Well, I had this done a while back. so I'm just going to post it now.

KEEP IN MIND that this used to be part of chapter 1, but it got really long so i cut it and instead made it chapter 3. Plus, i needed to fill you in on the what was going on at PPTH. So to really understand this chapter, i recommend you re-read chapter one. I REPEAT chapter one and this chapter used to be put otghether as one chapter, but i needed to talk a bit about PPTH. So PLEASE review chapter one just so you can sort of get it.

Either way though, it took me forever to write this. I've changed it a billion times, and im afraid that if I don't post it now, im going to change more and then there will be no story left.

I must admit, this is really confusing. I tried as hard as i could to explain it all, but even after all of the editing, i couldn't get it to completely fit what i was hoping it would because the whole situation is really complicated. Just bear with me though, because it will all be cleared up in the next chapter, i promise! but if by any chance, you do have any questions, message me!

sooo...R&R!

Disclaimer- i don't own House MD. it all belongs to Fox and David Shore.

just don't steal my take on it all :)

House shook his head. Why was he…not hurting? He was sure it had been almost a day since he first arrived at the mental institute, and he hadn't had a vicodin since. With the thought of the pill, he suddenly felt a craving. Amber was doing a really great job of keeping his mind off of the pill.

That couldn't be good.

"You can't always get what you want." Amber spoke slowly. "And you, of all people, would know that good things don't happen without strings attached."

She glared at him, her cold eyes seeing right through his stiff body.

"There's really no happily ever after."

House slowly shifted his vision from his pain-free leg over to where amber was sitting.

Amber raised her eyebrows. "What? You thought getting me away would make everything perfect? Just reminding you, you haven't thought of vicodin for about a day now until I mentioned it. You're too pre-occupied listening to me." House didn't need to be reminded. Amber, of course, mentioned it anyways. She jumped down form her perch triumphantly.

"Why aren't I in pain?" House still hadn't moved. The sudden shock left him frozen.

Amber spoke with a casual cheeriness. "If I know, shouldn't you know?" she knew the answer to the question, and she asked him like it was the most obvious response in the world.

House was confused. "Well, I don't know, which means you shouldn't either."

"What if I knew things that you don't...things that you will never admit to yourself when I'm gone? IF I'm ever gone." Amber watched every possible emotion cross his face.

When House didn't speak, Amber did.

"It's all in your head." She smiled.

"I have a screwed up leg. Those tend to hurt sometimes." House rolled his eyes in his usual sarcasm. But it wasn't the same, for there was fear beneath it all.

Ignoring him, Amber repeated herself, now picking at her nails.

"It's all in your head. The misery, the pain, everything. And you will never admit that to yourself." Amber shifted onto her right hip, staring House down again. He dropped his gaze to the floor in mystification. She had some explaining to do.

"House, your leg doesn't hurt. Why is that? Because I'm here to remind you about the truth…that it's not real. And while I'm here, the pain will stay gone." She knew House understood the technical part of it, but she went on anyways.

"You're so pathetic that you literally need your own subconscious to tell you that you're not in pain. So, that's my job. To remind you that it's all in your head. This is one of your weaknesses, House. You doubt yourself. Sure, you know yourself, but do you really know yourself?"

House rubbed his thigh.

"But you and I both know that you don't need me to tell you that you might never have a chance with the one person out there who will actually love you back. You can admit to yourself the guilt. AND you can admit to yourself that you have feelings for cuddy. You knowthat you always have."

"All that's left is for you to tell her. Then maybe you'll have that chance you've always wanted."

Amber laughed.

"I was in pain." House exclaimed, desperately. He tried ignored her last remarks, just focusing on the ache that should be in his leg.

"My point exactly." Amber shook her head. "You will NEVER admit to yourself that you weren't ever in pain. Me on the other hand…I can be here to remind you." She cocked her head.

"But if I'm not here…" she took her index finger and gently traced the path of a tear on her cheek.

House was way-beyond confused at this point. It was all happening so fast.

"Well if you're my subconscious, you're part of my mind. And if you're telling me that there's no actual pain, that means I'm attempting to tell myself there's no actual pain." He stopped. He scoffed at this thought.

Amber was quipped. "Do you really think that you will ever go deep enough into your brain to find me and to really admit to yourself and believe that you're leg is just an excuse to pill pop?"

House knew that there had been pain, and him trying to tell himself that it was all in his head was just bizarre. So obviously he wasn't about to believe or admit that it was all in his head. Plus, he needed that pill.

House thought about what Amber had said about Cuddy. He always knew that he loved Cuddy. His mind shifted to the way the tears glazed over her eyes when she fired him after he announced to the entire hospital that he slept with her. He was disappointed that it never actually happened. He wanted her, and she knew that. Hell, she wanted him too! But of course there are strings attached, he thought. There always are.

Remembering the current situation and his leg, he looked up at amber's all-too smug smile.

He was sure there was pain before.

"It's you're call, House." Amber approached the frozen doctor, who hadn't moved much during this conversation.

"You have to choose. You can admit to Cuddy that you're guilty about being an ass. You can finally have her. I'll go away."

She twirled a strand of hair around her index finger. "It's not that hard. Plus, you know you want her."

House knew. But if Amber went away…

Amber continued to weigh the pros and cons. "Or, you could be drug free. Pain free. I'll have to stay, but try to remember how it was when I first showed up." She made a popping sound with her lips. " It was pretty cool."

House was on the verge of insanity. Well, whom was he kidding? He WAS insane. He glared at Amber, knowing that he had to make a choice. She had a way of making both options sound luxurious. But in reality, House knew he couldn't have everything. He understood that Amber would go away if he fesses up to his feelings of guilt. If he did, she wouldn't need to be there to remind him of how he was supposed to feel. If he acknowledged his feelings of guilt and passion to Cuddy, the hallucinations would disappear but the pain and drugs wouldn't. The other option was that the pain would go away if Amber stayed, which meant no more drugs and no more mental hospitals. That is, if he kept quiet about Amber's presence. But that also meant no more Cuddy.

He thought about having no leg pain. House had always secretly wanted to not be considered a cripple. Even the strong-willed house couldn't bear the hurting 24/7.

Something was missing though. Amber wasn't telling the full truth. It hit house that either way, there would be pain. Either way, weather it be pain from his leg, or pain from his heart, he would never be completely happy.

Cuddy. He needed Cuddy. At least he thought he did, until he was presented with the idea of no leg pain. Both options were tempting. And House was always one to be selfish. Yeah, being with Cuddy would benefit him, and it would benefit her also. The happiness was spread equally. His leg, on the other hand, would create joy only he could experience, and that was always something he enjoyed.

No, House thought at the idea of having to make a choice- one that would change his life. He knew which happiness he wanted, and he knew he couldn't have both. After all, cutthroat bitch was right. There's really no happy ever after.

He opened his mouth to answer…the words that would determine his fate.

Suddenly, his mind was overwhelmed with feelings. He lost complete control of his thoughts, and his head was swirling in never-ending circles. House felt his knees give out, snapping like twigs in the fall. He felt his head hit the ground a little too hard as he fell onto the tile. As he lay on the floor shaking uncontrollably, He saw Cuddy's face, but as soon as the vision had come, it was gone.

No.

Amber leaned over his seizing body and stared into his empty, blue eyes, smiling wider than ever before.

"So, what's it gonna be?"

He looked up at her face, realizing that she was the joy he would never have. The way her smiled played at her lips was a feeing he would never have. For a second, House thought of Cuddy. The way Amber's eyes glistened when she was enjoying House's agony was the same way that Cuddy's did when she was laughing and having a good time.

This is what it came down to, House thought. Maybe he was about to make the wrong choice. Maybe life wanted him to snatch the other opportunity, and wouldn't let him make the choice himself.

Maybe this was fate.

And with that, everything became a blur.

Black.

What seemed to be a psychiatrist opening the door, peering into the drab room.

Black.

A crowd of doctors dressed in white coats and speaking loudly, holding medical equipment house couldn't fully make out.

Black.

"Can you hear me? We're going to help you. Are you ok?"

All House could manage to choke out was one word.

"Wilson."

Black.

So....any questions? feel free to ask away...just message me!

PS- I'm currently working on another fic right now, so it may be a little while until I get back to this one. just be patient!