A/N: Chapter 3 of Building On Failure

Enjoy,

Beth

xo

Chapter Three: Life's a Media Circus, guess who's the clown

Miley told him the truth. It kind of just slipped out once he looked at her with those big brown reassuring handsome eyes, begging to know the truth. She felt that she had to tell him, just because she couldn't break his heart again by carrying everything on. She wouldn't be the bitch who broke his heart all over again before it was even fully back together. She wouldn't turn into one of those Hollywood girls who thought they were better than everyone else. She wasn't better than everyone else, she was worse most of the time. She made mistakes, and sometimes it was hard to admit to them.

But Justin walked out once the words had escaped her and told her not to follow him. The truth hurt him and she hoped it would not hurt him as much as she thought. She hoped that he would talk to her again, because he was her friend. She didn't want to lose him. She needed all the friends she could get.

"Get in the car… now…"

Her mother had obviously spoken to Justin and she looked annoyed. Her face was like thunder. Apparently Justin had wandered out from the venue and decided that he would walk back to his apartment or catch a cab… he had a lot to think about.

Miley's life got considerably louder after that. She received yells from all different angles of her life. Her mother was upset with her because she had seen how much Justin liked her. She had seen how he didn't look like a lost little lamb anymore and it would have been a great way for her to get over Nick considering how much she already liked Justin. Her manager Jason just yelled at her about how much he had ruined the plan to get Justin to stop the talk of Nick Jonas and make her stop looking like such an idiot. If news of her little kiss with Nick broke the papers then they would have to deal with a whole mountain of media coverage that they hadn't even wanted. Brandi was annoyed but supportive of her, asking what happened between her and Nick in the dressing room, and accepting it gracefully.

Worst of all came the moment when her father walked into her bedroom and yelled at her saying she'd ruined the career of a young man who had a great future.

"He could have had an amazing career, Miley! He was already rejected once in his career and his life and now you're doing it all over again just for the sake of fooling around with a guy who doesn't even care about you!"

Miley was crying by this point, because her father never ever yelled at her. He was usually the calm one, but since him and Justin had been working together since Nashville Star he'd grown to love Justin like a son and they spent most of their time talking about music. He had been happy when Miley had started talking to him and became friends with him. He had a simple hope that maybe Justin could join his family. Justin was new and fresh and kinda like the Jonas brothers on that episode of the show they were on. He was spending all the time he could with Justin, writing songs and ignoring everyone else. Only now they weren't on a television show, they were in real life and her dad was angry at her for ruining his blossoming career with Justin.

She had yet to see how Justin's career involved her however. It was like her managers, parents and every other person who wanted Justin famous had some kind of conspiracy to make them a couple just so the boy could either become famous or stop "Niley" rumours. All Miley wanted was a friend and for people to stop talking about her and Nick. In her head it was over. It had been for nearly a year… especially after his little stunt.

"Why do you want me to be with him so much? I don't want to hurt him…"

"You already have!" he boomed, "That boy could have done great things…"

"Exactly… and he doesn't need my help to do it!" she sobbed, "I can't just stay with him… even though he probably doesn't want to after I've hurt him like this! I kissed Nick, Dad… I kissed him! I can't pretend that didn't happen!"

Her father wiped his mouth of his anger and tried to calm himself down as he paced backwards and forwards, saying nothing.

"I knew that one day your career would end because of all these boys…" he hissed finally to himself, "I told your mother 'we need to stop her before she ruins everything'… and your momma just told me to chill out… relax… let her be a teenager…"

Miley couldn't believe how selfish he was being. He had just in a few seconds pretty much become the epitome of what the internet and magazines were calling a Miley hater. He had just completely ripped her of all her human rights to make mistakes. This was the man that had told her not to give up trying, the one who had told her that if anything went wrong it didn't matter. Now he was forcing her to do things, not only for herself, but for some boy he'd known for less than a year.

"You think I've ruined everything?"

Her father laughed, "You made our whole family look like stupid idiots with all the things you've done… it was pushing it with the Vanity Fair picture and now it's just too much…" he punched the cabinet his hand had been resting on, "You've ruined not just your own career… you've ruined your family."

She shook her head in disbelief tearfully shocked. She was surprised she was able to speak, "You're… you're meant to support me and… ignore the stupid media, Dad…"

"I've already done this once Miley… fifteen years ago!" he walked over to the door and opened it wide, "I did my fair share of being hated… of people laughing at me because of the way I couldn't handle anything and I had to run away from it all," he pointed his finger at her, "I told you Miley that you could do whatever you wanted, that you could act and that you could sing… because that was honourable…" he glared at her full of malice, "But now you've just become a toy of the media… you're known more for your photos and for being with Nick goddamn Jonas more than you are for your voice…"

He turned to leave. She walked angrily after him screaming his name trying to get his attention and his acceptance again.

"Dad!"

"No Miley!" he said as he thundered down the stairs his duffle sitting by the door waiting for him to leave for another tour, "I'm going on tour… and I'll be back in a few weeks by which time you'll be on your little tour of the country and going to England…" he grabbed his coat, "You want me to give a crap about your career then you figure out a way to make sure that your life isn't one big media sham… then maybe I'll start respecting you again…"

She stared at him, questioning his words and taking them in to the depths of her soul, letting them swill and affect her… With an adamant nod, he left… taking his duffle bag and leaving their house, saying goodbye to no one.

Miley was never often allowed to leave the house on her own, but tonight she felt it was okay as she kindly asked the paparazzi to leave her alone to go on a bike ride. The weather was damp and foggy like her soul and she had nothing better to do now that her father had put the filming of the TV show on Hiatus just so he could be angry. He was such a poet… always getting his underwear in a twist for silly reasons.

Only it wasn't a silly reason… he was falling under the media pressure of his daughter who was just riding along with it. After he'd left that night, he hadn't answered her phone calls or spoke to her at all. She could often hear him on the phone to her mother, as Tish begged him to talk to his daughter, but he refused saying he was sticking to his guns and she had to change.

Miley put up a barrier of fake happiness, smiling away like she didn't care and working like nothing mattered to her. She went out with Mandy or got on with her schoolwork for an entire week, all the while refusing to admit that she was in a real argument with her father. She couldn't accept it. He was the man who had taught her all her life lessons. He was the man, who taught her right from wrong, and now she was completely confused to whether this was real or not and if what he was doing was right.

It kinda felt like a carpet had been pulled from under her, everything had fell to the floor and she just wanted her daddy to run and slip it right back, helping her to her feet and picking up the pieces. Her mother tried but nothing seemed to work while Miley was pretending the world was fine and dandy. Tish knew exactly how she was feeling really. It was hard to not think that the entire world was against you once your father, one of your best friends pretty much hated your guts too.

Miley stopped her bike outside his apartment and walked up to the door making sure no paparazzi were following her. It probably helped that she'd used all the back alleys to get to her destination. They couldn't follow her where there was no asphalt. She buzzed his apartment and waited for him to answer.

She hadn't thought he'd let her up, but he did. She walked into his apartment for the first time on her own nervous and sheepish as he sat in his sweats and wife beater his TV was on but muted as he perched on the end of his couch strumming at his guitar writing a new song. From what she gathered, he was asking someone not to hurt him. Guilt swelled in her gut as she knocked on the door, his face turning in shock.

"What ya working on?"

He put down the guitar and stood up quickly, "Just a song…"

She smiled quickly and shyly and shook her head, "A song is never just a song…"

Justin's mouth twitched with a smile and he walked over to his kitchenette, opening up the refrigerator. He looked inside before turning to her, finding her staring at him like and idiot, not sure what to say.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, "Soda? Ice Tea? I have some bottled water…"

"I'm not staying," she clasped her hands together nervously and shrugged her shoulders to protect herself from any kind of verbal lashing she might be getting soon, "I heard that you were leaving tomorrow… and I couldn't let you go for however long it is without clearing the air… or something… in person…"

Justin handed her a bottle of water, "The air's clear, Miley… no hard feelings…"

She shook her head, not believing him and knowing that he was mad at her still. He wasn't even looking at her like he used to. He was trying his best to not keep his gaze on her for any lengthy time and was busying himself doing things around his kitchen, all the while looking real angry. She took off her red messenger bag and put it down onto the retro vinyl topped table.

"I am sorry… you know that right?" she muttered not feeling the need to be an inconspicuous idiot, "You know that if he hadn't come in my dressing room and I still had you I'd be happy… don't you?"

He turned around to her from standing still by the sink, his hands pressed to the metal of the worktop, "You wouldn't…"

She looked at him confused, "I-I would… I care about you a lot and you're fun…" she shrugged. She was stuttering at it was driving her crazy. She had eloquence, she just couldn't show it right now, "I liked being with you…"

Justin turned around and walked up to her. She moved away from him nervously. There was slightly something scary about Justin who was a lot taller than her walking towards her with a slight nervous sadness about him. She looked up at him as he took hold of her arms and shrugged his shoulders. A feeling of hope that maybe everything would be right between them swooped over her and she smiled slightly.

"You may have liked being with me… you may care about me and all of that stuff that people think is important in relationships…" he looked down deep into her eyes, "I feel the exact same way about you that you do me… and what I feel for you will never be the same as what I felt for Laura," Miley became uncomfortable at the mention of his ex, a name almost certainly always followed. Her head dropped to the floor, "It's a one in a lifetime thing, Miles… it's that all consuming love that no one can ever understand. You love them and you hate them at the same time, you wanna kiss em and kill em simultaneously… and once they've gone nothing feels like it's gonna be the same again…"

Miley looked up at him sadly and nodded. It was the worst kind of rejection when you knew that you weren't as good as someone else. One name came to mind…

"I know…" she whispered, her mind flashing to Selena Gomez.

He smiled and titled her chin up to him, "You're one of the best friends I have ever had Miley Ray… and I don't want us to stop being friends because of one thing… but I think you know…" Miley looked away in guilt, "You're still in love with Nick, Miles…"

She burst into tears there and then, his head holding her face to look at him as she tried to look away. She placed her arms around his waist in need of some comfort for the first time in a week. She missed her Daddy's hugs and her mom's kisses to the forehead. She missed holding Nick's hand and she missed people holding her when she was sad. For too many nights now, she'd had to hold herself as she cried in her bedroom over how terrible her life was turning out. She was just happy that people still wanted to touch her and she wasn't repulsive to everyone.

"You're in love with him, Miles!" his voice was kinda desperate as he repeated his previous statement. She looked up and saw his warming brown eyes filled with tears, "You love him… and there's nothing I can do about it without completely breaking both our hearts… because I can't step up to the image of him you've got in your head…"

Miley shook her head as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "I don't want him… I don't want him back ever…" she sniffed, "He hurt me, Justin… and I can't forget that…" She wiped her nose, "He ruined my career, I lost you… I lost my friends…" She looked up at him seriously, "I want nothing more to do with Nick Jonas…" she spat angrily, "Nothing…"

Justin shrugged and shook his head, "Then why do you keep on trying to get him back…?"

Her own words rushed back over her like a slap to the cheek and her eyes shot up at him frustrated and stared at him as his gaze failed to waver and look away. He was adamant of his words and that's what scared her. He was telling the truth and Miley was afraid of the truth. The truth hurts. It creeps up silently and hits you in the face like a large wooden mallet. It sticks with you and it's all you can think about for hours, days and weeks. Even when you think you've defied the truth, it comes back and bites you on the butt till it sticks in your head that the true way is the only way it will ever be.

"I don't try and get him back…"

Justin smiled and brushed her hair from her eyes, "Who are you kidding, kid? You write heartfelt songs, you give shady magazine interviews and you kiss him back… you love that boy with every inch of your soul and there's no way any words you can say will ever change that."

She closed her eyes and let her sobs escape her, "It's not like that…"

"Yeah it is…" he shrugged, "You want him and you're not gonna give up trying to get him until you pay for all the mistakes both of you have made, until you admit to the world that you're meant to be and that you're finally truly incandescently happy."

She looked up at him and let out a soft little sigh with a smile, trying to stop blubbering like a baby, "I'm never going to be happy then, Justin… I'm always gonna be…" she paused and thought, "I'm always gonna be me…"

Justin looked at her concerned and bent down to press a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

"There's nothing wrong with that…"

She shook her head, "I always make mistakes…"

"Learn from them…"

"I never do…"

"Try…"

She looked up at him and smiled, "I have to try… I always try but it never works it always gets worse… and now I've lost my dad because of it…"

Justin looked down at her confused, his eyes wide with interest and inquisition. He put his hands on her shoulders and shook them a little, "What's all this about…? you've not lost your dad… you're dad loves you…"

She frowned questioningly at his gaze. He was genuinely surprised by her mention of her father. She looked up at him and shook her head. She thought her father would have spoke to Justin by now, but instead he had just gone and left him in the crap about everything too. Miley had been so worried about having to talk about her dad to Justin that she hadn't really wanted to come over. She didn't even have anything to be worried about after all.

She forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders, "He told me that I've ruined my family and if I want him to care I have to change everything… I have to fix everything…" she stared at his chest, "But I don't know how…" she sniffed, "I've tried so hard… so many times to fix my mistakes and stop being a failure that it just gets worse and I make more…"

Justin smiled sympathetically at her beautiful blue eyes filled with sadness and a responsibility she was too young to handle. He'd thought she was almost a woman… its turns out that she was just a little girl who had the world to figure out.

"Johnny Cash said that learning from your mistakes is a painful way to learn… but without pain there is no gain…" Justin wrapped his arms around her and brought her crying face into his shoulders, "All you have to do is be reminded that it'll stop hurting soon, Miley… and then it'll be okay…"

She burst into wild baby like sobs on his shoulder that lasted for hours. She cried and cried and let out every emotion possible with one simple action. Anger, sadness, confusion, loss and frustration… they were all executed from her in her manic sobs. She was slowly loosing her family, she hardly had any friends left, she had no boyfriend and all the ones she wanted wouldn't have her…

Knowledge of this was soon released in a daily newspaper twelve hours later. Her break up, her family plight and her despair were all seen in a simple image caught by smart paparazzi who had no respect for her personal life. She didn't care however. She was above all this. She was above the childishness of her father. She deserved better than Nick Jonas. She may not have many friends as she used to, but at least she had the ones that mattered and cared.

A/N: Keep on Reading!

BM

xo