Chapter 11: Saga of a Corporate Kaiserin

Summary:

One chapter rough draft, you've been warned.

A Salaryman with a plain but stable career catches the Ire of 'The powers that be' that run (or try to) run the world, and dies. Supposedly did, rather, a Misterious Person saved his life and offers a Deal, Reenter the Corporate Ladder of a certain company and provide help from within to deal a lethal blow to the Evil bastard Investor X. The catch? Whilst he was saved, his body wasn't, and there were no Male Bodies to put his soul into, so the Salaryman reenters life as Tanya Von Degurechaff, ready to climb once more, the treacherous Corporate ladders.

Chapter

Today's Candidates proved to be a nightmare, that he was sure... Incompetents, underqualifieds, rich brats that never truly felt how hard adult life is and so much more. All bad candidates and of course, he had already gotten the necessary number of "Backburner" dead end job slots the higher ups needed to keep things smooth towards the Investors, finding the QUALITY candidates however? A hellish nightmare, all with promissing Bachelors or skills had two or three annoying red flags, and so far, no one he could let in lest he risk some muddyslinger crap worker into an actual Job Position.

"Damn, today will be yet again a night in the office i guess."

HR manager Lergen had to do this ungrateful job, ever since those annoying new regulations kept coming from the Investor side to make the already shit Government requirements a nightmare of absolute shit proportions. That his subordinates at HR also had to be tasked with keeping things smooth whilst putting down the daily fires the unqualified slobs kept causing also made it impossible for him to shove this to his already strained department. Looking through each CV they received, the Rejected Pile was all but the feeble picked number of Dead end recruits so far, almost 100% in practice, it's on one small chunk he picks that one of them ends falling, cursing, Lergen leaves his chair to pick it, looking at it, a cold shiver runs his spine.

"Tanya Von Degurechaff...?"

The photo on her CV, a milktoast portrait photo, very standard and a go-to for a baseline CV model, yet those eyes, the icy stare managed to send shivers down Lergen's spine even if it was a Photo. Shaking his head, either exhaustion or the amount of paperwork was getting to his sanity, he read it. Bachelor from Valkheim, an Old institution that's been never as Famous or renowed as its other European Counterparts or even the American ones, still he would consider Alumni of such place rather than those so called "Big names" since as of Late, it's a safer bet to hire a recently graduated Bachelor of Valkheim than a Doctor from Havard or Oxford. The small size and their sticking to more affordable pricings attracted some who want a Bachelor but refuse to take the insanity Universities were shoving down their students throats, at times by holding the Graduation hostage itself. Valkheim also could be trusted to maintain a strictly "to the Topic of the course" stance for Lessons and filtered their teachers on extremely strict requisites.

Honour student, 5th place of her year. A good Bachelor student. No other work experiences, seemingly for two years after graduation and even the last half of her Course, she had been bedridden due to health issues. Guess that explains why this is her first job application.

"Still... Something worries me..."

Opening his Office Laptop, he searches for the University's site, no matter how small or ever so financially dire it was getting for them, their site was at least, from Lergen's experience, adequate enough and oddly efficient in resource usage, iddle thoughs aside, he got what he wanted, her Student Profile from then, and he found some info indeed.

"Efficient and hardworking... But seems to struggle on team based tasks... Randomnly made groups are her weakest part of such, if the group is remotely able to coordinate with her... Demands... It quickly raises in score a lot..."

From experience from previous employees he had to handle, this meant either being bad at Socializing or only a narrow range of types of people she does get along speaking strictly of a Job relationship. Not a dealbreaker, but for now it's better to keep her in case this massive pile produces nothing more. As he is ready to start looking at a new one. A Knock at the Door frame startles him.

"Heya! Going to do an All night again?"

"Elya... Yes, any problem with such?"

Elya, the Buxom red haired Office lady, while technically part of the Data archival department, she's more offtenly anywhere else doing handyman for the many Departments offices. He was no stranger to it, hard to not ask her since she seems to be quite the capable woman with Omnidisciplinary knowledge. She picks the CV Lergen just put aside for the time being, one quick read and she has a smirk in her face, not good, he knows it.

"Oh my! What a cutie little thing! And she fits just what the Project Mondragon team was in dire need of!"

This was clearly suspicious.

"Why haven't you told me that? Those stubborn eggheads NEVER send a request for personel until too late! Shit... Still, she's just a Graduated bachelor with no work experience! How could she-"

"Have you read her Graduation thesis? Quite the piece of work, deals with exactly one major issue they aren't managing to deal with."

One check on the Valkheim site later and he got it, a Paper on Handling Logistics and its costs under Goobally quarantinned or blockaded transport routes, including ways to Loophole the hell of many Nations laws that are even nowadays screwing the transports of so many Products and Materials everywhere.

"Quite the work i should say... Still, i doubt she would get along there..."

"Would you want someone who gets along? How did the last one go?"

"Fair point."

Last one he hired to manage them just ended becoming one more in that headache inducing nightmarish project of the company, doesn't hurt trying to Put someone to butt heads with them, worst come to pass she Resigns.

"Fine, but you're the one to be responsible for her, my department already has too much to manage."

"Alright, Alright."

The rest of the Night went uneventful, by the time he went to Sleep in the Sleeping bag he had under his desk, two new Hires were chosen, hopefuly they would last and manage to endure the absolute shitfest those Quota hires always caused. On the "Hired" box, two CVs, Tanya Von Degurechaff and Victorya Ivanovna Serebryakova.

Two Weeks later

"What load of crap..."

I sighed, an act i have done many times the past three days, after all, what i am about to begin in earnest is nothing but a redo of what took me YEARS from Graduating University to getting the job and then raise my rank up to a Cozy HR safe spot, had i not almost got killed back then, maybe i would be already one position higher as well. No use crying over spilled Milk, not when this new chance came at a cost. One i am ashamed had been agreed by me for mostly illogical reasons. Heh, Rational, Logical and Sane person i truly am, right?

First day on the Job, last Week's Interview was like many i already did either as the Interviewer or Interviewed, passed with flying Colours, albeit i have to say, the number of wastes of resources they let pass gave me not so much reason to feel confident my double or triple Job in here will be remotely nice. Presenting my Employee ID to the Gatekeeper, then on an Automated door scanner before the Elevator and Stairs, i enter the Elevator, modestly crowded, which my current body finds rather unpleasant, being about chest level with most of the others. At my floor, i leave, free at last! Until i find my Office desk and start my work that's.

"Hello! Degurechaff-san, right?"

As i sat on my asigned seat, a voice comes right behind, a redhead lady in a Typical Office dress or a Shirt, Skirt and leggings, a very Prominent pair of orbs try to force my eyes to them, thankfully my Professionalism is better than whatever Leftover male interests i hold.

"Yes, you're?"

"Oops, my bad! Name's Elya Müller, for the time being i will teach you the ropes here!"

Quite the energetic lady, at least she was polite as much her "assets" were vast. For starters, my current Office place is as part of the team tasked with Project Mondragon, and for a newcomer, just handling the Data before it has to be sent to the Higher ups, in short, my task for now is checking the Reports for Misspellings or typos, fix them, then compile them all and send it all to whoever has been tasked with delivering said data to our esteemed Leadership and Board. For a job, it really was as bottom level it can go, and since this project involves lots of Experts of their fields, the reports and data should be in good order.

Or so i thought.

"Gah! How come these numbfucks can put the WRONG DATA in their OWN reports? Fuck! I have to constantly send it all back for correction!"

I am surprised to know this entire thing had been going for over a Year, and the problem remains the very same, absolutely USELESS Reports filled to the brim with errors, Typos, Wrong data in the wrong variables... The sole reason is probably that the Core part of this entire thing IS PROVEN to work and be usable. But how come those eggheads manage to FUCK some simple matter of Fact reports? Just slap the data in the appropriate boxes and... Ah... This is... Just bad... Really bad...

"Degurechaff?"

So lost in my own thoughts, i didn't notice that my Coworker, another Newbie, was by my side, carrying the Coffee she picked for me on her short break.

"Oh, Serebryakova, sorry, was... Lost in these... Figments of attempted reports."

I pick the Cup she had been holding for me and give a Polite thanks, she sits on her desk, right next to mine, Visibly in trouble,.well, even i had to fumble a bit when i got my first actual Job, so giving some help to a fellow coworker should earn me some Points.

"Anything troubling you?"

I ask.

"Oh! Ehhh... No... No, it's fine, really!"

"You've been at this same report for a while already, i am a fellow coworker! Also, until i get the fixed reports, i can help."

"Hm, thanks! These boxes, they keep getting messy anytime i try to fix this typo and..."

Hmm, hmm, how nice, while working back then at HR, i wasn't exactly the Most approachable, but i made sure to at least be nice. Guess having a Cute face helps making my constant angry or frowned face less of a repelant. I guide her on how to fix the messed Data sheet those idiots sent her way, nothing troublesome and after a few tweaks, Serebryakova was finishing her report, by means of returning it to the sender since there were so many Mistakes on it as well.

"How's she doing?"

Lergen asks Elya, after all, it's her responsibility, even now, he works on the Piles of Papers, most being useless Complaints from the useless employees they had to keep hired.

"Pretty fine... And whipping the entire project team in Order even!"

"I can see that" Lergen said while pointing his Gaze at the loads of paperwork he has been doing.

"She realy knows how to bring those wastes to the breaking Point..."

It's been about a Month since Tanya's employment at the Company, and the results clearly told a scary history, over hald the dead weight they couldn't fire resigned after some lame Social Media stints (that to Lergen's and Elya's pleasure caused their Twatter accounts to be banned, bless the rocketman new policy on bans) against her, who didn't even have one (that she divulged at least) and the Number of wasteful petty complaints was drowning the already overworked Manager of HR. That she also suggested making a company wide Uniform report format that got accepted by the Upper Management was a welcome surprise for Elya, and the Number of Incidents Project Mondragon had been causing weekly also dropped to less than Half before she was hired.

"I can't believe she's on her first Job though..."

This and her own work results started getting the HR manager curious, no one on their First Job handles oneself so skillfully and with a matter of fact aura, her way of mocking and demoralizing the bad workers to the Point they resign of their own accord also shows a degree of Knowledge in corporate psychological manipulation, something even him and his subordinates struggle with to be honest.

"Maybe she had to help at her Parents work?"

"I looked a bit deeper, she's an Orphan from young age, at a small but reputable Orphanage, no way they put her to do such stuff there."

"Did she get Adopted?"

"No, got through School and University on a Grant for exceptionally talented students."

Elya ponders for a bit, with a finger on her chin, it lasts only a few seconds before she skips into one of her ever cheerful poses.

"Then just ask her! If her talents and skills are making you worried her CV was false, just make a call! Isn't it about that time where the new hires are called for a talk about how they're doing?"

Indeed, he could go with that, while her reliable help made wonders to keep them steady even amidst the Shit mountain of absurd investor demands, Government regulations and an ever growing number of useless staff positions and workers, even that could only help so much, also it was embarrasing to him that he was almost forgetting such Important tool HR used towards new Hires.

"I see. Indeed, thanks for the Reminder."

"No worries! See you later!"

She leaves his Office in a cheerful mood, whatever has been going lately, is keeping her in a good mood. Maybe it's the other new girl, Serebryakova if he recalls right, same School and University, however she ended having to redo her Graduation thesis thrice, aside the somewhat shy and reluctant personality, a good person, he hopes she manages to make a career start here.

"Putting the Data like this may help, at least it's faster for me."

"I see, thanks!"

One whole Month already, at the start, things looked like some horribly managed company that she guessed should be relying only on sheer luck, Brand prestige or Financial foundations from their Good times to survive for a few more years before being devoured by the cruel landscape of today's Economy. Colour me surprised to hear that the higher Management has been circumventing most disastrous Policies by shoving the forced hiring metrics to do nothing but put an Useless Cog disconnected from the Corporate Machinery, it still caused problems of course, but they were the Minimum possible, still, this was a Losing friction war, This Business against Nations and Lazy corrupt Investors hellbent on destroying the Free Market and install a Communist style Tyrannical rule where they remain the fat cats forever. They had the advantage however. Laws and Money were both heavily to their side. Why i was put here? Best i got from my "Benefactor" was a dodgy answer that because this Company has been proving to be a though Nail to hammer, the Sketchiest, most Corrupt and Politically driven Investor put a godawful lot of money to start forcing more and more inneficient and inept decisions to pass by force. And what that says about why i had to apply for a Job here? Absolutely Nothing.

The door to this Cubicle filled floor opens, like a raging Storm, a man barges in.

"IS MS. DEGURECHAFF HEEEERE?"

Fuck, just my day, after getting a more Uniform report format to be adopted, the amount of errors got lower, but still, my workload remains as bothersome as it's large, and now probably one more R&D egghead of this Entire Project fiasco got mad at me... They should have learnt how to make a fucking passable report if my remarks hurt that much.

"Yes... Mr...?"

"SCHUGEL! ADELHEID VON SCHUGEL!"

"Mr. Schugel, what may be your need?"

I admit the way i speak at times may be grating, but i am being pretty much civil and respectful as a fellow Company Coworker right now. His face tells me he didn't take my stoic and pretty corporate greeting as such though.

The rather Angry Schugel went on a Tirade saying my constant Nitpicking of his Reports once sent to the top brass, got his project threatened of being shut down, not to mention that Budget cuts were done. After some straight jabs and other painful jabs at how the Project has wasted a good three Years without a single tangible result worth mention, my snarking got him the Brilliant idea of forcing me to take part in the next Meeting for the R&D guys about Mondragon. I would love nothing more than refuse, but ubfortunately he's the Project R&D chief, a measly Office worker like me couldn't refuse, lest i suicide my Career and Contract with my "Benefactor" here and now.

The storm walked away, and as it exited, a recognizable voice comes next to me.

"Wow! Never seen someone demoralize Dr. Schugel in ages!"

"Hello Elya, you need anything?"

For a mentor figure, she was more often than not having to help everywhere to keep this company running and not catching spontaneous fires caused by the parasites forced onto us than get me and Visha up to task for the Job, and when she was present... It was always something else.

"Oh no, HR just asled me to tell you and Victorya that they would want you there tomorrow Morning! It's nothing really! Just a talk to know how you are doing so far!"

I hold a snort, HR wanting to talk? That's as Obvious of a true test it can be. Worst case possible, you sink your Career at the company right away, on the best case, it becomes merely a Positive point for future Promotions.

"Understood, anything of note for tomorrow?"

"Nothing, just make sure your work dress isn't a mess."

"Anything else?"

"Nope, see ya! Ah! Serebryakova!"

"Huh? Yes?"

"Want to eat Lunch together? Like old times?"

Well, that's news, so Elya was the friend she talked about a few days ago.