Chapter Ten

"The entire minibar?!"

"I was thirsty!"

"Ophi's got my pencil!"

"Ron, put down the information desk."

"You know why airplane toilets are so big, right?"

"Oooo, look! A cute little vampire doll!"

"I find that insulting."

"I want peanuts!"

"I want juice!"

"Have you seen my watch?"

Severus rubbed his temples in exasperation.

"Let's just try to get into the airport, shall we?"

"Why aren't we using the multi-locational portkey?" asked Will, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Coz we can't find it," yawned Louise.

"There's customs," said George, pointing to an official looking area with a large sign reading "CUSTOMS" above it.

"We'll get the pup-kids through that security gate if the rest of you want to go through the other," suggested Remus.

"Sure," said Harry, as he walked through the doorway.

"Clear," droned an official-looking woman with a large baton clipped to her belt.

Harry turned to watch the others make their way through. Fred and George were also cleared, and Hermione soon followed them.

Louise had to take off her shoes and belt before she was allowed through, but, despite Fred and George's suggestions, she was allowed to continue wearing her pants.

Severus went through next with no problems, but Ron was searched and the customs woman confiscated a large knife, a box of razor blades, two pairs of nail scissors, a baseball bat, a spear gun, a very realistic replica of a P-90, a set of screwdrivers, nunchakas, lighter fluid, a small fire extinguisher, gel shoe inserts, and three snow globes showing various tourist sites around Russia. However, he was allowed to keep his container of pudding.

"Hey, Harry," said Ron, "want some pudding? It doesn't contain lethal amounts of arsenic."

"I'm fine, thanks, Ron," replied Harry, "I had a big breakfast. Could I have it later?"

"Yes," grinned Ron, "have it for lunch. Have it all for lunch."

The Lupin-Blacks made their way over to the group.

"How are we going?" asked Sirius.

"Almost done," replied Harry, "any problems with you guys?"

"Caelum's retainer went off," said Remus, "but nothing other than that."

Will joined the group, carrying a very grumpy Hank in a carry-cage.

"I once had a hit single," grumbled Hank, "is this any way to treat a superstar?"

Rachel stepped forward, preparing the be the last of the group through the gate, but before she could pass through, a group of several men in black suits walked briskly up to the girl.

"Rachel Carmilla Grey?" asked the short man at the head of the group.

Rachel nodded cautiously.

"We're from the International Crime Squad," continued the man, " we're here to arrested you with the assassination of Mr Jonathon Dohe."

Rachel's eyes widened.

"Fuck," muttered Severus.

"If we don't go now we'll miss our flight!" exclaimed Will, "we'll be stuck here for ages!"

"I refuse to miss more of my schooling for a petty murder investigation!" pouted Hermione, stamping her foot in anger.

"Pup-kids!" shouted Sirius, "ATTACK!"

And, with that, the airport began to resemble a massive children's birthday party in which red cordial was the only beverage served. The officials yelped in pain and terror as the beseeched by the children – they seemed to be everywhere – prodding stomachs, pulling hair, poking eyes, tweaking noses, untying shoelaces, ripping clothes and yelling non-sequiturs into ears like Armageddon was upon them.

Severus grasped Rachel and spirited her away. Louise began encouraging a group of back-packers to riot, and Fred and George surriptiously ignited a few fireworks. Hermione grabbed Ron and Harry and lead them hurriedly towards the boarding gate. Will let Hank out of his cage and whistled in an innocent fashion and the angry grey cat proceeded to wreck havoc on any shin that caught his eye.

"Oh, golly," said Remus as he half-heartedly attempted to pull Eridanus off the leader of the officials, "I'm terribly sorry about this."

Suddenly, a loud siren ripped its way through the crowd. Everyone froze in place.

Caelum fell over. "Aww, man," he sighed, "I never win at Musical Statues."

"What's going on here?" roared a large, furious woman.

Louise immediately started sobbing.

"Я потерял моего ребенка!" she wailed.

"Say what?" muttered Sirius.

"Ahhh … she says she's lost her baby," replied Remus, "… I think."

"Я проник через большие двери, и затем некоторые мужчины взяли мою маленькую Реджину!" continued Louise, which, translated, basically means, "I came through the big door and then some men took my little Regina".

The other woman softened visibly.

"These men would not help me!" continued Louise, obviously still in Russian, "I said, 'my baby, she is gone, will you find her?', but they pushed me and I landed on a suitcase and it banged and the little children became scared and – oh! Who will help my little daffodil now?"

And, with that, she burst into tears, again.

"You!" roared the woman, pointing at the group of officials, "get out of here! I'll deal with you later!"

"But – m'am-", started the short man.

"Do not start with me Ivan!" she retorted, "You're already on probation, I believe?"

The man lowered his head and motioned for the other officials to follow him away from the group. Most of the men didn't look too unhappy at leaving the pup-kids behind.

"There's nothing to see here," said the woman firmly as the motioned for the twins, the Lupin-Blacks, the students, and Will to leave. "Come with me," she said to Louise gently, laying a hand on her shoulder, "we will get you a drink, and then we will find your baby."

Louise nodded tearfully.

"She is so little!" she wailed, "so little!"

Fred and George looked at each other as Louise was lead away.

"Is it just me, or was she-"

"- trying to point at something?"

They looked at the handbag Louise had left behind.

"She did say never, ever-"

"- ever, ever, ever-"

"- to go into the handbag …"

" … but I think this is an exception."

George peered into the bag and pulled out the first thing he found.

"It's … a doll …" he said.

Fred pointed towards the tag hanging from the doll's arm. "Not just a doll," he said, "the label says to tap three times."

George shrugged, and did so.

The doll grew and grew until it was the size of a normal baby. Then, it started to cry. Loudly.

"Мой ребенок!" cried Louise, breaking free of the other woman and running back down the hall towards the twins. "My little Regina! You are safe!"

She took the doll from George and rocked it in her arms.

"But where? Where were you hidden?"

Fred and George looked at each other in confusion.

"We don't speak Russian," said Fred to the official lady.

"English?" suggested George.

Louise shook her head in apparent confusion.

"She asked where the infant was," asked the official.

"Oh," said Fred, "under that luggage trolley, George bent down to pick up his pen and there she was."

The lady nodded.

"Probably put there during the confusion," she said, "and we didn't hear her because of the noise."

"Makes sense," said Harry.

"What are you doing here?" asked George.

Harry grinned. "Leaving,"

Louise stopped cooing at the baby to speak in rapid Russian once more.

"She says she is in eternal debt to you both," said the official.

The Weasley boys smiled.

"Our pleasure," replied Fred.

"But we really must go-" added George.

"- we have a plane to catch," finished Fred.

"Of course," replied the official.

"Will you be ok?" she asked Louise, in Russian.

Louise nodded, her eyes still full of tears.

The lady smiled.

"Good," she said, "now, to go and whip those incompetents into shape."

She walked off, humming happily.

Louise smiled at Fred and George before picking up her handbag and walking off towards the boarding gate.

"Last flight to Eygpt, boarding now," said a mechanical sounding voice over the PA, "repeat, last flight to Eygpt, boarding now."

Fred shook his head in amazement as he and George jogged towards the gate.

"The excitement never ends with this group, does it?"

"So," said Hermione, "do we have any idea of the possible forms a soul can take?"

Ron shrugged as he examined his complementary packet of peanuts.

"What do you think the changes of Harry being allergic to nuts is?" he asked casually.

"He's not," replied Hermione, "he likes peanut butter. Now, this book said that the Ancient Egyptians thought of their soul, or ba, as having the appearance of a bird."

"They also thought that the sun had a chariot," retorted Louise.

Caelum threw up.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed.

"Shhh," said Remus soothingly, as Sirius waved frantically to the hostess, "it's ok, we don't mind –"

"- wipe this up in a jiffy!" interrupted the air hostess brightly.

Rachel and Louise blinked slowly, and then shook their heads, almost in unison.

"Hey, Louise," said Fred, "what was the punchline?"

"Huh?" replied Louise, in obvious confusion.

"The joke you were just telling us," said George, "with the pirate walking into the bar with a ships wheel down his pants and the barman asks him why it's there and then what happens?"

Louise continued to look puzzled.

"A … pirate?" she asked slowly.

"Is this really the best time?" snapped Snape. "We're attempting to find Rachel's soul, and all you dunderheads can talk about is pirates."

"Sorry Snape," replied the twins quietly.

"I think it's unlikely that Rachel's soul will be a bird," said Remus, still rubbing Caelum's back softly, "most scholars nowadays agree that a soul has a mainly mutable quality, making it possible for a soul, or a piece of a soul, to take on the internal form of the vessel it's contained in."

Hermione looked up from where she had been taking notes.

"Are there limitations on where a soul can be housed?" she asked.

"Not really," replied Remus," but I'd assume that most people would chose a safe place."

"Inside something they liked," suggested Sirius.

"I like ponies," said Lynx.

Louise shuddered slightly.

"Stupid creatures," she muttered.

"What do you like, Rachel?" asked Remus.

"Ummm …" said Rachel, "blood …"

"That could prove tricky," muttered William.

"Go on," encouraged Remus.

Rachel thought hard.

"I'm quite fond of Severus," she muttered.

"We know that," said Hermione, "what else?"

"You like coffee," said Louise.

Rachel nodded.

"I like potions too," she said, "and bats."

"You like blackmail," offered Fred.

"And Dracula," added George.

"Didn't you once have a first edition copy of that?" asked Louise. "I can't quite remember, but I think you did."

Rachel scratched her ear,

"Yeah … maybe … I can't remember."

"A first edition of Dracula?" asked Hermione. "If you had that, would you consider it special?"

Rachel nodded.

"Yeah, sure."

Hermione turned to glance questionly at Remus.

"What do you think, Professor?"

Remus nodded slowly.

"It does seems like a good place to put a soul," said Remus.

"Tom sure thought so," added Harry.

"But if Rachel can't remember if she ever had it …" added Remus.

"Usually you have such a good memory," said George.

"Yeah," said Fred, "you remember everything about everyone, and then you blackmail them."

Rachel shrugged.

"I've been around for a while, you know," she said, "there's a lot to memories in over a thousand years existence."

"Well," said Hermione, "this is our best clue so far, and I say we go with it."

"Pity we're going to Egypt then," said George, "unless you brought it here sometime in the last thousand years."

"Still," said Ron, "there's lots of stuff that could kill you in Egypt."

Harry looked around the markets in wonder.

"Even if Rachel's soul isn't here," he said to Will, "I'm glad we came."

Will nodded.

"Yes, I'm so glad we came all this way to stand in the blistering sun and buy cheap junk."

Harry smiled.

"Yeah, it's nice," he said, "do you think Mum would like this necklace?"

"I think I know now why it takes you so long to work anything out."

"How much for the cobra?" asked Ron, as he watched Harry and Will from another stall.

"25 pounds," replied the stallholder, "watch out for this one – it's very aggressive, and deadly."

"Perfik," grinned Ron and he handed over the payment.

Severus groaned.

"What?" asked Rachel. "And don't give me the sand in the underwear line, either. I'm not swapping with you again."

Severus sniffed disdainfully.

"Would I do such a thing?" he asked. "I was merely expressing my displeasure at finding a large jar of Nundu blood, but, unfortunately, not having on me, at the present time, funds sufficient to purchase it."

"Hmmm," said Rachel, as she stroked her chin. "Would you trade the Nundu blood for a woman?" she asked the stallholder.

The stallholder shrugged.

"Depends which woman," he replied, eying Rachel's chest.

Rachel pointed to where Louise was examining a crate of old scrolls.

The stallholder's eyes widened at the sight of Louise's bare legs.

"She's a good woman," said Rachel, sensing an advantage, "very strong – does the work of many camels. Will bear many sons."

"Deal," said the stallholder, "get the woman."

"Oh, Louise," called Rachel cheerfully, "could you come over here, please?"

Louise put down her scroll and walked over to the trio.

"What?" she asked.

The stallholder handed Severus the jar of Nundu blood.

Louise raised an eyebrow as Snape muttered something incomprehensible and all but fled the scene.

The stallholder grabbed Louise's wrist.

"Come, wife," he said, "there are many things that you must do."

Louise kicked him in the shins.

"Let go of my wrist, you dirty little man," she replied angrily, "and I'm not your wife."

The stallholder scowled and gripped her wrist tighter.

"I traded my last jar of Nundu blood for you," he said, "you are my wife now."

"Haven't you ever heard of R-E-S-P-E-C-T?" snapped Louise. "Go get an education; trading isn't marriage."

"You are my wife now," replied the stallholder, "go into the tent!"

"I'm going to give you one last chance to let go of me," said Louise heatedly.

The stallholder tugged her in the direction of his tent.

"Silent, woman," he said.

But he never made it to the tent.

In one fluid movement, Louise had drawn her wand and transfigured him into a scarab beetle.

"Ha," she said triumphantly, "'silent, woman' that, bitch."

"See?" said Rachel to Snape, "I told you she'd be fine."

Louise turned to scowl at her friend.

"You know, Rachel, you can't just keep selling me everytime you can't afford something."

Rachel shrugged carelessly.

"And also," began Louise, but she was distracted by the glint of jewellery from the stall she was standing by. "Oh," she said happily, "something shiny …"

Rachel grinned.

"I knew there was a reason why we're still friends," she said, "you're very easily sidetracked."

"This necklace looks familiar," mused Louise, ignoring Rachel's comments and holding up the piece of jewellery in question, "almost like I had it once but I'd forgotten."

"Well," said Rachel, "you do have a lot of jewellery."

But Louise wasn't listening. Rachel and Severus watched as her eyes flicked between the pendant hanging from the necklace and a small horse standing in front of another stall.

"What's with Louise looking at the foal?" asked Harry, walking up to the group.

"FOALY!" spat Louise, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. "That prat!" He mind-wiped us!"

"Huh?" said the others, as Rachel's eyes slid out of focus.

Louise walked briskly up to Rachel and slapped her cheek.

"Snap out of it, Rach," she snapped, "we've got some cenataurian arse to kick."

Rachel refocused and grinned.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, "but I like the general gist."

"HOGWARTIANS!" yelled Louise. "Follow me!"

"What's happening?" asked Harry.

Louise grinned evilly.

"We're going down."

"I think she's finally lost it," whispered Hermione.

A/N Sorry that the updates on this have been kinda sporatic. I'll try to get them up more reguarly, but every nice review you send me makes me want to type more; so if you want them sooner, you know what to do. And, as always, I appreciate any ideas or suggestions you guys send in :)