Disclaimer: It's England who owns Sealand… used to anyway. Uh, right.

A/N: Again from the Alphabet Drabble Meme. And uh, to answer a question by the reviewer; yes, I don't like FrUk. My soul has been sold completely to USUK. |D. But it doesn't mean that I don't like France. And look! I wrote him in this drabble, right? XDD

Prompt: E=Explicit. France. Sealand (I just had to add him. XD). Mentions of America/England and Sweden/Finland.

For: sakuratsukikage

Rating: R15 to be safe.

Warning: There's Big Brother France talking about 'the birds and the bees'

Summary: France giving Sealand 'the talk' after Sealand asked him what America and England were doing inside the closet.

You would wonder why Sealand was poking on France's side the moment he stepped out of the conference room. No worries, you were not alone, France wondered why too.

And France could only raise an eyebrow when this little micro-nation that he took pity of—the little boy had those amazingly unattractive eyebrows after all—asked why England and America were entering the closet at the end of the hallway when everyone else was going to the restaurant for lunch after gruelling hours of screaming, fighting and literally pulling each other's throat off in the conference room.

And France, being France, smirked and patted the boy's head.

"Let Big Brother France explains what they are doing, Sea-chan."

"It's Sea-kun desu yo!"

Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, poor Sealand was getting 'the talk' from the infamous Big Brother France. One could only hope that his brain wouldn't be too damaged after the whole ordeal of 'the birds and the bees'. Because hey, did you really expect France to use the whole 'the birds and the bees' metaphors?

France's version of 'the talk' consisted of the sentences like;

"You know what happens when mon petit Amerique puts his cock in, Sea-chan? Angleterre will either scream 'oh god, yes! Yes! There, there…' or 'Faster you bloody bollocks!'"

"I do think that Amerique is the one who has condoms and lube all the time with him. Because Angleterre is a closet pervert, I don't think he'd want anyone to know that he wants to have sex all the time with Amerique…Not that everyone doesn't know about that already."

"Let me tell you this, Sea-chan; that jerk Angleterre of yours really has a very skilful tongue. No, I didn't mean about his sharp words and all. Ah, the things he could do to one's cock with that delish tongue of his…"

"And do you know that your Su Papa and Fin Mama actually do the same thing, Sea-chan?"

Just imagine the most explicit 'the birds and the bees' talk and you would know why Sealand would run away, looking as if he was about to gag, when he saw America or England or even his Su Papa and Fin Mama.

~End~

Endnote: Yes, I am evil to Sealand like that. Ha!

Anyway, ten more requests to fill until I can start taking requests from the reviewer. Wait patiently, please. My internship starts next Monday. It'll be a miracle if I ever get the time to sit in front of the computer much less writing fanfiction. OTL