Chapter 3: The Final Chapter of the Life of X-avier, Avenger of Santa
Scene 1: The Death of A Santa
X-avier was a fool. Really?! You like Tool?

"I thought you said there would be hos, hos, hos! YOU, are a liar, Satan!" X-avier says while Santa slowly dies a horrible, gory, mysterious death. It was Brendan Fraser's fault. Fucker. "Satan? Oh no- I am on my own! I shall take upon the task at hand, and avenge Santa's death!"
Scene 2: Let the Marymint begin
It was midnght; 'twas a stormy night, too. Mr. T says "I pity the foo".

X-avier mounted the sleigh, and went off into the night. "To the Wardhergen der Venkerjerk's home!" He yelled into the night. He finally arived at the Wardhergen der Venkerjerk's abode a few hours later; damn faulty JRZ(Jerk Rally Zeta) directions! Carefully creeping into the home, he paid no heed to the man inside getting up for some late-night work. "What the hell are you doin' in here?!" the man asked him. X-avier stared at him for only a moment. "I am explororing my inner philisophical quandrys by masquerading as a man you do not believe exists or ever has." he responded. "What the fuck? You're about to experience some DAMAGE!" The man then began beating X-avier into a pulp. "Fine! I am veangefull, so you shall recieve no presents!" "Wait a minute... Are you supposed to be Santa?! You dirty son of a bitch!" And the man continued to beat him. The man's family came in, wondering what all the hubbub was about. "What's all the hubbub about, honey?" A pair of Siamese twins askes. "Er... Nothin'!" the man says and throws X-avier out the window. "Curses. My inner theories worked like nothing against him."

Scene 3: The Santa Avenger that Couldn't
X-avier would try again, alas. Did you know that even Santa has to pass gas?
"Second time's the charm!" X-avier said to himself. He walked over to the next house, and knocked about 50 times with his hooves, really loud. "What the FUCK is all that gol durn racket?!!" A man with a southern drawl screamed. "'Tis I, Satan!" X-avier bellowed. "What the hell?! Satan's come 'round? Aw, shit!" X-avier heard a gun being cooked(Misspellation intentional, as to further confuse you. And you.). All of a sudden, gunshots were everywhere, and one shot X-avier in the shoulder. "Oh no! The most fatal of wounds! I am confident that I shall pass into a better being, and learn the true secret of life. But why would I need to know the meaning of life if I do not live? WHY?!!"...and then he dies.