Set Up

So, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow became good buddies durin' th' time me and Aizen was gone, eh? We's gonna' have to fix that. We can't have that now, can we? That was why I was gonna' put an end to those two, or at least their friendship. My smile grew.

I walked down the hall hands in sleeves thinkin' to ma'self. How, o how coulds I break those two up? They's had to had a weak spot in they're friendship. I just had ta' find it. I would need ta' closely observe them for the rest of th' day…night. How was I gonna' find those two. If I rememba' what Lord Aizen said, he said they was always movin'. That was no good. I pouted. My smile returned. Speak of the devils an' they shall appear. Here come Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. I hid behind th' wall to gets a reals good looks at'em.

"Ah, okay, Ulquiorra. What should we do, now that we've had a good drink?"

"I don't care what we do as long as it's not humiliating to me."

"We should try to stay in shape. Let's take a run through the desert."

"Are you suggesting we race?"

Grimmjow smiled.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." They walked for the exit. So it was true then. They really was good friends? Oh no, no , no, six and four were never meant to get along. Runnin' through the sand, eh? Those two are both sore losers, ain't they? If one loses, th' other would get mighty upset. Now, time to put the plan into action. Maybe Grimmjow should lose. He's awfully sore. I smiled even wider.

There they was. They was gettin' ready to start. I watched from my far distance. I had ta' make this count. I took out my trusty sword, Shinsou. If I gotta' good enough shot off, I coulds hit Grimmjow and trip him. What luck! They were neck and neck!

"Pierce him, Shinsou."

The little dagger like sword made its way to th' boys. Just as I wanted, th' sword went through Grimmjow's pant leg makin' him fall. What the hell? Ulquiorra stopped runnin' and helped Grimmjow up.

"Are you alright, Grimmjow?"

"I think so. Ow, how did that even happen?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should go back inside."

"Yeah."

My jaw dropped al th' way to th' sand below. I can' believ their not fightin'. Grimmjow would have got mad knowin' Ulquiorra cheated. I need a new plan.

Back inside, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had gone their separate ways. Grimmjow was headed to his room ta' change his clothes. I followed. There was an arrancar cleaner person in there.

"OI! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! MY ROOM IS JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT! I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH THIS ORDER!!!" He yelled. The arrancar cleaner sprinted outta' th' room. Another smile made its way onta' ma' face. When Grimmjow left the room with clothes all changed, I went in. Ooh my, the room was nice and messy. I just need ta' clean it and leave a note from Ulquiorra. I laughed.

Finally, I finished. It took a good hour and a half, but I did it. Whoopee. Oh, I heards footsteps. I hid myself in th' closet hopin' like hell he didn't need to change again. The light turned on and the feet stopped. I held ma' breath ta' prevent bein' caught. I heard the note bein' opened up. There was a disgusted noise. The feet left th' room. I jumped outs of th' closest and left the room. Now ta' see the magic happen. I walked down th' hall where Grimmjow had already pulled Ulquiorra aside. Oh boy. Get the Fireworks ready.

"Ulquiorra, did you clean my room?" He had a big scowl on his face. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't been in your room."

"Don't deny it! You left a note." He showed Ulquiorra the piece of paper. Ulquiorra scanned it.

"Maybe I did. It's not like me though."

"So you did it?"

"I believe I did."

Here it comes. The moment we've all been waiting for!

"Thanks so much Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow smiled.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yeah, my room was so messy, and I hate when the no numbers clean it because they move stuff around to where I can't find it, but you, you organized everything so perfectly. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow walked off smiling. So, Grimmjow had turned into a pussy, eh? I guess it was up to Ulquiorra to steer things straight. So, lessee. Ulquiorra hated when Grimmjow ordered him around? He hated when he was disrespectful? Maybe it was time ta' give Ulquiorra's room a make-over. Hee Hee haw-haw.

The coast was clear. I went into Ulquiorra's room and closed the door. Shit! Ulquiorra was takin' a nap. Wait…this want bad. This want bad at all. My smile danced on my face. Don' ask how. It was. I shook the can of spray paint I had in my hand and let it rip. A masterpiece. That was th' words for it. Oop! Almost forgot ma' finishin' touch. I walked over to Ulquiorra.

I sneaked outta' the room reals quiet like. I took a gong outta' my pocket and hit it. I heard Ulquiorra jump. Then I sneaked off again ta' find Grimmjow. I found Grimmjow sittin' in the hallway hummmin' a familiar tune. Why the hell was he humming Cartoon Heroes by aqua when he was an anime villain? I shrugged. Ulquiorra stomped over to him; Grimmjow smiled up at him.

"What's going on? What happened to your face?? It's all drawn on and stuff."

"That's what I want to know. Grimmjow!"

"Hm? What? You think I did it?"

"I woke up and all of my stuff had been knocked onto the floor, and all the walls had been spray painted. They read: I am Grimmjow! Ulquiorra make me a sandwich." He paused ta' narrow his green eyes. I waited patiently ta' see how this fight would start. Grimmjow scratched his head.

"Hm? It sounds like something I would do, but…"

"You can't deny it. You did it."

"There is a lot of proof…"

Come on Ulquiorra! Snap th' lil' twit's neck!

"I suppose I must thank you for that."

WHAT THE HELL!??!?!?!?!?!?!

"If it hadn't been for that, I would never have been able to make it cleaner than it was."

"Oh, well then. Your welcome."

My jaw dropped lower than it ever did b'fore. How was it possible that three of ma' genius plans worked out. It was time for th' big guns. Where was Nnoitra?

I finally found th' lazy bum sleepin' in his room. I kicked him offa' the bed. He fell and looked at me sharply.

"YOU WANNA' DIE!?!?"

I smiled. He was th' perfect man for th' job. I waved ma' hands at him nonchalantly.

"Nnoitra, well, well, I'm sure you're aware of th' sitiation at hand, right?"

"Sitiation? Situation? Huh?"

He was a moron too? He was too good th' job! His mouth opened widely.

"Oh! You're talking about that effed up situation with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra becomin' friends, aren'tcha'?"

I nodded. He stood up towerin' over me.

"What can I do to help?"

I smiled wider still. This was going to be good. A simple trickery.

Nnoitra an' I stood in th' hall outside Ulquiorra's door. Everyone knew Ulquiorra was in his room at this time. Doin' what? Thinkin' ta' himself. I gestured Nnoitra start.

"Heya', Gin. I didn't know you was back yet."

"Oh yes, I jus' arrived some time ago…with Aizen."

"Okay, so ya' been hearing about all the rumors goin' around now?"

"Rumors? Oh no, I haven't. Anythin' juicy?"

"Well, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow have become friends."

"Oh my, they mus' be so proud to have ended the fight."

"Actually, no, I just heard Grimmjow call Ulquiorra a stuck up prick and an Aizen kiss-ass when I talked to him a few minutes ago."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Les' take this elsewhere. This sounds good." We walked down th' hall an' waited. Ulquiorra opened th' door. He walked down th' hall. He didn't look happy!! Nnoitra and I high-fived. Now for Grimmjow.

We took Grimmjow into the kitchen and set him at the table. I had ma' hands on his shoulders and ma' face was mockin' tha' of sad. Nnoitra stood ta th' side shakin' his head. Grimmjow looked at us.

"What's goin' on?"

"We's gots bad new for ya', Grimmy."

"Bad new?"

"It's about Ulquiorra."

"Ulquiorra? Is he okay?"

"He better than okay. I passed him in the hall and he was talking 'bout you." Nnoitra said. Grimmjow raised an' eyebrow. "He said you was a pain in his ass."

"Really?" I faked ma' shock. "I heard he call you a spineless, snivelin' coward who can't fight…and…and don't deserve ta' be an Espada!"

Grimmjow was silent. He took ma' hands offa' his and stood up.

"where the HELL is Ulquiorra!?" He stormed outta' the room. I smiled an' thanked Nnoitra. It was time ta' get Aizen, so we could enjoy th' show.

Me an' Aizen rushed down th' hall like little school girls lookin' for the UlquiGrimm fight. We rushed an' rushed until we saw it. The staredown. We pulled out foldin' chairs an' popcorn ta' watch.

"Grimmjow."

"Ulquiorra."

This wa' getting' intense. We leaned forward.

"Have you been mocking me, Grimmjow?"

"Tch, answer your own question. What about the shit you said about me?"

"….?"

"No answer, smarty pants?"

"I didn't say anything about you."

"Say wha, huh? You didn't?"

"No, I think we're being tricked."

Times ta' go. We was too interested ta' leave.

"I think someone doesn't like us being friends."

"Who would do that?"

"It is weird. Us being friends."

"I agree Grimmjow."

"Well, I like not having to fight you too."

Ulquiorra nodded.

I can' believe nona' ma' plans worked. That's sad. I was preparin' ta' get up when somethin' else intrestin' happened.

"Want some gum? It's tea flavored." He handed Ulquiorra th' gum. Ulquiorra put the wrapper in his pocket. Grimmjow threw his on th' floor.

"Are you going to pick that up?"

"Later."

"NOW."

"Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do."

"I'm superior to you. It's my job."

"Kiss-ass."

"Fool."

"Bitch."

"Fucker."

"THAT'S IT!!!" Grimmjow punched; Ulquiorra caught his fist. Me an' Aizen smiled in our chairs an' watched the fight take place. I was a lil' upset knowing all I had ta' do was litter. How boring but it got our fightin' back! Aizen jumped up and pumped his fist in excitement. I joined in. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra would never make th' mistake of bein' friends eva' again.

The End