PART 2

(Present)

Suzie was quiet as she sat in the colonel's office. She waited for him to finish on the phone with Winchester who appeared to be complaining about something. She wasn't paying attention. She simply stared at her hands waiting.

"Right, now Suzie, there was something you wanted?" she made no reply, "Suzie?"

She looked up, startled. "I uh- yes sorry," she smiled meekly, "I'm somewhere else, sir."

"Considering your night last night, lutenant."

Suzie hung her head in her hands, groaning. "Please I don't need reminding. They were only defending my honour."

Potter chuckled. "The soldier boys weren't actually hurt, their egos were bruised, but that's about it."

She smiled again, but it was still sad. "Listen… I… I need a favour."

"Yes?"

Radar came over the intercom. "Incoming wounded! Incoming wounded! So much for a break."

Suzie and the colonel were on their feet and out of the door in moments.

"The favour can wait," she told him.

"I guessed- get moving."

"Yes sir!"

(night)

Hawkeye and BJ were on the floor next to the bar, glaring up at Suzie who had just pulled them away from the soldiers. There had only been a few blows exchanged, but she was still annoyed.

"Wha's'at for?" she demanded, frowning to keep them in focus.

"For… lifting moral!" protested BJ.

"Literally," grinned Hawkeye, who had attempted to throw one- only managing to push him.

"Don't care- I said I'd deal wi' them- fighting isn't necessary- it shouldn' b an option?"

"She don't appreciate us," Hawkeye was practically pouting.

"They never do."

"Maybe not you- but they usually appreciate me- I know what I'm doing."

Suzie looked between them, the two grinning idiots, then put out her hands. "C'mon, we drink till we remember nothing… yes?"

"YES!" the men agreed, taking her hands. She lost balance and ended up sitting between them, laughing hysterically.

"I think- I think we carry this on back at the swamp- forget the soldier boys," BJ was pulling himself up to his feet and helping Suzie to stay stable as Hawkeye tried to keep himself steady. Failing miserably at it too.

"YES!"

(present)

Ten patients all together, none with fatal injuries. Most could be saved. It was a case of finding the shrapnel and extracting it without damaging the body more than it had to be.

Suzie found herself working with BJ on a young man similar to her friend Jamie. She was running on automatic, doing everything BJ asked her to do, but doing nothing to join in the banter in the OCR. She couldn't even hear it.

"Zip him up!"

Suzie was staring at the wound. It was clean, red and pink, no ghastly grey or blue in the flesh at all. How it should look. But that was how Jamie had looked… they had still missed a spot.

"Suzie!"

She snapped out of her day dream. "Yes doctor." She took the needle and thread and proceeded to put the flesh back together again.

Finally they were finished. Outside, the afternoon was hot and unforgiving. Suzie and Margaret stood outside having removed their scrubs and were back in their uniform. Margaret looked at her friend.

"You all right?" the blonde woman asked.

"Yah! I'm fine. I'm great…"

"You're not smoking."

"So?"

"It's a good sign." Suzie looked at her. "I take it the boys managed to teach you how to have fun again. I warned them not to mess you up too much last night."

Suzie laughed. "I'll be honest- I can't remember much of last night. I just know I woke up with…" she paused, it wouldn't be a good idea to reveal that part… "with a throbbing head ache, feeling fairly light." Her face fell. "So now I feel guilty."

Margaret put her arm around the woman. The two were about the same age, all the other nurses were younger than she was, so she was grateful to have gained a nurse that was with her for the long haul. And someone she got on with very well.

"I gotta talk to the colonel," she said suddenly, "I'll help you do rounds soon I promise."

"All right." Suzie began walking away. A thought struck Margaret. "Hey Sue-" she turned around, "we got all of it this time… I promise… no unnecessary deaths."

There was a smile again. This time is was tiny, miserable. "I can't tell that to Lettie…" She left, faster this time.

Margaret wasn't worried in the slightest. It was a process. She wasn't angry any more. She had already drowned her sorrow and now she was facing it. From what Margaret had learned of Suzie Chong, it was the way she functioned.

As for Suzie herself she walked towards the main building quickly, ignoring everyone she walked passed, almost to the point of walking into them. Which is what she did to Hawkeye.

She looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. "You did that on purpose."

"Because you're completely out of it- what was that you pulled in surgery-"

"Not now, Pierce- please? I gotta talk to the colonel."

"Right now?"

"Yes- I'm coming back to do rounds, you can lecture me then, I promise. But right now I… I… I'll be back." She side stepped him and walked away very quickly.

(night time)

"RED QUEEN! YOUR TURN BJ!"

"He passed out," Hawkeye was laughing.

Sure enough passed out on the floor next to them was the solid form of BJ in his underwear. Suzie frowned.

"We should put him in bed," she murmured.

"You wanna pick him up?"

"Me?! You're stronger."

"I'm drunker."

"You're not!"

"I am. You keep cheating so I keep loosing."

"Pfft- light weight!"

Hawkeye glared at her. "We keep playing- we'll see whose really a light weight then."

Suzie glared back then nodded. The two continued throwing down cards, getting the rules confused, drinking more and more as the night went on.

"You know," Hawkeye was leaning against BJ's prone form by this point, "I dunno why you're so torn up about this kid- you see guys like that go in and out of MASH, some make it, some… don't."

"He was like my cousin, I knew him when he was like," she tried indicating a small height, "yeah! And… and I saw him die- That's not good, Pierce, that's bad."

"Bad… yeah but this whole fucking war is bad… and don't call me Pierce."

"Yeah yeah birdie-face- two shots."

"What?"

"You need to take two gulps of your shit industrial strength alcohol- we'll talk after that- light weight."

(present)

Sherman Potter was waiting for her in his office when she turned up. She couldn't help but flush red when she saw this.

"This favour?"

"Could… could you get Radar to try and get into contact with my uncle?"

The colonel frowned. "Why?"

"I need to tell him his son-in-law is dead."

"They weren't married."

"They should have been," her face darkened. Sherman nodded. There was no changing this woman's mind. She was going to tell her uncle what happened and there was nothing he could do about it.

It didn't take Radar very long to get hold of Benjamin Logan, Suzie's mother's brother. Sherman walked out of the office as the conversation started and sat in with Radar, warning him not to listen into the conversation.

It appeared that Suzie had kept her temper throughout the conversation. There was no shouting or screaming, otherwise they may have heard something. But there was nothing. From her facial expressions she was keeping blank. Occasionally she nodded as she spoke, but more often than not if she had an expression it was that of anger.

A short time passed. Ten minutes at the most. She hung up, sat back in Sherman's chair and closed her eyes, fingers to her eyes. She looked as though she wanted to cry.

Sherman paused, and shook his head. "Poor girl," he murmured.

"Sir, I don't think we should bother her," Radar said earnestly. As Sherman looked at the clerk, he could see the young man felt bad just watching the woman almost burst into theirs. He had a while to go before he learned when to leave a woman and when to intervene.

The older man put a hand on his back. "Leave it to me."

He walked into the room, quietly. He approached the chair and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at looked at him, then smiled and stood up. "Sorry sir, it shouldn't have taken so long."

"That's fine Suzie."

"I need to get back to post-op and-"

"Do what you have to do," he told her, "you don't need to explain anything to me."

She paused then without really thinking out her arms around her bosses neck, hugged him briefly and walked out. Sherman wasn't surprised. The woman was an emotional creature just then.

(nearing midnight)

"This was a good idea," said Hawkeye, smirking.

"Only coz you're winning!" complained Suzie, she was sitting in her uniform pants and bra holding, probably, another loosing hand as they played strip poker, then she grinned, "but I'm cooler." She wriggled her toes. "I hate boots."

Hawkeye glared at her blearily, shirtless, vest less and single bootless, he was winning, but he still felt steamed up. Suzie looked much more comfortable that he did. She was grinning at him quite comfortably. It might have been the drink, or she was completely desenisthised, but she didn't seem to care that she was so exposed. Not that he minded in the slightest.

By this point neither of them were really in control of what they said or did. Everything and anything seemed like a good idea or a really good idea. BJ had been left on the floor as the two of them had taken over a bed to play more comfortably.

"I fold!" he announced suddenly.

"What?" Suzie was startled, "you can't do that!"

"But I don't wanna wear my boots."

"Then take it off- play proper."

"Fiiiiine…" he pulled off his boot and socks, the picked up his cars again.

He looked at Suzie, she was somewhat out of focus, but she was still there. There was something cute about the confusion in her face as she looked at her cards. Normally she was so guarded, but just then she looked so vulnerable, so cute. It was strange, Hawkeye liked her angry, assertive.

"Call!" she shouted

They showed their cards. Hawkeye lost.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

BJ groaned and rolled over as Suzie shushed her friend.

"I just took off three items."

"You wanted to."

"But I said fold!"

Suzie growled. "Fine. Fuckin' baby- next time it two items."

By this point the two of them were inches apart.

"Sure you don't want it to be more?" he grinned at her.

(present)

Evening was nearing by this point. Suzie was outside the mess tent again, smoking again. She was shivering despite the heat, her eyes lost skyward. No body dare talk to her, even Margaret let her be. There was simply a time and a place.

Throughout rounds, Suzie had been very focused, checking charts, temperatures, stitches and so on. She spoke to the soldiers very little. One of them hit the nail on the head with her.

"I'm sorry for your loss ma'am," he said to her as she checked his stomach wound.

She looked at him stunned. "What are you talking about?"

"You have that look miss, we all know it. So… I'm sorry. But you know- he's in a better place now, God and Jesus will look after him."

Suzie smiled at him. Anyone who knew her well would have spotted the fake smile immediately, this boy didn't. "I'm sure they will."

He was the last one, she walked out quickly after that, Margaret had met her outside.

"It's nice to see," Suzie said, "these boys still keep their faith even if their God is putting them through hell."

"It's all they have," Margaret tried to comfort her friend, to no avail.

"I wish they had more."

So there she was again. Eyes skyward, this time more accusatory than anything else. She was on her feet, one arm across her waist as she hid the lit end of her cigarette with her hand. It was the first smoke of that day, and she promised herself it would be the last for her entire life. She always told herself that… at least it meant she was no longer a regular smoker… at least it meant it was now something she associated with something bad.

"I get the feeling," Hawkeye was approaching her again, as he had done the night before… this time he was alone, "that you've been avoiding me all day."

She looked at him, then looked skyward again. "Who do you blame?"

"What?"

"For this messy pathetic excuse for a war- who do you blame?"

"The government. Who else? This wasn't our war to begin with… you?"

"People… greed… power… God…"

"Don't let the father hear you say that!"

"God forbid," she replied dryly. She was lost again. This time he didn't want to drop it, he walked closer. Then she spoke again. "What do you remember of last night?"

He hesitated. "Not very much, it's kind of a blur."

"I thought as much," she turned to look at him, they were inches apart.

(nearing midnight)

"I like your lips," he said dryly.

"They're just lips." She couldn't help the smile that came to her just then.

"I didn't say they were anything else- I just said I liked them."

"I didn't notice… You're very close."

"I know."

"You're getting closer."

"Are you asking me to move away?"

"Never said that."

(present)

"You're being too emotional, Sue."

"I've just told my cousin her fiancée has died in action when under my care. I blasted my uncle for telling Jamie the only way to prove himself was to go into a war zone. I watched him die. I'm allowed to be emotional."

Hawkeye didn't know what to say, but he didn't move. Where they stood, behind the tent, in the dark where the only light was from the cigarette in her hand, no one could see them.

"People might start accusing you of being a woman."

"Perhaps. Might not be such a bad thing."

"They might loose respect for the MASH ice queen."

"Would you?"

"No- look that's besides the point-"

"So why would the others?" She shook her head, she seemed to loose balance and fell foreword, leaning her forehead on his collar bone. He didn't know what to do.

"Suzie… you're… very close…"

"I know. Want me to move?"

"I never said that," he put his arms around her body. She was shaking.

(midnight)

"So if I came this close," he pushed his face closer to hers she was leaning back by this point, leaning against her palms, "you won't care."

"Not really."

"How about…" he kissed her neck, "this close?"

She shivered and smiled. "Nah."

He grabbed her hands, the two lost all balance and fell flat onto the cot, it shook for a moment, Hawkeye on top of Suzie. BJ growled, they looked at him. He rolled over. Nothing else. They looked at each other and grinned. Their noses were touching by this point.

"This close."

"Don't care."

"Ah… so if I do this?" he kissed her mouth gently, her arms automatically wrapped around his neck pulling him closer. He broke this kiss, breathing heavily, his own arms wrapped around her slim body, pulling her closer still.

"I'd say don't stop," she replied, smirking from beneath hooded eyes, her arms round his neck pulling him back to her.

(present)

She looked up at him, their noses were practically touching by this point. Hawkeye found himself with his large palm against her cheek, pushing her hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry," she murmured and made to move away, he pulled her back, "what?"

"I- I just think you shouldn't go just yet, not the state your in."

"You… don't care me being this close to you?"

"Hey- I'm a surgeon, pretty nurse this close to me- I love it."

Behind them there was a crash, they spun round, Hawkeye found himself hold onto her hand. The two of them saw no one, they found out later it was Radar's goat knocking over some metal.

The two of them looked at each other laughing.

Suzie shook her head, then, without warning, wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head beneath his chin. Hawkeye held her close to him, her whole body was shaking now. He didn't understand why.

"Thank you Hawkeye, you make a great friend."

"Hey, what are friends for?!" he said, trying to keep his tone upbeat.

He may have said he had few memories of the night before, but he remembered far more than he had let on, her soft skin, the smokey smell of her hair, the sound of his name in her voice, he still remembered it. Yet he found himself saying the stupidest things. He was so used to getting his way… he was usually the one who couldn't remember the night as clearly as the other party. This was strange for him.

The entire situation was alien. Still… woman in his arms, needing him in more ways than she was probably willing to admit… not a bad situation to be in.

She looked at him again, leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek. He almost lost all hope until he realised, or hoped, she lingered for a moment near his lips.

"C'mon," she said, "we'd better find the others before they assume things."

"Ah let them assume! It'll give 'em something decent to talk about. Drinks again tonight?"

"Yeah… you know what, I think I need it. Though I kinda hope I'll actually be able to remember something by the end of the night. Think it'll end the same way?"

"We'll see, Suzie, we'll see," he said knowingly, putting an arm around her leading her back to the mess tent.

The smirk that Suzie couldn't see in the gloom said, 'I sure as hell hope it does.'