fingers catching onto the cuff of my sleeve for a second before I felt his hand land on my shoulder.

My arm felt like it was on fire under his touch.

That was definitely new, too.

What is he doing….?

I looked up at him, his eyes were narrowed painfully.

I really couldn't stand it when he gave me that look… like I was doing something that was hurting him.

"Oz…" he only said my name again, but I shivered a little.

No matter how many times I've heard him say it… I never grew tired of it.

I felt his hand slide over to the corner of my neck. His body leaned over me a little more.

His body warmth was getting a little stronger.

His thumb brushed along my neck… it felt familiar and completely new at the same time.

My heart was beating harder than it was when I was running.

Why am I not upset about how close he's getting to me?

Well, I guess I've never really minded how close Gil was to me… I'd always wanted him with me.

But now… he wants to get closer… to me.

Why did the thought of that make me happier?

I could barely make sense of any of my thoughts.

But one thought rang out…

I've always wanted to be with Gilbert forever… Could I be with him like this?...

Is it really okay… to be this close to someone?

"Oz… I always wanted to be with you." Gilbert words answered my question… but I still wasn't sure what he meant, exactly.

His face was so much closer to mine.

His hand grazed the side of my face.

It felt like it belonged there.

He's so close… so warm…

……………………………………………………………………

He's so close… so warm…

Finally….

Finally.

Raven leaned down, his eyes constantly checking the emerald ones that were holding his stare…. Just in case they flickered with any signs of hesitation or repulsion.

Raven had readied himself, for years, to be reacted to with hatred if he ever told Oz about his feelings…. Not because he thought Oz was the sort of person who would hate easily, but because he had always felt like his feelings were a sort of unforgivable trespass between friends, between master and servant.

But this was actually happening.

Oz was here… looking up at him. His emerald eyes were so honest.

His heart thumped loudly as he finally realized exactly what was going on.

He isn't backing away…

He's only looking at me…

I've never been able to look into his eyes this directly…

Raven felt his fingers weave into Oz's hair like they had the night before… but it felt so much more real this time.

Oz tilted his head upward a little…

The space between them closed a bit more.

"Oz!!... Seaweed-Head!!!"

Raven backed away from Oz with incredible speed, forgetting about being in an alleyway, he accidentally bumped against the wall.

His head suddenly hurt with a dull shot of pain.

He rubbed the back of his head for a second.

By the time he looked up to try and find Oz, Oz was already running towards Alice.

Raven followed after him, still feeling awkward and a little put off.

……..

"What were you two doing?" Alice asked, half-interested, walking off into the street ahead of Raven and Oz, chewing on a drumstick happily.

"We just saw an interesting booth" Oz lied badly. Raven could tell from Oz's cheerful tone that it was a lie… but not a lot of people would know that.

And yet Alice accepted it and went on chewing noisily, grumbling contentedly.

Raven exhaled with relief before feeling a new form of anxious tension rise.

What was just about to happen back there?

Did he really just grab Oz and lead him into that dark alleyway?

Wasn't that just a dream, a mid-day fantasy, something that he only wished he had done?

He saw Oz give him a side-ways glance with tense eyes… Raven knew at that moment that that mid-day fantasy had actually happened.

Raven had trouble remembering how to walk for a second, but muscle-memory took over so that he could worry about other things.

Like how was he going to get another moment alone with Oz?

And what was he going to say?

... What was Oz thinking about?...

…………………………………………………………………….

The carriage was rocking back and forth as we went down the rocky road to the mansion.

It was a normal carriage ride, noting out of the ordinary.

But my mind was reeling, trying to make sense of the changing world around me.

What had just happened in that alleyway?

Gil almost… and I was going to… let him…?

I was actually… looking forward to it!?

…And…

… I felt disappointed when Alice interrupted….

I looked down to my laps, my hands curling around the hem of my shorts anxiously.

…but…

…. Gil's a guy.

We're both boys!

… Boys?...

He's older than a 'boy' now… isn't he?

He's a man…

He's a man…

That thought couldn't stick… it didn't make sense to me.

I'm a boy…

He's a man…

But I'm still a year older than him?

The main thought that really drove me crazy wasn't our strange age difference…. It was the fact that we were both male!...

Isn't this wrong?!

It's not supposed to be like this, right?!

But why do I feel like this?

Why am I constantly checking to see if he's looking at me?

Why does my heart suddenly feel like its being squeezed whenever I think about last night?

Why did I wish Alice hadn't had stopped what was going to happen in that alley?!

Isn't this wrong!?

… I stared down at my tight fists seriously, trying to think this through, while trying to find some sort of escape from these thoughts at the same time…

I've always liked girls…

I've always thought they were pretty and nice…

But I've never felt this way over a girl before…

…

Why is all of this happening?!

…

I wanted to groan with confusion and hold my head in my hands.

But I controlled myself, and tried to act normal.

I leaned sluggishly against the back of my seat.

My eyes kept flickering towards the darkly dressed man sitting next to me.

On the way to town, Gil had hunched in his corner of the cabin, getting as far away from me as he could.

But now he was just staring out the window, slightly slouched forward…. Just as always.

He wouldn't seem stressed to anyone else, but I could tell…. Gil always got unnaturally stiff when he was upset. He wouldn't move unless he had to.

I wondered if he was thinking the same things I was…

That maybe, he was having second thoughts about this… situation…

….That would be good, right?...

My heart disagreed with that thought…

……………………………………………………..

"Tomorrow night, we'll be heading to the theatre!" Break re-announced, happily sipping his over-sugarfied tea. "So everybody get to bed early… you'll need your energy for tomorrow!" Break smiled with a calm silliness.

Raven had heard that so many times over the past several years around Break.

Looks like this 'old friend' of Break's was going to put up quite a fight… and this was Break's tip-off.

"Eh?!!" Alice shouted defiantly.

"I'm afraid it's off to bed for you, Alice-kun." Break said cheerfully from behind his little fan. "Unless you wanted to show us how pretty your new dress looks on you." Anybody could hear the playful malice in his voice.

"That's if she still fits in it after eating so much!" Little Emily shrieked from his shoulder with a rickety laugh.

"Now, now…" Break calmed the cackling Emily, snickering to himself, too.

Alice turned on her heel with a dismissive snort, and walked down the main hallway, clutching her grease-spotted bag of meat-treats.

Sharon gave a silent scold towards Break… he shrugged his shoulders haughtily.

Raven couldn't enjoy the simple attitude at the table.

He left his seat, picking himself off of the chair exhaustedly, leaving his barely-sipped teacup on the table.

Raven didn't say anything as he walked away… only sighed.

Today had been a long day...

He glanced back to the table. His eyes found the emerald ones he had last shared eye-contact with in that alley.

Raven quickly looked away; trying to remain composed, and not show the inward grimace of regret on his face.

He didn't regret his feelings... mostly... but he definitely regretted that stupid decision of his to literally drag Oz into this kind of situation....

He had hoped that he could've controlled himself and his feelings for the rest of their friendship, to protect Oz from ever having to deal with any of this.

This was just another thing he had managed to fail...

Raven tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and walked off into the hallway, towards his room.

Maybe if I don't talk to him for a little bit...

... then we can go back to normal...

Raven cringed at the thought... but if it meant Oz wouldn't have to go through this...............

.................................................................................................................................................

Gilbert disappeared into the hallway.

I immediately felt a sense of disappointment take over.

I had thought that once Gilbert left the room... I would be able to think straight... That I wouldn't be glancing back to him every few seconds, I wouldn't be constantly wondering what he was thinking, or if he was going to talk to me later....

But in that moment when he looked at me for only that spare second...

I could tell... he wasn't going to ever say anything…

…

Was I wrong?

Was I wrong this entire time?!

Maybe he was just… testing it out...

Maybe he didn't feel the same way I did!

…

What do I feel, agian?

...

My thoughts scrambled with that thought.... and the answer that popped into my mind only a second later.

"Um, good night..." I said hurriedly, leaving the table in a rush.

I power-walked around the long dining table, all-too-aware of Break's and Sharon's curious stare on me.

I was acting a little strange... but I had to do something.

If I left this the way it was... and he didn't talk to me... things would only get awkward... he'd avoid me... our friendship would suffer...

...

... We wouldn't be able to go back to the way things were... ever...

...

No... I'm not doing this so that we can go back to normal....

...

Ever since last night... it was never an alternative to just forget the way we felt when we were around each other.

...

I walked down the dimly-lit hallway, looking for him, feeling a little desperate.

I saw him, a dark figure standing in front of his bedroom door, about to open it.

I wanted to run to him, to catch him before he left the hallway...

But what was I going to say?!

I faltered in my steps… I looked down to my feet, wide-eyed.

What am I going to say?!

What could I say?!!

I looked back up to him, he was already walking into his room.

"Gil!" I called out his name, needing to get his attention… completely unsure of what to say next.

I left my feet carry me toward him... trying to think of something to say...

My stride grew a little weaker when I saw him look back out of his doorway, his eyes staring at me questioningly.

"Oz?" He called back… I stopped in front of his doorway, feeling more nervous than I could ever remember feeling around Gilbert.

After a second of silence, I realized that I had to say something…

I've only been able to think about one thing since this afternoon…

"Um… I… wanted to talk about…." My words were a little weaker. I never used to be this anxious while talking to Gilbert.

I took a long pause... feeling weird...

"I'm sorry, Oz…" He suddenly spoke up with a cold voice before I could even finish my struggling sentence.

I looked back to him suddenly, catching a glimpse of his pained face as he turned away from me.

I couldn't take this feeling anymore.

"No…" I felt my hand close only halfway around his arm.

I hadn't planned on this, but I definitely wasn't going to let him brush this all off like it didn't matter to him. Like he wasn't thinking about what was going on between us as nervously as I was, all day!

I couldn't let him take back what he said… what he did… what he made me feel....

"What's wrong?" His voice sounded a little surprised.

I finally realized that I probably had a strange expression on my face… something desperate… maybe a little upset.

I almost tried to calm myself… but I wanted to use this energy to say what I needed to.

"Why did you pull me into that alley? What were you going to do?" I asked bluntly, tightening my open grip on his sleeved arm. I tried not to think about how embarrassing those words were, about what I was really asking him.

He looked down at me, his expression of worry changing into one of silent shock. His golden eyes opened wide…

"I… don't know…." He breathed those words out difficultly, coldly. He seemed to feel just as nervous as I had a few seconds ago.

I suddenly felt him tug his arm away from me. I couldn't keep my grip on him.

He was starting to turn around again.

My frustration grew…

I couldn't let him ignore what we're talking about right now!...

"Gil!"

I reached up, both my hands curled around the fabric of his jacket.

I pulled him back over to me with some effort…

He staggered back around, crouching down a little, following the downward direction of his jacket.

I knew I probably looked angry… but he didn't even look fazed.

After only a second of surprise, he was staring at me, eye-to-eye… his eyes half-closed, staring at me in a way I didn't really recognize.

I felt my frustration waver for a second.

I shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to be effected by those eyes.

"Don't act like you don't care!..." I said a little loudly, feeling unnatural for raising my voice at Gilbert.

An ungloved hand grazed along the side of my face.

Even though I'd only felt that a few times in the past day… I could never forget the way that hand felt against my skin.

"Oz…" His voice wasn't cold anymore… it was warm… "It's not that I don't care…" I opened my eyes slowly, trying to prepare myself to see his face as close to mine as I felt it was.

Nothing could have prepared me. I still felt that pang in my heart when I saw his eyes staring at me like that.

"I care too much…" His voice was so warm. "More than I should…" His burning hand found my shoulder, the heat spreading along my torso, finding my heart, which was already beating too fast.

His face inched closer, I could hear the rustling of his jacket as I felt him breathe against the side of my face.

I felt his lips land just below my temple.

I flinched at the feeling.

It was still really new to me.

His lips.

My hands suddenly felt hot, I held them against my sides.

He was so close.

He was really this close.

Is he really…

"Are you really being serious?..." I asked quietly… struggling to keep my voice steady when my lips were almost touching his ear.

I felt him nod.

That was a bit more like Gilbert… losing his words at a time like this.

I couldn't really believe what was going on.

How did this even happen?

Weren't we just friends a day ago?

How did all of this happen so quickly?!

Were we always on this thin edge between friendship and...?

I tried to lift my hands to him, to feel him... I wanted to for some reason... but the issue that had been flooding my mind for so long suddenly resurfaced, more important to me than ever, and weakened my efforts to move.

"Doesn't it bother you?..." I spoke up quietly, failing to keep my voice from sounding a little strange. "…That... we're both…" I couldn't even finish the sentence…. I hoped he wouldn't have to make me say it.

I knew he had to have thought how strange it is for us... two boys... one boy, one man... to be like this.

He pulled away from me, his eyes found mine.

I wanted to close my eyes again… but I forced myself not to….

It was never this hard to look Gilbert in the eyes before… but now, he seemed to have some sort of power that made me want to look away… he was so… intense...

His hand on my face slid back into my hair a little.

My nerves were numbed a little by that sensation...

I wanted more…

...

I couldn't think about how strange that desire was before his voice found my ears.

"You're Oz…. my friend, my master, my reason… that's all I need…"

His voice was so warm.

His lips were warmer against mine.

I couldn't hear anything over the beating of my heart.

I couldn't see anything other than his golden eyes.

I could feel anything but his warmth.

…………………………………………………

Next Chapter: "Cold"