Hi every one! Here comes chapter two! finally ne :D I hope you look forward to reading it :D and well.. I know that it might be a bit slow now in the beginning but soon you will be satisfied my friends :D hoho I really love this anime/manga. So I have a lot of thoughts and ideas :D hope you like them as well.

Warning: this is hard for me to say... but you guys, if you don't know by now that this will sooner or later become a yaoi novel then you are... slow :D not in a bad way though :O but if you don't like boyxboy don't read ^^ that's my last warning... knida ;)

Disclaimer: As you all might have guessed... I don't own Gundam SEED. But I do own my thoughts... up until now that you al are reading it :O well.. I don't own Gundam SEED Destiny ether by the way! :O "I don't want to fight... so don't make me...!" (if any one remembers who said that, you'll have an extra point! 8D)

enjoy chapter two of Childhood friends :)

-

He opened his eyes slowly, the dusk of the room filling his gaze, his arms resting softly against his chest, his entire body relaxed and warm from sleeping. Was it morning already? It was weird Cagalli had not come to wake him up yet.. or had she? Kira could not seem to remember at all. 'Nah' he thought, smiling into the warmth of the blanket embracing him. 'Not like they need me to do anything... if there were a battle... the alarm would have woken me...' He smiled a little more, burying his face into that soft, warm blanket, trying faintly to remember when the blanked had ever become this soft, after all his years on the Archangel, he had never woken up rested and with a smile on his face, like now...

He let his eyes rise, this was warm, something soft, something...someone breathing. His fingertips softly touched the slimmed chest so close to his own body, his eyes following slowly as his fingers trailed over the rising ribcage. The muscles curved under his didgets, making him bite his lip as he recognised that red fabric, the texture, the feel of the warmth underneath. His eyes and fingers met that dark hair, his fingers lingering there, twirling themselves softly and almost automatically around those curls, while his eyes moved... those lips, that nose... those closed, otherwise, green eyes.

"Athrun..." he whispered, the name sounding different in the darkness of this room, like it had used to sound. He smiled at the ring of it, how gentle it sounded as they both lied there, in the small room, both warm from sleeping. "You even fell asleep in a place like this...? You'll look stupid you know... Athrun."

It was as if his voice just wanted to speak his name. How strange it was, some how, finding Athrun in his bed when he woke up made him happy. He was not alone like he had been for so long, not even Lacus had really changed that feeling. Still, seeing his friend sleep peacefully next to him, no, more, with his arms around him made him calm and at ease.

"Athrun... What are you doing here?"

"Mmn..?"

The young man, with all his gorgeous warmth woke up slowly, almost as slowly as Kira had woken. Those green, spotless eyes made the warmth in Kira's stomach glow stronger, all regret that he had woken Athrun up now disappeared, leaving him satisfied to the core, filled with the warmth of those eyes.

"K-ira?" The darker one let out, his sleeping voice softer than any voice Kira had ever heard, he loved when he spoke like that. "What... Where am I..?"

"Stupid" Kira smiled, letting go of all warmth to sit up, even though he instantly regretted it when the cold air of the room hit his sleepy body. "You must have fallen asleep in here yesterday when you insisted on me gong to bed, because you are sleeping in my bed, Athrun"

Tiredly the other one rubbed his eyes, almost like a child, his slim fingers brushing the dark bangs of his face, looking out through the darkness almost as if to confirm the statement. Kira smiled, pulling his eyes of his friend. When these times came around, he always felt good inside, and still that cold feeling always crept onto him. He didn't want to look away, and still he did. He didn't want to let go of Athrun's warmth, but still he did. Even when they sat next to each other at the dinner table, sometimes, he found himself staring, not because his gaze got stuck, but because he wanted to see...him.

"What time is it then..?" that sleepy voice sounded behind his back and Kira felt shivers run down his spine, causing his lips to curve again. No wonder Cagalli was so obsessed with this guy, always making a fuss about him, where he was, what he did and why. He had always thought that girls were like that but when she had started, it had chocked him. After all, she wasn't really the typical type of girl, not even he, her brother thought that. Still, he had known Athrun his entire life (except the years they had been parted by war, but those years, to Kira, didn't count any more), and he knew he was a good guy at heart. If Athrun and his sister were to fall in love, get married, he should just be happy for them right...? Well that was some how not the case....

"You know, Athrun" he said as he stood up, walking towards the bathroom, looking back over his shoulder at the man in his bed, now regretting even more that he ever stood up and walked away from him. "You will look stupid if Cagalli finds out you spent the night with me..." Even though the had not meant for it, those words sounded quite harsh. Well, it was not like he was happy any more, because it was true, and he didn't want it to be. Why had Athrun slept there any way? Hadn't they agreed they wouldn't do this any more....

"And you don't want your sister to know, how come?" Athrun asked from the bed, he, that man Kira had problems not to think about, he who had done him so much harm, he who had comforted him when no one else had, he who his sister was absolutely mad about.

"Well, I'd like to keep my life" Kira joked, almost to get the sad feelings of his mind. "And besides..."

"Hm?"

"Ah... never mind"

He lowered his eyes, watching his feet for some seconds. What was there to say? They both knew this subject was not their best idea. Still, Athrun had really slept in his bed, and there was nothing that could help them escaping their memories. They had shared a lot, still there was only one memory they could not talk about, one memory Kira both detested and treasured at the bottom of his heart. So what was there to say, when he could not talk about that, and still had mentioned his sister... at a moment like this.

"I asked you what time it was... before..." Athrun mumbled after what seemed like hours, but in fact must have been only a minute.

"You can check my phone... I'll take a shower..."

"Kira... I..."

Kira stopped again, half of him enlightened with the light coming from the opened bathroom door, his eyes shining as he turned his head back to Athrun, saw his green orbs search for his. He looked away.

"Not now Athrun..."

***

"So you really have to go, kid?" Kojiro Murdoch asked as he helped with the final preparations of Athrun's jet. The young man sighed and nodded, lowering his eyes a little, almost regretting his decision already. "I see... May I ask...?"

"You have become polite on older days Murdoch" Athrun smiled back with his helmet under his arm, resembling Kira almost, the same colours on his suit now.

"Oh don't insult me, kid" the older man laughed back and rufled his hair. "And you have said your good bye's I hope? Because... some how it feels as if you will not be coming back for a while?"

"Ah..."

Athrun could not really seem to find the words when he addressed this man. He knew he could be trusted, even with secrets, Murdoch was a honest man, true to his friends, but, there was always something in the way he spoke. Athrun was not used to being treated like a boy, a child. He hadn't been treated like one since his mother had died in Junius-7, and being treated like one now, at eighteen years was... not of the ordinary.

"To Kira too?"

He lowered his head again. Kira had no idea he was even gong to leave. No matter how long he had been trying to get it out, to just tell him, the words had gotten stuck in his throat, or Kira had walked away. Sometimes he had even wondered what was the hardest: fighting Kira – life or death, or having to talk to him about him leaving again. To see the pain in those eyes were like trying to walk with your eyes open through a sandstorm... And to hold his own tears back would be even harder...

"Athrun!"

The woman's voice woke him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Cagalli, her hair all messed up and her eyes filled with tears, running towards him. He sighed and forced a smile onto his face, embracing her warmly as she crashed with force into his torso. She cried for a while, silently for once, her shoulders twitching with hiccups underneath his strong arms.

"Cagalli.." He whispered with a soft smile as she had calmed her self. "I have to go you know..."

"But... You have to come back!" her tears fell as she spoke, looking up at him, her tear filled eyes a different colour than the colour he wanted to see, but still, so much like her brother. "Promise me you'll be back, Athrun!"

"I promise... Cagalli"

A soft motion behind the girl made him look up as she once again buried her face in his chest. Kira was standing on the balcony bridge over the door. He was looking down at them, his eyes wide open, his hands cramping with their grasp around rail in front of him. He was not crying like his sister, but Athrun could feel him, feel the pain they shared. This was not the way he had wanted Kira to find out. The anger made him breath in deeply, he was angry with himself, for not being able to tell even Kira...

"Kira..."

"Eh..?" the girl in his arms sounded as she looked up at him again, drying her tears with the back of her hand.

"No nothing, just... can you tell Kira..." he smiled and helped her dry a tear still falling down her damp cheek. "...that I'm sorry I didn't tell him good bye?"

She nodded, and he sighed. He knew that wouldn't help, and he knew Kira would be lonely no matter what he did to try to ease his pain. He would be lonely too, without Kira. The girl in his arms smiled, even though he did not really see it. He was not on the same ship as she was, not in the same dimension... he was up on that bridge, with her brother. To him, it was not her he held in his arms, not her he told not to cry with his softest voice, not her he kissed...

He could feel her body tense, then relax under his lips, how she answered him back, and that was where he realized what he was doing. There was no room to break free as she kissed him and he kissed her. She, the sister of Kira, the sister of his childhood friend, the sister of the one he...

"Oi, kid" Murdoch warned and let his hand tap Athrun's shoulder. "It's about time you'd be of."

Cagalli broke away from him, her cheeks flushed more than they had ever been, her eyes sparkling, fingertips brushing against her lips as if wanting to preserve the feeling of where his lips had touched hers. He could feel his stomach cramp. She looked so happy, and still... behind her some where, he could hear the thick of a door close... close behind Kira.

He didn't look at her again, only turned away, his heart sinking in his chest. he knew he had to go back to the base, he needed to speak with Shinn, Lunamaria... And still, he knew his heart would stay here, with the people he cared the most for, the only family he had; Archangel, the crew... Kira. "I will always protect you.... no matter what" his own words sounded in his mind as he climbed into the plane. He had made that promise, years ago it seemed now, and still he was leaving again, still he was unable to stay and protect.

"So?" Muroch's voice echoed as he put Athrun put his helmet on. "Will you be back this time, kid?"

Athrun looked down at him, a vague smile on hos lips. "I'll be back, definitely... no matter what, I'll see you again."

The fact that those words were not to ether Cagalli or the older man, he did not say, but he saw in Murdoch's eyes that he knew. He, after all, was one of the few that knew the truth, and that had kept it a secret, all this time.

"Take care of everything until I'm back, Murdoch" he sighed and the man made thumbs up. It was strange really. That morning he had woken up next to Kira, he had never thought he would ever feel that calm again. And now, just hours later, he was looking out through the hatch, shivering to the bone, leaving him behind, leaving the warmth of him, his heart pounding hard as he closed his eyes.

"Athrun Zala, launching"'Kira, don't hate me for this... I'll be back, I promise. So please, wait for me.'

***

"So he left?" Kira asked as he stuffed the cabin with towels. He had managed to make himself useful, just so that he wouldn't have to face any one telling him Athrun had gone. And still fate had irony, because the last person he needed to see right now had already found him.

"Mm" She answered, twirling the tip of her hair around her fingertips. "He said he'd definitely be back soon... So I believe him, you should too, Kira."

"Well of course I believe him, he is my friend after all.." he answered, still not looking at her, because he knew if he did, his feelings would give him away.

"Then why didn't you come to say good bye to him?" Her voice sounded disappointed, almost as if it was her he had not said farewell to. Why did she care about if he had had the time to talk to him? If she hadn't been so occupied kissing him, she might have noticed he had stood at the door. "You know Athrun was really sad he didn't have time to say good bye to you, you're his best friend after all."

"Well I had other things to do, it can't be helped now can it?" He didn't need to tell her Athrun hadn't even bothered telling him he was leaving. He didn't care if she was mad or disappointed at him, he felt just like that towards Athrun...

"How can you say that?!" She spat, jerking his shoulder so that he faced her, his back against the wall, he looked away still. "After all that has happened, can't you even go to say bye when he is leaving?! What if something happens when he is out!? Will that be the last thing happening between you two?!"

Her words were like swards shot straight through his heart. Why couldn't she just let him be? What ahd he done?! Why had Athrun told her about leaving... and not him? What was it..? That they had shared bed that night? But... nothing had happened, right? So why...?

"Sometimes I think you are so stupid Kira!" She kept on, her brown eyes shooting arrows of pain at him. "He wanted me to tell you he was sorry he didn't see you and still... still you have that look on your face! Like he abandoned you!"

"Well he did!?" He couldn't take it any more. Her hands on his shirt loosened as she saw the tears springing out from his eyes. Shocked she backed away, looking at her brother with almost scared eyes.

"What... do you mean...?"

"He didn't even tell me he was leaving!" He closed his eyes hard, trying to prevent the tears from falling, hitting the wall behind him hard with his fist. "He told every one except me! And still... when I came to see him... he was... you were... kissing him... It didn't really look like he needed to talk to me any way!!"

"Kira..."

"Just leave me alone... I need to be by my self when I sulk..."

"Kira.. I..."

He gave her one look, making her fall quiet. He was angry, sad and frustrated with himself. He always used to be so composed and he could see how this shocked her more than any thing. Still, Athrun leaving left him vulnerable even though he knew every one on the ship was there for him, Athrun was different. He looked at his sister, his gaze loosing some of it's deadly anger as he breathed out. She was not to blame, still, he needed to think, alone.

"I'm sorry, Cagalli" He said, looking out the small window to his side. "But I just need to calm down... you should go back to the bridge."

As she had left him, with some soft words and a faint smile, he sank down against the wall, his hands clasping the towel he was supposed to put in. His tears were falling, leaving nothing but emptiness in his mind... emptiness and memories.

"Ne Athrun?"

"Yeah?" he answered, smiling softly as he lit the last candle, the room now glowing with a cosy, yellow light.

"Thank you..." He could feel himself even blushing as he pulled the blanket closer around his cold body. "...for saving me earlier."

Athrun smiled, his green eyes happy for once as he seated himself next to him, wrapping his war arms around Kira and his blanket. "What else would I have done? Couldn't let you die you know....besides..."

The silence fell, Athrun watching the candles, Kira watching him. The sound of the storm outside, the sound of the crew running outside the door, the sounds of their breaths, it all was calming as he watched Athrun's pale skin, his green eyes. There was something about him that always kept Kira's eyes on him, making him unable to concentrate as they were close.

"Besides..?" He asked, almost as if longing to hear his friends voice once more. Athrun smiled, his hands tightening around Kira's back, his warmth overflowing his body. The cold from the freezing water had started ti fade now as he was wrapped in such warmth, the warmth of Athrun.

"Besides..." Athrun continued, after moments of silence. "...I will always protect you... no matter what" He said, his eyes glowing in the light from the lit candles, Kira's eyes unable to let him go, shevers running down his spine, goosebumps already forming on his arms.

"Why do you say that..?" he asked back, his voice not more than a whisper, making Athrun look down to meet his eyes. "Even though you might die..."

"Because..." Those green eyes were smiling, almost sparkling and all other sound seemed to dissappear with his words. "...I can't live without you...Kira."


"Athrun..." he whispered, closing his eyes to fully see his friends face in front of him. "I can't live without you ether... so please, come back. I promise, I'll be here when you do..."

***

"Athrun, welcome back!" Lunamaria smiled and waved as she made her way towards him through the crowd. He smiled back at her, actually kind of happy to see her cheerful smile as she hugged him tightly, then following him to the cafeteria where the rest of the crew was seated.

"Athrun" Shinn said, standing up to welcome him, Athrun smiling a little. some how he wondered what he was doing there, even though he knew he had to do what they told him to. The ship was still the same ship which had tried so many times to shoot the Archangel down.

Still, he sat down to get some food before being called somewhere else, like always when he got back here. Shinn and Lunamaria were talking to him but he didn't really listen even though he answered them when he was directly spoken to. The dark haired boy in front of him was stiff as always when Athrun was around, but the fact that the boy had problems with authority didn't really matter at the dinner table. Luna, on the other hand, always smiled towards him, giving him the feeling he had gotten in the beginning with Cagalli. She seemed like a happy girl with many thoughts and ideas in every subject possible. But it was almost as if she paid him to much attention to be noraml... He didn't feel like having yet another girl fangirling over him while he didn't even know his own feelings. It wasn't really like he thought she was in love with him, but he had not thought like that about Cagalli ether, in the beginning...

"Oh, Athrun" a calm, steady voice suddenly said as the sound of the door closing died away. They all looked up to see Rey, the blue-eyed, teenage boy Shinn was always hanging around with, standing there in his red uniform, his fingers neatly around his elbows, his arms lying crossed over his chest. "Welcome back. We almost started to fear for your safety..."

Those blue eyes caught Athrun's green ones and he could feel his spine shiver as they seemed so almost scan his body. The voice of the blond man in front of him was so familiar to him, still Athrun could nether place or put a finger on it. Ether was it that he had heard it somewhere before, or that he just sounded like someone else... What ever it was, it gave Athrun the creeps.

"Well, thank you for your concern, Rey" he answered, smiling politely. "But I am fine, there is no need to worry about me."

The blond kept looking at him, as Shinn stood up, carried hos foodtray to the counter and turned to them again. "Rey" came his voice, breaking the silence, making even Luna look up at her friend. "Let's go... I've got... that thing to talk to you about..."

"Oh right" the blond answered back, a flicker of a smile hidden in those cold eyes, even a genuine smile, that must have been the first. Athrun followed them with his gaze as they left the room side by side, knowing that somewhere beside him, Lunamaria sat, also watching them walk away, with the same wondering eyes as him.

"Well, that is something you don't see every day" she sighed, Athrun feeling a sigh leave his lips as well when the tension left with the two boys.

"They have known each other for a while?" he asked, now poking his food again."Shinn and Rey?"

"Mm" she seemed to be thinking heavily about something but before he could ask what was bothering her, she continued. "Not since childhood but... at least since Shinn came to to PLANT... and joined ZAFT..."

"I see..."

Athrun sighed again, regretting now, more than ever, what he had done to Kira. There wasn't even a guarantee they would ever get the chance to met again. Anything could happen at the moment... The pain he felt inside was worse than he had thought possible and still... he was just sitting there, not even trying to go back, not even trying to fight for what he needed to survive...

"What is it Athrun..?" came her sudden question, waking him from his thoughts of his clumsy, warm-hearted childhood friend. "You've been looking distant... all day?"

"Oh it's..." he stopped himself right there as he remembered those sad eyes that had been the last he had seen of Kira, those shaking lips... "I hurt someone... someone really dear to me. I just wish I had had time to say "I'm sorry.." before leaving..."

"What...?" she sounded full of compassion, making him want to open up to her, but he wasn't like that, so he couldn't even get his words out right. He just nodded, as if to confirm her he was not just making it up, since she looked chocked he had actually hurt any one like that. "What happened..?"

Her hand was reaching for his, a movement he was not used to see so he let it grab it gently, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. He was moved by the way she seemed to care so much about him, even though she hardly even knew him.

"I..." He said, now suddenly fighting the urge to let tears fall down his cheeks, trying not to let his pain shine through his mask. He tried not to speak, and yet at the same time tell her everything... Still, the only thing he got out just sounded like some kind of lame excuse. "I couldn't face him and tell him that I was leaving again... So I just left.. and he saw me go... I didn't even look back"

He could feel her hand press his gently, her eyes searching for his as she smiled a little, encouraging smile. "I'm sure, that when you see him again, no matter if he feels hurt now or not, he will embrace you, and tell you how stupid you are..."

"Eh?" he looked up at her in surprise and her smile grew.

"Yes, he'll tell you how stupid you were, leaving him like that ..." she continued. "And you will apologize to him, and he will keep holding you close, smiling and keep saying you're stupid.."

"Okay you've made your point Lunamaria" he smirked back, knowing she just wanted him to be happy. "But that sounds like something out of one of your love-mangas... those... yaoi books.."

"Well of course!" she laughed. "Because after telling you what an idiot you are, you will kiss him!!" she was squealing out that last part, making him actually blush with embarrassment.

"Lunamaria!"

"What?" She was blushing too, for saying something like that to her sempai but still the smirk lingered on her lips. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"Well yeah... but..."

Before even realizing what he had just admitted, her eyes widened to the size of teacups and her mouth fell open. He looked away immediately, knowing that even if he'd try to defend himself, it wouldn't work. He had just admitted he would find it wonderful to kiss Kira, to her, the babble mouth of the ship Minerva. So he kept his mouth shut for now... She was looking, no, staring at him with her deep blue eyes and her cheeks blushing even more than before. He could almost see her thoughts like a movie on her forehead... what was she thinking really? While wearing a face like that..?

"You... like.... men...?"

-

Wait?! :O he said that? She knows?! omg... and what about Kira? What has happened between the two of them that makes it so hard for Athrun to show his true emotions?! And why the **** did he kiss Cagalli there all of a sudden? :O was it that he wanted to kiss Kira...? or was there something else..? And how is he going to get out of the pinch he is in?! "You like men?" well... does he? or is it just a special someone he likes?

find out in waiting chapters :D

have fun until then! :D and you know what's fun? :D to REVIEW :D hehe so please do, I'll answer ;)