A/N: Allo ma petite pois. Ca va?

Here's chapter 21. It's so interesting that many of you came to the conclusion that Miley, Nick and alcohol instantly meant some kind of sordid activity. I'm not going to say anything except that maybe you should "Hold that thought" for now.

So I don't know if I told you, but I got good news: I've been accepted into university! Actually… two universities :) and I'm visiting them on Wednesday so I probably won't be able to update until late that day… but only if you guys want me too… enjoy this chapter…

Yet again, I'm not sure of it. I'm beginning to wonder how bipolar I can get Miley before she explodes…

Let us test it :)

Xo

Chapter 21 – I'm Going to Stop Pretending That I didn't Break Your Heart

Never in her life had she thought that alcohol was a good idea. But then again she hadn't thought that she'd be sat at one of the huge celebrity-ridden after party's for the American Music Awards on her sixteenth birthday, her father ignoring her, her ex-boyfriend staring at her and the award for best Breakthrough artist in her hand. But then again, a year ago, never in her life would she have said that her life would have turned into the huge pile of crap it was now.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS MILEY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"

The whole room shook with the amount of people at this party singing. It echoed off the walls as about three hundred people all packed into one huge hired out nightclub for the after party of the awards show at the same time began applauding her on this wonderful and celebratory day. Every single important and famous musician that had been at the actual awards show was currently stood around her clapping their hands to her as she blushed and pushed her hair from her eyes like an idiot. Hadn't it been enough that she'd had that stupid party at Disneyland? Now they wanted her to be on show in front of all those people she respected bragging about how she could drive now and nothing much else…

"Thanks guys" she smiled nervously as she nodded to all the people she knew that surrounded her. One by one, people she was acquainted with but didn't really know came to her and began to kiss her on the cheek wishing her their own private happy birthday. All she wanted to do was go home, eat some of the chocolate cake her mom had picked up for her earlier that day, while she turned on her TV and watched some serious Grey's Anatomy… hmm… maybe she'd crack open a carton of ice cream and gorge the whole lot just for the fun of it… it was her birthday after all… she deserved some kind of luxury on a day that was meant to be a celebration. She didn't even feel alive let alone older. She didn't want to celebrate. She just wanted to become catatonic and emotional.

"Champagne?"

Joe gave her shoulder a nudge and indicated to the nearby waitress carrying the trays of champagne flutes around above her laughed at him in disbelief and shook her head. He shrugged his shoulders at her and held a hand out for the waitress to pause as he convinced her to have just one glass. After all, the award in her hand showed the world that she deserved it. The pain in her eyes just proved to her two best friends who sat either side of her that she desperately needed it. She just needed one night to forget everything…

"Here…" the waitress said, "You deserve it after winning that award… I promise not to tell anyone…"

Miley shook her head, "But I'm not old enough for champagne…"

The waitress shook her head confused, a glint in her eye, "What are you talking about Champagne for Miss Miley…?" Miley screwed up her face mixed up and mirroring the same confusion in the older gal's face. She watched as a smile broke out on her face, her blond hair in her eyes as she winked,

"You're drinking apple juice…"

Miley laughed as the waitress handed Mandy and Joe their own flute of Champagne. The night was looking up.

Champagne didn't really mix to well with Miley… it made her feel dizzy and sick as she spun around on the dance floor underneath the retro disco ball, watching the rainbow shapes hitting the ceiling. Her hair was undone, untidily hanging around her shoulders as the small amount of alcohol rushed around her bloodstream. She was laughing like a maniac as nothing appeared to be humorous at all except for her sham of a life, her annoying ex boyfriend who was staring at her and her father who had spent the entire duration of the first day of her sixteenth year avoiding her like the plague and talking to anyone else he could find – including her ex-boyfriend.

"Ok Britney…" Joe mumbled as he grabbed her under the arms and held onto her, "I think you need to get some air before a camera catches on that you're wrecked and ready to wretch…"

She held onto her two best friends and giggled as they attempted to inconspicuously take her out to the roof where she could sit and sober up a little. She bounced off of them, hitting the walls and causing more trouble than she should have done. Her skin was reaching boiling point, blood rushed quicker around her body as Mandy beside her began silently planning the moment when she went back to party and kicked the ass of the waitress who gave Miley champagne. She had probably just been another kind face with bad intentions… and she was going to pay.

"We could pretend that someone slipped it to her like the Beatles pretended that someone had slipped them acid before an interview…" Joe contributed as Mandy paced the concrete of the roof trying to think of an excuse in case something bad happened. Miley was half asleep and leaning against him, limp in her form and drooling a little as she dozed in and out of sleep, "People will believe that…"

When Mandy shook her head and the door to the roof burst open, the sound echoing from downstairs and belting in his ears, Joe decided that it was best time to shut up about how Miley currently was. He kicked himself stupidly and in panic however when her father walked out from the door and stopped in shock as the door slammed shut behind him. It was too late to turn back and pretend he'd never been there now. He had to do something that wouldn't make him look like the idiot he was…

At the same time, Mandy and Joe moved closer to Miley trying to shield her from his presence, hiding away her condition.

Miley however, had every intention of letting him know how drunk she was…

"Hey Daddy!!" she smiled and she stood up knocking past her two best friends. She looked reminiscent of a rag doll as she began shuffling her feet towards him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her weight fell onto him and he held onto her. He looked down at her through narrowed eyes, his face contorting with shame and disgust.

Didn't he understand that most of this was his fault?

Her best friends watched on, not knowing what to do. Their arms wrapped around each other's waists as they observed the little girl who wanted her Daddy to love her again, trying to win him with her happy charms. Joe's fingers dug into his girlfriend's skin and she squeezed his side in agreement of their fear. They didn't want to be witness to this. They didn't even want this to be something anyone could become witness to. This confrontation shouldn't have occurred until both of them, father and daughter, had wanted it to happen and not just one.

But it was as she tried to hold on and he tried to let go, pushing her away until she was stumbling back across the concrete almost falling to her knees, that both best friends knew that Miley's heart was only going to break more.

"Daddy…" she smiled and she pointed to the door, "I won… I won the award… did you see?"

All she wanted as his attention, for him to call her his baby girl like he used to before he would envelope her in a hug so powerful it's emotion could energise an entire neighbourhood. She wanted to wake up and to go down to her living room and sing with her dad for a few hours. She wanted to be able to start working again… to start acting again and recording the show because once they had reconciled there would be no reason for them to avoid each other anymore. She wanted family dinners around their huge dining table. She wanted the pranks and she just wanted her normal life back…

"You are a disgrace, child…" he said as he stepped back away from her, "You should be ashamed of yourself for letting people see you like this… you should be appalled at yourself…" he reached the door and opened it before looking at her, "I know I am…"

Miley stared at him with her mouth wide open. She was thirsty. She needed water. Her head was pounding and she was sure that her body was shutting down as she stared at her father. She was hearing what he said but it wasn't really sinking in. She was sure it wasn't good because her two best friends were looking at him in shock, their own apparent disgust evident on their faces. She stared at him and tried to understand what he was saying… but she couldn't… instead all she could understand was her anger in her self.

She continued to let her mind buzz in confusion until with a slam of the door, it was a mess all over again.

"Miley…"

She looked around, holding her purse and her head in her hands as she re-entered the party. Only a little while longer and her mom would come to pick her up after she'd driven home her father in his angry rage at the daughter they shared. Her mom had sent her a text minutes after Miley had wandered around the roof confused saying that she'd be back in an hour and a half to pick her up and they had some serious talking to do if she was feeling up to it. Even in her drunken state of affairs, Miley knew that meant her mom was going to yell at her and rip her a new one.

Nick looked at her with confusion in his eyes and for once she didn't care that he was standing in front of her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. These confrontations were boring her now and she'd said everything she needed to say. What more could he possibly want from her? Hadn't he got the message already? She didn't give a crap about his useless apologies. He could stop trying to win her over.

"What do you want, Nick? I'm tired, I wanna go home and I'm really, really drunk…"

Joe snorted into his coke and looked around at Mandy's wide-eyed face in alarm. Dang she was being forward today.

Nick played with his collar nervously and shrugged his shoulders, "I was just wondering if you wanted to dance with me… my way of saying congratulations…" he shrugged his shoulders, "That's all I want…"

Mandy looked to Joe, Joe looked to Nick, Nick looked to Miley and Miley looked around the room as her head spun. She sighed and shook her head in disbelief, turning to thrust her purse into Mandy's hands, her body jumping into Joe in shock, "Fine… one song…" she stumbled over to him grabbing and held out her hands, "…and I'm not kissing you again…"

Nick led her out onto the dance floor with a smile as Mandy and Joe looked at each other in shock. This so wasn't a good idea… it was probably the worst idea in the world… the paparazzi were going to have a field day. Mandy shook her head, and Joe nodded agreeing with her. There was going to be some serious damage after this night and none of it made up for the good that had come of it. No American music award was worth this.

The new song started and their arms wrapped around each other, one more surely than the other… One was looking for comfort, the other looking for something to steady her so she didn't fall flat on her face.

This business was going to kill someone of them one day.

"So you're drunk, huh?"

She nodded, her head resembling that of a newborn baby as it flailed around out of control, "It's my birthday, I need to celebrate… and I don't care what anyone thinks today…"

He laughed at her as he held her closer, her body slipping, her knees buckling and her limbs losing all movement. Her head rested on his shoulders as he pushed her around the dance floor to some slow song he didn't know the name of. She was breathing steadily, almost too steadily. He looked down and her eyes were closed. Was she sleeping on him while dancing?

"Miley?"

"What?"

He smiled and shook his head, leaning to talk into her ear, "Apart from the being drunk stuff… How are you?"

"Freakin' Dandy…" she groaned as she lifted her head up to look at him, "What do you care?"

He smiled at her and his stomach panged wanting to yell at her that she knew why he cared. He'd told her that he cared. He'd told her so many times that he cared and she'd listened and she'd argued and argued. He doubted that his attempts, his little missions to prove himself, were even beginning to break through the thick skin she was covered in. She was ignoring everything he said and it hurt to know that she didn't care how he felt. It hurt to know that nothing he had done had mattered to her and that every single thought about him had been glazed over as nothing. She had told him she hated him, but he wanted to believe that she was just talking the talk. He was sure, that after everything and no matter what he had done, that she could never even try to hate him. They'd been through too many firsts, too many experiences together for her to hate and forget him completely. She just had to remember.

But then again, she was wasted… who remembered anything worth remembering while they were wasted?

"I care…" he said truthfully.

But she shook her head and rose a finger to point at him (though it was completely in the wrong direction) a laugh escaping her. He smiled at her unsurely and shrugged his shoulders at her.

"If you're trying to convince me of your sincerity Nicky J, you can think again…" she lifted her hands to his shoulders and shoved him a little bit so that he shifted from her for a moment before returning. Her eyes were hazing and angry as she continued to shake her unstable head at him, "I'm still pissed at you…"

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He was humouring her, "For what reason this time?"

She jabbed him in the shoulder, "You gave that stupid interview to Seventeen and now I've got cameras and middle aged creepy men asking me all kinds of disgustingly crude questions about what our relationship consisted of!"

"So have I…" he said moving closer to her and whispering in her ear, "But I don't care… I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart Miley… it's the least you deserve after everything I did… I was just answering the questions…"

Miley's body continued to sober up by the minute. Her body was tired, but it was no where as exhausted as her brain. She was flooded with more thoughts, more worries of which she wanted to escape from. Even in her half-drunken state she knew that continuing to keep talking to him about the same thing over and over again was just wasting the time that she should have been saving to worry about the more important things in her life… like her father and her career… Nick didn't matter. He didn't come before her father.

She shook her head and she'd never been this exhausted and prayed to god that she would never have to be again. Her eyes fluttered closed and she lowered her arms from around him holding onto his forearms as she stared him down.

"I don't believe you…" she sighed, "I can't believe you…"

He tightened his grip on her arm and tugged her closer to him. For a second she was sure he was going to kiss her, and for a drunken minute she was sure that she probably would have kissed him back out of pure inability to control herself in this state. Chastising and saving herself from certain self-deprecation, she took a step back away from him and shook her head. He only leant closer…

"If you think I'm doing all this for my own benefit…" he looked around at the people looking at them and tried his best to pretend that they weren't even there, "You're wrong…" He sighed and shook his head, "I'm doing this because I want to prove myself to you and because I would like for you to care about me again when I care so damn much about you…"

She scoffed and stumbled away. She failed to find her feet for a moment and played it off as a trip of her large ridiculous shoes. She remained still for a moment, trying not to make a complete fool of herself as she shook her head at him, a smirk on her face. Her eyes were sad as part of her wanted to believe what he was saying. But so many parts of her were saying the same things to her and she was more than sure that she was still doing the right thing. He had a lot to learn about what it was like to be a human being… what it was like to be a good person.

"I'm sorry, Nick…" she gave a shake of her head as Mandy and Joe approached, "I can't care about you…" she paused and watched as his eyes saddened, her voice cracking as he did so. How could he be making this so hard? "Because all you care about is yourself…"

He watched as she turned to find her mother's stern and angered gaze, her sister dressed in her jammies and her best friend who soon had her under the arms helping her to walk. She wasn't the same Miley she used to be and he was noticing it more each and every time he saw her. She wasn't as fun as she used to be… not as… Miley…

"Dude…" Joe said as he walked towards him looking back at his best friend and his girlfriend.

"What?" Nick muttered watching after one of them.

Joe smiled and patted him on the back. He stunk of Champagne too, only he could hold it better. He snorted and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, "Even when she's drunk she's smarter than you…"

Nick stared at him and shook his head. He narrowed his eyes. He slipped his hands into his pockets as his brain worked overtime. He was going to fix this… he was going to fix it.

All he had to do was figure out how…

A/N: yeah… I didn't like it… I'm over it…

But I love the next chapter because it pretty much explains the larger part of everything that happened to them previously and what NJ did for Miley to be such a badass. It's a long chapter too… like… 7000 words… but it's got to be one pretty darn amazing chapter if I don't say so myself.

Love you all

B xo

PS. Here's a little break-down:

Chapter 22 - Miley gets a slap in the face of realisation... real realisation.

Chapter 24 - She gets even more of a slap from the last person she wants to get a slap in the face of realisation from ;)

Chapter 25 - The whole story will take a completely different twist that will last a larger part of the story. I don't know how long this story is going to last... I hope you like long ones... hehe