SM own twilight…what a lucky girl.

Ok so I had to put this up quick because you guys were amazing with the reviews and messages! So here you go…just a warning…it's sad :[

Then I managed to get out, "Edward…I need to tell you...about my past."

He looked into my eyes, wiping away the silent tears that just feel from them.

He gulped and whispered, "Bella…are you sure?"

"Yes, I need to tell you." I told him. If I was going to let myself get close to him, and I really want to, I have to let him know.

"Okay." He responded while running his finger over my face.

"I'm just warning you, I'll probably cry again."

He kissed my forehead. "It's ok Bella, I'll be here."

I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself down.

"Ok, two years ago I met Kyle at school. He was his class's president and he was liked by everyone at school and the whole town. One day I bumped into him in the hallway, because, you know me I'm a total klutz!" I managed to laugh but it was shaky and Edward just sort of smiled. I think he could tell that I was about to break down again. "Anyway, he sort of sought me out. He would be outside of my classes waiting for me. Always being a gentleman, sort of like you. But uhh then he asked me out on a date and I said yes. All my friends thought I was so cool because I was dating the upper classman president. Then I started to fall for him."

Something in Edward's eyes seemed mad. It was just a hint of it but I could see the change. I could understand though, he knew this story wasn't going to end well.

"He seemed nice, you know, he would open door, carry my books, and he was smart, and well liked. Then we got serious we dated for four months before I found out what he did in his spare time. He smoked pot and a lot of it. I always wondered what he smelled like but I couldn't place it, but as soon as I saw him smoking the pot I just, I don't know. I loved him. I couldn't get him in trouble." I could feel the tears start to form again.

"Anyway he became comfortable with smoking around me and he just kept on smoking more and more. He tried to get me to smoke it and I did…just a couple of times. He told me that it would make me feel amazing, but it didn't. I mean for a short time it did, but then we I came off the high I realized how stupid I was being. I only smoked pot a couple of times but I just did it to make him happy. Anyway I thought he would stop you know? I thought of him as this amazing person, his class president. I just put him on this pedestal right away and I didn't realize it, but it would make it harder on me later. But he just kept smoking and kept wasting his money so we didn't go out as much. By this time we had been dating over a year."

The tears starting coming more frequent as I remembered what was coming next, Edward was still wiping them away as soon as they feel.

"By this time he was a senior and I was a sophomore. He started to ask me if I would be comfortable with sex. I told him that I didn't think I was ready, but I really loved him…maybe that was a sign right there. My heart was saying that I loved him but my brain knew better. I wish I would have listened to my brain. Anyway he would keep on asking me and it was getting harder and harder to say no. So one day he asked and I said yes because he was bothering me about it so much, but before we could do anything Charlie came home. And I was very grateful for that because I knew that was not how I wanted my first time to be. I wanted to want it to happen. The next time we were alone he said that we should do it…but I said no…and he got really angry. He kept on saying but you already said yes last time, and I told him that I changed my mind, and then he lost it… he hit me…repeatedly…." I started to cry harder.

Edward moved his hands down to my waist and hugged me to him. He kept one hand there and then with the other one wiped away my tears. He kissed my cheek.

"Bella…" he whispered. "you don't have to tell me if it is going to be too hard."

"I know." I cried. "but I want you to know."

He kissed me, and then urged me to continue with his eyes. His eyes looked hurt and I could tell this was hard for him.

"I was shocked at first and he was too. I could see it in his eyes he was sorry…the first time. It started to become a habit of his, hitting me." Edward hugged me tighter to him. "He would hit me after he smoked, after I told him that I didn't want sex. I could handle that. I could handle it, but then one day he just came over and hit me…without a reason. Right on the face and I could tell he wasn't sorry. I didn't want to tell on him, I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me. Then one day I tried to call him, but he left me. HE left ME!" I cried into Edward's shoulder harder grabbing his back for support.

I took another deep breath, I had to finish.

"One day I decided I needed to talk to him and tell him he couldn't hit me anymore. So I called his house. His mom said he went to go finish his senior year living with his dad. He left me. And what hurt the most was that I knew he didn't love me then, I knew he was lying to me when he said it. And I just broke Edward." That made me cry again, and he just held me. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

"And the worst part is I didn't tell anyone except for Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie. My own Dad doesn't even know that I was abused. He just thinks I was depressed because he left, but he doesn't know half of it. I was depressed until the start of the summer, that's when Jasper and Alice threatened to tell my dad why I was depressed. So I started going out more. I started to see I could become happy, but I'm paranoid that people will leave." I have to stop there for a while.

I just need to breathe. Edward rubs my back soothingly and I must have feel asleep because when I wake up I'm next to Edward. I look at him.

I really don't deserve him now. I just spilled my pathetic life story to him and he is still here. He still wants to be with me.

I look at the clock it's 9:30. Oh God we are late to school…crap.

"Edward?" I say rubbing my hand on his arm.

"Hmmmm?"

"We are late to school."

"Bella we aren't going to school today." He says opening his eyes and stretching, putting an arm around me.

"Why?"

"We have some things to talk about that's why." He said rubbing my back.

"Okay, but first," I kiss him and hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. You don't know how much that meant to me." He hugs me back.

"Bella…" he started he seemed nervous. "last might you kept on saying 'I don't deserve you' in your sleep…who were you talking about?"

I gulped, I had to tell him. "I was talking about you."

He just starred at me and then said, "How could you think that?"

"Edward I just feel dirty, I feel like I let that scum bag take over my life and I'm just so scared. And you, you are just amazing, you don't even try but you are everything." I tell him, starting to cry.

He sits up and hugs me.

We just sit there and hug each other until he says, "Bella, one day you will see that we do deserve each other and that you are equally as amazing. I will let you see that."

I laugh, "You can try."

"Don't worry I will." He said holding me.

After a while we start to get hungry so we go downstairs. He bakes me chocolate chip pancakes, which I told him were my favorite yesterday on the phone. I smile and say thank you, but he can see through me, he knows that here is something else.

"I have to tell you something else." I tell him.

"I figured." He said grabbing my hand.

"In August, actually a week before you came into the store, Kyle wrote to me. He said he was sorry for everything. But I didn't believe it, but Edward you have to know. I have been so much happier since I've known you. Even Charlie can tell. So you need to know that you have made me so much better and that I really do care about you." And then I start to cry, I can't believe I still can cry.

"I must have the world record for crying by now." I laugh. But Edward turns to me and comes and picks me up.

"You Bella Swan are beautiful, and you need to know that I love you, you don't have to say it back, but I do. I know it might me hard for you, and you don't have to say it until you are completely sure. But I do love you, everything about you. And I think I love you more, now that you have shared that with me." He said kissing my forehead.

"Thank you Edward, for everything." I tell him as he wiped away my tears.

"How about you go take a shower?"

"ok." I agree, I did feel disgusting.

"But I should call Charlie first."

"Yes, you should." He agreed with me.

I looked at my phone 7 messages all from Charlie, I call him.

"Bella?" He asked immediately.

"hey Dad."

"Thank the lord, Jesus, Bella where have you been?"

"I'm at Edward's dad."

"why?" He asked angrily.

"Dad Kyle showed up at the house yesterday and at the store the day before."

His tone immediately changed from angry to worry.

"What did he do Bella?"

"Nothing he just tried to apologize, but I need to talk to Edward, so I came here, but don't worry Dad I still have my "V" card."

"Are you alright, Bella?" My Dad asks.

"I will be." And when I say that I hope it's the truth.

"Ok well I have to go to work but thanks for calling me and rest today we can talk later. Just make sure Edward stays with you the whole day."

"I will dad, don't worry."

"Okay Bye Bells"

"Bye Dad."

I hand up.

"Ok I started the shower for you, and I put sme towels in there. Umm I guess you can you my tooth brush, I mean if you want, but I'm sure I could find another one."

"Edward," I say walking over to him, "it's fine thanks." I try to smile, but it still seems wrong to smile so soon.

But he smiles and hugs me on the way to the bathroom.

I undress and get in. The warm water relaxes me. I just let my mind shut off, it needs its rest. I must have been in there for a long time because Edward came into the bathroom.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah," I say poking my head around the shower curtain so he can see me, "why?"

And then I notice he has his shirt off. Oh my dear lord, thank you.

I can see his muscles in his chest and an outline of a six pack. Good Lord, he is amazing. He caught me ogling him because he has to clear his throat for me to focus, which causes me to blush.

"Sorry." I tell him, "Uh what were to saying?"

He chuckles, "Just making sure you are ok, you have been in here for a while."

"Oh well I just finished could you hand me the towel?"

"Oh umm yeah…I mean sure…umm here." He says putting it in my hand.

"Thanks."

Then I heard the door shut so I stepped out of the shower and was drying off. When I open my eyes I find Edward staring at me.

I just stop with the towel wrapped around me.

"Uhh, I was just bring you some of my err….ummm….what are they called…oh clothes." He tells me showing them to me.

"Oh. I thought I herd you leave."

"No. I just shut the ummm door."

"Well ok." I say, completely forgetting that I am standing in a towel, wet in front of the boy that I'm pretty obsessed with.

He just keeps on looking at me and I keep on looking at his delicious naked chest.

Then I turn around. And I hear him gasp.

"what?" I ask him.

"Can you turn back around? Please, Bella."

I did as he asked and I was beginning to become worried. Then I jumped, I was surprised by his touch. He was tracing something on my back…the scar.

When he spoke again his voice was sad, and I think there was a little bit of anger.

"Bella…did he do this to you?" Edward asked disgusted, still tracing it on my back.

"Y-y-yes." I said starting to shiver. I don't know if I was starting to get cold, or if it was the memory that was making my body shake.

Edward came to my front and hugged me to his body, which half was still naked. And I hugged him and cried into his chest, still naked with a towel wrapped around me. He clutched onto me.

"Bella, did he really hit you that hard, that it would leave a mark?"

"One day, I didn't want to kiss him. He pushed me into the side of his house. And a bricked scrapped me. I didn't take care of it, I just let it bleed. It felt nice actually." I kept on crying. "I was so messed up Edward and I still am. I was happy that I was bleeding, I thought it made me feel better, do you know how sick that is?"

His hands went to my face to wipe away the tears.

I looked into his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry, he just looked so sad, and I was doing that to him. I'm so disgusting.

"I understand Bella, I get it."

And then he kissed me. And I kissed him back hard, but I did it out of anger, of what Kyle made me feel.

I began to knot my hands in his hair. And then I moved my hands down his chest, feeling my way down his chest. I was exploring new territory, but Edward just kept his hands on my back. And I just kept on grabbing at him, like some sort of monster. Then I realized what I was doing, placing my anger somewhere else.

"I'm so sorry…about that." I told him, my voice breaking.

"Shhh Bella, it's ok." He soothed me, swaying us back and worth. After I settled down he suggested that I should get changed into some clothes.

When I went back into his room, he had a shirt and shorts on, and I was wearing one of his t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Thanks for the clothes, again." I told him.

"It's no problem Bella; I think it's what I'm supposed to do being your boyfriend and all." He said with a smile, and I smiled back at him, it felt better than before.

"So what do you want to do with our day?" He asked.

"I don't know, I've never skipped school before."

He laughed, "Me either, but I'm sure we will figure out something to do."

We decided to just take a nap because I was exhausted. I went to sleep fast and woke up around 1 o'clock p.m. to Edward looking at me.

I smiled, "hey."

"Hi, Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, you didn't go to sleep?"

"No, I tried, it's just, I liked watching you sleep…ummm better than sleeping." He said nervously. I giggled.

He was rubbing my back.

He still seemed worried about me.

'I think I'm to tired to cry, so I'll just tell you something. You HAVE to understand this Edward." I told him looking into his eyes so that he would get that I was really serious. "You are nothing like Kyle and you are just amazing. You have to understand that I want to be with you so bad, and that's why I told you. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I just want you to understand why I am the way I am. And you have to believe me when I tell you that you are everything that Kyle pretended to be. And I can tell that I…care for you…a lot…already."

He nodded waiting for me to finish.

"I don't want you to do anything stupid about Kyle, I just want you to be here for me, and I can tell that you are. And you don't know how much I…appreciate that. And you are nothing like Kyle."

I took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm done."

I was silent for a minute.

"Bella, I do understand." He said kissing my cheek. "But if I see Kyle around, I don't know what I will do, I mean I will try not to hurt him or start something with him. But I don't know if I would be able to…stop myself from doing that." He whispered to me. "Not after everything he's put you through."

It was my turn to nod. I got it. If Edward did care about me, and I was pretty sure he did, he said that he loved me. Then he might not be able to control himself around Kyle. I knew if my other friends found out that he came back to see me, they would most likely hurt him.

"Ok." I told him.

"How about we go watch a movie and get something to eat?" Edward suggested.

I agreed. We ended up watching so comedy and I just liked watching Edward laugh along with the movie. Even his laugh is beautiful. I didn't even know that that was possible!

Some time around three I said that we should go to my house. He agreed and said he wasn't leaving me until Charlie came home. I was pretty sure Kyle wouldn't be there, he said that he had school.

And Sure enough when we got there the house was empty.

We decided to play chess and Edward was kicking my butt. Then he just asked a question out of the blue, "Bella what are you going to do?"

"About what?"

"About…Kyle."

"I really wish I knew Edward."

He thought something over for a minute. "Do you think you should tell your Dad?" He asked in a whisper, I could tell he was scared of what I would say. "I mean then you could get a restraining order."

"I don't know Edward, I thought about this a lot."

I said sighing. "But I don't think Charlie will get it like you do, he will be my Dad a freak out, he won't listen to everything."

"It's ok Bella, I was just asking but can I ask you a favor."

"Of course, I owe you."

He grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes, "You don't owe me anything." He said seriously. "Just if he comes around again…call me…please…just let me know. And if you need me to come get you, tell me, and I will." He said. Then he kissed me.

"You know I really don't deserve you now." I told him.

"You know I really don't want to hear that." He said making fun of me.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" He asked me.

"Yeah."

"Ok."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering." He said with a grin.

Then Charlie came in, holy cow it was 6:30 already. Time flies when you spend your day with Edward.

"hello Sir." Edward greeted Charlie.

"Hey Edward, thanks for staying with Bella. I called the school for you to let them know I asked you to skip due to police business."

"Thanks." Edward said.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to my daughter."

"Absolutely sir, have a good night."

"I'll walk you out." I told Edward.

We were standing near his car in the drive way, hugging.

"I might call you later." I told him.

"Call me whenever you want." He said kissing the top of my head. He started rubbing my back and I could tell he was tracing my scar.

"Bye Edward, and thanks again for today." Then I reached up for his mouth and kissed him.

When we pulled away he just said, "No problem at all." Then gave me another squeeze and got into his car and left. I watched him pull out of the driveway.

It was time to talk to Charlie, but was I ready to tell him the truth?

I didn't think so, telling one person was already hard, I don't think I could deal with two in such a short time.

Charlie was waiting for me at the dinner table, he warmed up left overs.

"So Bella, why was Kyle here?" He asked in his serious voice.

I sat down, "He tried to apologize but he is filled with sh…I mean crap."

"No, you were right, he full of shit." Charlie agreed, that made me smile.

"Did he do anything to you Bells." I think Charlie has known for a while that there is something that I'm not telling him, but I'm just not ready to deal with that yet.

'He tried to kiss me but I pushed him off of me."

"Good for you Bells."

"Thanks, but I was just…weirded out by the whole thing. And it made me break down again. So that's why I went to Edward's.

"Yeah I figured."

It was silent for a few minutes.

"Do you want to tell me anything else, like I should go and arrest him, or something?"

I laughed, "No Dad, but thanks."

"I love you Bells."

Don't cry Bella, don't cry.

"Thanks Dad, I'm going to go to bed. I need some sleep."

"Ok hun, goodnight."

"Night."

I walked up to my bedroom and locked the door.

I called Edward and told him hat I talked to my Dad, but I didn't tell him everything. Edward said he was proud of me anyway. And we just stayed on the phone until I fell asleep.

I really don't deserve Edward Cullen as a boyfriend.

So, a sad chapter. But there was bound to be some.

So Kyle is a butt hole like many of you guessed.

Bella needs to hang in there, she as been through a lot!

Anyway you guys are awesome! Right now I have 25 reviews and I'm so excited, you have no idea! :]

It made me smile.

So thanks for the reviews and keep 'em up!

Tell me what you think of this chapter. There was a lot.

I wish I had an Edward…don't you?