Chapter 7: Jet

Meanwhile back in the village, the townsfolk had gathered at the local tavern for what should have been Jet's post-wedding party. While everyone else was drinking and mingling happily with each, Jet sat in his chair brooding by the fireplace, still steamed about his cancelled wedding plans.

"Who does that Katara think she is?" Jet said out loud to himself. "Turning me down...that girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says 'no' to Jet!"

"Darn right!" Meng said as she walked up to him with two glasses of rum in hand. "Any girl who refuses you isn't right in the head."

"Just think...Me, Jet! Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated!" Jet rambled to himself as he grabbed both glasses out of Meng's hand "Why it's more then I can bear!" he then angrily threw both drinks into the fireplace.

"Uh, more rum?" Meng asked.

"What for? Nothing helps." Jet said turning his chair around and bowing his head shamefully. "I'm disgraced..."

"Who you? Never!" Meng exclaimed as she stood before him, holding up his head so they were eye to eye. "C'mon Jet. You've got to pull yourself together!"

Gosh it disturbs me to see you dear Jet
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be like you Jet
Even when taking your lumps

Shoving her away, Jet turned his chair around and continued wallow in self pity. He was caught off guard when Meng jumped over the chair and onto his lap, affectionately putting an arm around his shoulder.

There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy!
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

Dragging him out of his chair and towards the crowd, all the guys cheered and lifted their mugs toward him in a salute. Jun, Jin and Song meanwhile threw themselves at his feet sighing in admiration.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" Meng said grinning up at Jet who seemed to have gained some of his ego back.

No one's slick as you Jet
No one's quick as you Jet
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as yours Jet
For there's no man in town half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Duke, Smears or Pipsqueak
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

"No one's been like you Jet!" Duke called out.

"A king pin like you Jet!" Sneers shouted.

"No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like you Jet!" Meng said stroking his chin with admiration.

"As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" Jet said grinning smugly.

"My, what a guy, our pal Jet!" the crowd cheered banging their glasses together. "Give five 'hurrahs!' Give twelve 'hip-hips!'"

"Cause Jet is the best and the rest is all drips!" Meng said lifting her glass high in the air. Unfortunately she lifted it up too fast causing her drink to go flying in Jet's face. Realizing what she done, Meng smiled sheepishly at Jet who was dripping wet and irritatingly rolling up his sleeves. Not wanting to get her butt kicked, she dove under a table as Jet jumped on top of it and began wrestling all the guys sitting there.

"No one fights like that Jet" Duke said jumping out of the way.

"Douses lights like that Jet" Smears said woozily as Jet nailed him upside the head.

"In a wrestling match nobody bites like that Jet!" Pipsqueak cried as Jet bit into his leg.

"For there's no one as burly and brawny" the girls fawned as Jet jumped out of the fray and lifted the bench over his head with them on it.

"As you see I've got biceps to spare" Jet said showing off his muscles.

"Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny" Meng said coming out from under the table.

"That's right!" Jet said dropping the girls and bench on top of Meng. "And every last inch of me's covered with hair" Jet then opened his shirt revealing his manly chest to all the swooning girls.

"No one hits like that Jet" Jun exclaimed.

"Matches wits like that Jet" Jin and Song sighed together.

"In a spitting match nobody spits like that Jet" Meng said prying herself from under the bench.

"I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!" Jet then spit at the mirror which ricocheted off its surface and into a spittoon.

"Ten points for our Jet!" the crowd called out. Jet then went to the bar and grabbed a jar of pickled eggs, taking one out and eating it.

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Eating the other eggs in the jar, Jet jumped onto the bar table and began flexing for the crowd. "Oooooh...ahhh.....wow!" All the men looked on with admiration while the women swooned and squealed at the site of his muscular physique. "My, what a guy, our pal Jet!" Jumping back onto the ground, Jet started strutting around the room while a swarm of girls followed behind, each eager to get close enough to touch his muscles.

"Girls, girls please!" Jet said putting his arms up. "There's plenty for all!" As each girl touched his arms, they would start hyperventilating and instantly faint onto the floor fanning themselves. Grabbing an empty glass, Jet slide it toward a large barrel, grabbed his bow, and shot three arrows into the middle of it. Rum instantly poured out the holes and into his glass as well the glasses of nearby people.

"No one shoots like that Jet" Smellerbee cheered grabbing a glass.

"Makes those beauts like that Jet" Longshot said pointing to the holes.

"Then goes tromping around wearing boots like that Jet" Meng said gesturing to Jet's boots as he back walked toward his chair.

"I use antlers in all of my decorating!" Jet said gesturing to his wall of animal heads.

"My, what a guy, that Jet!" the crowd cheered as they lifted him onto their shoulders and carried him around the room in celebration.

As they lowered Jet back into his chair, a huge burst of cold wind blew in followed by a desperate and snow covered Hakoda.

"Help! Someone help me!" Hakoda cried out.

"Hakoda?" the bar tender asked. "What happened to you?"

"Please I need your help!" Hakoda pleaded to the crowd. "He's got her! He's got her locked in away in a dungeon!"

"Who?" asked Smears.

"Katara!" Hakoda exclaimed grabbing his shirt "We must go before it's too late!"

"Whoa slow down Hakoda." Jet said getting out of his seat "Who's got Katara locked in a dungeon?"

"A demon! A horrible monstrous demon called the Blue Spirit! He's holding Katara captive in his castle and we need to get her out!"

As Hakoda looked pleadingly at the people, a brief silence passed followed by a loud burst of laughter. People fell out of their seats, cackling as they rolled on the floor.

"I'm being serious! We need to go save her!" Hakoda said gesturing for the door.

"Come off it Hakoda! A demon?" Jet asked skeptically.

"Yeah, whose leg are you trying to pull?" Meng scoffed.

"No one's!" Hakoda said. "He's real I tell you. I saw the Spirit with my own eyes!"

"Really now? Is it a big demon?" Duke asked standing on the table.

"Huge!"

"With a hideously evil face?" Pipsqueak asked smushing his face together.

"Very hideous and evil!"

"And sharp curved fangs?" Meng added showing off her teeth.

"Yes, yes! Will you help me?" Hakoda asked Jet who could hardly contain his amusement.

"Oh sure Hakoda." Jet said gesturing to Smellerbee and Longshot who were standing behind him. "We'll 'help' you out."

"You will? Oh thank you, thank you!" Hakoda said to Jet. Just then he felt two sets of hands grab him and pull him forcefully towards the tavern door. Opening it, they threw Hakoda head first into a bank of snow and slammed the door shut behind them.

"Crazy old Hakoda does it again." Smellerbee chuckled as they walked back to their table. "That guy's always good for a laugh." Longshot smiled and nodded in agreement.

Overhearing them, Jet felt an idea brew in his head and sat down to think. "Crazy old Hakoda eh...crazy old Hakoda..."

"Hey Jet what's going on?" Meng asked setting down a glass of beer. "You look like you have a headache or something."

"You know Meng, I'm afraid I've been thinking."

Meng gasped "A dangerous pastime?"

"Yeah I know." Jet said pulling Meng closer.

But that wacky old coot is Katara's father
And his sanity's only so-so.
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony old man.
See I promised myself I'd be married to Katara
And right now I'm evolving a plan!

"Now If I-" Jet then whispered into her ear.

"Yes?" Meng asked curiously.

"Then we-" Jet whispered lower so the others wouldn't hear.

"No!" Meng exclaimed. "Would she?"

Jet then pulled her aside and finished whispering his plan. "Now guess."

Meng thought for a moment before getting it and smiled widely "Oh now I get it! That plan is perfect Jet!"

"My thoughts exactly. Now let's go!" Jet grinned as he held out his hand to Meng. Blushing, she grabbed his hand and together they stood up and began waltzing around the room.

No one plots like that Jet
Takes cheap shots like that Jet
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like that Jet

"Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful" Jet nodded smugly.

"As down to the depths you descend" Meng added.

"I won't even be mildly remorseful" Jet said spinning Meng around.

"Just as long as you get what you want in the end" Meng smirked as Jet dipped her down.

Who has brains like that Jet?
Entertains like that Jet?
Who can make up these endless refrains like that Jet?

Looping their arms together, they started dancing around in circles and in between tables. Everyone who watched them immediatly grabbed a partner and started following them around the room till the entire floor was filled with dancers.

And his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My, what a guy...That Jet!

As the people in the tavern continued to dance and have fun, Hakoda stood outside in the cold clutching his cape tightly around him. He tried asking people in the streets to help save Katara but they were too determined to get out of the cold and just kept on walking. Fearing his rescue mission was a bust, Hakoda sat dejectedly onto the fountain steps as the snow continued to fall on him. "Will no one help me?" He wondered sadly gazing up at the clouds as the wind whipped fiercely around him.

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Just for the record, Meng and Duke weren't drinking. I don't condone drunk children (or drunk people in general) in my fanfics.

Next up is the first battle between Katara and Zuko...a battle of wills! Who will emerge victorious? and who will get their tush handed to them in a totally humilating way? :P stay tuned and you'll find out!