"A REPLY TO YOUR SORROW"
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto but the idea of the following story is mine.
Hey everybody! Thanks to all those who reviewed the first part of "Number 3" and well frankly I was only planning to write one until some reviewers said that it was better if I uploaded one more chapter and well…how could I refuse?
Anyways, this goes out for all you guys who reviewed! Thanks again!
With love…..
Angelic101
I observed the yellow paper in my hands, reading it thoroughly and carefully, making sure I didn't leave out any of the details. This was probably the fifth letter this month and frankly I wasn't really surprised. The National Bank of America was one of the most famous Banks in Boston even though it was actually a franchise. They had been sending me the following letters since the last two and a half years and it was safe to say that I was getting sick of them day by day.
I pursed my rosy lips and let myself slump on the red couch behind me, my long wild hair all messed up and the white shorts and the wrinkly spaghetti strapped shirt wasn't really making me anymore attractive. I closed my eyes shut; trying to think over the situation I had landed myself into. I was a well paid doctor yet I still couldn't pay off all the depts I had taken upon me and yes I was stupid to do so but don't blame me, what was an ordinary girl with probably no experience and just arrived in a new, foreign country with no job at the moment suppose to do?
True I had taken a lot from the Bank but I said I would return it right? So what's with all the fucking letters?
I sighed deeply and rubbed my aching temples with both my index fingers, a habit I had whenever I found myself in a heap of trouble. I was in deep trouble if I couldn't repay all the depts by the next month, and yes, you guessed it, the letter was actually a warning and a reminder from the bank.
Oh wow, goody!
I had no intentions of picking up the now fallen yellow paper as I kept myself, comfy on the warm red sofa but I knew I couldn't stay here since life was hard and well in my case it was just impossible!
With a whole lot of fighting and a heated session of argument with my inner self, I had finally decided to make my way up from the sofa and grab the letter, neatly setting it on the glass coffee table and then slowly and reluctantly walking lazily towards the bathroom.
After discarding off the clothes, I swiftly ran my fingers through my greasy hair and then turning the water on to full cold. I know its pretty funny why a person living in America bathe with cold water, what can I say? It always been a hobby of mine, guess I had gotten so used to the chilly droplets running down my body and sending shivers up and down my spine. It made the feeling of numbness and drowsiness leave, welcoming the morning feeling. The water dripped down my body as the shower kept sprinkling it and I suppose that was the point where I first remembered him after twenty three years, not that I had forgotten about him earlier, it's just that, I had started treating him as a bitter memory of my past and I wanted it to have no relations with my present or the future.
His silky black locks though they would always be messy, stoic yet mesmerizing onyx eyes, soft pale skin, thin lips and high and mighty cheek bones, his large yet warm hands, his sharp yet gentle words…all of it ran through every inch of the working part of my mind. Every time his memory would try breaking the walls I had built for his 'no entry', I knew I was the convict, that I was the real criminal and what I did was probably worse than what he did.
Why?
Because at least he had a reason, me? I had nothing and well all I really ever did was just shatter the little pieces of him left unbroken, though my cruelty couldn't stand it and had to stamp on him hard. I silently rubbed my hands on my body, placing the jasmine scented soap. He had welcomed me in his life with opened arms, yet I had decided to give him a life unworthy of living.
My entire fault…it was all my fault, I was to be blamed and no one but me. Why had I just left him? Oh yeah, because I thought we were just two people who were too different from one another and that living and spending life together was like purposely jumping off a cliff! But hey, leaving him in the middle of nowhere wasn't really less than that now was it?
Sometimes, it was hard to live alone, spending my lonely nights with only the warmth of the covers but, it wasn't worth it without him, during stormy nights, I'd call Ino or a new friend I made here in America, Temari but honestly, it just wasn't the same…
I let the freezing water crawl down my skin as more memories of us came back, haunting me as usual. I smiled unconsciously when I remembered our first night alone…gosh, it was so awkward, I blushed fifty shades of red and he……he seemed so cool and calm as if it was the most normal thing ever though I knew that somewhere inside, he felt a little uncomfortable too but its Sasuke right? And who else could be better at hiding emotions?
I let out a small chuckle at the memory; it was so blissful, probably the time when we realized what we felt towards one another. I let my mind graze on the time when he came back to Konoha, of course after a whole year spending in prison, he wasn't quite welcomed but neither was he thrown rotten fruit at, it was just……normal. As for me, honestly I didn't really know how to act, I mean a part of me ordered to cry and just hug and squeeze the living day lights out of him but then a voice from my head popped out completely denying the option, saying what he did was unforgivable and well, he shouldn't expect a warm welcome and yes, I agreed with the latter option.
Selfish, right? Nahh…
He deserved it!
No matter how many times I tried restraining my inner fan girl to pop out, it just never worked, I mean I didn't go all mushy but one thing I can tell you is that whatever or however I acted was pretty embarrassing.
Pfff…seriously, how can u expect someone to act like the complete opposite of them?
As memories of him kept popping in my mind, I hadn't realized it had already been an hour in the shower; I slowly turned off the water and covered myself with a towel.
Passion fruit after-bath lotion was another love of mine! I slowly applied some and massaged it on my now dry body, the freshness of its lovely aroma reached my nose and invaded my nostrils and I was glad it did! When I was done with appreciating the beautiful smell of passion fruit, I quickly got dressed in a nice white shirt with red horizontal thick strips and a pair of black pants.
Blow drying was never fun, don't blame me, my arms start aching when I hold the darn machine for too long and I think we all agree to that!
Yeah…all nice and clean, sitting on the warm sofa, the new DVD playing and a hot plate of nice Pakistani rice. What could be better than this?
I casually asked the question when it hit me,
What could be better than this?
A moment of love with him?
I smiled bitterly. Okay now this was too much, it had been twenty three years, twenty three freaking years and not once did I let my mind meddle with my old memories, I shook my head trying to get all the events continuously playing like a film and my brain playing the part of the projector out but for some odd reason, it just didn't work!
I had been horrible to him, so horrible. He didn't deserve this, any of this and I made him suffer for the most stupid reason. The sofa didn't seem so warm and snuggly anymore neither did my lunch nor the movie playing in front, it felt as if a movie of my own was playing in my mind and a part of me kept telling me that this part was the climax.
What was happening? Why in the good Lord's name was I feeling this way? And why after all these years?
I shook my head once more when suddenly my orbs came in contact with the white wall calendar…
Third of March……
It was the same day.
I felt a sense of guilt piling in the depth of my stomach and trust me it was NOT a good feeling! Every breath I took seemed so suffocated, it felt as if my heart skipped a few beats as it pounded hard against my rib cage.
I swallowed my own saliva, yet it did not succeed in refreshing my now dry throat. My eyes kept themselves locked with the calendar, more specifically, the date.
The biggest shock was the few tears that had escaped my sorrowful eyes. I just couldn't understand, I hadn't cried for years and then suddenly, all this came and now I was pouring down the Niagara Falls!
I kept on biting my lip as the only sound that reached my ears was of the movie playing on the television.
I knew why I was feeling this way. The moment I tore my gaze away from the calendar, it fell directly on the letter, neatly kept on the coffee table. Forgiveness, that's what I wanted. It wasn't long when everything I ever had would be taken away from my hands, things I had worked so hard for and at times like these I would wonder why I even bothered working so hard when in the end I was just a straight looser!
Next month was the deadline and I knew I couldn't repay all the depts. They were going to take everything I owned away and well I might even get locked up in those smelly old jails. I had lost.
My heart kept racing faster and faster until it came to a point where I was sure I felt it in my throat and that I would soon be puking and pushing it out.
I had had enough!
I pushed my heels against the ground, getting up and wiping the tears that had managed to escape. It was clear that before my life would end, I needed to do one last task!
I don't know when it happened, I don't know how it happened, I don't even know why I let it happen……but the next thing I knew,
I was on the phone, getting my seat booked for the next flight for Japan.
The familiar air brushed against my skin and I hadn't realized how much I had missed this. I opened my eyes and glanced at the scenery in front. It was still the same, I was sort of glad it was, I didn't want to miss any changes but hey, it had been twenty three years and even after this long, America still never felt like home, for me it was just where I earned.
I soon found myself in the cab and well making my way to him.
I knew he still lived in the Uchiha Compound, he wouldn't leave it, it was probably one of those places he cherished the most and there were too many memories in there for him to let go. The moment I was done appreciating then familiar feeling of my country, I looked around, in hope to find a taxi and fortunately for me, there it was just a few steps away. I hastily jogged towards it and glanced inside the mirror,
"Taxi?" I mumbled
"Yes ma'am, Yoroshi taxis at your service, we provide a perfect, reasonably priced and comfortable ride to wherever you like, how may I-"
"Yeah, yeah thanks, listen I need to get to…" I interrupted, while searching my handbag for the little piece of paper I had written his address on, I didn't miss the look on the taxi drivers face when I interrupted him, but hey I was in a hurry and well…it didn't really matter.
I praised myself mentally on finding the crumbled little piece of paper, slowly I handed it to him, "…here, just get me here okay?"
He glanced at the untidy paper as he held it with his left hand and raised a brow as if carefully reading it and then with a slight nod, he motioned for me to sit and that's exactly what I did. I heard the engine of the yellow taxi roar to life and just at the same time I felt my heart skip a few beats…
Excited?
Well, maybe…
I honestly had no idea why I was in so much hurry, I mean I had lived peacefully for twenty three years and never felt this way and now suddenly out of nowhere, this annoying feeling just pops out and makes me do things I never thought I'd do and yes, coming back to Japan was one of them.
The streets of Konoha were still the same, of course I could easily spot some new buildings but even after all this time I was surprisingly still familiar with the ways. We were on the main road of the city at the moment and I knew that in the next twenty minutes I'd be at his doorstep and my world would definitely come to a halt. Once again my mind drifted to him…How would he be? Will he be surprised to see me? Is he going to remain unaffected and show that emotionless attitude of his? Is he changed or still the same? Did he move on? I she…married?
Questions over questions came rushing as I closed mile by mile towards his door. I silently wished he was through it and not stuck up like me. His very being surrounded my mind and I kept trying to pull myself away from his thoughts, I mean so what if he's mad or happy or still emotionally constipated, it shouldn't affect me…
…
Right?
Pessimistic was a perfect adjective for my character and no matter how many times I tried easing myself, it just did not worked!
I was so busy tumbling over my own thoughts that I didn't realize I was already there. My breath hitched as glanced at the huge building, I know it hurt but still I wished he was married, at least I'll be relieved to know he didn't live here alone!
I grabbed my hand bag and opened the door of course not after paying and apologizing for earlier to the driver.
I watched the car leave and disappear at the end of the road and I knew that it was too late to turn around. I had to do this, I needed to apologize, set myself right and the at least I'd have the pleasure of resting in peace in my grave. I wasn't going to survive anyway, the authorities would sue me for everything I had and well honestly I had nothing and I knew my next flight was direct to jail.
I closed my eyes and let out a breath I had held for a whole minute.
'I can do this, I can do this…'
I kept mumbling that same line and walking towards the ebony door. I glanced sideways and was a little surprised to see the once lush gardens that were now all barren and rotten as if they weren't even touched for several years. I could see the uneven shape of the dry, yellow grass and the overgrown vines.
What had happened?
I stepped in the marble stair and was now face to face with his door, with shaky hands, I rung the bell and waiting for about two minutes and decided to leave when I heard no one, maybe I could come some other time, I was sure he hadn't abandoned the place since there was no lock on the door neither had he sold it as I could still see the rusted sign saying 'The Uchiha Manor'.
He was probably not home, I turned around and the moment I lifted my leg to move away, I heard the silent noise of the ebony door, now at my back open. I close my eyes shut and pursed my lips hard.
Was it him?
I wanted to know but somehow by legs refused to cooperate. My long pastel hair reaching my lower back, now seemed heavy and my head felt the sense of dizziness.
I stood there in the same position for the next five whole minutes and when I didn't hear any voice or the sound of the door closing…I knew it was him and by the looks of it, he was in shock.
I slowly turned around, facing him though my eyes never found the courage to lock their gaze with his. Curiosity got the best of me and my eye lids lifted themselves up, hoping to see what they had wished for. I longed to see his expression and when I did, the sense of guiltiness I had locked up inside me for twenty three years burst open and I don't know when, how or why, but right next moment, I found hot tears pouring out and sliding down my cheeks.
I had no words left, all the practice I had gone through on my way in the airplane was a complete waste and here I was in front of him, speechless and lost.
The whole time we stared at each other, not even once did he blink, he was in shock, that I knew, his eyes were slightly wide and his lips were a little parted his arms hung loosely at his sides and I couldn't really sense him breathing. All he did was stare at me as if asking all the unanswered questions from his orbs, questions to which answers I did not have.
Or maybe I did…just, scared to tell,
After about ten minutes, I knew I had to do something, I slowly brought my hand to my cheeks and wiped away the hot tears and then glanced his way. He was still the same, just more manly now. His intense glare scared me out of my skin but I knew better than just to run away, I took a step closer and found my strength to speak,
"I-It's been ling…hasn't it?" I asked lightly, though received no reply.
"How have…you been doing?"
Yet again, I heard nothing,
This was getting too uncomfortable, I glanced sideways and by the looks of it, he was all alone, there was my opportunity!
"Can I……Can I come in?" I managed to ask.
Even though there was no reply, he pushed his hand against the door, opening it wider as if motioning me to come in and I did.
We just stood there in the lounge, by the looks of it, he wasn't very good at maintaining a place to live that was still the same in him, I wanted to smile at the thought though I knew I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The intensity of his presence in the room was so much that it was getting hard to breathe!
I heard low footsteps making their way towards me, I knew it was him and quickly prepared myself to what I had to say.
There was an uncomfortable silence spread across us, we both had so much to say, yet we couldn't find the energy to.
Once again I was the one to break the annoying silence,
"I'm…sorry" I mumbled,
Silence
"Twenty three years, for twenty three years I made you suffer, for twenty three years, I gave you pain I shouldn't have, for twenty three years I kept on stomping on your heart…" I mumbled, "…and you know the worst part, Sasuke" I continued at the verge of tears, "…I never even realized it…"
I couldn't help it anymore, I poured my eyes out, now facing him, looking directly in his onyx orbs,
"I didn't want to start all this but I can't pretend that I don't know what you've been through and that I can't chit chat over nonsense knowing what I did to you! I left you, hurt you in every possible way and proved to be the worst most painful event of your life; I deserve your hatred, heck I don't even expect you to look at me without disgust in your eyes!" I yelled, "I know I've left you in amaze, and I also know that you still haven't found your way out so today, I came back to take your hand and pull you out of it, I left you because of a reason…" I said, slower this time, I could see the changing expression in his eyes, "…I left because…we were two different people, in two different worlds and no matter how much we tried, we would never be able to become one…" for the most odd reason, I saw a flick of anger in his eyes, though I ignored it, I knew I needed to finish what I had started.
"that's why I left you, Sasuke, I moved to America, hoping to start a new life and that was when I realized that there was no such thing as a new beginning, I was ruined, yet I somehow made picked myself up and made myself what I am today" I said, "I became a prosperous doctor, was appreciated and adored by all but no matter how perfect my life seemed, there was still a big hole in it you were to blame for that, for twenty three years I kept telling myself that it wasn't my fault but I knew what big lie that was, it was all my fault and I knew I had to do something about it, I just couldn't live with the guilt anymore and I don't know what came over me, I just had to come to you, ask for forgiveness, no, beg for it…" I continued.
"Miserable was an understatement, every day, every night, every freaking moment I thought of you, whenever I breathed, your picture came into my mind and thus came my sleepless nights, I missed you Sasuke, I really did but after what I did to you…" I trailed off.
There was shock, regret, anguish and sadness in his eyes and even now, he hadn't said a word, I unzipped my bag and pulled out a big envelope out, it was thick and heavy.
I could see his gaze on the carpet below, but was quickly on the envelope in my hand; there was curiosity there for sure,
"Three hundred and three times, you wrote to me…" I pushed forward the envelope containing all the letters he had written, "Three hundred and three times, I replied but never posted" I took his hand and placed the envelope also containing my replies.
"Three thousand three hundred and thirty three times you called me…" I pulled out my old cell phone and showed the messages received to him, "Three thousand three hundred and thirty three times I replied, but never sent"
"Three hundred times you tried finding me, I knew it, but never let you get the chance"
"Thirty eight times you tried reaching me; I never let you find me"
"Three million times you tried looking for me, I never left my trace"
"And every hour of every day of every week just like you would think of me, I would think of you Sasuke…I would"
Shock was so clear in his eyes, he couldn't believe it, all this time he thought I never cared but I did, I gave him full proof. His head was slightly shaking as if not believing any of this.
"I cared Sasuke, just like you did…never one did I look at another man like I looked at you" I finished.
I was dizzy now, fresh new tears oozed down and I let myself slump on one of his couch, holding my head in my hands and letting out soft whimpers.
He just stood there, blankly as if processing what just happened.
"Why?"
My head shot up at the familiar sound of his, he was looking forward, his brows furrowed and his fists clenched.
He was angry.
"Because I wanted you to move on, I didn't want you lingering on me, I wanted you to realize how different we were but…I failed" I replied truthfully.
There was a pregnant pause when suddenly I felt my wrists being held tightly and myself being pushed towards the sofa back. I was terrified, the intensity of his glare was unimaginable and somehow I couldn't get my gaze licked with his, he was definitely mad.
"That's why?" he growled ferociously causing Goosebumps to appear on my skin, "That's you excuse?" he yelled as if it was stupid.
I started shaking with fear but he didn't seem to notice it, "You left me rotting to death for that?" he repeated, tightening his hold as I let out a whimper with pain.
"I-I-I'm s-sorry…Ahh"
I was trembling now, yet I couldn't spot any mercy in his eyes, "after all that, you still have the nerve to come back, why Sakura, why'd you come back, wasn't this punishment enough?" I could see him breaking at this point.
He now felt the pain he was giving me upon receiving no answer to his question, he let go quickly and backed away, looking sideways as if disgusted from me. My heart was beating at a rate where my ribcage was sure to be blown.
After a moment of silence, I got up and walked towards the door. As I opened it, I glanced at him one more time and it wasn't a surprise that he wasn't looking at me.
"Because I'm about to lose all that I had earned" I mumbled, at this he looked at me, "I'm in loads of debts, I don't have time left, you've heard that saying, what goes around comes around right? Well, look I left you rotting to death, life took me to a turn where I'll be rotting to death too, it is fair after all" I finished.
"It's easy to say that we could have a new beginning but, like I said, there is no such thing as that, what's done is done and we cane delete that just by saying having a so called new beginning, I hope…someday you would forgive me just don't forget that I did care, I did care Sasuke, I really did…Goodbye" I said as a bitter smile appeared on my face and I glanced at the envelope of the letters, with that I closed the door shut behind me and made my way back, I was going back.
I was done; there was no point in staying or coming back here.
Seventy four message recordings, five letters, two bills and coupon for a sale on lingerie.
I had gotten them the moment I stepped in and it was totally annoying, it had been a whole day since my return from Japan and all I did was try and sleep but miserably failed, I feared I was becoming an insomniac!
I let my hair lose from the little bun I had made and put them at a side, I hadn't eaten anything since my return, probably because I wasn't really hungry especially after my little trip.
I lazily prepared myself a cup of nice hot coffee and made myself comfy on the couch. I wasn't wearing anything special, just a nice light green sleeveless shirt and some black long shorts and some nice flip-flops. Resting my head on the back of the couch, I tried calming myself down. When I felt I had succeeded, the stupid doorbell brought me back to misery.
I sighed in defeat and placed the cup down on the table as I dragged myself to the door.
As I opened it, there was no one there. Okay was someone playing a prank? Damn it, can't they see someone just got back from the other end of the world was dead tired?
As I was about to shut the door close, my eyes landed on something. I got down and picked up a white envelope with the stamp of the National Bank of America, I twitched in annoyance.
Oh wow, another warning! Goody!
I tore open the stupid envelope in a barbaric way, as if pouring out all my anger on it.
There it was that same yellow paper; I opened it lazily and started reading the contents in it.
The moment I did, I was bewildered!
'Thank you Miss Haruno for your cooperation, the management would just like to inform you that all your previous debts have been paid and are fully covered, we hope that you are satisfied with the result of our management, with regards,
National Bank of America (NBA)'
My eyes widened in shock, how was it possible? Okay someone was definitely playing a prank here! I rushed towards the phone and dialed the number given on the envelope. I waited impatiently as I heard another voice on the phone on the other end of the line,
"Hello, National Bank of America, this is Jenifer David, how may I help you?"
"Hi, this is Sakura Haruno, I just wanted to get some information relating the money I had withdrawn from the bank, as in my loan?" I mumbled
"Alright Miss Haruno, please hold…"
I waited impatiently, letter in my hand, heart beating fast…how was it possible, I hadn't repaid the Bank, I was brought back to the reality when I heard the familiar voice again,
"Yes, Ma'am, the value of your liability is no more, the bank has received the borrowed cash, will there be anything else?"
"Uh…no, no, thank you, bye"
"Good day Madam!"
I placed the receiver back and it was safe to say that I was still in shock here; I certainly didn't pay it, then…who did?
As I was lost in my thoughts once again, my eyes fell on the torn envelope and then, I caught something. I got up and walked slowly to where the envelope had fallen, on picking it up, I saw something scribbled neatly on it, I joined the pieces together and what I read almost made me die there and then,
'Who said we can't have a new start?'
I couldn't believe it, it all made sense now, he paid it, he took my out of debt, I don't know why but a warm trail of tears poured down my face and I held the envelope tightly, getting up and racing towards the door.
I quickly tore it open and got outside on the street, glancing right and left but there was no sign of him. After a whole five minutes, I sighed in defeat and just when I was about to make my way back inside I heard a soft chuckle. My head shot up at the sound and there, in my garden, was standing the man I had loved, he stood there slumping next to the old oak tree, his leg tangled, arms folded, those same messy hair and that oh-so-famous smirk of his plastered on his face.
My eyes widened in disbelief as I kept looking at him, losing the courage to walk to him.
He blinked and then slowly got out of his comfortable position, straightening his blue shirt and black baggy trousers and a black jacket. As he reached my side, he looked straight in my eyes and asked that one question…
"So, think we could have our new beginning?" he asked casually as if it was the most normal thing ever,
"W-what?" I asked dumbly,
"I said…" he neared and held both my hands in his own and lightly blew on my ear, "you think we could have our new beginning?"
I blushed madly at his touch; I had no idea what to do,
"But there is no such-"
"Shh…" he silenced me, placing a soft finger on my lips, "do you trust me?"
I looked at him admiringly, "More than life itself" I replied,
"Then let me hold your hand and prove you wrong" he said as his forehead rested against mine and his fingers slowly intertwining with mine.
"You…you think we can…actually have one?" I asked as I watched his serene face, his closed eyes and his beautiful lips,
"We can, if we want to, Sakura…" he said simply, looking at him intently and there I saw that smile I had been craving for,
"I want to"
He smiled again, this time lowering his head and slowly breathing, touching his lips with mine and giving a kiss I had never imagined could exist, he wrapped his long arms tightly around me the moment he felt me wobbling with the intensity of love he was pouring in that kiss, he could feel my knees shaking and it was so clear that if he let me go, I would slump straight down on the ground!
He kissed harder, licking my lips earning moans of love that I couldn't help but produce. He kissed again and again and again as if fulfilling his needs. His arms tightening around me as we broke apart, I was breathing fast, though he was normal, he smirked at my reaction and caused me to blush fifty shades of red. Slowly he rested his head in the crook of my neck and breathed me in.
I enjoyed the moment, every single part of it. Life didn't seem so miserable anymore and I knew that it would definitely be better now.
"Sakura, let's go" he said, well obviously ordered, that jerk!
"Where?"
"Home"
And I smiled…
Wooooo! Finally, I'm done with Number 3, I hope you guys like it, now that I gave it a happy ending! YAY!! SASUSAKU FOREVER!!! Anyways all my readers of "MOONLIGHT" don't worry, chapter 22 will be out soon, please read and review, also suggestions are always welcome!
With love…
Angelci101