hey there follow Gundam lovers :D I've been working on the idea for the end of this story and even though it's sad I realized the end might come more quickly than I had thought from the beginning. However we'll see what happens.
Any way, here is chapter six at last :D hope you'll enjoy reading it :P Soon there will be a new character arriving ;) I've made some changes to the whole "course of the original story line" there but I hope that will be liked as well ;)
ahh... I'm not making any seance am I? well you'll have to read the rest I guess XD
oh and about the cliffhanger from two chapters away... I'm sorry ;) but I guess "the one who waits.." ;)
Warning: Yaoi ahead! even though it's mostly angst right now ._. sorry about that XD
Disclaimer: I don't own GSD... sadly enough ;__;
"Ne, Athrun..." the young man whispered as he let his soft fingertips gently touch the skin of the pale chest in front of him, making goosebumps appear to his delight. With a soft smile on his face he followed the little shapes with his eyes and fingers while biting his lip softly.
"Yes..?" Athrun smiled as he looked down at the warm boy in his arms, even pulling him softly closer which earned him a soft whimper from the tanned one as their bodies collided smoothly, sending shivers with pleasure down both his and his lover spine.
"What you said earlier..." Kira whispered, looking straight into the green eyes he had always adored to the fullest, softly moving his fingertips over Athrun's strong torso. "You can't live without me..?"
"Yeah..?"
"You really meant it, didn't you, Athrun?" the smile on the tanned boy's curved lips was so priceless, if Athrun had seen himself, he would have realized his eyes were filling up with happy tears. Kira's smile widened and his fingers gently reached Athrun's cheek, stroking his cheekbone and biting his lip again. "Can you tell me again...?"
Athrun felt his insides warm and he could not help to close his eyes in happiness, feeling his lips tingle from where Kira had so very recently kissed them. He could have lied like that, so close to Kira, his arms around him until the end of the world and his feelings would never change. His voice, his breath, his warmth and his body... they were all so close...
"I can't live without you... Kira"
"Really...?" Kira smiled and pressed his soft body gently and carefully against Athrun's, maybe to tease him, or maybe he too, felt the bond between them and wanted to be even closer. Athrun looked back into his eyes again, slowly letting his hand travel over the tanned boy's slender waist, up, following the smooth skin over his back and his shoulders until he reached that gently curved neckline.
"Really" he whispered as he let his fingers curl themselves around Kira's neck, pulling him, as softly as he could, the last inches until their lips touched, so tenderly Athrun felt a warm feeling spread through out his entire torso, travelling further down. As soon as his body reacted, a small shiver went through Kira's body, as if he had felt the same warmth too, which only made the feeling even more intense below Athrun's abdomen.
Kira's lips were the softest Athrun had ever felt, the smoothest, he adored them. There was no way he could ever have enough of him, no matter how long they kissed his lips and body always tingled for more every time they parted. And Athrun didn't want to stop, not this time. As soon as his body started aching with longing he slowly wrapped his strong arms around Kira's trembling body and with a strong but sweet motion he managed to get the surprised boy on his back, now standing on all four over him.
"Athrun..?" Kira blushed questioningly, biting his lip hard as his blush increased from under the pressure of Athrun's body and those green eyes. Athrun felt like smirking, or smiling, he wasn't sure, but he must have done the first of them because Kira just couldn't stop his blushing cheeks from burning. Athrun slowly let his body rest against Kira's, feeling him tremble with excitement and maybe nervousness when their excited skin brushed against each other.
"Yes...?" he answered slowly and Kira closed his eyes, taking a hold on Athrun's arms while biting his lip, trying not to let out any sound of pleasure as Athrun moved a little. To be honest, it took a grate deal of self-control even for Athrun to stay focused and quiet when the aching pleasure screamed through his body. He was torturing them both... but he didn't want to do something Kira did not feel like doing. Kira however, seemed so focused on keeping his mouth shut, he did not seem to want to answer. "Kira..." Athrun whispered while bending closer to his love, breathing warmly against his lips and cheek then slowly kissing down over his cheekbone, kissing ever so softly over his neck and to his delight a tender moan escaped Kira's now parted lips.
"Ah...nn..." he whined, closing his eyes even harder. He was always so innocent in his reactions and Athrun fellt his goosebumps return immediately as the boy under him grabbed his back hard at the same moment as Athrun nibbled slightly on the skin of his neck.
"Kira..." he whispered once again, now right next to his ear, breathing with war air, making Kira's already tensed body shiver even more from unsatisfied pleasure.
"A-Athrun..." he stuttered, gripping around Athrun's back with his warm fingertips, which made Athrun hiss as he mover his hip against Kira's in response. "I... Nnah..." Kira tried but the soft moan escaping from his lips was unstoppable and now, even Athrun could not be quiet. He wanted so much more... Wanted this and everything else. But how do you ask something like that, when you can't even say those three words..?
Athrun did not know what to do and for a second he stopped his motions, making Kira open his eyes in fear almost. His cheeks were red with excitement and embarrassment, his hands and fingertips digging into Athrun's back and his hip pressed tightly against his. Still, the fear in his eyes was scaring Athrun... did he really not want to? or..?
"Wh-why did you stop..?" the boy suddenly asked, looking straight into Athrun's green eyes which so much force it even made Athrun blush.
"I... I just.." he tried but there was really no good explanation for the cause of it. And somehow, Kira too, knew that.
"Because I don't want you to ever stop, Athrun" he said as he shook his head slightly, jerking upward so that their lips, bodies and warmth locked together at once, making them both groan with longing and pleasure. Athrun's mind went blank at that moment, nothing but Kira was on his mind. No worries and no pain. Only the love he felt for the boy in his arms.
Even before Kira relaxed, Athrun moved forward, parting his lips with his tongue almost by force but Kira did not really fight it. The boy moaned with longing and closed his eyes while burying his fingers in Athrun's raven-blue locks, pulling it in a desperate attempt to show his feelings since he could neither speak nor moan very well when Athrun was kissing him so forcefully. Athrun was on the brink of break down as he suddenly felt Kira shift underneath him... felt Kira's legs softly wrap themselves around his waist..!
"K-Kira?" Athrun managed to get out before the by opened his eyes and met his gaze, still blushing but with that tender smile covering his face with happiness.
"No other way than this..." the boy smiled, stroking Athrun's cheek, touching his bottom lip with his thumb. And even though Athrun did not fully understand the meaning of his words, he felt the warmth spread through his body as Kira kissed him again, deeply, their bodies pressed to tightly together the slightest movement sent them both moaning with longing.
"Wh..." Athrun begun as they broke apart, in need of air, but he did not have time to finish his question before Kira moved his hip, biting his lip as Athrun moaned and tightened his legs around his waist, the blanket sliding of them.
"Because I love you, Athrun."
-Door opening-
"Hey Athrun, It's time to head back to PLANT, I came to pick you u...."
And there we go, the door had opened, the light was shining straight into the candle lit room, falling straight onto the two boys, exposing them to the two pare of eyes now staring at them in shock. Deakka was silenced immediately as he saw them, Murdoch was only staring with big eyes and nosebleed warning... busted.
"We have to call the Minerva..." Deakka said as Yzak took his place in the commander seat, the captain giving orders to take off.
Yzak sighed and rubbed his temple in confusion. The preparations had taken more time than predicted and they were at least one hour behind schedule. Even though he did not really show it, Yzak wasn't just irritated and mad at the crew for being so slow, he was worried to bits as well... He had never really liked Kira, that was a fact, by now he respected him how ever, for what he had done and all... but if Kira died... Athrun would be...
"I know" he said, sounding quite a bit more angry than he had planned to, immediately regretting that he had used that tone towards Deakka, when he knew the guy well enough to realize he was even more worried. "But who will we tell? and what? We can't speak with Athrun you know we can't... and we can't tell them "something, unknown what, happened to the pilot of Freedom"... they would just not care and since we can't call Athrun about it, what good will it do?"
"We have to tell them something..!" Deakka said, standing up from the chair he had just seated himself in, almost making the crew jump in surprise, even Yzak looked up with big eyes. Deakka was always composed, and if not, he at least did not yell like this.
"Deakka..." he said, knowing his voice sounded low and intimidating to the crew, making them look away and stop listening, to afraid they would be punished if they kept staring. "I know you care about this, Christ, I do too. But there is nothing we can to about it at the moment, so I advice you to return to your room until we reach the Archangel, rest.."
"But Yzak..!"
"That's an order Elsman!" Yzak made a movement with his arm as end of discussion when he stood up, his eyes burning. He looked as when he had pointed that gun at Deakka's face, so many years ago. "Or do you oppose your commander?"
"Yzak..." Deakka almost whispered, shocked he was being treated like nothing, even though he knew what Yzak said was true. And he also knew that if it came out they carried more than appropriate about what happened on-board that ship, they both could be marked as deserters or traitors... they might get killed. Even though Deakka knew all this, even though he knew Yzak did this to protect them both, especially to protect Deakka, he could not believe this was happening...
"Major" Yzak said with his harsh voice, turning away from his vulnerable friend, closing his eyes. "Escort Elsman to his room, and make sure he stays there..."
"Yes sir!"
"Yzak! You know I wanna stay here!" Deakka tried but the dark haired man grabbed him by the arm and asked him to follow quietly or he would be dragged away by force. Deakka stared at Yzak's back but without struggling. "I don't get you any more..."
"Well... maybe you never did, Deakka..."
***
"Hey Athrun..." Lunamaria whispered as she entered the dimly lit room, looking around to see where her sempai was hiding in the dusk. His actions earlier had both moved and scared her, since she did know him quite well by now, this sudden behaviour shocked her. Athrun had always been modest, at least a little shy... He really needed someone to talk to, she was sure of it.
"What are you doing in here, Lunamaria..?" That low voice sounded from the bathroom and she felt herself blush as she stopped. She had not really been thinking of what to say... only that he might need her.
"I came to see how you were doing..." she said and started walking closer to the bathroom door, slowly, wanting to make sure he wasn't standing there in the nude or something!
"What I need is not a psychologist, Luna..." she heard him sigh and the door opened, almost blinding her with the light coming from inside the narrow bathroom. Athrun held high even though she could see he had been crying, his green eyes were so intense she got goosebumps and his hair wet from taking a shower, he was however wearing clothes, but his shirt was almost as wet as if he had taken the shower still wearing it. Lunamaria, who had not really realized herself how hot she thought this man was, was now standing there with her mouth wide open...
"I..." she tried to get out but his lonesome eyes quieted her instantly and he passed her without a word. She turned and looked at him as he sat down on his bunk bed, lowering his head, sighing deeply while the waited dripped down his bangs. "Athrun..."
"Yeah... that's my name..." he sighed but before he could make that pained face at her she threw a nearby towel at his head, looking away with blushing cheeks and her nose up in the air.
"Dry your hair, stupid" she snort, at least she cold act as if nothing had happened and he might get happier. "You'd be useless if you catch a cold you know."
"Useless?" he repeated, and to her delight she heard he was at least smiling a little as he started drying his hair. "Useless to whom, Luna? To you? Or to this ship?"
"Well to the ship of course! You'd never be useless in my eyes..." she blushed as soon as the words left her mouth but they were true so she did not even try to deny it. In stead she went for the bathroom door and shut the blinding light of.
"You should never say never..." Athrun said, sounding slightly depressed again but there was something in his voice that made her stop in her motions. Athrun was older than her, and completely out of her league... and on top of that, wasn't he in love with a man? Still... she could not help to feel herself drown as soon as she felt his arms around her shoulders...
"Athrun..?" she whispered, still blushing but now more than ever. What was this all of a sudden? Athrun Zala was hugging her? From behind?! And her swatter was getting wet, not that she cared at all about that small detail though. He really was... confusing, this one.
"Don't speak..." came his voice, so close to her ear she shivered all over. "Just... stand still for a little while... like this..."
His voice was so weak, so gentle she thought she could have fainted. His arms were warm even though his body was wet. She really didn't mind, even though she actually understood she was just a substitute for someone else... Hearing him ask this of her was heartbreaking, so she didn't mind, as long as he could smile at her again, when all this was over.
"Yes..." she answered, closing her eyes and hugged his arms softly back, not moving in any other way. "As long as you want... Athrun..."
They stood there, Athrun with quiet tears dripping down his cheeks, mixing with those cold drops of water still lingering in his bangs, Lunamaria, her hands gripping Athrun's, her eyes watching the sealing in silence, feeling those tears on the back of her neck. Athrun wasn't the kind of person to show his tears... and he did not this time either but she could feel them... his arms held her as if she was his most beloved, but in his mind he was not holding her and even though that hurt her somewhere deep inside, she knew right now, she was the only one who could help him... so this was what she needed to do, for his sake.
***
Yzak sighed as he walked through the narrow corridor, knowing this might be hard for him, visiting Deakka when he knew what he had done earlier was not really the nicest thing to do to your closest friend. Still, what he had done was necessary, and he wished Deakka had realized that by now... The crew had acted like idiots all the way, and when they had finally gotten to the right course, they had still held Yzak so busy he had not had time to even check on Deakka until now... damn. It had been really distracting, knowing that he might just have made Deakka feel even worse about this whole thing...
"you're free to go" he said in his harsh voice as the major saluted him when he approached the door.
"But he is under guard..." the man tried and earned a slap across the face from Yzak's hard fist.
"What is that nonsense?!" he spat and his cold, blue eyes almost burned marks in the younger man's terrified once. "I never said he was a prisoner?! Now leave before I make mush of you!"
"Y-yes sir!"
"Christ..." Yzak sighed and rubbed his temples as he opened the door to the room he and Deakka had shared while putting away their things. The light was turned of and even before Yzak reached for the button he saw Deakka lying on the bed as always, his hands under his head... as always.
"You really should learn how to control that temper of yours..." his low voice came and Yzak felt shivers run down his spine, no matter how hard he tried to stop the feeling, that always happened as he hared Deakka's voice. "...or you'll explode..."
"I haven't exploded yet, have I?"
"You really so stupid you have to ask me about that?" Deakka snort, but not with the same joking voice as he normally had when he was making fun of Yzak. Now, his voice was cold. "You can just put your hands on you stupid head and feel if it's still there..."
"Deakka..."
"Did you come here to apologise? cause somehow, I can't see you doing that... right Yzak? Or do I really not know you at all after all this time..."
Yzak did not know what to say... he always used to know, so being struck dumb was an unusual feeling to him. Still, he said nothing this time. Deakka sounded... hurt? Angry? Disappointed..? maybe even... sad? How should he react to that? Really.... Deakka was always so full of himself...and still at a time like this, all Yzak wanted to do was...was to... no, he couldn't do that. No way...
"Of course you know me Deakka... I just.." he eventually said, knowing that staying completely silent would not help more than to speak his mind, even though he had no idea what his mind wanted him to say. Deakka looked up at him immediately by hearing those words, his eyes glowing in the dark, like the eyes of a hungry tiger.
"Oh really? Cause it didn't sound like you thought that just some hours ago" he snort and Yzak felt his heart sink even further down in his stomach.
"Deakka, you know I just said that in the heat of the moment..." he sighed and sat down on the side of the bed. "And besides... the crew..."
"You tend to say a lot in the heat of the moment, don't you Yzak?" Deakka interrupted and immediately Yzak lost his temper. Who was Deakka to judge him like that? Even though he was true about it, weren't they in thsi together? Weren't they both just as worried about Athrun and Kira?! So why did Deakka bring up Yzak's temper in all this?! But Deakka wasn't finished; "Like that time, supposedly in the heat of the moment, when you said you..."
"Why do you keep bringing up how stupid and bad at everything I am?!" Yzak spat, now he, the one interrupting. "Am I really that useless in your eyes..? You know I only ordered you today because I had no other choice! Or do you really want everyone in ZAFT to know that the pilot of Freedom might be dead?! They would shoot the Archangel down immediately if the word came out! Even you know that don't you?"
"This is not about that!" Deakka said between his teeth, gritting them but still remained on his back on the bed. "I know that you are my commander, as well as theirs. I know you only did it for our best..."
Then why are you so pissed at me Deakka?!" Yzak tried to ask calmly but it sounded more like a scream to them both. He didn't even know why he got so emotional all of a sudden. It was true he had a quick temper but... He and Deakka fought quite often, so why did this time bother him so much? Why did it feel so different? Was it because Deakka was so much more emotional than usual..? Because that made Yzak so confused he did not even know what to do...
"It pisses me of that I don't seem to know you any more!" Deakka answered, now sitting up quickly, coming so close, Yzak even leaned back, almost as if to get away from him. "We haven't seen each other for ages and the first thing you do is give me that disgusted look as soon as I enter the room! Last time I saw you, you and I were something completely different from what we are today, weren't we?!"
Yzak stared, so confused and surprised he did not even know what to say this time either. The scariest thing actually was, that he knew Deakka was right... He had felt it too... The feeling of slowly loosing his grip on that firm hand which always had belonged Deakka... They couldn't be... gliding apart... right? There was no way...
"And just hours ago... when I needed you, you were there for me like you have never been... at least not since we joined the army!" Deakka continued, now his voice sounding... more sad than before. "So you must be right Yzak jule... I don't know you, and when I think about it, maybe I never did."
"Deakka..."
"So get out! Because you are not even the Yzak i once thought I knew!"
***
Athrun slowly puled his uniform on, attaching the FAITH pin on the front as he walked over to the mirror, looking at himself... silently. Why had it come to this? The Minerva was preparing to take of on her way back into space again, taking of only some days later, heading for PLANT... And by now... by now, he was even further from Kira. Once in space, even the sky would separate them, and as they say "the sky is the limit..."
"Athrun..?" Lunamaria's sleepy voice came from the bed he had just left and he turned his head slightly, smiling a little as he saw her rubbing her eyes sweetly.
"It's okay Luna.." he whispered and walked back to her, sitting down on the bedside, stroking softly with his hand over her hair. "Go back to sleep, it's only seven am."
"But why are you up..?" she asked in a desperate attempt to wake up but Athrun's soft hands against her temples made her too relaxed and she yawned against her will.
"I just got called to the captain" he smiled as her eyes closed again. "So don't you worry, I'll see you later, Lunamaria..."
"Mm.." she mumbled and he pulled the fabric up over her bare shoulders before leaving her in his room, in his bed...
How did it turn out like this? Why did everything happen at the same time..? And why did his head not stop aching? No matter what he did? Since a couple of days back his head had been out to kill him... And if Athrun had been more like Cagalli, he would have taking it as a bad omen...
His entire way to the captains office it felt as if his mind was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment and blow up the entire world. He couldn't even walk without every step hurting even more, still he knew he had to hide his pain, it was only just a headache after all.. he could go to the doctor later to ask for some aspirins.
"Athrun Zala, entering" he said and bowed politely as he had entered to room. Captain Gladys smiled and nodded back in greeting but remained in her chair.
"I'm sorry for calling for you this early, Athrun-san" she said and he straightened his neck as he looked at her. "But I was told to inform you that one of your old friends will join us soon.."
"Old friend?" Athrun asked, unable to hide his surprise. The first person popping into his mind was Kira, but of course it could not be him... then who? Not Deakka, he had already been on board the Minerva so it would not be a worthy news to tell him in this early hour. And because Yzak was together with Deakka at the moment, due to his injury, then the possibility of it being him was close to zero, so... who?
"Yes" she smiled and something in that smile told him, she would not tell him who, he would have to wait and see. "The chairman told me to make it a surprise however, so more than that I cannot say"
Athrun sighed and smiled a little. Everyone on this ship seemed to try to make him happier by joking and smiling at him. Everyone seemed to see he was not well... Even though it was almost working, Athrun could not help but feel a little embarrassed about the whole thing. He didn't deserve everyone doing all this for him...
"But, might I ask you why this friend of mine is boarding this ship?" he smiled and her smirk grew gently, as it always did at times like this.
"He said, that he felt that you needed him, the chairman told me"
Athrun was struck dumb by those words. Really? Then who was it?! This even started making him feel guilty now, for not even being able to guess who it was, since, apparently, it had to be someone really close to him... right?
"Well, he'll be arriving here about eight am, so I'd like you to go and greet him, Athrun-san.."
"So it's a man?" Athrun smirked and she blushed when she realized she had babbled out to much. But Athrun didn't really know her enough to tease her about it, and besides she was his captain, so instead he smiled and put his hand to his forehead in a slight salute. "I will, captain"
All the way towards the eating aria, he tried to think through his years at military school, even his childhood... but everyone he could think of was either dead, gone or just not close enough to him... his mind was so confused and focused at the same time, he didn't even notice Mayrin as she came into his path.
"Athrun-san!" She squealed as she almost tripped. He looked up and immediately realized he was the one almost knocking her down to the floor.
"I'm sorry" he hurried and caught her so that she could get her balance back, he even blushed a little... he really needed to pull himself together!
"No it's okay" she smiled and corrected her skirt, so innocent under his gaze, blushing as she smiled. "By the way Athrun-san..."
"Yeah..?" he smiled back, scratching his neck as the started walking side by side toward the kitchen.
"Have you seen Luna today? Or yesterday evening?"
He blushed immediately at the question, only a little, but not so that she could see it. Instead he tried to by time by correcting his bangs.
"Because she said she would go look for you yesterday end then she never came to bed..." Mayrin added and because she sounded so worried, Athrun could do nothing but tell her...
"She spent the night at my room..."
"Eh? with you..?" Meyrin blushed and blinked quickly.
"Yeah... with me, she is probably still sleeping... I guess..."
oh my :O Athrun what have you been doing with Lunamaria?! something you'll be regretting?! Oh no... don't tell me you... (end of sentence ;) hmm?)
And what about Deakka...? and Yzak? Will they ever get the time to talk about this? Will Deakka forgive Yzak... or have they really glided apart...? is there anything Yzak can do to get his childhood friend back by his side..? "you're not the Yzak I once thought I knew.." hmmm... poor boys!
And who is this friend by the way..? ;) the friend who claims he knows Athrun needs him? ;) feel free to guess ;) if you're right I'll give you an award ;D (this might be interesting!)
hope you enjoyed the chapter :D
and don't miss the extra, down there *pointing down*
Lunamaria stretched her tired body like a kitten, and then yawned like one too, blinking slowly as she looked around the room. She immediately froze... This was Athrun's room, right? When had she fallen asleep? And this was his bed... right?! What was she doing in Athrun's bed, at eight am, with her hair all messed up and Athrun no where in sight?!
"Don't tell me..." she squealed and blushed all over the place, burrying her red face in the pillow, which immediately intoxicated her with the soft smell of Athrun, meking her light headed. "Did we really...? ahh!!"