1.5 Back in Darwin...
"You can't come with me Juliet. I don't want you to come with me." Kate's voice pulled you back into the moment.
How that hurt. Even thought you knew why she was saying it, that rejection cut straight through you.
"Your sister, your nephew, your life. You can't walk away from that." She continued.
"Rachel's life went on without me. My life is with you now, Kate." You told her.
"I can't ask you to do it." She repeated.
"Then come back with me, Kate." Truly you couldn't help but agree with Jack. Running was senseless, no kind of life. Living like that, always hiding, always pretending, you started to lose parts of yourself, to forget who you were. And the court would understand, surely, they would take into account all those years of abuse. "You can't run forever Kate, it takes its toll. It's time to face up to it, to tell the truth. I know it's frightening, but I'll be by your side every step of the way."
In that moment you saw that thing that snapped in her eyes. Thing that always snapped when you were being so sincere, so caring, so honest, with her. When you were trying so hard to reassure her. In her eyes you saw anger. That unfounded, unjustified anger she let lose towards you when she was afraid. And it made you angry in return. You just offered to give up your whole life for her, here you stood trying so hard to help her, and all you got for your trouble was her lashing out at you. As if you caused this whole situation.
"Don't you think I know that I can't run? I have to live with the things I did, every single day of my life, Juliet. I can't change it. And going back there, letting them lock me up, won't change anything either. You want me to throw my life away just so I can hold your hand on the way back home because you're scared to face your sister? "
It took every single ounce of restraint there and then not to tell her 'Fine. Have it your way. Just fuck off then, Kate, throw your life away, see if I care.' But you held your tongue.
The conversation should have stopped there and then, but she was on a roll, and continued "There is a phone right there, Juliet. Jack didn't wait two minutes to call his family. You're not planning on calling her at all are you? And you're using me as your convenient excuse, blaming me for everything when the truth is you're just too damn scared to pick up the phone and call her. The truth is you want to disappear as much as I do."
As much as you hated to admit it, there was some shred of truth to those words deep down. And instead of walking away as you were so tempted to do, you answered her.
"Yes, I want to disappear. And yes I'm terrified. But running away isn't the answer. It doesn't solve anything. You can't run forever Kate. "
"It's my life." She told you, and her words stung. "And they think I died in a plane crash, who is going to find me?" She adds. "And you didn't answer me, why haven't you called your sister yet? "
"It's our life, Kate. Our second chance. " You told her. It took courage to proclaim that to her given the way she was speaking to you. But you meant it. You needed her to hear it. "And yes I think we need to go home. Not because I want it for me, because you just told me, it would easy for me to stay here too. But because it's the right thing to do Kate, the only way we can have some sort of life. But if you really won't do it, I can't force you. But I'm not going without you. And there is nothing you can do about that."
Something in her eyes softened at your last words. And you reminded yourself that she wasn't thinking clearly. That she was afraid. That she didn't really mean half the things she said. And you needed to be the one to keep your head. Just until this all settled down. That no matter what angry things she threw in your face, she was only testing you. Because she couldn't let herself trust you completely. And yes it hurt you, but you understood it. And you always managed to get through to her in the end. You believed you'd get through to her, convince her to come home with you eventually, convince her to turn herself in, so that your life together could finally begin.
You pulled her close embracing her "It will be alright Kate, you'll see. As long as we stick together, everything will be alright. Just promise me you'll never leave me."
But she didn't promise. She only asked you again about Rachel "You never answered me, about your sister."
"It's been a long time. I don't want to scare her."
"Why would it scare her?"
"I'm not the same person anymore. Her life has gone on without me."
"You're still her sister. I can't come between that. It was the thing that kept you alive all those years."
"I think we both know that you're not the reason I haven't called Rachel. " You admit finally.
"I can't be the reason that you don't go home safely to your sister. We'll go back, to the US."
You couldn't help the smile across your face, even though her own face was stricken with fear and doubt. "I promise you I will be by your side every step of the way."
Your words did little to sooth her, and so you leaned forward to kiss her. Jack interrupted the moment reappearing from the shower, jealousy written all over his face. Kate laughed, as he stood there awkwardly the way he always did when he caught the two of you together. It was the first time you'd seen Kate laugh in so long. And she looked so damn beautiful. And as she disappeared into the shower, you really started to believe that finally, maybe, everything would be alright.
"Just cut her loose Juliet." Jack told you after Kate left the room.
"Excuse me?" You had just about enough of him. So many things to work out and he wasn't helping anything. You were beginning to wish you'd left him to die with the others on that freaking island.
"I don't know what happened between you two on that island, it's a strange place ok. For your own good I tell you this, this is the real world Juliet. Go back to your life. Cut her loose, she is nothing but trouble. You don't need that shit in your life."
"You don't cut people you care about out of your life Jack, not if you really care." You reprimanded him.
"I care." He protested. "I care a lot about you. I even care about Kate. But I know her. Better than you do. She is self destructive. And everyone close to her gets dragged right down with her. I don't want that to happen to you."
"Thanks for your concern." You answered him. "But my life is none of your business."
"Turn her in Juliet." He told you. And the words made your blood run cold. You thought of all the people Kate had trusted, all of them so quick to turn her over to the authorities, and Jack now counted among them. You wanted her to turn herself in sure, believed it was the only way she'd ever find peace. But you could never be the one to do it. It would shatter her.
"What's it to you Jack? You said yourself you're going back to your life tomorrow. What does any of this matter to you?"
"They are all dead, because of her. And you'll be next. " He warned you. "I cant stand by and let you destroy your life without protest."
"Not true." You answered quickly. "They are all dead because of me."
"Why haven't you told her Juliet? The truth about what happened to the others on the island?"